#very wrong.

now, onto makoto.

as a start, i think that makoto is a really remarkable character because of a sort of... tactical nuance? he is an interesting take on an “average joe” character, following the strict formula of a perfect protagonist while also playing into the archetype of being just your normal high schooler, who becomes this epic hero. and the way that these two aspects coexist is really interesting.

makoto, as a person, has pretty “standard” protagonist traits. he’s sympathetic (not empathetic, which i’ll touch on... eventually), he’s brave, he’s selfless, he’s persistent, he’s a little bit awkward and a little too trusting, but it sort of sorts out for him. and i think one thing i personally see in him, and really like about him, is that this sort of character trait cluster, if you will, has realistic consequences? if that makes sense?

because, like, you are presented with this person who bears a smile. put through hell, put through everything, (as someone i cannot recall off the top of my head once stated, being put through neglect by his writers themselves) and he’s still smiling. but i think that when you look just a bit deeper, there’s a lot there? a lot of resentment. a lot of hatred. a lot of guilt.

someone who was given the entire world to shove onto their still-adolescent shoulders, someone who has to defy the organization that intends to rid the world of the very thing that almost killed you, that did kill so fucking many, because he believes in a higher kind of hope than the one they discuss. someone who is brave, who has put his neck on the line a thousand separate times-- still smiling, still the ultimate hope-- and this idolized figure of relentless hope (who doesn’t feel anything negative, because he still smiles and only cries twice ever in canotical history, correct me if i’m wrong), and... that’s a lot to put on a person who never really got to be a teenager, right?

and that’s where resentment kicks in.

all the people who accused him, who left him to die when they couldn’t persist in the same way he always had (because why can’t they persist like him? why can’t they lose their entire world, and forgive in the end?), doesn’t he hate them? and this is the stuff that makes me tick, so apologizes for going really deep into it, but isn’t that something that must be so intrisically present? for fuck’s sake, the entire future foundation, most of the class of 78 (because they’re all traitors, in a sense, with all the killing and the decision to lead him to the bottom of that garbage chute, and still he forgave) the remnants of despair that he still wants to save (and his argument with hinata at the end, though i don’t remember clearly, just think about it), and himself. himself!

he’s this average teenager with the world on his shoulders, who lost this, a sort of metaphorical prometheus (but perceived as hardly interesting enough to foster this role), this repetitive martyr, the perfect protagonist-- and he keeps failing, despite his persistence, despite his hope. sometimes i think about, like, how little negative emotion he shows. doesn’t he hate himself, in some sort of way? he was lucky enough to be the perfect person to be the ultimate hope, but not lucky enough to prevent it all in the first place. and there’s the loathing. that’s where it hits.

he’s this incredible human being, sympathetic through it all (but not empathetic, because he doesn’t feel what they go through. he understands it, and he cares-- god, does he care-- but he doesn’t feel it in himself. if he did, he’d be despairing from the start.) and forgiving, but also resentful-- and he must hate it! shouldn’t he be able to take it? shouldn’t he take all the hits, as he always has done, without resenting the people he would rather die than lose (again)?

as a sort of tldr: he’s a sympathetic, heroic martyr, a perfect protagonist, and yet there is endless layers of resentment, written into his very skin, and. yeah. yeah.

(worth saying, i think the dude is smart. i think he’s clever. i don’t necessarily think he’s the most clever protagonist-- all of them have different sorts of smart to them-- but i do think he’s a smart fucker. and i don’t think he’s necessarily childish. i think, after a point, he got mature. 

he’s just idealistic. idealistic, and optimistic (because he can’t dip into nihilism, because what will the world do then?) and sometimes, it makes him out to be a child. but i really don’t think he is. he has childish thoughts in thh, and he still has a boyish quality to him, but he’s been through it. he’s roughened up, as a person.

does he even recognize himself?)

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