Signs indicating you are literally Count Olaf:
Your solution to almost every problem is a bottle of red wine.
You have a deep, uncompromising love of fire, both as a metaphor and as a weapon.
You are quite temperamental, especially when there's no roast beef available.
You are a grudge-holding champion, particularly if the enemy in question has harmed someone you love.
You have a distinct tendency to overreact, and think in black and white terms.
You find it impossible to act in a way that could not possibly be described as "theatrical".
You have a long history of dysfunctional, codependent romantic relationships.
You are willing to do anything to exact revenge upon your enemies including harm their children and scheme to steal their fortunes after you've murdered them.
You are a dark soul who would rather wallow in resentment and half-ass life than get some fucking therapy.












