#victorybird

send me a topic to write a meta on / accepting!

losing her arm is something that she eventually comes to terms with and accepts, though the first few months are brutal and it takes a few years for her to not feel self-conscious or uncomfortable about it. 

she’s never felt comfortable with the anchor, so there’s an immediate strange sense of relief. it’s always felt alien to her and like something harboring in her body. sidri’s always loathed it and feared it and, in turn, there is a bittersweet joy to losing her arm. 

she prides herself on being self-sufficient and so the first few months of adjusting including a lot of angry tears and frustration when she struggles with simple tasks, like writing or dressing herself. she hates asking for help and struggles longer than she needs to regarding this, but with time her pride eases enough to allow her to ask for help. 

she’s very fortunate in that she has the opportunity to lead a life that doesn’t involve combat or needing to fight following trespasser, though sidri does miss training and being as active as she had been during the main timeline. she occasionally makes time to train, even if it is just light and easy and nowhere near as intense as prior, as a way to relax.  

“if you happen to come across our seeker, you should know that any dark glares or outright fury cast in your direction isn’t the result of anything you’ve done,” she advises politely, “your being is, ah, rather a sore point for her.” varric had all but disappeared after that announcement for a few days, which sidri thought a good idea given that the likelihood of cassandra attempting to murder him was high enough that she’d place money on it herself. 

sidri smiles then, more gently, and continues, “but we are grateful to have you here, hawke, even if cassandra glowers. i’m grateful to have you here.” 

i love u !! i hope you’re doing well !!

she almost doesn’t catch it, that little hum that’s nearly swallowed up by the wind dancing over the sands. it’s a soft melody, simple enough to be a child’s lullaby, but the occasional haunting note has her straining for more. sidri sits up in her tent and pulls her jacket over her shivering form, pulling the cloth back and stepping into the night. 

the others have all fallen asleep long ago, if the faint echoes of snores are any kind of marker, but hawke’s silhouette is outlined by the dying fire. sidri stands quietly and listens, closing her eyes and absorbing the song, and when it comes to a soft end she steps forward. 

“that’s beautiful,” she murmurs, “i don’t think we had it in ostwick, whatever the song was.”

hawke glances upwards and a distant smile appears. “i didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“i wasn’t sleeping,” sidri reassures her, “do you sing, hawke?”

“mostly when i’m drunk.”

sidri bites back a laugh at that and sits aside her, propping her elbows on her knees. “what’s the song called?”

“i don’t think it has a name,” hawke shrugs absently and kicks a charred log further into the fire with her boot, “if it has, i’ve forgotten it.” her features shift, grow sharper in the firelight. “my mother taught to me, to us, when we were children.”

“ah,” sidri states and purses her lips together, biting the inside of her mouth before glancing to her companion once more, “i am sorry, hawke, about your family.”

hawke waves a hand dismissively, though sidri notes that the gleaming cleverness hasn’t quite returned to her gaze just yet. “no need to apologize, it isn’t your fault.” 

opening her mouth to reply, sidri instead pauses. “i could teach you a song we used to sing in ostwick,” she attempts a faint smile, “it’s bland and nowhere near as pretty. it’s about frogs.” 

fenris has never done anything wrong in his entire life he is perfect and PRISTINE how dare you!!!!!

EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED STARTERS

       it disappointed her how she could have let herself fall into a state of such exhaustion and weary. she had hoped she had SEVERAL years before everything caught up to her and she would be enveloped by her work and nothing else. evee thought of little else the past few months, even keeping her up late into the hours. and now it showed clear as day.

( pssst! ty for asking and i love you so so much! )

evee’s life turned into a big OOF when her magic began to manifest, which was around the age of nine or ten. she was raised in an andraste devoted household, meaning the many of the men in her family were templars while the females were either sisters or somehow involved in some kind of service to the chantry. evee was meant to be brought up the same way but it all changed once she began to accidentally burn the things she touched. and her parents weren’t sure how to feel about it because of their views of mages previously.

both her parents, but especially her mother, hated the negative attention they received after news spread that their youngest child was a mage. and the whispers among the other nobles began to bother them so much that they attempted to just cut ties from evee after she had already been sent away, despite how often they told themselves and evee that they loved her and that nothing would change that.

evee didn’t believe that bullshit, so despite being a very happy child up to this point she held resentment towards her parents and closed herself off to any potential friends she could have made at the circle that first year. she never really made any friends until after the circle fell and she was forced to travel with some survivors.

send me a topic to write meta about my muse

hmmmm that’s actually a pretty good question! i think this could go many different ways because, well, people are a product of their environments and that could vastly change things. alistair especially is a product of many misaligned environments that do not treat him well (eamon & isolde, the chantry, until he finally fits into the wardens like some sort of missing jigsaw puzzle piece). knowing fiona in any capacity would really change that, i think.

in terms of where he’d end up, i think that’s... hard to say. much of fiona keeping her identity hidden to alistair is to protect him. it’s why duncan watches over him to an extent, too. i think he’d largely have better care knowing fiona was his mother, even if they weren’t in constant contact (i’d imagine they’d all have to keep it secretive -- alistair, duncan, fiona, lest the templars swooped in because technically alistair has magic in his blood). he’d be raised better, more happy. less feelings with self worth. more acceptance. i think he’d still want to be on the go always and would be enticed by duncan and the grey wardens, but to a lesser degree than in the standard universe. i’m sure he might also be partially tempted by the idea of joining the templars to try to change it from within (as fiona does from within the circle), but ultimately decides it isn’t for him. by and large, i believe alistair is eager to be on his feet and see change before him. he’s more a soldier than anything. he doesn’t want to wait for people to do things, he wants to be the one doing things. he wants to help people actively, wants to tear down darkspawn, wants to Be Good and sitting on his arse and hoping that revolution eventually happens isn’t the way to do that, in his eyes.

on the other hand, i think alistair would largely be more connected with his culture? well, as much as one would be given that fiona is a city elf. but i’m sure he would try to delve into that. try to connect with the dalish, provided they would allow him and weren’t exclusionary (unlikely, but a man can try!). be extra mad about the way the elves are treated. wonder how it’s so normalized. i think he’d be an angrier person somewhat. you’ve seen how angry and dedicated he gets about the wardens dying, i’m certain he would bring that kind of anger when witnessing widespread oppression of his people as well.