#vid gam

Y'all remember when "Number of onscreen enemies" was purportedly a measure of a game's quality, according to E3 marketing folks? What a surreal measure to highlight in marketing... Like you can fit more enemies if you make them shitty. It's a measure of how shitty your individual enemies are, relative to the hardware they run on.

1:   Do you try to stay away from walkthroughs?

i try to stay away from walkthroughs until i give up completely which normally takes about 15 mins

2:   Company you're always loyal to?

i’m not really loyal to any company actually, i suppose i’m loyal to valve? but that could change real fast if they continue not revealing anything about source 2

3:   Best game you've ever played?

aaaaah never have a concrete answer for this but its currently either xenoblade chronicles or portal 2, i’m getting closer to playing witcher 3 and that will probably overtake

4:   Worst game you've ever played?

imagine a walking sim about game development but so unbelievably unforgivably pretentious and whingey and then times it by six and you have about one percent of The Beginner’s Guide, created by Stanley Parable co-creator Davey Wreden. jesus christ. the beginner’s fucking guide pisses me off so much. it’s got some really clever moments, but it also has some of the worst, most ham-handed woe is me writing about a tortured artist indie game dev who clearly hates the concept of video games being a business and video games in general. and then Davey manages to flip the whole thing on HIMSELF and turns it into a big pity party about him. instead of playing this, i’d recommend playing William Pugh (the other co-creator of the Stanley Parable)’s Dr Langeskov, the Tiger and the Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist instead. it’s free as opposed to The Beginner’s Guide, has really good and clever writing as opposed to the Beginner’s Guide, and is just in general better than the beginner’s fucking guide fuck fuck this game

also FleetCOMM, but that’s not a finished game anyways

5:   A popular series/game you just can't get into no matter how much you try?

i cannot get into mobas. i dont want to spend twenty hours learning the shit and then spend fifty minutes being told to kill myself

6:   A game that's changed you the most?

bioshock and the entire zero escape series have probably changed my entire life. nier did this recently as well

7:   A game you'll never forget?

THUMPER. it’s ridiculously intense and it has some of the sickest visuals i have seen in a piece of media

8:   Best soundtrack?

Xenoblade Chronicles, Nier, Jet Set Radio Future, virtually any persona game

9:   A game you turn your volume off every time you play it? i can’t actually think of a game i play with a terrible soundtrack, apart from fleetcomm 10:   A game you've completely given up on? i’m never going to finish MGSV as long as i live. i cant into stealth 11:   Hardest game you've played?

THUMPER new game + fuck you

12:   Shortest time you've beaten a game in?

beat portal 2 in under 2 hours once, also did a single segment run of mirror’s edge in around 2-3 hours? can’t remember

13:   A game you were the most excited for when it wasn't released yet?

firewatch never again

14:   A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting?

okami tbh

15:   Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover?

portal and half life they canonically take place in the same universe comeaaaaaahn

16:   Character you've hated most? From what game?

no strong answer here but tyrann from nier can go get fucked. and the skeletons in minecraft. fuck them. fucking bow and arrow 80% accuracy pieces of shit

17:   What game do you never tell people you play?

huniepop is the deepest, most challenging, most tactically-rich match three game in existence. in the late game it turns into a chess match against the game itself as you are constantly planning your moves many turns in advance

18:   A game you wish your friends knew about?

i wish more of my friends played warframe

19:   Which game do you think deserves a revival?

mother fucking jet set radio

20:   What was the first video game you ever played?

the first good video game that wasn’t a shitty movie game was Crash Bandicoot

21:   How old were you when you first played a video game? like maybe 5? or 6? 22:   If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do?

hdoom

23:   Biggest disappointment you've had in gaming?

firewatch i was interested in it from all the moments they hyped up the mystery aspect of it in press conferences and trailers. it had this sense of underlying menace that got me interested. the actual game had some truly amazing, almost cinematic moments of interactivity in the dialogue, and it was unbelievably pretty, but the entire last hour was not good. ”but you’re SUPPOSED to be disappointed! you were just assuming things because you were isolated! everything was fine in the end, there was no mystery! that’s called subverting the player’s expectations! such great writing!” no. great writing is not reintroducing and building sympathy for a character ten minutes before killing them off. and then it just kinda ended with the lowest-effort reveal that tied things up but in the most mundane way possible. henry and delilah were incredible, 3 dimensional characters, but that’s basically it. it felt like they got to the end of the game and were completely out of ideas

24:   Casual, Hardcore, or in the middle?

middle. hardcore people have no life and casual people mostly use facebook as their main social media outlet. both of those things sound awful

25:   Be honest; have you ever used cheats (like ActionReplay or Gameshark)?

no

26:   Handheld or console?

handheld and pc. i have a PS4 now though and since i’m moving away from home i’m gonna spend a lot more time on it

27:   Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry?

the after-credits ending of the Last Guardian

28:   Which character's clothes do you wish you owned the most?

to be fair my dude i have no idea

29:   Which is more important, gameplay or story?

both, fool

30:   A game that hasn't been localized in your country that you think should be localized?