Title: FFXIV Write 2022 - 24. Vicissitudes
Characters: Zoissette Vauban
Rating: Teen
Summary: When the winds of change come, what changes? The woman or the weather?
Notes: None
She remembered the first time she had to change.
She had been a child at the time. Strong and smart and fast and clever. She read books and climbed buildings, she studied the world from behind clever eyes, missing never a detail. She went where she pleased and did what she wanted, to the consternation of her mother, her father, her brother. But she was a child, and what were they to do? They fed her books to keep her still, and gave her chores to keep her occupied, but still she wriggled free, and spent many a day as she pleased.
But then she wasn't the youngest child anymore.
The twins were born, and her mother impressed upon her that the needs of the house would be expanding to accommodate them, and her responsibilities would expand as well. And so she began to change. She stayed home more often. She read them bedtime stories. She looked after them, even as they grew to the point where she had been, even as they grew past that point and further beyond.
Her parents had other responsibilities, as did her brother, and so much of the house fell to her, and so she became what they asked of her.
She grew, and the twins grew old enough to no longer need a sister to mother them so much, and so she began to explore once more. She learned, and she studied. She followed in her brother's footsteps, learning the way of the sword. She forged her own path, learning the way of sigil and sign, of star and guide, of angles and geometries and so much more.
Oh, how she dreamed! The twins she was certain were more than old enough to look after themselves. The house and its servants, her brother, her father, her mother, they were all tied to Ishgard, and there was no reason for her to be as well. She would travel abroad, to foreign lands and meet foreign people, to learn the ways of the world.
But her House needed her, her father had implored. Their House needed her, her mother had explained. Their fortunes were not so well off as to be without their daughter. If the Observatorium would not take her, then Limsa Lominsa was too far, and she, instead, could oversee their holdings at the farm.
And so she went. She played at being a Noble woman in charge of a homestead. She helped raise chocobos of good pedigree and saw that the workers produced crop. At her father's urging, she tried her hand at courting, and found disaster there, and stopped.
Fortunately, there was always more work to be done, to distract her from broken dreams and broken hearts, and she became the Lady of Vauban farms.
The twins came of age. One became a priest, one took over the farm, and she, well, she went to the guard. Her father protested, and her mother demurred, but what else was there for her? And so the shield found its way to her arm.
She thought her purpose was to guard the weak, but she saw how they cowered before the strong. She thought her purpose was to stand up to power, but she saw how it curled around her and tried to bring her down. She thought she was part of something good, but she saw only how it had all become rotten.
She tried to stand up against a system that had stood for generations, and it threw her out into the fields and furrows, to stand guard against an attack that would never come.
She had refused to become a monster, and instead became an outcast, alone.
Calamity came, and with it tragedy. The skies burned and the ground froze, and she found the lands had become wastes.
She hurried from homestead to homestead, finding who she could, and lead the way to safe refuge.
She did not expect to find what she did when she arrived.
She had thought the fort would be safe refuge from the storm, a place of harbor for those she had found, a place to call home for a while.
Instead she found that the fort had want for a leader. Her brother, near felled, her mother, injured, and no other options.
She took command. And reluctantly, she became a leader.
The evidence was damning, and the truth obvious.
One of her younger brothers, a heretic.
She could have buried it.
But she did not. Even as she hoped he found whatever it was he was looking for, she could not hide the truth, nor would she run from it.
She took the actions needed to save her house from ruin, and keep her family, her entire family, safe. And in so doing, sacrificed herself.
Her brother and her family needed her both. And so she became an exile.
It was a simple life, working as an assessor at the Limsa Lominsa docks. She had finally gotten her wish and fulfilled her dream. Not quite as she had wanted it, but she had it all the same.
She was surrounded by books and learned people. She was taught and could teach in turn. She made friends, she made merry, she found a place to belong.
Even if she often felt all alone, a stranger, a foreigner, a woman out of place.
But still. It was a life, and she lived it, and she grew, and she blossomed.
She heard rumors, though. Of people disappearing out of town. Of crimes that went unsolved. Of problems that were not her own, and she tried to ignore them.
She could not, and so she went out. She explored. She sought. She investigated over river and through valley, and suddenly she found the world was much larger than she had ever imagined.
She could not stay here. Not with what she knew now.
And so she became an adventurer.
The realm was in danger, she knew that now.
Gods and wicked men, shadowless forms that sought to bring the dark, powerful omens coming to light, and a voice from beyond that implored her to hear, to feel, to think.
And so she heard, and so she felt, an so she thought.
The star needed her, and those like her, more than ever.
And so she became a hero.
Strange, how she had managed to come back home she thought she would never see again, and so bittersweet. Its protections had nearly fallen, and with them, the safeguards of their society they had guarded for generations.
It was bittersweet. She was mollified to know her family was well. She was gratified when her dear friend got on with her oldest brother.
She was terrified, when she found that the Archbishop was conspiring with the shadowless men.
Her home needed changed, and last time she had tried to change it, it was her that had been changed instead.
But now she had friends. She had allies. She had learned. And her home could live its lie no longer.
The winds of change were upon her home. And so she became an iconoclast.
Another era, another war. A monster of a man, who cut down her friends, and nearly cut her down, too.
She was terrified. The war loomed over her and swept through her. How many more would die, had to die?
Would she lose that which she cared about most in the pursuit of a nation's freedom?
She would not, she could not. She would make her stand here, and if it was to be her or him, well.
She faced her fears. She faced the potential loss of her love. She faced the end of everything she held dear, and she became like water, letting it sweep past her and through her, and when it was gone, she crashed upon it like a tidal wave.
She became the storm, and she set two nations free.
Her friends were missing, called away to another realm.
She was growing thin, she felt, but she was needed once more.
And so she became a traveller to distant shore, a legend foretold by a mysterious man, and a promise made to another world.
Instead, she whispered, "What does destiny need me to be?"
She would become whatever was needed.
For her friends. For her family. For the world.
Just one more time, she could do it.
And the next, and the next, and the-
"You are as you have always been."
She lifted her head slowly.
"And who you will always be."
She stared, not understanding.
"There is nothing else that you need to be."
She breathed, slow and deep, and felt a kiss that was like eternity.
"You will always be more than I deserve, and that is enough for me."
Not truly. Not in any way that mattered.
No, she was no victim of circumstance, no helpless maiden. When change came from her, she did not fold before it, but melded into it, adapted, and found something new about herself that had always been there, but now was set free.
When the twins were born, she found she could be kind.
When her family needed her, she found she could meet their needs.
When she became a guard, she found her courage.
When she became a captain, she learned she could lead.
When she left, she found her curiosity.
When she fought, she found what she believed in.
When she came home, she found she still had compassion and passion both, of surpassing degree.
When she went to war, she found what she feared, and it catalyzed her.
And here in this place, this other world, she found truth, and love, and everything.
And at last, now, she found...
She would do this. For family, found. For love, held. For a world she cared about so much.
And, most of all, for herself.
The vicissitudes of her life had changed her circumstances, true.
But they had never changed her.
She stood, and found she was free.
She might die here, but she would die free.
The world might end here, but it would be despite, not because, of her.
She would face the ancient darkness that lurked underneath the sea,
And if was to be them or her, well...
And in the end, all it took, was the one thing that never ever changed.
Her willingness and ability to take just one more step.
