#verruh

Some quick sketches of two lovely toons <3 Neither belong to me!

At first there had been people, Coutlings searching for her. She had pressed herself into the foliage, hidden away from those that no doubt wished to take her back. Back to him, her Dark Dream. Sometimes, at the start, she had enough thought she'd heard him call out to her. Roaring her name in the tick and confusing greenery of the inlet. But she had closed her mind and ears to him. Hiding herself by forcing her tumbling feelings into Asphodel. The blade had accepted the tribute as easily as it once accepted the sunlight. But now it could no longer take any more of her dark energy. Be it nightmare or other.  Then she had wandered. Moving as if in a dream, reliving the horror of what she had done. Eventually, she had climbed the cliffs, only to collapse, tucked away among the rich shrubbery.  She had dreamt Nightmares again, confusing things with spider webs where her body moved on it's own, like a puppet. In the Nightmare she had tried to gnaw away her hands, to free herself, but then someone had lit a fire under her, and she had burnt, screaming for her Dark Dream. And he had answered her. Yes, he had answered her. " Taint. You are nothing but taint." Awake again, and she no longer knew how long she had been there. The days or hours felt like years and this was too familiar. How many times had she done this now? Retreated into the inner sanctums of herself, trying desperately to survive while the words repeated themselves over and over. Her Dark Dreams voice, killing her. " Perhaps you were mine, once... Taint. Perheps you were mine once. You are not mine. Taint. I see only taint.  " She hummed, quietly to herself. Trying to drown out the voice in her mind. While she clung to Asphodel. The thorns of the Dream-thistle digging into her palms and armour, allowing for small proof that she was still alive. She could still feel something. Now, the blade was her only comfort. A reminder of all that she had done. Proof that she had indeed stood up to her Dark Dream, she hadn't dreamt that. It had happened. She had acted beyond the call of her nightmare. She had acted, for herself. And the truth of this action was somehow engulfed by the disgust in her Dark Dreams voice. The disappointment in his eyes. The hurt. She had chosen to live, and he hated her for it. Train. She was so deep in her self loathing that she didn't notice the strained grunts, the rustling of the foliage and the strangely familiar presence. It was only when Arrenduin spoke that she realised that she was no longer alone. "Verruh, are you in here?" She stiffens, holding her breath. But surely enough, it's already too late to try to hide now. "You know, I can recognize your voice. It'd be best if you would've just answered me. " She ignores him. Had he been calling for her? She hadn't heard, or if she had she couldn't remember. And why, curse the pale tree was it him that found her? "I know what happened. " He goes on." Why did you do it?" She can't answer him, but his question stir up the memory in her mind and she curls up slightly tighter around the blade. Yes, her sword, focus on the sword, it was her only reminder that she had been selfish. All her regrets boiled down to this sword. " You're going to have to talk. I won't be able to help you." " Why are you here" She tries to ask him, but she can't hear herself, and apparently nor can he, as he places his palms against his knees and leans forwards slightly, listening intently. " I can't hear you." She sighs and steps closer, looking down at her. "You're not acting like a Knight. Verruh holds her breath, perhaps, if she pretends she isn't there he will go away. Forget about her. Allow her to drown in her own mind until she is too weak to fight the decay. To weak to get up, to continue living. And she can just fade away. A sudden pain tears through her, shredding her thoughts, as Arrenduin grabs onto her hair, dragging her up to her feet using brute strength and forces her to look at him. She fixes her gaze on the white Sylvari. Suddenly aware of how strong he actually was, and how easily he could just snap her neck. Worst of all, his eyes were blue, pale, but blue all the same. They glared at her. " If you do not act like a Knight, why should I act like a squire? Are you really there, Verruh?" Was she? Was she here? Was she anything at all beyond the Taint. The taint her Dark Dream had been so disgusted of. She answers the best she can. A mere whisper, but he seem to hear her as he repeats the word back to her. " Taint? What is taint, Verruh?" She wished he'd stop using her name. But most of all she wished he'd stop saying that word. Out loud, it sounded worse. So much worse. He tightens his grip on her hair, twisting it, tilting her head backwards as he drags her closer. She can't help but to clutch Asphodel closer to herself. What if he tries to take it from her? " Why did you attack Noctaemis?" "He", Verruh can feel fresh tears staining her cheeks. How foolish of her to think she had shed the last one long ago. " He said I am not his." "Why would he say that?" " He claim I.. I am tainted. " "What does that mean?" What did it mean? The question is enough to offset the delicate balance she had created within herself. She sobs, feeling her legs give in under her, so that the strain is worse on her willow like hair. What did it mean? It mean that she had lost him. She had lost her centre of the world. The only thing that meant anything. The only source of sanity she had. The nightmare suddenly welled up in her. pushing forward, enveloping them both in a sickening feeling, like the taste of vomit in the back of the throat. " It means that he.. He.. Can not stand to look at me. " Yes that was the truth, she had said it out loud. " I am tainted by his enemies." " So much of a Dark Dream, he was..." "Is" She can't help but correct Arrenduin. Her Dark Dream might have cast her aside but she had not done the same to him. The word seem to anger him though, and he doesn't even bother to hide the scorn in his voice. Or is it disbelief? "He has discarded you, Verruh. Or do you still hold on to the thought that he's going to let you stay by his side. After all he spoke of this 'taint' that you seem to have?" He lowers his voice as Verruh has no answer to give but her own sob. He was right, wasn't he?" Stop crying, You look pathetic." "You weren't suppose to see. " It's true, he was never suppose to come here. Never meant to look for her. Why was he here. Why -him-. " But I did. " His voice comes cold now, a threat. " And unless you pull yourself together, Noctaemis won't be the only one that casts you aside. " The sudden panic that comes with the threat catches her of guard. Why? Was she afraid to be cast away by Arrenduin as well? Did he matter? She shifts her grip on her sword, pressing more thorns into her palms. Pushing the nightmare down, stuffing it away. It's the best she can do for him now. Even as she feels the streams of tears flow from her eyes. " What are you going to do now?" He asks, apparently content with her efforts. "I don't know." " You don't know? You're just going to sit here, hidden and mope until you die?" " I don't know!" She raises her voice, as he hits home. Yes, that was exactly what she had hoped to do. "And what am I suppose to do?" What is he suppose to do? What does that have to do with anything. How dare he think about himself in this situation! The anger of it is enough for her to glare at him. He looks somewhat concerned and angry. Though she knew now that his concern was only for himself. " You can start by letting me go." To her surprise Arrenduin actually does what he's told. Letting her hair fall in shambles back down over her neck before he steps back. Sadly the grip on her had been all that kept her upright and without his support Verruh slumps back down to the mossy ground. She glares up at him, as that annoying question nudges her again. Why him? Why not someone she could easily have turned away. Why did it have to be one of the few in her court that she actually respected. The question is so compelling this time, that she hears herself say it out loud. "Why are you here?" " Because you are my Knight." "Don't give me that, you are not even a Courtier." "But I am bound to you by duty. You made it that way." Something had stirred in her when he'd called her a knight. A pride maybe. But it sank back again, as quickly as it had come. Yes, of course. Duty. That's why he was here, ever predictable, her Arrenduin. But why was it him? Out of all her Court, why him. It was unfair. Everything was unfair. Verruh speaks, realising it was too quiet for Arrenduin to catch and repeats herself again. " Why you? Why did you come..." This would have been so much easier if it had been someone else. Anyone else. " Did you think it would be your 'Dark Dram' that found you? Having some wishful thoughts that he'd come and sweep you up in his arms?" No, she had never though that. Nor had she hoped it. She had tried to kill him, she knew that deep down. She had gone for a killing blow and the only thing that had saved her Dark Dream was his Aegis. No, she had never dared to believe he would forgive her so easily. That he would see beyond the taint. She shakes her head and tears her eyes away from her squire. If only it had been someone else. But it was Arrenduin. And she was happy to see him. That scared her for reasons she couldn't yet explain. "Look at me" He sounds angry, annoyed. Why did he insist on her looking at him? " I don't want to see you." She tries to muster some defiance, but lifts her gaze none the less. Only to see the cold man lash out towards her, his hand closes around her shoulders and suddenly she's airborne. She lands heavily on her side, her armour taking most of the impact as she skids across the slippery moss. Scrambling to regain her footing, finding her feet, she  cradles  the sword in both her hands protectively, making sure it's undamaged. But Arrenduin draws her attention back to him as she speaks. Stepping out of the shrubbery towards her. " If you are not going to be the Knight to control me. Then you may as well give me your Knighthood and return to the Den as a squire." Return as a squire? Was he insane. She narrows her eyes and straightens up, changing the grip on her Asphodel. Verruh speaks slowly, and clearly, making sure that Arrenduin hears each word without fault. " Fuck off" And to her annoyance the stupid blue Wardling answers with a grin. Had she ever even seen that before on him? The rare sight is enough to make her grind her teeth. "That's funny, because those are the exact same words I told Micia before I gutted her." " I do not know who that is but I doubt it matters. " Was he mocking her?"A moment of weakness and you believe you can. What, beat me?" " Weakness?" He sounds amused. " You are broken. And refuse to get a grip of yourself. Why should I doubt my capability in beating you?" She can't help but to laugh, this was just so idiotic. So silly. With a smile she lifts her arms wide, mimicking the taunt her Dark Dream had given her during their last encounter. Was her squire really so blind? " Because I was always broken, you fool! You think I am unaware of just how pathetic I am? Do you you think for an instance I forgot my actual place in this disgusting world?" " If you have always been broken, " He sounded somewhat puzzled." why would you not piece yourself back together?" Why? Why did he ask such questions. Always cutting right to the core without caring what was in the way. She lowered her arms again, suddenly tired. The amusement gone as quick as it had come and, somehow, it left her drained. "Where does one even start?" " With realising who one is. "  Arrendyin answers, in a matter of fact tone. That was daft. She knew who she was, that was the problem. "I know all too well who I am. " " Do you really? Then tell me." "I am Verruh" She answers, but he keeps looking at her with some expectation in his eyes. She wished he wouldn't look at her that way. He wasn't even a courtier, not truly one of hers, but he was looking at her now like she had some sort of answer. How was she suppose to explain to him who she was? Who was he then? A Dreamling, no a Wardling, who had risked his freedom for a change to duel and dance with her over and over. A man driven by a need to tear, to butcher, to destroy. Who better to play with than her? She was nearly immortal. Arrenduin didn't need to hold back with her, and she would not hold back for him. Whoever Micia had been had not been a match for hos blade. But had he not nearly gutted her the first time their blades had met? And she had continued, thanks to her song. It had been thrilling, almost perfect how they had fought, until their blades had met in unison, until they had danced, matching each other movements, each trying to be the one that lead the steps.. She knew who he was. She could see him cle- Verruh forces the thought away and asks in an attempt to flee the uncomfortable silence. "And who are you then?" "The one that gets things done. " Of course he would have an answer ready to give her. Why was she even surprised? No, she saw now what he wanted to hear from her. "Very well then, I am the one that keeps the rest alive." " Are you keeping yourself alive?" " What does it matter? Death is hardly the worst that can happen..." Who cared if she lived? If her Dark Dream no longer wanted her. " this  is the worst! I have died several times already." It was true, how many times had she been revived, remade? Yet he persisted. "And what is -this-? Attacking Noctaemis? Be abandoned by him?" " The latter" The words alone make her flinch, but she keeps herself silent to Arrenduin, as her emotions seemed to disgust him so much. "So how are you going to heal that?" "Are you not listening?" She feels a rush of anger return, giving her strength. "I do not know! If the sight of me irks you so much then leave!" He pauses, but continues in his icy manner. " Is that really what you want?" No, it wasn't. She had never been so afraid to be left alone before. Would she go back to that cocoon? She had just been angry, uncomfortable. Surely he could see that? She sighs and changes the subject. " What have you heard?" She listens in confusion as he tells her about how the Whiteling had told him that Teyrnel might be joining the court. And how he might be Noctaemis former Dearheart. With everything that had happened she had completely forgotten. " Is that not what you wanted to know, by your question?" " I wanted to know what you have been told of what happened." " You had a fight with Noctaemis. That is all." That was all? He had come searching for her over a simple fight? Surely there was more " I assumed someone told you, or you would not be here. You know what I did to my Dark Dream." "And that is why I should've been there." Arrenduin states. So sure in himself that he would have made a difference. Why did he keep doing this? He always threw himself against the cliffs, like and angry wave, expecting the world to change for him. The cliffs to erode away by his sheer intensity. "You were sent away for your own safety. Besides, what would have changed? He would have only had yet another reason to see me as a traitor.  Something to throw in my face, yes? He thinks I should have chosen death. " "So why didn't you?" She can't tell if he was being cruel or simply felt curious. She answered anyway, feeling she might as well explain to him that she is not without a fight. "Because an alternative was offered to me and I took it. I chose to live, yes? Because my Dark Dream was still alive and he had not left me." "And you still hold on to that thought that he has not abandoned you?" The words crash through her, causing her to recoil away from him. It hurt. The answer was no, and she knew it. But to admit it to him was too much, too much to even admit it to herself. Her Dark Dream had abandoned her. Because of taint. But she was not about to let him throw her away. No. Her Dark Dream might not want her any more, but she still wanted him. " He will have no choice in the matter." " That's a brave statement. If you are so confident, why are you out here?" Arrenduin asks her. He seemed willing to at least try to understand her. Though she wondered if he was aware of it. Possibly he was just that type of person, forcing her to think things through so that he could follow at a safer pace. "Because I am mourning my own death. " "And when you die? When you are finally dead, what will you do? Begin again?" Ah, he was listening, and he was understanding. Once again Arrenduin reminds her that he is not just a brute. There's mind in there, and it was sharp. But she had no real answer. What could she say? What could she focus on? " I am responsible for the lives I've saved, am I not? " And you thought it was funny when I said that I would protect hose I could..."He looks amused briefly, nothing real to hold on to. No true expression to store away in her memory. " It is, because someone like you will ask for nothing in return." "Because there is rarely anything I would like back." He defends. "Meanwhile I like the favour returned." "And how many owe you back for being saved?" How many? Damn him. She didn't know. Even when she tried to think about it it was too great a number. How many had lived because of her? No. She wills herself to focus. Tossing the question away. " Regardless. This exchange of life and death lead me to the Gearmaster, yes?" " I'm listening." "My Dark Dream left me behind once. I thought it was by choice. " She tries to explain it as it if had happened to someone else, knowing this was the core of her current state, and Arrenduin needed to hear it if he was to be of any use at all." I died that day, left in the tender care of the Wardlings. Pepper did -so- care for me. They left me for dead, though the Gearmaster came to me, untied me and revived me. He claimed my Dark Dream had not left willingly, that he was alive, waiting for me. " She takes a moment, finding it hard to admit to what she had only told her Dark Dream a few days ago. Her eyes flicker over the former Wardling, noting his easy stance, his broad strong shoulders. The way he looked at her with shallow interest at best. Yet, she could tell he was listening. Probably noting it down somewhere in the back of his head. "I only had to read the truth in his mind, and I did, as he did the same to me. This is the taint my Dark Dream cast me aside for." " And that is why you are out here?" " Because I chose to live, yes." " Do you think this, " He pauses, searching for the words. "taint is going to go away?" " I am not tainted!" The outburst surprised her. But it was true. Her Dark Dream was wrong. She knew that, deep down she knew that.Yet she shakes her head as Arrenduin exclaims "So go back to the Den!" She must seem so silly to him. "No?" "I can not" "I do not understand." Well that was true, he didn't, and probably never would. But she tries to explain it non the less. "Did you just walk back into the pathetic Glade when you were cast aside?" " I was terminated of service." He defends yet again, trying to make it seem like there's a notable difference. " It's different. You are still a Knight. You still retain your position amongst your Court:" " What does it matter to you? You have roused me from my cocoon, is that not enough?" Yes, she was still a Knight, but her Dark Dream was a Retinue. Verruh can't help but to feel somewhat suspicious. What, if anything, was he trying to cut away to this time? "If you are not a Knight any more, then I am no longer your squire. That is why it matters to me. But least it seems I got through to you. Do as you like. It does not matter to me." Of course. how had she been so stupid. It was suddenly crystal clear why he had sought her out. He had hoped, that with her Baron anger Noctaemis had taken her Knighthood. That he was free, free on any responsibility that came with being her squire. Arrenduin had come to her for this reason, and this reason alone. Why had she been happy to see him? She should have known better. No one really cared about her except her Dark Dream. And now, not even him. " I am a Knight, you are not free yet." " Then I expect to find you in the Den tomorrow. If you are still out here hiding you ought to prepare to fight for your life. " It was laughable. He was threatening her life to force her to risk her life.  It was funny, really, but she didn't laugh. "I will not go back there at this time. I am not -suicidal-." As she said it, she knew it was true. Even now, despite what she had tried to do. She didn't want to die. She had chosen life once, and she would do it again. Right? Yes, she had to at least tell herself that. Only this time, it had been Arrenduin who revived her. Who had offered her a chance. And she would take it. She mused the thoughts as she watched him shrug, deciding silently to herself to keep him close. " Perhaps those favours that they owe you will come in handy." "Perhaps, or there is a reason why -you- are the only one searching for me, yes? There are no friends in the Court, only enemies with smiles." "Then I hope for your sake that you fight with all your might." He scoffs it off, looking proud and confident as always. How foolish he seemed now. Did he really think that she would just roll over? She had beaten him once, she could do it again. She lifts her hand and points Asphodel at him. The iridescent blade awakens as her wish to hurt him grows stronger. She fixes her eyes on his, meeting his gaze. Somewhere she knew, that in her state he might win. She might hesitate, if only for half a heartbeat. And it would be over. But she had to hide her self-doubt behind anger. "Do not test me Arrenduin! I did not hesitate to cut down my own Dark Dream. What makes you think you will be any different?" "Because I am not him. I do not feel what he feels. I do not think what he thinks. I can go beyond that of which he can. You speak of testing? No, it is you who should not test me, Verruh." "And that is the exact same reason why you should not test me. You are not my Dark Dream. " She really wished he'd stop using her name like that. But it was true. He was not her Dark Dream. He was no more important to her than she was to him. Wouldn't it be funny, if they killed each other here. Yes, she co- He had turned away, walking towards the edge of the cliff as the strange contraption on his back starts whirring. He speaks in a uninterested, if warning tone. " You know what will come tomorrow. " She watches with a strange sinking feeling in her chest as he starts to take the last step off the edge. And oddly, she reaches out with her maimed right hand, the one he had severed, to try to stop him. He's going to leave, and she'll be alone again! The nightmare and desperation would creep back into her mind, it would crush her. She tries to call out to him but gilds her voice useless .She just can't do it. She can't ask him to stay. How could she? He already found her too pathetic to even look at. Arrenduins leaves, the jet pack on his back serves only to soften the fall and impact as he lands on the ground below. He doesn't even glance back after her as she whispers the words she can't say loud enough for him to hear. To judge her. The words that may have turned him back. Perhaps, he would have shown her pity. And perhaps that would have been so much worse. "Don't leave me alone."            

"Go sit on your throne" That's what her dark dream had said to her. So here she sat, her knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around them. They felt secure in her arms, well protected, a stupid illusion of course. She'd removed her boots to inspect the legs underneath. Even now the metal that made up most of her left leg felt cold and alien under her sharp fingers, an unpleasant reminder... " Go, sit on your throne" The words rang in her head. She had begged him not to leave, even attempted to grab on to his arm, But he had shock her off, pushed her down onto the mud as if she was nothing. And despite her pleas he had left. Banished to the throne she now replayed the memory over and over in her head until she was interrupted by a voice. " M'lady?" She didn't need to look up to know the whiny tone belonged to Vergil, the pink male in the white leaves. She waits for a moment before she answers " Yes, Whiteling?"  Around her she can hear the others speak, chatting and gossiping as if the demoralising scene earlier had never happened. " Where is your Dark Dream?" What an excellent question! "I do not ..." She pauses, taking a moment to accept the truth she's about to speak. " Know." Lilith, the discarded Knight from the Duke of Eclipse, approaches, speaking in a conversational manner. " M'lady, the bear prints we found.. I found out it was just a Courtier pulling a prank. He's been punished so the situation's been taken care of. " Verruh frowns under her helmet, Bear prints, what bear prints? She tried to push past memory of Noctaemis leaving. Finding it harder than it should be. She makes a vague dismissive gesture. " Well done. Now do leave me be. " " As you wish" Lilith answers with a nod" Vergil, let's go. " She attempts to usher the small male away but he shrugs her off, stubborn " I need to speak with him, M'lady. " Verruh sits quietly for a while,letting the statement hang in the air while the male watches her. He seems completely oblivious to the bad timing and her emotional state. She considered sending him away, but then, he was a distraction. "... What is it you wish to speak of, Vergil." There, she used his name, he would know she was not in her usual state of mind now. Surely he would understand as much. He didn't seem any wiser though, beaming in triumph as Lilith leaves them somewhat alone, wandering over to the rocks to speak with the others.  While the Whiteling started speaking as if his small problems somehow interested her greatly. " I ran into my old mentor again, Teyrnel. With the way he was acting... I think, no I believe he has joined the nightmare. " The words reach her slowly, then she stands up suspicion hitting her harder than expected. " Sweetling, hand! Whatever, whoever!" She calls out with a commanding tone only slightly laced with her worry.  Then she turns her attention back to Vergil, motioning vaguely as the others scurry over. "Go on Vergil..." The eye-catching male seem somewhat confused by her outburst but carries on. Verruh listens impatiently as he explains of how the Wolfling, his former mentor seemed dark, almost like a fellow courtier last he had met him, and she recalls how her Dark Dream had shown interest in Teyrnel, his former friend. Worst of all, she remembers how the Wolfling had implied there was more to their past than her Dark Dream let on. And, according to Vergil,  he was now sulking around somewhere near the Den. And her Dark Dream had left... She pushes the thought away, turning her focus to Raelithen, who had finally shuffled over to the throne. "Find my Dark Dream, make sure that he does not speak with the Wolfling... Not before I do- Not under any circumstances are they to meet, do you understand?" " Yes, m'lady" Vergil chants, but her Sweetling feels the need to question her, as always. "Lady Verruh, with all due respect, we have no clue as to where the Baron is, and even if we did find him, how wll we keep him from meeting Teyrnel?" Vergil interjects, his slightly confused face lights up with what he believes to be a good idea. " What if we were to go find Teyrnel instead`?" " That would be a better option." Agrees Raelithen, and she watches as the Whiteling and her Sweetling settle on a plan. Though they soon realise that her Drk Dream can simply send them away. "Even if my Dark Dreams orders you to leave the two of them alone, I demand that you follow -my- orders on this matter. I will take full responsibility." There's a moment of what might pass as concern on Ralithens face, though she's quite sure that he's just looking after his own skin. They were all watching her carefully, as if she had sprouted a second head.  Regardless, they had the nerve to suggest she'd get some rest. Didn't they understand the urgency in the matter? Had they no understanding for what could happen? She takes a deep breath and tries to explain it, hardly hiding her anger now. " I do not need rest. I need to make sure that he doesn't meet his old Dearheart in his current state, yes? Do you understand?" The gathered courtiers faces contorts into disbelief and shock at the words. It's clear to her that idea that Noctaemis could have loved before her never even crossed their minds. But it had crossed hers. He had spent years and years without her... " ...Dearheart...?" Vergil stutters. While Lilith can't help but cry out and Verruh has to suppress the urge to slap her. "Old Dearheart?! I thought.. Wow" Raelithen however seems slightly slower on the uptake. " Wait, what?" he pauses before he continues. "The same Dearheart that the Baron left to mine and Vergil's discretion to handle before? The one I could've shot in the head? Now why would the Baron do that?" "Because Sweetling, " She starts to speak, trying to stay calm. It hurt to repeat the events of the last few hours." He knows about my Sins against him and has left the Den, stating that I am to remain on this throne untill her returns. " Verruh closes her eyes, and continues with a far harder tone. " Now do I have to repeat myself? Go search for my Dark Dream." Vergil, however, just as Raelithen, had not been percent at the time, and he can't seem to keep the question to himself, even when faced with her anger. " Sins against him, m'lady?" The others seem to know her better though, and Raliethen takes a firm hold of the smaller male and starts to drag him away, leaving Verruh to her throne, while Saoilyne tells him" We will explain on the way." She watches them go through the corner of her eyes, before she sits back down. She can still partly hear them, the Den eerily silent around her as the Court seem to know better than to draw attention to themselves. "Revert power setting to default..." " ...Let go of me you brute!" " ...Did she say Dearheart?" "...We should..." " ...Are you joking?" She stands up, unable to remain still any more. Her thoughts are too much to endure and with careful steps she finds her way down the root that holds the throne. Padding barefoot through the mud, her eyes fixing on the cages. There are Sylvari in them, Sylvari that nobody would mind if she hurt, not even her Dark Dream, and right now she needed a distraction. " We should start by discussing plausible locations of where the Baron might be." " Rae, she's coming over here. Let's go!" " You can go, I am staying. If i come with you, you will surely run into Teyrnel." The whispers float over clearly despite the distance. But Verruh ignores them as they squabble amongst themselves. Even as Lilith and Saoilyne herds the two men towards the gates. Does Verruh keep her attention on the cowering Sylvari in the cage, she's small, yellow in tone and- "M'lady, your Dark Dream is already back." Vergil voice sounds urgent enough to draw her attention, first to him, then to the gates. Raelithen and the others were crowding around her Dark Dream, but she could barely see them. He was back, her Dark Dream was back and she was not on the throne where he had told her to stay.. She turns, hurrying off towards the throne, climbing back up. Calm, and still. Yes, she had to remain hidden now, one wrong word, or a spark of emotion at the wrong time and her Dark Dream would misunderstand again, mistrust her. Once she reaches the throne she turns, and watches him as he strides towards her. Even now, she was painfully aware of how inferior she was to him, how gracefully he walked towards her, how his voice sounded like music when he said her name" Verruh..." and she almost looses it then. The urge to throw herself down at his feet  overwhelmed her for an instant. But it meets with a sudden anger. He had left her when she had pleaded. Pleaded. It was enough to feed her determination. To keep herself silent, hidden away from him and everyone else. The last time she had withheld her emotions from this glorious man, she had challenged him openly. " My Dark Dream." The others gather around them like hyenas waiting for the Lion to make a kill, but she pays them no mind. There's only her Dark Dream now,  her Dark Dream and the knowledge that she had done nothing wrong. A strange feeling of betrayal was  starting to grow in the back of her mind. Noctaemis climbs the root to stand before her, drawing her eye and making her heart beat faster. She states in what she hopes is a calm voice." You have returned to me" " As I said I would" "And what did you do while away from me?" " The Warden Mender, Sprout, will soon be awakened." Sprout? What did that have to do with anything? She narrows her eyes under her helmet. " That matters little to me, Dark Dream of mine." "That's what I was doing." Her Dark Dream speaks the words so calmly, so matter of factly, as if it didn't matter to him, held no importance. "Sprout?" "Indeed." Verruh feels herself tense up, what was he saying? It felt like the world was spinning. This man who was the anchor of her whole existence was standing there, acting as if everything  was fine. " You were" She swallows and tries again. " Doing Sprout?" Her Dark Dream seem to realise how bad the wording was and attempts to clarify " I was... Convincing Sprout to join us." A snicker from the Courtiers echoes around the Den, was it Lilith? It didn't matter. Verruh can't believe what she's hearing, doesn't want to. But she had heard it, and the words stab into her like red hot pokers. She starts speaking, quietly, forced, it takes everything she has not to scream. " You .. Left me in that state to" She lifts her arms slowly,  and as her careful control of her voice break as does the control of her body. " GO SPEAK WITH SPRUT?!" She shoves Noctaemis with everything she has. Putting all of her weight behind the shove. For the first time in her life she wants to hurt her Dark Dream. There's a sense of satisfaction as he falls backwards, having not expected the outburst, crashing into the thorns on his way down the root, breaking the nearby pedestal with his flailing arms. The stunned silence that follow, as the entire court holds their collective breaths, is almost painful to listen to and only serve to emphasise the ringing in her ears.  But she holds her ground even as Noctaemis stands up, calmly brushing himself off. His tone is dry, uncaring. " I did, but I did not share my Dreams with her." The words are enough to tear her line of thought to shreds. Dreams? What was he talking about? She had never done any such thing, the closest thing she had ever been to such a thing had been- The understanding that dawns is far worse than anything she could have imagined. " Do you feel betrayed, my "darling" Verruh?" Verruh blinks under her helmet, refocusing at Noctaemis. At some point he had thrown his weapon aside, leaving himself open.The sight angers her further, how dare he? How dare he! He wasn't there! " Don't you dare throw that at me. You have no idea. No understanding to what broke in me that day." " I know that for days, weeks after you accused ME of betraying you!" It was stupid, she hadn't accuse him, she had tried to explain her experience what had happen.. how the world had disappeared with him. And as she lay dying in the dark someone had offered her hope. And she had taken it. " I did not choose it, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make if it meant that you were alive and had not left me willingly. The sacrifice I made to patch myself back together and find you." Noctaemis didn't seem to believe her, his face hidden but scorn laced his voice. "I promised you i would not leave you, as I promised you that I would find you." This was stupid and unfair. She bends down and pulls her discarded boots back on, there's this inkling feeling that she would need them soon. Tightening the straps as she speak,  concentrating on suppressing  the whirling energy inside her that she knows will only bring her to her knees. Tonight, she had to keep the Nightmare at bay, if she wished to come out of this on top. Besides, he wasn't listening. "And I did what I had to do to return to you, because that was what I promised, yes?" Noctaemis appears not to hear, his attention turns toward Raleithen while Verruh finishes fastening the last straps. " Still, after all this time, I am surrounded by the taint left by the Gearmaster." Taint. She can't help but to repeat it. " Taint" That's how it was, he had used the word before, had he not? Inhaling deeply she wills the leaves around her face to slide away, wrapping themselves around her neck.  Her Dark Dream should see her face, should know what his words are doing to her as she couldn't afford to show them any other way. The motion, or perhaps her words draws Noctaemis attention back to her. " As for you, Verruh, you did what you thought you had to do, and betrayed me out of desperation. In all my years searching for you, not once did I betray you, not once did I share myself with another." " Taint" She remembered the conversation she had had with the cursed Sapling. " That is how you see me now, isn't it? Some tainted creature. My leg is a constant reminder. The limbs I severed on your demand... Should I cut off my head as well, Dark Dream of mine? " She can feel herself shaking now, what was she saying? The anger crashed and trusted inside her, keeping the obsession at bay. " I did not share myself willingly. He let me in! How was I suppose to know it would be a double edged blade?" Yes, she remembered it clearly. It had been a double edged sword, and Elesh had been the one wilding it. He could have gone so much deeper if he had wanted to, but he had only scratched the surface.  Her Dark Dream didn't understand. It was a shallow encounter, brief, and it had given her life when she was dead. He should be thanking Elesh! If he loved her at all, he should be happy she was here, alive and well. " You trusted him after he shot me and sent me away from you?" " No I didn't! " He was wrong, and he was opening his arms wide for her, mocking. Speaking in a almost smug manner, he was trying to hurt her, and he was succeeding. "Yet you allowed him in, once, and then time and time again. I enjoyed watching him die, a shame indeed that I didn't sever his filth encrusted head myself. " Once more he glances at Raelithen, as if to judge his reaction.  Oddly enough it's Lilith that reacts, moving to protect her Dearheart. Verruhs ignores it, having far more important things to worry about. " Time and time again?" What was he talking about?" My Dark dream if you are angry with me, then hit me, beat me, punish me as you see fit, but do not" She stumbles on her words, fear tingling her senses once again, what if..." Do not choose another comfort!" " I am not above you, Verruh, you are not mi-" He moves to glare at Lilith, as if to dare her to try anything. Liliths fellow Courtiers pull her away though. " Not what?" " You are not mine to beat and punish." She lifts her sword slowly, dreamlike. Had he really implied what she thought? She points the light sword at Noctaemis. She was sure of one thing in this world and there he was, denying it." I am yours to punish. As you are mine. " " Perhaps you were mine once." Verruh feels her eyes widen, the shock creeping in like venom in her veins. Before her eyes her Dark Dream removes his helmet, the leaves sliding away painfully slowly, revealing his cold azure blue eyes. They stare up at her with icy determination. Verruh finds only anger rising to meet that gaze. How dare he look at her that way? "Come" He speaks with disdain, daring her. Seeing the weapon she points at him, and remembering the name she had given it." Strike at me with your regrets. See what becomes of you." Somewhere, far away, she's aware of moving, of the sharp intake of breath as her eyes go impossible wide. Somewhere, far away, she's hears yells of alarm, and feel the hard wood under her boots as she leaps.  But here, in the real world inside her head, she can not pay attention to it now. She mustn't. She must act, she must destroy him before he destroys her. She must kill, silence that god who's declaring her doom as if it's in his right to give it. And it is. She's already dying, somewhere. She must stop it. She swings her Asphodel in an arch, the beautiful sword colliding with the aegis around Noctaemis, exploding in a burst of flames, which forces her back, the flames licking her armoured body.  It's enough to send shock waves through her cracking mind, tearing her from the dreamlike state of self preservation.    Brining her back to reality and the realisation of the horror of what she had just done. She had attacked him. She had attacked her Dark Dream with killing intent. Her eyes flick over the court, and then, she sees an escape and takes it. With all her might she sprints across the mud, fleeing her dark Dream wrath and the Obsession clawing at her mind. With a quick motion she swings her sword, the spores making short work of the spider webs that blocks the back gates and then she's splashing through the deeper water on the other side, running, away from her dark Dream, the Den, herself, everything.

Then she turns around, spinning on her heels. She knows the way out, parhaps, it was the ghost of the Gearmaster in her mind, parhaps she had a better memory than she though, but she knows the way out. And when she finds herself out in the darkened night she breaks into a sprint. Running for her life away from the lab, the root, it's sickening call and away, far far away, from the Sapling, The sapling that had dreamt of her.

It was warm, the sun relentlessly baked the clearing where Verruh was seated. The dirt was dry and brittle beneath her and very little grass grew in this place which gave the clearing a slightly barren feel. Her Dark Dream launged elegently on a boulder in the shade at the edge of the trees. His azure eyes regarded her with interest and she couldn't help but feel that he would judge her every move from now on. His hand rested lazily on the bald meaty head of his pet, a murello that he had named Miasma. He had told her, about two days ago now, how he had met the creature when it was but a pup, and how it had become his pet and companion over the years. She had not given it much though up untill now, now, she was painfully aware of how he was stroking the beast,s troking it in a loving manner.  The sight stirred an unfamilliar feeling inside of her which the knowledge granted from her Dream identified it as Jealousy. Meanwhile the beast, parhaps sensing her gace,  blinked it's beady eyes and glanced up at it's master, nuzziling closer.  It was enough to make her want to stand up and slap that hand away from the filthy beast. But she didn't, instead she just stared,  engraving each caress into her memory. That beast would die, one day, she vowed would be stong enough to kill it, and her dark dream would never  tuch it's head again. Her thought were interrupted by a russtle of leaves, coming from her right. Two unknown courtiers were dragging a strange sylvari into the clearing and dropped him with little care beside her.  She ignored them, they were unimportant in comparison to her Dark Dream, besides she could see enough from the corner of her eye to know that this will be another -test. More importantly, her Dark Dream nodded to the strangers, his vice ringing strangely hard in the silent clearing. " Thank you, Drethnar, Askel. You may remain and watch, if you'd like.  I am sure my darling Verruh will not dissapoint." Realising that something is expected of her she shifts her focus from the hand to his stunning eyes, and sees something that might be pride. So she was right, this was to be another test.  The first one had come on the same day they met, after her song had worked it's wonder. She had been asked to prove her devotion then, by helping the courtiers gather up the villagers that had his, feeling the courtiers in burrows and houses and cooling sellars..  Who would know the layout of the town better, they had said, than one of the villagers. And she had done it.  They hade come willingly to her when she had called out, glad to see her, praising the Pale tree that she was safe, and then, the courtiers had decended on them, like rabid dogs, tearing at flesh.   For a second she wondered what this test would be, then as if on que, she hears a low moan. The unconcious man was finally stirring, waking, eyes openiing with groggy effort. Verruh  glanced down at the brown sylvari by her side only to do a dubbel take, reccognising the form.   Virrull lay on his stomache, hands and feet bound behind his back, connected to his legs by a short rope, making it impossible for him to do little more than wiggle. His autoumn colored leafy hair was coated and sticky with sap that must have come from a deep gash at the crown of his hard barky head.  Verruh had a moment to analyze her feelings before her attention was once again drawn away by moment cought in the corner of her eye. Her Dark Dream had resumed his petting of the Murello, and she clenched her jaw in effort not to curse. Pat pat, it went. Each stroke felt like a hammer in her head, cushing her heart. Virrul shifted beside her, tormented by some sort of nightmare. eyes suddenly fluttering open in terror, darting back and forth in  disoriented alarm.  When his green eyes find Verruh he seems overcome with instantanious releif. "Verruh, thank the Pale tree you are safe!" Virruls voice sounds hoars from screaming and dehydration, yet, it's uncomfortably familliar to that which happened in the village. Even as he continues, struggling slightly against his binds." Verruh, how did you get here? Hurry  up, untie me. We have to find Arrilla... And the others. .. " Verruh ignores him, the disgusting Murrello seems to be taunting her now, it's revolting toung lolling out of it's mout as it pants in the heat, enjoying her Dark Dreams loving cuddles.  Uncertainty creeps into her friends voice and she can feel the growing panic escaping from him the same way she has felt every other emotion he offered to share over the years. . "Verruh? .. What are you looking at.. Why won't you say anything? " He strains, twisting his neck so much that it must hurt, untill he can see her Dark Dream. There is real fear in his voice when he speaks next, the gravity of the situsation starting to dawn on him. " Verruh.. Verruh, who is that.. Who is that man? Verruh .." She almost flinches when he raises his voice. " Verruh, look at me! Why won't you look at me?" She can hear herself answering, a soft reverance lacing each word, because some things need to be said, even if they should be rather obvious. "He is the one I dreamt of. " She doesn't flinch this time, as Virrull yells out. " The one you dreamt of?What are you talking about? Verruh, look at me!  Why aren't you running away? Why aren't you untiing me.. How.. How did you get here? We have to go,  we have to find Arrilla..  Help me!" Pat, pat goes her Dark Dreams hand, pat pat on the meaty creatures head. " Verruh! Where is Arrilla?! We have to go find her, come on, help me! " Verruh clenches her hands into tight fists, tearing her eyes away from Noctaemis and the hound to stare at her old friend instead. The sight of him so helpess, so hurt, and the fear in his eyes is almost enough to wake her from the dreamlike trance she's been in for the last cupple of days. But then she is reminded of the fact that her Dark Dream is watching her, and some things are expected of her now.  So she says, calmly, in a matter of fact sort of way: " My sweetling is dead, Virrull. I killed her. " It's amazing really, the way his eyes change from fear, concern and need, into disbelif, anger and then, hate. The way his lips move soundlessly at first, denying the information, almost as if she's tasting the truth and it is foul, he repeating the sentance, before it erupts into pure rage. " YOU DID WHAT?! She trusted you! How.. Why? She loved you! " Virrull struggled against his binds again, really only succeding in wobbling back and forth from elbow to elbow.  The sight would have been funny, where it not for the hate he was spewing in her direction. "You cunt! Why, Verruh?! Tell me why. Are you one of them? How long.. " She finds herself sighing, unimpressed by the mans anger. She had, of course, seen him angry before. When they had teased him, or when Arrilla had stolen one of his blankets to sleep in. But his anger then had been nothing like now, and somehow, it didn't suit him. And it felt oddly dissapointing to watch her companion break down into this ragefilled mess. Even as he was screamling profanities at her she found she had no anger to retort with, only a strange desier to make him understand. The world had been unfair and acted against her and she had had no choise. " She attacked him, what was I suppose to do, let him die? Don't you undretsand, Virrull, I have been waiting my entier life for him, and she was about to take him away from me. " He interupts her then, clearly unwilling to listen. "Take him away? YOU KILLED HER FOR THIS STRANGER? THIS SCUM? A fucking Courtier! You deserve to be hanged you filthy little peice of shit. How could you?! She loved you!" Verruh shakes her head, glancing over at her Dark Dream, he does nothing but watch her silently. He had explained that he wished to see what she could do with that knife of hers, and as she returned her gace to the enraged Sylvari she finds that she know -one- thing she can do with a knife, something that Virrulle had thouht her. Drawng her knife, she is shocked to find, even in the rage, hope in her friends eyes. Does he really think that she will cut his binds, set him free? He just insulted her Dark Dream, did he think she could forgive him for that? " Virrull, you are an idiot, yes? She loved you far more than me. I was just an excuse so that she could remain in the village, close to you. A convinient little charity work for the both of you. Well, look at him! He wasn't just some thing that I had dreamet up on my own! He was... no, he is real! " "Go fuck yourself Verruh, I hope you die, I hope you are used and killed by him! You will regret this! I swear of the Pale Tree and all that is good! You will regret betaying us! " She sighs, shaking her head again before she moves in, her hands feel oddly clumsy as one is used to spread the softer bark wide, and the other is used to cut into the skin, a shallow insicion. He curses her then with newfoun vigor, and she finds herself smiling at a oddly placed memory. Her, Virrule and Arrilla had just met, years ago, he was older than them both but they had all laughed heedlessly at the rather bad joke he had said. " Our names sound so similar, it's like our Mother ran out of imagination. "   Sadly, the memory is banished by the screaming as she starts peeling that brown bark away. Although screaming doesn't fully cover the whimepering, howling, pleading and whailing that her friend emits. His cheeks stained with tears, though she couldn't recall when he had started crying. Parhaps, it had been when she told him about Arilla. Somehow it matters little to her, this mans pain, the fate of the villagers, they blood on her hands. None of it matters. She can feel her Dark Dreams eyes upon her, watching and judging everything she does, and she knows, he will like the gift she will present to him. After all, it's precous,  once it belonged to someone dear to her.

Staring down at the Courtier she can't help but notice that he is not as far from death as she had hoped. The puddle of sap pooling around him is barely smaller than Arrilla’s. No, this must not happen; he cannot die, not now, not after what she has sacrificed, not after what she went through.  Not after what she just did. Verruh falls to her knees, lifting the barely conscious male to her chest and does the only thing she can think of. The song that erupts from her lips is wordless, filled with sorrow, pain and laced with power. Yes, this is what she's been missing all this time, the well of pure healing inside of her, suddenly she can tap into it, yet she never even knew it had been there. Briefly she wonders if this is a gift from the Nightmare, or from the man she is cradling. The thought is fleeting, distant because she is suddenly washed away by the power. Its surge takes her mind like a tidal wave, pulling her away from the world. She sings, and she sings and the Sylvari is healed, as are her own wounds and his eyes open and he smiles at her and she knows then, that she will never let this man go. He is her world now, her reason, the first life she saved. He belongs to her, and she cannot turn away from his glory.

I can feel your whisper around me I can hear your touch on my skin In your presence so suffocating Just one breath and I crumble within I can feel the world clear around me I can hear the stars in the sky You're not there whenever I'm seeing One step closer and my visions go dry One beam of light in shadows so bright Leaves me alone, I cannot recognize (What does it look like anyways) Down on my knees I'm begging you please Leave me alone, or I will not survive (Not that it matters anyways) I can smell the pain that surrounds you I can taste the tears in your eyes You're an actor manipulating I'm drawn in by your lovely disguise Chorus x2 Dark clouds unite no colors in sight Racing around, I cannot find you (Why do you always leave this way) Tears in my eyes invading the skies Blowing up sand, trying to blind me (Trembling in this blackened haze) You cannot take my heart You cannot break my heart