#vgf

The time Jason had switched places with him in the underworld, the fleeting microsecond Leo had seen his face when they passed. The way he had turned desperately to watch him go as he was dragged back to the land of the living, fading fast into the darkness, how Leo had tried to call after him with no air in his lungs-

Then Leo is shooting upright in bed screaming his name

For a second his sleep-addled mind doesn’t know what death he's on. Two? Six? Twenty? Leo runs his hands through his hair and down his neck in an attempt to self-soothe away the hyperventilating, at least until he feels a twinge of pain where his neck meets his shoulder

He presses there again, the pain sharp and grounding. A bruise, a love bite. Only one person has ever given him those

Leo finds himself flying out of bed and towards the bathroom, he needs to see. Flicking on the light to face the disaster of his appearance in the mirror. Jason got him good there, the teeth indents are still visible even days after.

Leo presses in and, holds. It hurts, he is poking a bruise and all, but he needs it to hurt he needs to feel it. If it hurts then it's there, and if its there then Jason has been there, and if Jason has been there then that means he's alive

Leo is not sure which is more present, the pain or the relief, but it makes his knees buckle nonetheless. He slumps down in front of the sink, bare shins hitting the rug hard and he presses and presses into the bruise until his eyes water

Jason has been there, has loved the mark into his skin. Had laid Leo out like he was precious and kissed every inch of him, branded in his claim with teeth and tongue. He does it just about every day, marking Leo with his mouth, affection physically burrowed into him. There are more under his sleep shirt, Jason’s Circle City jersey that Leo likes to steal, and he tears it over his head as he scrambles back to his feet to see

He's covered in hickeys, he always is these days. They are mostly on his left side, Jason having a preference of using his lightning scar like a trail map up and down his body, each a different color with age. He digs his fingers into another one at random, letting the pain flare up in him.

He's spiraling, he knows he's spiraling, he can't stop it.

He's also getting hard

It should be surprising that his body goes there, but it isn't. They use sex as a comfort, as grounding, they use it to tell the other that they are safe and here and together. Sex is so much more a line of communication than Leo ever expected, getting off is barely half of it. So even though Jason isn't actually there the physical reminder gets the same reaction. Hard for the man that is halfway to Mexico right now, aching needing his touch to tell him it's okay

Needs him, Leo needs him.

Leo finds himself collapsed on the floor again, forehead to the tile and one hand over his head as he sobs tearlessly and digs his fingers into a bite mark on his clavicle. The back of his head fading into the darkness, taking Leo’s place, leaving him behind, is still fresh on replay in his mind. He would be fully dissociated if not for the pain, it keeps him aware enough to hear the soft sound of fabric in front of him

Jason’s shirt. The Way Station brought him another one of Jason’s shirts. One of the soft cotton ones he likes for training

Leo has the garment over his head and on his body before he can even think. He's immediately assaulted by the smell, hugging the fabric to himself with one arm as the other hand fists at the collar to pull it up to his face. Its dizzying how fast it grounds him

Before, sometimes, he would sleep in Jason’s bed when he was gone for work and his head was bad. Leo would get why Jason was so big on smell then, having the other man's scent surrounding him like that was grounding in a way he didn’t think possible. Heat lightning, and petrichor, and the spice of his too-many-in-one shampoo that Leo hadn't convinced him to kick yet. He was never a hundred present sure if Jason knew he did that, the way he would occasionally sniff at his own pillow when he got home gave him away that he was on to Leo even though if he never mentioned anything

OC-tober Day: 3

video game-inspired outfits: fire emblem - Celica

A super easy vegan dish that I’ve been loving lately! Something about laying out a “Buddha bowl” is so therapeutic. This is also pretty cost efficient, since Soba is fairly cheap. You could also swap our some of these veggies for frozen edamame or canned chick peas to make it extra efficient for your budget.

Ingredients: - Soba (the T&T brand one comes divided as four servings. I made two servings, one for me and one for Momo) - Veggies of your choice! I used Diced cucumber, halved cherry tomatoes, chopped green onion, sliced bell pepper, and torn kale massaged with sesame oil and a sprinkle of salt.  - Per serving: 1 tbsp rice vinegar, 1 tsp sesame oil, salt and pepper to taste - Extra sauce: 2 tbsp sesame oil, 3 tbsp rice vinegar, 3 tbsp soy sauce