#vidyadhara reader

"You seem distracted today."

The sound of your name falling from Dan Feng’s lips finally broke you out of the stupor you had been caught in. You blinked rapidly in surprise, your long lashes fluttering over your warm, round cheeks as you momentarily forgot where you were. Your reaction was slow as your eyes flitted around, briefly scanning your surroundings as your senses sluggishly crawled back to you. 

You were tucked away in one of Dan Feng’s private gardens on his estate, the scent of blooming flowers heavy in the pit of your lungs as you took a deep breath. The sounds of birds and little critters chatting amongst the canopy of leaves filled your ears, their shadows dancing across the chess board that lay between you and Dan Feng. The chair beneath you creaked as you adjusted, the long sash tying your elegant robes together swaying softly in the balmy breeze. You folded your hands neatly into your lap as your gaze naturally fell back to the chess board and you realised that you were currently in the middle of a game. Your pointed ears twitched forward as Dan Feng cleared his throat, drawing your attention as he held your inquisitive stare. 

"Surely our game isn’t that boring" he suggested as he gestured to the board, a hint of teasing in his voice. 

The deep purr of his voice made your cheeks feel warm. You shyly brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear as you shook your head. 

"My apologies, High Elder, I-"

A soft sigh breezed past his lips, tongue clicking behind his sharp fangs as he gently reprimanded you. 

"Please, call me Dan Feng."

You swallowed thickly, the heat creeping over your cheeks burning all the way to the tips of your ears when you remembered that when it was just the two of you, he preferred you addressed him by his name, not his title. You timidly licked your lips and Dan Feng idly traced the tip of your forked tongue’s movement as you corrected yourself. 

"My apologies, Dan Feng, I was just deep in thought" you said, smoothing the wrinkles of your traditional grab with shaky fingers, tugging out the creases that clung to your plump waist. 

A thoughtful noise stirred in Dan Feng’s throat as his gaze returned to the chess board. He accessed each piece as he reached for his rook, slender fingers tipped with black nails curving around the carved ivory piece as he made his next move. The sound of the chess piece hitting the board cut through the serene silence yet you still couldn’t seem to focus. You were too distracted now as you stared at the High Elder, suddenly captivated by the elegant way he moved, even when he was doing something so mundane. You could see the focus in his jade eyes like crystal clear waters, calm and all-encompassing as he analysed the board in front of him. Even when a strand of long, flowing ebony hair fell into his face he didn’t flinch, a sharp talon tapping his chin in thought as he placed the piece down. When he was satisfied, he brushed the troublesome piece of hair back into place, his gaze falling to you once more. You sat there for a moment in stunned silence as he leaned back in his chair, serpentine tail flickering out of the corner of your eye as he waited patiently. It took you another moment to realise because it was your move.

You vehemently fought back the heat that rose to your cheeks, the tip of your feathered tail flicking as it curled around your exposed ankle. The long sleeve of your robe drew back from your wrist as you moved your hand towards one of your pieces, only for you to stop before your fingers had even touched the polished surface. You drew your hand back to your face, finger pressed into the tight, thin line of your plump lips as you tried to focus. Was that the right move? Perhaps you had acted too rash? Was there a better way? You chanced a peek up at Dan Feng beneath your thick, heavy lashes, absentmindedly chewing on the dried and cracked skin clinging to the corners of your mouth as you continued to think. You had no idea what Dan Feng was planning. You never knew. You found it hard to anticipate the way he thought on the chess board and it would be hard to predict which piece he was after next. Though the number of pieces you had both taken thus far was even, you had a sneaking suspicion that was about to change. 

Just when you finally decided on your next move and went to move your bishop, Dan Feng spoke up once more and easily derailed your train of thought with just a few, mere words. 

"What is on your mind, little dragon?"

The fond little nickname he had given you made the fur lining your fat tail puff up in content and it made your spine prickle with heat every time he referred to you in such a manner. Rolling off his tongue it sounded so intimate, though you believed that was just meagre wishful thinking on your part. You were friends. Just friends. You figured he liked the nickname because he was much older than you were, his lineage predating your own in this life and the previous. Yet it still never failed to set loose butterflies in your stomach, the flap of their wings almost making you feel nauseous as your heart stammered inside your chest. Your eyes nervously flicked up to Dan Feng as he waited for your answer and in your hesitation, you picked up your knight and moved it closer to his king. 

"It’s nothing you need to be concerned about" you replied, your throat feeling like it was closing up as you forced the words out. 

You hoped that Dan Feng didn’t notice your obvious lie. Or maybe, you actually wanted him to notice. You weren’t quite sure anymore. The haze of fog clouding up your brain made it harder for you to think straight. Another thoughtful hum stirred deep in Dan Feng’s chest as he moved his rook and snatched away your knight in the blink of an eye, leaving you staring at the empty spot that was left on the board. He dangled the piece in front of him, flaunting off his spoils of battle before depositing the piece to the side. It was your move again. Your brow furrowed as you examined the board again. The nape of your neck prickled with heat and you could feel the sweat beading at your hairline when Dan Feng cast his analytic gaze upon you once more. 

"I am concerned, little dragon" he responded, the tilt of his head making his lone earring clink softly. 

Your spine tingled again and he must have noticed how using the nickname was gaining him favour. You had known each other for a while now, through various different lives. You were sure of it. While your past memories were muddier than most, Dan Feng’s were quite clear. He knew when something was wrong with you, even when you tried to persuade him that there wasn’t. It usually took a little more coaxing and prodding on his part before you finally folded and told him. Yet lately, you were much more guarded, even around him. When he looked into your eyes, he saw a faint flicker, much like the flicker of your golden horns when the sunlight shone upon them. You looked like you wanted to tell him something, but there was something holding you back. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was. And the faint smell of passion flower and rice milk you exuded was not helping him to focus when he needed it. 

"After all" Dan Feng continued. "Our weekly game of chess is hardly fulfilling when you aren’t putting up much of a fight."

His jab dug under your skin, burrowed into your veins faster than either of you anticipated. Normally, such a playful taunt wouldn’t get a rise out of you. The Lady of Lightning was renowned for only showing such emotion when she was in danger. Yet Dan Feng could feel your shift in mood and it felt like the base of his skull was tingling at the feel of something electric in the air. A soft huff blew out of your nose, soft wisps of steam stemming around your lips as the golden scales on your tail glinted under warm rays of sunlight. You moved your next piece without hesitation and captured the rook that had felled your knight. You were even again. Intrigued by the sudden shift in mood, Dan Feng leaned forward in his seat, doing a quick assessment of the board. 

"Careful, little dragon, four more moves and I’ll capture your queen" he taunted. 

You rolled your eyes at his declaration. "Let’s see if you can even last that long."

You were quick to move again after Dan Feng moved his piece, capturing another enemy on the board as you tossed the piece with the rest of your growing pile of victims. Three moves left. The sudden spike of your mood was still captivating to Dan Feng as he continued to test the waters, hoping to coax more of the real issue out of you as he carefully moved his next piece across the board, slowly setting it up in his favour. Perhaps he could taunt you again, partly for his own amusement and hoping to press you for more information. 

"Where was all this fire earlier when I took both of your rooks?"

That memory still made you feel a little salty. He had taken both pieces so early in the game and it left a sour aftertaste in your mouth when you thought back on it. You didn’t offer up any words, another puff of steam spilling from your lips as your disdain was now palpable. A common trait that he shared with you. Despite not being an actual, fire breathing dragon, when he felt his blood start to boil it manifested itself in hot air escaping his lungs with such force it was like there really was a fire burning in his mouth. Strong ties to Loong’s ancestors could be a blessing or a curse. 

The fur on your tail continued to puff up from the static coursing in your veins yet you were so focused on your game now that you didn’t seem to notice just how much your emotions were running out of check. You were taught to be dignified and graceful in everything you did, lessons that were burned into the back of your skull seeming to dissipate in an instant the moment you got angry. You moved another chess piece, now aiming to take down Dan Feng’s own queen before he got the chance to take yours. But could you do it with such limited moves? Two moves remained. 

Dan Feng already knew what you were trying to attempt but he pretended that he didn’t. Another puzzle piece slotted into place as he moved his next piece across the board, his bishop appearing from the cornering of your eyes and suddenly putting your king in check. Your brow furrowed in confusion. Wasn’t he after your queen? Had he been lying to you this whole time? 

"Check" Dan Feng called. 

You were forced to move your king to a safer spot, out of danger. One move remained. That sweet scent that had been distracting Dan Feng earlier didn’t taste as sweet on the back of his tongue anymore. It had soured and curdled now, much like your mood had. Dan Feng moved his next piece, his rapt attention on you now to gauge your reaction. Your eyes seemed to have lost focus once more and you were distracted, fingers fiddling with one of the already discarded pieces from the board. You didn’t seem to notice what he was planning as he put your king in check yet again, his voice echoing in your ears as he called:

"Check."

Your king was further away from your queen than you would have liked. They had been close together almost all the game yet now they were being pried apart. You observed the board again, the light flickering in your eyes when you noticed you could block the piece that was threatening your king with one of your other pieces. Without hesitation, you took that option. Only for you to realise that by moving that piece, you now left your queen wide open, to be taken by his own queen. Zero moves remaining. And just like he had promised, your queen was taken, knocked down by his own as the fallen piece lay defeated on the board. You sat in shocked silence for a moment, letting the past couple of minutes catch up to you as the blood boiling in your veins was reduced to a mere simmer. Your sullen mood was suddenly lifted and you graciously accept your defeat. You picked up your queen, cradling the piece in the palm of your hand as you offered it up to Dan Feng. 

"You were right" you said, a soft smile tilting your lips.

You expected Dan Feng to take the piece from your grasp. What you didn’t expect, however, was for him to reach over the table and take your hand in his own. Your eyes went wide with surprise as you swallowed down the sharp gasp that tried to crawl out of your parched throat. His long nails lightly scratched your skin as he held your dainty hand in his warm palm, his fingers pressed into your wrist as your pulse fluttered beneath the smooth pads of his fingertips. A look of concern flashed across his face and he squeezed your hand.

"What’s wrong?"

You couldn’t take it anymore. You abruptly stand from the table. The sudden motion made Dan Feng’s grip slip as the queen piece you had been holding tipped from your grip and clattered to the board with a loud bang. The chair you had been sitting on was toppled over by the bulk of your tail as it swished from the side before huddling closer to your legs, much like a dog would tuck its own tail between its legs. Your breathing came out in short rasps, eyes wide like a startled deer as the muscles in your body coiled and you were ready to bolt. Before Dan Feng could question your sudden behaviour, you were rushing with an apology, chin tucked to your chest as you bowed.

"I must leave. There’s something I must do. Apologies for the sudden departure" you said, stumbling over your words.

It was a poor excuse. But Dan Feng did not argue against it. Not when you refused to look at him. With a soft sigh and an air of grace he stood from his own chair. The fallen leaves crunched under his feet as he stood tall, arms folded behind his back. But he did not approach. There was a little voice in the back of his head telling him that pursuing you would not be a wise choice. Not right now. You had obviously reached your limits of his prodding for today.

"Shall I escort you out?" Dan Feng offered.

It was wishful thinking and he wasn’t disappointed when that vague hope was scattered to the wind. You shook your head, still refusing to look him in the eye. Dan Feng waved a hand in the air as he dismissed you. 

"You may go. Join me next week, if you can."

You pulled your bottom lip between the pinch of your teeth and simply nodded in response. You hesitated for a brief second, as if you were considering saying something more but you decided against it. Without another word, you left the garden in a hurry, leaving Dan Feng alone with his thoughts. His gaze fell back to the chess board, the pieces fallen and scattered from your abrupt departure. He trailed his fingers over the fallen queen, the last piece he had taken. With a soft sigh he moved to retrieve his discarded gloves, pulling them back on. You had slipped through his fingers. Again. 

You didn’t want to send the room into flames, maybe just use it to scare them to let you go. Someone else walked into the room, a gentleman with auburn hair and red glasses. You felt like you’ve met him before, but maybe that was back on the Express.

“Calm down we’re not here to hurt you.” The one with auburn hair spoke as he raised his hands up, taking a step toward you

“He’s right. You were hurt, Gambit saw your signal so we went to find out who did it.” The one with crimson eyes spoke

You set the lance down, moving so you didn’t lean against the wall, but still keeping your distance from them.

“Are you alright?” The one with blue fur asked

“I- I think so. I don’t know where I am. Who are you? What do you want?”

“Calm down kid we’re not here to hurt you.” The one with wild unkept hair spoke

“We’re the X-Men. Sort of a ragtag team of heroes you could say. Names Gambit.” The one with red and black eyes spoke, taking a step forward

“I’m Beast and these two are Morph and Logan.” The one with blue fur added

“I’m Cyclops. Guess you could say I’m the leader here too.”

You looked between each person, your eyes still entranced on the red and black eyed man in front of you. You stood up, puffing your chest out a little, as a way to show your strength and resolve.

“Got a name there kid?” Logan asked

You brought a hand up to the side of your head, closing your eyes to think about what your name actually was.

“Trailblazer.”

Your mind spoke that name to you, as if that would be the only answer there could ever be. You remember being called that quite a lot, almost never called anything else, at least from what you could remember. You barely even remember the Astral Express, but that was okay. You were sure they’d come back for you sooner or later.

“My names Trailblazer. Just call me that.”

Every man in the room looked at each other, Gambit and Cyclops shrugging their shoulders only to look back at you.

“Mind if we call you Blaze? As like a nickname?” Gambit asked

You only nodded, feeling a sense of dignity and pride in your name. Your name was your job, who you were. You were a Trailblazer, someone who visited each world and went to tame Stellarons. Maybe there was one here too.

“Well Blaze, welcome to the X-Men. Mind if I ask you a couple of questions?” Beast asked

Everyone else left the room, leaving you to sit on the edge of the bed as Beast sat on a chair in front of you. He held some sort of clipboard in his hand, writing something down.

“Alright Blaze. I’m going to ask a couple of questions, so please answer as best as you can.”

You nodded, remaining quiet as you let your legs swing back and forth while your hands remained in your lap.

“What is your mutant ability?”

“Mutant… ability?”

“Yes… that’s what you are right?”

“What’s a mutant?”

Beast sighed, pulling out what looked like a phone. He held it up to his ear, as if calling for someone. A few minutes later, Cyclops came in with a red head woman, both standing next to Beast as he wrote something down.

“Is it okay if I read your mind real quick Blaze?” The woman asked

You looked at all three of them, your eyes wide with fear.

“It’s alright. I promise I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to see if you know what type of mutant you are.”

“Be careful Jean. She’s scared.” Cyclops replied

“I know Scott.”

She took her time walking up to you, eyeing the spot next to you where she could sit. You let her, as her hands came to grab each of yours, feeling the warmth of her body. She had her eyes closed, seeming to be in thought.

“I see… some sort of train car. I see the stars, a planet not that far from the window. It’s as if the train was driving in space. There’s nobody here, there’s some sort of music playing.”

You were seeing the same thing inside your own mind as you and Jean explored the memories inside your head, her hand holding onto yours to keep you close as you both swam through each memory.

“Do you remember anything else Blaze?” She asked with her mind

“N-No. I’m afraid I don’t. Wait…”

A phone slowly emerged from one of your pockets, as if showing itself to you. You reached out for it, grabbing it as you held onto the woman named Jean with the other. You turned it on, scrolling through to find anything. Nothing, except a number that said “Pom-Pom” and an empty message app. Not a single thing, just a photo in your photo apps, everything gone aside from that one thing.

“What does it look like?” Jean asked

You opened the app, noticing the picture was you and a few different people in the photo. One with red hair, one with glasses, one with pink hair, and the last whose face and hair was crossed out as if you had forgotten this person. The little creature that looked like a rabbit was being held in the person with pink hair arms, both smiling for the camera. Even you, who couldn’t remember these people, were smiling in the photo.

“You don’t remember… do you?”

Your eyes opened and you were back in the room, still sitting on the bed as Jean rubbed her temples.

“Jean are you alright?” Cyclops asked

“I’m fine. As for Blaze…”

There was silence, you waited for Jean to speak. You held your head down low in shame.

“She doesn’t remember anything… nothing. Just a photo. That’s all she has.”

Jean made a photo appear in your hands, the same photo on the phone you had. An exact copy, not one detail different.

“I’ll keep it to see if I can run facial recognition.”

You only nodded at Beast’s words, getting up to walk to the door. Cyclops grabbed your wrist as soon as you passed him.

“Where are you going?”

You didn’t have an answer. The Express? How could you get there? Call the people in the photo? You didn’t even remember their numbers or names.

“Please… I just want to be alone for a little while.”

You could see pity in Cyclops’ eyes through the glasses, he felt bad along with Jean and Beast.

“Alright. Jubilee is outside, she’ll show you to a room where you can stay as long as you need.”

You stayed silent as you walked out the door, noticing a girl with dark hair and earrings looking at you with a smile.

“Heya Blaze! I’m Jubilee!”

“Hello.”

“Come on Scott says you’ll be staying here as long as you want.”

“Scott?”

You followed Jubilee as she walked down the hall, walking a good ways down until she reached an empty room.

“Yeah. That’s Cyclops’ real name. We each have one. It’s not like we can run around in public with our real names. Someone could look for our families or friends.”

“So like a secret identity?”

“Yeah! It’s like how your name is Trailblazer. That can’t be your real name right?”

You didn’t say anything, just walking silently behind as Jubilee opened the door for you.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I’m sure you’ll remember one day.”

“Thank you Jubilee. Tell Scott and Jean I said thank you.”

“I will Blaze. Have a nice nap. I’ll make sure the rest of the team doesn’t disturb you. If you need someone, I’m sure someone will be in the mansion at any time.”

You nodded as you went to lay on the bed. The room was small, just a couple of drawers, a bathroom attached, a table next to you, and your bed. There wasn’t much in the room, but that was fine. At least your window was big enough for you to lean up and open them if you wanted to. As soon as you closed your eyes to think and nap, a knock was heard on your door.

“Come in.” You answered

In walked the man known as Gambit. His eyes falling onto you and a smile on his face.

“Gambit wanted to see who his little neighbor was gonna be.”

“Hm?”

“I stay in the room next to yours cherie.” He said pointing with his thumb to the room to your right

“Ah.”

You sat up, looking down at the floor as your hands remained on the bed next to your side.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just confused.”

“About?”

Gambit looked to the drawers in the room, going to lean against them since there wasn’t any space to sit and for you comfortability, decided to not sit on the bed.

“It’s hard to explain. I feel like-“

“You don’t belong?”

“Yeah. Like that.”

“Trust me Cherie, every X-Man here feels the same way. It just comes with being a mutant I guess.”

“You all keep saying that. What’s a mutant?”

“What’s a mutant? People like us. That’s what we are.”

“But I’m not a mutant… I just use weapons like a normal person.”

“Normal? Gambit saw you with that fiery blade of yours. As soon as you woke up you summoned it, so tell me how that’s not a mutant ability.”

“Would it make you feel better if I said I was from space? No? Well I don’t think you’d believe that so just know, I’m not a mutant as you like to think I am.”

Gambits eyes went huge. Space was pretty generic, plus he’d find it pretty hard to understand the concept of an Astral Express, specifically coming from you.

“Space? Now that’s a new one. What’d you do to get here then?”

“I don’t remember.”

You showed him the picture you snagged back from Beast. Gambits eyes went to the photo, seeing your sad eyes as you tried really hard to recall who you were and where you came from. You sighed, placing the photo on the table next to the bed, feeling sadness take control as you started to cry. They were small tears, but you felt sad about not being to remember anything about yourself.

“Hey. It’s okay Blaze. Don’t worry about da times you can’t remember. Gambits sure they’ll come back one day.”

“Thanks Gambit.”

“Don’t thank me my friend. Just making sure your time here is comfortable.”

A few hours later…

Your dreams tonight were something only demons would love. You couldn’t sleep, a feeling of dread racking your body as you laid restlessly under the blankets. You sat up, breathing hard as you tried to recall something you couldn’t even explain. You let your head fall back on the pillow, looking out the window as you tried so hard to sleep. The dreams were violent, you saw buildings burning around you as a sort of Draconic creature swirled in the air in front of it. The whole being was made of flames, its eyes a dark fiery crimson stared at you in hunger. It didn’t even touch you and you already felt like your body might turn to ash. Is this something to do with what you can remember?

“You cannot escape us child.”

The voice was deep, pounding around in your skull like a jackhammer as the dragon like creature raised its head and showed its teeth. In your right hand you held some sort of spear, a dark emerald color while your other held the ability of a burning fire, a small blue flame unlike the massive orange and red flames around you. You stood alone, nobody there by your side as flames consumed everything, almost swallowing you whole as well.

“We will find you, and you shall be our pawn.”

The dragon flew at you, making you close your eyes as you dropped the spear and felt the heat get closer and closer.

It had been two weeks since you had seen Dan Feng. The last thing you remember was fleeing his garden in such a hurry you almost tripped over your own feet. You felt awful for the way you had abruptly departed, the memories replaying over and over in your head, taunting you into the late hours of the evening. It made you feel sick. You had been on the cusp of telling Dan Feng what was wrong, it was your intention on that day to spill everything. But you got scared. You were terrified to take a risk out of fear of his rejection. And so, for the past two weeks you hid like a coward and hoped to weather this unrelenting storm by yourself. Like you had always done, like the elders of your clan told you to do. It was just simpler to take your medicine, to suppress your natural urges, no matter how much it would cause you to suffer in the end, and not be a burden to others. Act like you were expected to act, the way you were taught and conditioned. And like the dumb, little girl that still craved the love and attention from neglectful parents, you obliged hoping to gain even a shred of approval.

You have been miserable without Dan Feng’s company. You refused to go see him. You were forbidden to leave. You sulked around your quarters and your estate. Your thoughts were a mess. Your emotions weren’t faring any better either. The maids and servants of the estate were ordered to stay out of your way but to remain vigilant and keep an eye on you. Not by your words. Your clan's elders. Every time you thought of them you could taste something horrible and acidic on the back of your tongue. You were moody. Your stomach hurt. Your feet ached. You were uncomfortable in your regular attire, the fabric sticking awkwardly to your skin as your back dotted with beads of sweat. You turned your nose up in the air at the sticky grossness. You tried to tend to the flowers in your garden, hoping the sweet scent of perfume would help clear your head and keep you occupied. It didn’t work. The smell you usually loved made you feel nauseous and burned every time you took a ragged breath. 

It was only midday, but you were about to pack it in for the day. You had been getting terrible sleep at night anyway and you had resorted to napping during the day to make up for it. You couldn’t tell if the rumble in your stomach was because you hadn’t eaten or because the thought of food was too taxing. You stood from your kneeling position next to your flower bed, brushing off the dirt from your robes as your hair softly fluttered in the breeze. The cool wind was a small comfort against your heated, golden scales, your tail swishing elegantly from side to side as the fur fluffed up in the breeze. The soft, silk shawl wrapped around your shoulders slipped when you fussed and you coiled it tighter around your neck so you wouldn't lose it. It was a gift, from Dan Feng. He had presented it to you only a few moons ago, wrapping the fine silk around your shoulders to warm you from the chill, night air. You had graciously accepted, the commodity of receiving a heartfelt gift a rare occasion that brightened your smile. Every time you pinched the fabric between the tips of your fingers and pressed it to your nose, you could still smell him. The scent was soothing and it was the only thing keeping you sane, even though it inevitably reminded you of what happened. 

You shook your head to dispel the thoughts before they could consume you again. A sigh escaped your lips as you gathered your gardening tools and you were intent on putting them away. Until you heard someone saying your name and you almost dropped the bucket you had been carrying.

Your eyes widened in surprise and you whipped your head to the source of the voice, your jaw dropping sharply when you spotted who was waving at you from the fence line. Bright eyes of golden honey peeked up at you from a wild mane of snow-white hair, accompanied by a wide grin and a wave of a hand. 

"Jing Yuan" you said. "What are you-?"

The tone of your voice dropped into a hushed whisper as you quickly looked around, making sure that no one had stumbled upon you yet as the young Jing Yuan clambered over the fence. You pressed your finger to your lips when the sound of his shoes hitting the gravel grated against your ears. He noticed the panicked look on your face and stopped in his tracks, hands raised in the air as a sign of peace. When you were sure the coast was clear, you quickly rushed over to him, a concerned look in your eyes as you examined the boy from head to toe. The fur on your tail bristled from your uninvited guest. The elders didn’t like unexpected visitors to the complex and you didn’t know if they would make an expectation for one of Jingliu's students. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your tone rushed with a hushed, sharp rasp.

Jing Yuan gave you a beaming smile, his innocence radiating off of his kind face as he looked up at you with big eyes. 

"I came to see you" he replied. "We haven’t played in ages. Are you sick?"

You sighed softly, taking a deep breath to compose yourself. You had to remind yourself that Jing Yuan was still just a kid. A cloud knight cadet but still just a kid. Of course he wouldn’t understand why he hadn’t seen you for the past two weeks. You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips as he continued to chirp like an excited bird. You could have sworn that he got a little bit taller since the last time you saw him but that may just have been your imagination. You were fond of little Jing Yuan but that didn’t excuse that he was an uninvited visitor. He was breaking the rules by being here and you tried to explain it to him as gently as possible. You stepped towards him, hands coming to rest on his shoulders as he peered up at you beneath the flutter of his pale lashes. No, it wasn’t your imagination. He was a little taller.

"Listen, Jing Yuan, while I appreciate your visit, you’re not supposed to be here" you spoke carefully, your voice soft and full of warmth.

A small pout tugged on Jing Yuan’s lips. "Eh? Why not?"

"The elders do not like it when visitors show up unannounced" you explained, telling a partial truth. 

Jing Yuan’s brow furrowed. "That’s lame. This is your house. You should be able to have over whoever you want."

You couldn’t help but giggle at his response. You wish you could see things through his eyes with such rose-tinted glasses. He was unaware of the complex world adults had to live in and it would be a futile attempt to try and explain why things were this way. Because you anticipated a rebuttal with every statement you made. 

"Are you sick?" Jing Yuan asked again. 

Another long sigh breezed past your lips as your smile fell. You tried to fix it back into place, but it slipped shortly after when you responded to him. 

"Yes and no. It's complicated little Yuan" you replied, again, telling a partial truth.

Jing Yuan’s frown only deepened. You knew that your complexion was sickly, heavy bags under your eyes and the collar of your robes tugged high over your neck that it threatened to creep over your jawline. You looked wrapped up and ready for bed, your tail hanging low and the usual shimmer of your horns dulled under the sunlight. Jing Yuan looked thoughtful for a moment as he reached up and grabbed your hands slowly, carefully gauging your reaction. You blinked owlishly at your intertwined hands, head tilted to the side curiously. A smile lit up his features and he started to tug you in the direction of the back gate. 

"Come on, let’s go for a walk."

Your brow furrowed in confusion, yet you weren’t resisting his pull as you quietly trudged behind him. 

"Why?" you questioned. 

"Because a walk is good for your health!" Jing Yuan exclaimed before you hurriedly shushed him for raising his voice.

He apologised before continuing in a quieter tone. "Master Jingliu always tells me to "walk it off" when I’m not feeling good. So, we should walk it off too. I promise, it’ll make you feel better."

When you had both reached the gate, you finally stopped in your tracks. You paused to think about what you were going to do next. Was this really the right thing to do? Being cooped up in your house wasn’t doing you any favours, but you didn’t want to go against your elder’s words. You teetered on a decision, reminding you of how you flickered between a decision back in Dan Feng’s garden. You could still feel the balmy breeze from that day and the look in his eyes when you told him you were leaving. It tugged at your heart strings. Just as Jing Yuan was tugging at your sleeves now, looking up at you with such a kind face that you couldn’t say no to. Maybe this was your hazy addled brain thinking or perhaps it was finally your breaking point of having other people telling you what to do and planning out your life for you. Whatever it was, this was the second time you would be going against your elder’s wishes and the taste that lingered in your throat as you happily followed along after Jing Yuan tasted sweet. 

Only for it to turn into bitter, rotten fruit when you found out where your destination was. You didn’t pay enough attention as Jing Yuan trotted alongside you, chatting away as you walked side by side. You were too engrossed in all the stories he had to tell you since he last saw you. He talked of the train Jingliu had been putting him through. He talked about what new masterpieces Yingxing had crafted in the forge. He regaled you with tales of the mischief he and Beiheng got into. And lastly, he informed you of Dan Feng and how he seemed like he had more of a stick up his arse than usual. Jing Yuan’s words, not yours. Though you reprimanded him for his use of language, his words made you concerned. But before you could ask for any further clarification, it seemed you had arrived at where Jing Yuan had been leading you. 

A big smile stretched his lips as he waved to the figure standing at the water’s edge, seam foam licking at the edges of his boots as he turned to greet you both. Your stomach dropped so far you thought it was going to shrivel up and die when you realised who it was.

“Hey, ca c'est bon.”

Gulping down a full one, you looked around the room, every pair of eyes on you like you were someone foreign that they needed to study.

“What? Is something wrong with my face?”

Morph, Rogue, Jubilee, and Cyclops started laughing.

“We’re glad to have you Blaze.” Jean added as she walked up and put a hand on your shoulder

You turned to look behind you, catching the glance of Jean’s blueish eyes staring at you. One second you were in the kitchen… and now you sat at an empty table somewhere on the Express. About five feet away stood a different red haired woman, in a long dress that went down to the ground. Her eyes… you felt like you recognized those eyes.

“I know you…”

And you were back in a second, putting a hand to your head to stop the spinning that you could feel inside your body. Immediately, Scott and Jean held you up from slumping onto the table.

“Blaze? Blaze!” You heard Scott say as your eyes closed a little

“Blaze wake up. Come on I know you’re in there.” Jeans voice spoke inside your head

You opened your eyes, slowly sitting straight as you shook your head and felt the feeling of spinning go away. You blinked a few times, back in the kitchen with your plate still in front of you.

“You okay?” Jean asked

“Yeah… just peachy. Augh that hurt more than last nights.”

Your eyes opened wide, rendering yourself fully awake. You hadn’t realized you said that out loud after a few seconds until Rogue gave you a puzzling glance.

“I mean I’m fine. Just a bad dream. That’s all it is.” You added

“Are you sure?” Scott asked

“Mhm. I need a second outside.” You answered

You stood up, a hand still at the side of your head as you took a few steps outside the door, feeling the sun on your face as you let go of your head and letting your arm fall, closing your eyes as you stood in the sun and felt the light breeze around you. It was quiet, the silence calming you as you started to feel a little better.

“You okay there Blaze?” You heard Rogue’s voice say next to you

“Yeah… I think so. Just a bad dream I had last night.”

There was silence between you two, deciding to sit down on the grass where the two of you could oversee the woods from yesterday.

“I know what it’s like to hurt yourself… with your own powers. Mine relies on touch… so I can’t touch anyone unless I have the gloves on.”

“I just want to remember what I was before I came here. Where are my friends? Do I have a family?”

You looked up, your vision aimed at the sun. Your eyes became clearer, seeing and feeling the sun on your face as the feeling of warmth slowly came back to you. The sun felt… safe.

“I wish I could help you Blaze. It’s a shame, I know. If I was you, I’d do anythin I could to get home as well. Granted, I’m sure you will one day soon. Maybe for now you need to focus on yourself and slowly take time to get familiar with yourself.”

You could only nod at Rogues words, feeling the weight of your situation setting in. You were stuck… stuck in a place you had no idea about.

“I’ll let everyone know you’re-“

“No no. I’m okay. I just needed some air.” You said standing

Rogue stood up as well, following behind you as you walked back inside. Gambit, or Remy as you’ve learned so far, leaned up from his spot against the wall.

“I got it from ‘ere Rouge. Good ole Cyclops said maybe we should do a training exercise in the Training Room.”

“Is that wise? She just got here and it’s barely even been 24 hours. How sure are you that she’ll even live through one drill.”

“I have faith in ‘er. She can do this. Even Cyclops and Jean agree.”

Rogue sighed, turning to look at you as she stood by your side. She then looked to Gambit, walking past him as you felt more eyes stare at you. You turned your head, staring into Gambit’s crimson-black eyes, his eyes seeming to stare into yours, a sign he was looking for something in them, anything.

“Come on cher. Let’s get you there.”

Most of the walk consisted of you walking behind Gambit, staring at the walls and ceiling around you.

“Ain’t much to look at eh?”

“Hm?”

“There’s not much to look at inside this mansion, unless you’re big blue furry man down the hall. Ain’t much here.”

You followed Gambit down some stairs, walking into a steel hallway with different doors around you both. He walked up to one, putting in some sort of code in what looked like a lock pad. Huh… that felt familiar to you.

“Oh come on Fille there ain’t anyone here.”

You looked at him up and down, trying to understand what he just said to you. His words didn’t sound normal every now and then. Gambit just grabbed your hand and pulled you in with him, your eyes quickly spotting Logan, Scott, Jean, Jubilee, and Storm.

“Good to see you’re alright Blaze. Do you know what this room is for?” Scott asked

You shook your head no. You felt anxious, your hands feeling shaky in this large metal room with only one way out, the way you came in.

“This is how we train. Don’t worry, Jean and I have something easy planned for you.”

“Alright! Come on Blaze over here!” Jubilee shouted as a fully destroyed city was built in seconds

You run, sprinting as fast as you can just before diving behind Jubilee and a mini wall, both of you sitting there.

“Alright Blaze it’s yo time to shine!” Gambit shouted

Jubilee pushed you, making you roll into an open area where a giant mechanical robot stood tall above you.

“Oh crap!” You shouted as it fired beams from its eyes, making you run around while your teammates hid

“This isn’t helping!” You shouted as you jumped on top of a train on its side, slightly broken as if it had seen war

“Storm!” Scott shouted, stretching out her name as a sort of warning

“Blaze! I can’t see you!” Jean shouted as you ran through the fire and smoke slowly clouding your vision

You ran, jumping over flaming objects and dodging the beams being shot at you. Why did it seem like you were getting targeted?

“Why are you running? You are stronger than it, so fight back.”

Your brain clicked off for a second, feeling your body turn as you closed your eyes, feeling your legs sprint for their life. As you opened your eyes, you noticed you were running up the robots long arms, about to cross the threshold of its made-up elbow. Ferocity filed your veins, a burning desire to fight back and destroy anything in your path was what drove you now. You jumped high into the air, feeling lighter than the air itself. Your veins burned as your fingers grew talon-like nails, the spark of a flame burning around your first as you struck the robot where its heart would’ve been. It wasn’t just the will to fight back… it was the desire to kill and destroy.

“Rise hidden-sun… world condemning dragon!”

An echo was heard around you, booming off the robot itself and the half destroyed buildings as well. Wind kicked up around you, feeling every single ember, grain of dirt, and metal part hit you like how a meteor strikes a planet. Your strength felt amplified by a thousand percent, the single strike you made tearing apart the robot and reducing it to pieces on the ground. You barely had time to register what had happened as your body felt weak, falling to the ground from the air, landing into something much like steel. The strength was gone in a matter of seconds after the hit, now you were reduced limp trapped under tons of metal and cement.

Meanwhile…

Gambit pov

“Shit! Jean! You and I will go restart the program! Jubilee get out of here in case it gets worse! Logan, you and Gambit look for her! Storm see if you can calm the fire in any way!”

Scott took off, Jean flying right over him and through the metal door and off to the side of the frame, Jubilee going through in a rush to look for someone to get Blaze out while good ole Wolverine helped me scale the destruction.

“Crap. I can’t smell anything except ash and burning steel.”

“Come on Logan we can’t give up now. She needs help, and that’s what we X-Men do.”

Logan only sighed at my response, quickly scaling up the overturned buses as I went diving through windows to find her. The smell of ash and melted rubble filled my nose. Wherever she was, Blaze had destroyed every single thing around her. Heck I didn’t even get to see what she did. All I saw was the flame rise, the Sentinel burning from top to bottom as Blaze came falling from midair.

“Blaze!” I shouted through the rubble

Nothing. I hated that silence. Surely she couldn’t die that easy right? She survived a damn fire once before so surely she could do it again.

“Come on, come on Blaze where are ya?”

Through the smoke, I saw the crumpled form of a young woman, long grey hair covered in ash and slightly burned at the ends. Her form was motionless, trapped underneath iron pillars about a hundred times bigger than her. I couldn’t even see her breathing…

“Blaze!” I yelled as I ran up and over pillars and broken down walls

She was silent as I stopped by her side, pushing two fingers against her neck right below the jawline, feeling a faint pulse.

“Don’t you dare fucking die on me now Blaze!”

I quickly tried to pull her out from under the rubble, to no avail. I had two options, go find help and hope I found her in time or I wait this out and try to get her out myself.

“Fuck it. I have to-“

Blaze started to stand up, pushing off the rubble like it was mere paper, stopping as she used her hands to prevent herself from falling forward while she was on her hands and knees. She shook her head, long silver hair flowing as she came back from being unconscious.

“Gambit? That you?” She asked as she pushed off the rubble easily

“Yeah. It’s me. Scared me there for a second Blaze.”

“Oh. Did the thing go away?”

“It’s done. Let’s get ya out of ‘ere.”

She walked slowly up to, slowly climbing behind me as we scaled a large overturned bus. I could hear her behind me, faintly, but managing to keep up with my pace.

“Gambit! Blaze!” I heard ahead of me

Logan came rushing, Cyclops and Beast right behind him. It took a couple of seconds, but Logan was right next to Blaze and be a crutch for her. I could see the faint color in her eyes, but she was still hanging on.

“Sweet god how did she survive that?” Logan asked

“Don’t know. Was that a fluke Scott?” Jean asked

“No! I made it so it would stand still and just move a little!”

“Well CLEARLY it decided to otherwise.” I answered

“Enough. We have to get her to the lab.” Beast spoke up

We all walked down the hall, Scott walking behind us all as he closed the massive door to the room. He looked around in hesitation, something the great leader of the X-Men never does.

Some time later…

You sit at the table, holding some ice against your skull. Whatever you did, it hurt like all hell. Heaven forbid you even do it again, maybe that’ll hurt more than this one.

“Gee that looks awful. Do you need anything Blaze? I’ll get you whatever you need.”

Rouge’s kindness could be felt somewhere inside your heart. Although… did you have a heart? You felt lost, abandoned, forgotten, hell maybe even empty. It felt like something was missing from you… but you couldn’t remember what or why. Is this why couldn’t you feel anything from anyone else?

“Oh I’m okay Rogue. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’ll be okay in a little while.”

“Oh hey Rogue how’s the rookie?” You heard behind you as you turned in your seat

“Easy Remy. She’s had a rough couple of days. Scott doesn’t wanna strain her body and mind.”

“Gambit wasn’t gonna do that to the poor girl. Was just wonderin’ how she was feeling.”

Rogue sighed and crossed her arms, leaning against the table by your side as you both stared at Gambit.

“It’s da’ truth!”

Rogue took a few steps, pushing Remy out of your way as she ushered you forward go to bed and rest. Reluctantly, you decided to go up to bed. Would you even fall asleep tonight? Would those nightmares leave you alone at all?

“Maybe it can’t be helped…”

To be continued…