#very write

bellarke dirty dancing au or bellarke titanic AU iM or bellarke bathing in the creek somewhere around the time of the finale idk or bellarke college student/TA AU idk any of these and I’d cry forever

i'm actually aleady working on the last one a s afollow up to my summer bonfire au (spoilers) because bellamy turns otu ot be clarke's ta

and also my idiot friend jsut prompted me with clakre and bellamy teasing each other throughout the day to see hwo cracks first (they're already banging bECAUSE LAUREN IS A HARLOT AND WANTS ME TO WRITE SMUT) and raven takes bets from the rest of the grou p and it's gr9 so i'm writing that right now

He'd been locked in his room for weeks. They'd hardly seen anything of him, his door had even been barricaded in the first week. All they could do was talk to him through it, although even then getting an answer was scarce. Eventually, they were able to get into the room, albeit carefully and slowly, as if one were approaching a startled deer. Nevertheless, a deer that could quite easily give you a black eye that would last for weeks if he lashed out.

I feel the urge to write, and my previous segment, "5AM Ramblings", fell off - thankfully. It was an unsustainably unhealthy time to be writing anyway. - so I'll move the same stream-of-conscious idea to a healthier time of the night. And use tags.

I really do feel like writing though. A lot of change is flying though my life right now, and it's tough remaining the static point in time that I think myself as. It's not that I hate change, but change is tough for some people, so I want to be a reliable island for those facing the torrent seas of change. Constant. Static. Dependable, ya know. Sure, wiser, smarter, or stronger, but fundamentally the same dairy-guzzling, long-hair-loving, tall, awkward, nerdy guy. You can't exactly be your own harbor of safety, though. It's... tough watching others grow and change. Seeing people mature and grow into themselves and use their potential makes me so happy. Kind of like the satisfaction a gardener gets from seeing plants grow. Well, that metaphor implies I was a catalyst in the growth. A better one might be a man who walks the same path to work and sees the familiar plants and trees grow on each day's passing. I wish I could see how I've grown and changed over the years. It'd help remove this notion that I'm a constant. Sometimes you lose things to change. It's an inherent risk in the process. "If I was constant, I wouldn't lose things", I'd think. That may apply to the things in your domain of control, but not beyond. Things change, and it's no longer my choice whether I've lost them or not, since my thoughts and feelings haven't changed. It hurts to lose things. I wish things didn't change.

take the broken bits of you and hide them away

because nothing

nothing

will ever bring them back stack them on shelves hidden away behind cabinets

and never look 

and never remember