#veiled secrets

Satoru smirks at that, laughing and shaking his head. “I think she harbors some sort of fondness still, not love just…”

“Of the past?”

“Yes, I think she’d be upset if I killed him. Unfortunately.” Satoru crosses his arms over his chest, propping a foot on the wall now, peering across the way to see you walking through the gardens. “I’d love to bury him six feet under, where no one finds him, yet I don’t want to hurt her any more than everyone already does.”

“You’ve grown up a lot lately,” Satoru peers at him, blue eyes narrowing. “Since she’s been here.”

“I just want to be the man she deserves, and this fucking country isn’t allowing me to be.”

“She loves you,” Satoru’s cheeks heat up. “She truly does.”

“I know,” he starts walking again, nodding a bit as several servants curtsey toward him, his sandals quietly clicking against the wood of the trail towards the gardens. “She told me that last night.”

“Ah, last night,” Kiyotaka blushes, pushing up his monocle a bit. “I heard you all made quite a loud spectacle.”

“Mmhmm, sure did,” Satoru’s grinning far too big, his hands behind his head as he approaches you, your eyes glitter all fucking pretty when you see him, clutching to your gowns. “Can you blame me?”

“Not at all.”

“Don’t sound so wistful Kiyo,” he shoves him and Kiyo sighs, rolling his eyes, you cross your arms now.

“Don’t you be mean to Ijichi!”

“Thank you my lady,” he kisses your hand and you giggle all cute, Satoru is glad you’re married to him, he doesn’t trust that Kiyotaka isn’t some pussy eating prodigy after he got out of that brothel free of charge. “I should leave you to talk to the Emperor, I’ll convene with you both later.”

“Satoru,” you lean up and he cups your face, bending down to kiss you for all to see as they walk by and whisper, smiling against your lips. “I missed you and it’s only been a morning.”

“Is your cunt aching?” You snort and shove at him playfully, for him to catch your wrist and kiss the inside of it, but then he frowns a bit, taking your hand and walking you both away from prying eyes and gossip, until you’re well into the pretty maze he’d had built years ago.

“What’s wrong?” You ask softly, he turns you toward him, tilting your chin up, his lips set in a terse line unlike his usual parted lips. “Toru…”

“I love when you call me that,” he admits softly, hand brushing your lower back, tugging you close. “I love you.”

You blink back emotion, last night was so intense you didn’t know if he was in the moment, but now in the light of day you feel it – his love. You kiss his chin, hands placed on his chest, feeling his heart thud steadily underneath your palm. “I love you, Satoru Gojo.”

“God,” he’s kissing you now, desperately, hardly able to pull himself back. “Fuck I have to tell you something before I throw you down on the grass and rail your cunt.”

“Oh god!” He’s dead serious, there’s no mirth or teasing, just a raised brow. “You’re a mad emperor.”

“Yes I’m aware,” he brushes your hair back and sighs. “Well, I’m apparently needed for riots breaking out – just four days time, but this is a precarious fucking time right now.”

“It certainly is,” you whisper, shaking your head. “I wish I could go with you.”

“That would be far too dangerous, I would never risk you,” his hand comes to your tummy now. “And our future baby.”

“So I hope,” your voice is wistful, he can just see how badly you want this. “Still no period but I want to give it a little longer, sometimes it’s just late.”

“I hope you are, and not for the empire, for me.” You blink tears now, burning your eyes, making your vision swim.

“I hope I am too,” both of your lips press together, melding as the warmth of the sun casts heat across both of your skin. Satoru presses your back against the tree sat right in the middle of that maze. “I know you’ll be a good father.”

He pauses now, sighing and brushing his thumb over a flushed cheek, kissing it softly. “I want to be a good father. Have I told you I want a girl?”

“What?” You blink in surprise, tears swiped off by a flick of his thumbs. “You’d want a girl? But don’t you need a son?”

“Need this, need that,” he shakes his head, swallowing now nervously, emotions caught in his throat. “I want a daughter, I want a little mini you running around, demanding everything – probably will want her own kingdom, and I’ll give it all to her.”

“Satoru…” You can’t stop the tears that fall, lips pressing on his over and over, as he holds you so close. “You want a girl even if the entire country wants us to have a boy, and all that pressure, you still want it?”

“I do, but I’ll love any baby, boy or girl,” he whispers, the love for him making your heart shatter then.

This is love.

The pure, undying devotion in Satoru’s words, the love in his eyes, the careful way he holds you and says he wants a daughter. You can see it all unfolding, see her wrapping him around her finger, so vivid this image that you can’t stop crying, can’t stop kissing him, needing him – endless.

“Oh Toru I want that too,” you’re a mess, trembling, tears salty against his lips – your nose sniffling as he tilts your chin up higher. “I swear I can see it already.”

“Me too, god me too,” he’s grinning so big now, so bright it eclipses the very sun overhead. “I had a dream about it.”

“I wish for such dreams,” you sigh now, frowning a bit. “Mine were rather much like nightmares.”

“I forbid you to have nightmares while I’m gone.”

You laugh, even through your tears. “Forbid me hmm?”

“Only lewd sex dreams about me,” you smack at him and he picks you up, thighs around his hips, weight pushing the bark against the silk of your dress. “Have I told you how pretty you are crying?”

“You perverted man, mmm,” you love it, he knows you do – kissing you breathless, pressing his clothed cock against where you’re constantly throbbing. “I hope this never goes away, this need.”

“It won’t,” he exhales against your neck as he kisses up it. “I’ll fuck you even when my bones are old and frail, I’ll still lift your ass and fuck you right on this tree.”

“When we’re ninety!?”

“Yep,” you grin, hands entangled in his white hair. “It’s how I’ll die, trying to fuck you on this very tree, and you’ll die with me.”

“I certainly will, an orgasm from you when I’m ninety? I fear we’ll both have to be buried underneath this very tree,” he nips at your neck, making your eyes roll back. “Suguru was so wrong, you’ll love me even when I’m a relic.”

“He couldn’t be more fucking wrong,” he sighs and leans back a bit, nose brushing yours. “There’s no ‘shiny and new’ that could catch my eye, I want you until my last breath.”

“Satoru…” You desperately cling to him, ready to let him fuck you right out here – when you both hear voices, whispers. “Fuck.”

“Fuck indeed,” he eases you down, wincing and adjusting his throbbing cock. “I have to leave in a couple hours, I’m so sorry I have to leave you here.”

“Please don’t apologize for your duty,” you press little kisses all along his jawline now. “I will be here waiting, and yes, I'll touch myself in your bed.”

“Please mess up my sheets,” you giggle at his lewd whisper, until his mood grows serious.

“What is it?”

“Kiyo will stay to keep an eye on you, but I don’t trust that dumb knight,” you nod, his voice is just a breath, careful so only you hear. “I have a lawyer coming to help get rid of those girls, you will meet with him tonight discreetly with Kiyo. All right?”

“Yes of course,” you nod eagerly, Satoru snatches up your hand and walks right past some of the girls who are taking to the gardens, ignoring every single one of them, his eyes on your hand in his. “I hope we’re able to be alone together, just us.”

“I’ll make it happen sweetheart,” he smiles and melts your heart. “Just please be careful, stick to Kiyo, mama and Miwa please.”

“You sound very worried,” you turn and look at him as you all walk towards the front palace now. “Is everything all right?”

“I just have a feeling something’s off,” he looks around, making sure no one is within ear shot. “I can’t explain but please listen to me. Don’t be a stubborn brat.”

“I am not the brat in this relationship.”

“Excuse me!?”

You’re giggling again. “I will stay to myself and be careful, I don’t want to be around Suguru anymore than you want me to.”

“And stay away from the concubines,” you tilt your head curiously. “Promise me, I don’t know what this feeling is but anyone who could hurt you right now I need you to avoid.”

“All right Toru,” he sighs in relief, kissing your forehead. “I’ll stick with Mama, Miwa and Kiyo and if I’m not with them I’ll be in my chambers.”

“Good girl,” you heat up at that, and he knows it too with his smirk. “I hope you’re good and pregnant when I’m back.”

*****

“My lady,” the barrister and Kiyotaka both bow when you enter Kiyotaka’s office after a teary eyed departure with your husband, he shuts the door behind you as the dark haired man takes your hand. “Higuruma.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, truly,” you say softly, instantly at ease with the man, much like how Kiyotaka makes you feel, he presses a kiss to the back of your hand, making you just a bit flustered. “It was so kind of you to come on such notice.”

“I must admit usually my proceedings are impossible divorces that require the utmost attention,” he lets your hand down and smiles, a tired little smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. “To hear of a ruler who wants to only be with his wife rather than leave her and marry a mistress? A fucking delight. I was so bored.”

You laugh softly, fiddling a bit with your hands in front of you. “I am very lucky Satoru is so devoted, truly yet…”

You trail off and sigh, shutting your eyes.

“I feel it’s all my fault for being terribly jealous, and quite… how do I word this properly…”

“Posessive?” Kiyotaka says, you giggle again, peeking at him. “I’m so sorry my lady I…”

“No, I am possessive I’m afraid,” you sigh and sit in the chair that he pulls out for you. “Thank you very much.”

“Of course,” Higuruma sits on the desk rather than the seat, peeking at the stack of papers. “So Lola is the one who raised a hand to you, correct?”

“She did try to smack me.”

“Smacking an Empress is insane work,” Hiromi frowns, his dark brows drawing together now. “And nonstop antagonizing of you it seems from several accounts I was able to pull.”

“Oh yes they constantly do,” you murmur, settling into the seat a bit. “I think it’s a little excessive because Satoru ignores them.”

“Well who would blame him,” you blush and he curses. “I’m sorry…”

“No that’s sweet, thank you Sir,” he blushes just a bit, walking around to sit in his chair now, pulling a pen out. “It’s very kind of you to say so.”

“I have heard from many sources you two are a lovely match,” Hiromi smiles at Kiyotaka. “Especially from him.”

“Well of course, Ijichi loves the emperor.”

“I’ve heard more about you,” it’s Ijichi’s turn to blush, you’re giggling at him.

“Empress, please…”

“I’m sorry it’s so cute,” you stand now and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re here while Satoru is gone.”

“I shall keep you safe,” you smile and then look back at the lawyer who’s yawning.

“Sir please rest.”

“Not yet.”

“Have a meal and relax a bit,” you say firmly. “Do you think there’s a possibility to… grant Satoru his freedom?”

“I do, it may be rather complicated, but using the girls ill intent towards you – especially that banished maid? That could make things much easier.”

“I really hope so,” you close your eyes now. What are your other options, really? Deal with them forever or do what Satoru suggests and run off to the mountains somewhere? Where would that leave the country? His family?

“We will make it work.” Hiromi assures you. “I will take you up on the meal and the rest, hmm?”

“Good! I should rest as well. We’ll talk more when Satoru gets back.”

“I’ll be gathering evidence until then,” he walks by and bows just a bit at the waist, leaving you and Ijichi alone.

“You really love me, hmm?”

“Empress! Don’t do that to me,” you’re a giggling mess now, he flicks you on the forehead. “You are becoming just like him, what a terrible influence!”

“You love us,” you loop your arm through his now. “All right you said you’re not to leave my side, walk me up to my room please?”

He sighs, patting your hand. “Of course Empress.”

You want to say you say super strong, but when you lay in Satoru’s – well you both share this bed now – bed you feel an overwhelming emptiness, so much so it steals your breath. When it’s quiet and it’s just you, the only light the candle flickering on the table next to you, casting shadows of your silhouette on the wall, just waiting for him to come home, knowing it’ll be days.

Tears spill as you inhale his scent on the blue satin pillow, hugging it tightly and crying against it, you’ve been through time without Satoru before but you feel as if you just got him back home. Just to have him leave again, and not knowing if he’s safe or all right keeps you up with worry, until the candle wanes and you get so exhausted you crash, but it’s already dawn.

*****

Satoru hates going away from you – that time he had to leave for almost an entire month was horrible, and it was really before your relationship had developed this deeply, before you two spoke of love. Tentative and new then, and it hurt to be away from you, he ached for you.

Yet this time felt worse – like a piece of his heart was missing. You were his heart though – of course it was ripped out of his chest any time he had to leave, and in such a precarious position.

Why can’t he shake this feeling he has? This ominous one that’s crushing him? It’s been two days and he’s hoping to cut it short as negotiations were going smoothly, but even that felt not soon enough. He’s laying down in the bed they set up for him inside the tent, staring up at the ceiling and picturing you here next to him.

Would you snuggle to his side and kiss his neck?

Or would you be the needy girl you are and climb on top of him, kissing down his chest, his abdomen – pressing little ones on every single battle scar you could find, your hand slipping even lower. Would you take him right down your pretty throat and touch yourself because you get so wet?

The thoughts ruin him – are you in his bed right now touching yourself, thinking of him like he asked you to? Are you sliding your fingers in your messy little cunt and getting all frustrated that it doesn’t work? Satoru pictures it as he wraps his hand around his own cock, sucking in a breath at the sensation – he’d jerked it many times while he was gone, imagining filling you up.

He was never a man to before, but you drive him so fucking insane, how can he not? When thoughts of you constantly flood his mind to the point of insanity? He knows you would make him feel better, knows you’d swallow him devotedly, picturing your pretty mouth and that throat contracting around his length instead of his big ass hands is maddening.

He’s stroking and whispering your name – mixed with ‘sweetheart, my empress, w-wife’ as he stutters, jerking it faster with his eyes fluttering closed, picturing just how you’d look when you swallowed all his cum down your throat. How you wouldn’t leave a single drop, would you? No you’re too thirsty for it, you need all of it.

“That’s it baby, take all of it – mnh,” Satoru’s moaning as he makes a mess of his hand, white ropes that should be buried in your tummy instead streaking his hand with white. “Fuck…”

He can’t stand another day without you.

He meant every word he said by that tree, Satoru would never get over you, never tire of how you make him feel, the love he has. You would be beautiful at any age, after however many children you have – he wants to make sure you’ll know that too, especially with Suguru trying to get in your head. It’s just all you he sees, especially as he sleeps.

Yet it’s a nightmare again, of you dying in his arms.

Satoru’s had them two nights in a row, this time his entire body is in chills and broken out in a sweat, heart hammering in his chest. He tugs on his clothes quickly and rushes out – surely it’s nonsense, surely it’s his nerves, but he can’t take another night like this. No, he marches right out and snags up a carriage, and lets everyone know they can finish without him.

He needs to go home.

*****

Satoru will be home tomorrow some time – and god you can’t wait to see him again. You’ve missed him so much you’re sick from it, the thoughts of if he’s all right, not being able to know whatsoever. He’s not gone long enough for letters, but even when he was gone the month it was terrible on your very heart and soul.

The good news was that over the past days with the barrister Hiromi Higuruma, you’ve been feeling much better about a world where it’s just the two of you. He seems utterly knowledgeable and for the first time you’re… hopeful.

You’re so hopeful, especially since you still haven’t had your monthlies, your breasts and nipples are so tender. To think you could have Satoru Gojo’s baby inside your tummy makes you realize how this is your dream, what you thought was rushing off to marry a knight ended up being brought to the emperor.

You bite your lower lip, looking down at the pen and paper on the vanity – you’ve been writing Gojo every single day he’s been gone, as he asked you to before he left. His own love letters, and you make sure to pour every bit these past few days, all of the words you struggle sometimes to say the right way.

Knock knock knock.

“Oh hello,” you blink curiously at the new maid – you’ve seen her only once before. “Where is Miwa?”

“She was feeling ill, your majesty, she asked if I could step in and offer you tea and treats for the night,” you smile gratefully, the maid sets the tray down. “Should I help you brush your hair?”

“Yes please,” you turn and peer at your paper where you’re writing Satoru of all the things you want to say when he returns.

That you want a daughter too, you want to see the all mighty Emperor Gojo just sipping tea with a little girl that looks like you both – maybe she’d have that white hair, and your eyes. Or she would have pretty blue eyes like the Gojos did, and take after your hair coloring, you could see her in so many ways, giggling as he sips from some teeny ceramic tea cup.

You want to let him know you are dreaming of it, that you adore every moment you get with him.

That you’re so very glad you were sent here – no matter the rocky start, and that you will never hold a thing against him in the beginning. That it all means so much, everything he’s going through to change his entire world for you and all that entails, all the risk involved because he loves you that much. Your hands tremble just a bit as the maid brushes hard, pricking pain on your scalp.

“Ah!”

“So sorry,” she mumbles, you smile at her.

“No, please, it looks so pretty already, thank you,” you stand and take the brush from her hand gently. “I’ve only seen you once, what’s your name?”

“It’s Tian, your excellence”

“Thank you, Tian…” you sit down on the little chaise lounge by the foot of your bed, taking the tea and pouring in a little milk, stirring it. “It’s so kind of you to help Miwa, truly.”

“It is no problem,” she smiles then and something…

Seems familiar?

But you’d remember those freckles and thick brows, surely if you knew her. It must be some resemblance?

“I hear you may be with child, is that too bold to say?” She asks, you are just a bit surprised, but you’re sure they are speculating.

“No, no,” you rub your tummy and smile. “I think I may be, but I’m keeping it under wraps until we know for certain. Gossip travels, hmm?”

“Indeed, well I hope that you are,” she curtseys as you sip the tea, wincing just a bit at the bitter flavor. “Something wrong, your excellence?”

“What’s in this, Tian?”

“Oh it’s actually a tea from my town, it’s special and it can help with fertility – in case you are not. Perhaps a little more syrup and sugar?”

“That’s so kind,” you lean back and pour more sugar in it. “Oh, so good now! Thank you Tian, I shall rest I think.”

“Of course, your majesty,” ‘Tian’ or – former concubine Lola – curtseys once more, shutting your door and grinning, turning and running right into Suguru’s hard body. “What are you doing here?”

“I should ask you the same thing,” Lola simply shrugs at the big glaring knight, brushing herself off. “Aren’t you supposed to be seducing the emperor?”

“How, when he’s out of town? I just stopped to give her tea, all right? You should save yourself the trouble, she doesn’t want to see you. She’s…” Lola laughs then. “Pregnant for the moment.”

“For the moment?” She leans up and kisses Suguru on the lips, he pulls back, glaring down at her. “What are you on about?”

“Time for me to wait for Satoru, he’s returning this morning, isn’t he? Well, I must look my best, these shitty maid clothes won’t do.”

“What the fuck are you…” She rushes off, leaving Suguru to blink in confusion, before glaring at the note in his hand.

Something’s not right.

Suguru heads toward your chambers – he knows he fucking shouldn’t, he knows for all the reasons you hate him, that he sent you away, that it all was a fucking lie. Yet Suguru does have feelings, strong feelings that eat him up inside, and thinking of you pregnant with Satoru Gojo’s baby has him so envious he’s sick.

You wanted to run away with him – a simple knight, you tried, you truly did and he never gave you the chance. Now with your letter you wrote having been intercepted at a post and brought to him here, he can’t help but feel fucking horrible. The love you poured, the way your heart was broken, how deeply you were hurt at first clearly by leaving here.

Did you feel any of that?

He opens your door and you look up, gasping, standing straight up in a night gown that covers nothing, so sheer he can see your pretty body. “Suguru you can’t be up here!”

“I just came to talk, please,” you scowl and shut the door quickly, shoving at him until he’s pressed into the door.

“You could have me ruined if anyone saw you!” You hiss angrily, heart hammering in your chest – anger, regret, this past love you had that has hurt you so bad it’s physically painful.

“No one will come up, I was discreet,” Suguru holds up the letter you wrote when you first arrived, and your heart drops. “I saw this.”

You gasp, stepping back, tears swimming in your eyes, shaking your head quickly.

“I read it.”

“I wish you hadn’t,” you swipe at your cheeks, shaking your head, suddenly weak and dizzy – was it from seeing him? “It was under false pretenses.”

“You did love me,” he whispers, cupping your face with one hand. “You truly did, didn’t you?”

“I thought I did Suguru,” you admit, breaths coming quicker, suddenly the room is shrinking in on you, growing smaller by the moment. “Yet I know now what true love is, and not the falsehoods of a knight – who touched me to get information. Who had me cum on his fingers for a goal.”

“Princess-”

“Empress,” you correct, Suguru swallows now, the guilt of hurting you washing over him. “I’m his empress.”

His jaw sets. “You were my princess.”

“I am not anymore,” you stumble now, and Suguru frowns. “I just… Suguru I… can you just…”

“What’s wrong?” He demands, you’re almost collapsing in his arms, your eyes drooping, a drop of blood pouring from your lips. “What’s wrong!? What happened, did you… princess…!”

“S-suguru…” You fall against him, listless and limp, when Suguru sees that fucking cup of tea still steaming hot.

Did Lola…

Did she fucking poison you?

And it’s him who let her in.

“Fuck, fuck,” he picks you up in his arms and rushes down the halls, catching sight of Kiyotaka who’s scowling right at him. “Please, it wasn’t me who did this.”

“Did what!? Oh, Empress,” Kiyo’s heart shatters when he sees you just limply hanging in Sir Geto’s hold. “Speak, now.”

“Not here, she needs an apothecary, and a medic – well versed with poisons,” Ijichi snatches you up in his arms, the last thing he’s doing is letting this man hold Emperor Gojo’s wife.

“Then come and fucking explain,” he carries you through the halls that are thankfully quiet, Suguru curses.

“I can hold her better than you.”

“I hold her just fine, I won’t have you touching her,” Kiyotaka turns the corner and rushes with you cradled in his arms, not making a goddamn sound. “Who poisoned her?”

“She’s a former concubine.”

Kiyotaka stops in his tracks, jaw setting. “Lola?”

“Yes,” his hands tighten their hold around your body, cursing internally – he promised Satoru he’d protect you, he gave his word, and she’s been right under their noses? “I think at least, in her tea, she hates Satoru and I suppose resents her  – but she promised not to hurt her.”

“And you fucking believed that? She hates the Empress more than anyone,” Suguru curses, the guilt eating at him, seeing your body like this terrifying – even your color is different. “No time for this.”

Suguru follows him until they’re in the doctor’s quarters, he doesn’t bother to knock, he just juts the door open with his shoulders. “Bloody hell… oh!? What’s wrong with the Empress?”

“Poison,” Kiyotaka quickly lays you on the doctor’s own bed, scowling at Suguru now, when Dowager Empress Gojo walks by, gasping. “Thank god you’re here, my Lady.”

“What happened to her!? Kiyotaka…” She instantly sits on the bed, picking your head up and gasping out when she sees the blood dripping down your mouth. “She must be okay – she must! Her and the baby… she thinks she is…”

“I need someone familiar with poisons,” Ijichi says, while Dowager Empress holds you close, panicking clearly – and Suguru stands there in horror – not that Kiyotaka cares for him, he hates that fucking failed knight almost as much as Emperor Gojo does.

“I believe there’s a girl visiting the palace with an envoy,” Miwa says as she enters the room, she’s already been informed but to see you like this had her devastated. “Oh goodness.”

“Information please, Miwa,” Ijichi puts a hand on her shoulder, she’s already trembling. “She will be fine I swear it, I won’t let her die.”

“Oh god I just…” She closes her eyes now, taking a shaky breath for courage. “Her name is Maomao I believe? She’s a young lady and very experienced – she came along with Master Jinshi.”

“Then certainly we can trust her,” Dowager Empress Gojo says, sniffling still, rare tears on her usually stoic face. “He’s a very good judge of character.”

“Can you fetch them, Miwa?” Ijichi asks Miwa softly, she nods now, but rushes over to press a little kiss on your head, tears dripping from her eyes onto your face, but you don’t move.

“Please be all right,” she whispers, Gojo’s mother touches Miwa’s cheek as she gathers her robes up. “I will rush there straight away!”

“Thank you Miwa,” the doctor asks Gojo’s mother to move so he can attend to her, she heads straight over to Suguru now.

“Oh, so you’re that knight, huh?”

“I… yes -” She smacks him hard in the face not once – but twice, the loud clap against his skin echoing in the room.

Suguru has no words, and god help him if he did decide to speak any in that very moment.

“That’s for whatever the fuck you did to my daugher in law, I just know you did something to her,” Suguru sighs now, looking down and rubbing his cheek. “This girl was pining away so hard for you that she felt guilty loving Satoru, now you come and do this!?”

Suguru’s lips part, red mark on his cheek blossoming. “You must understand me, I didn’t do this, I’d never hurt –”

“You did something,” she shoves him once more, he clearly lets her, resigned and looking ashamed – not that Kiyotaka feels sorry for him, not when he was the idiot who let that woman back in the palace.

Gojo had wanted to kill Lola at the time but you had talked him out of it, even if you were a feisty girl you could be kind, and Ijichi knows how sweet you can be when you don’t have to be so brave. He can’t stop his own heart from hurting but he must not cry – Gojo would need him to take care of things and keep a clear head, so that’s what he does.

He starts giving orders to everyone, they all rush off as Miwa comes back with the girl in tow – a green haired girl who doesn’t look old enough to be an apothecary sweeps inside, she comes over and carefully starts examining you. Tugging your eyelids open and peering at each one to see the dilation.

“What do you think?” The doctor asks, she hums just a bit, feeling the pulse on your wrist.

“She is clearly poisoned, but her pulse is fluttering quite strong, so she’s fighting it,” she frowns and sits down on the bed next to you, assessing you carefully. “What was the method of delivering the poison to her?”

“It was… I think it must have been in her tea as it was just delivered when I saw her, I can get the teacup,” Suguru offers quietly.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Ijichi orders. 

“I can tell what this is already.”

“What is it?” Ijichi asks quietly.

“Arsenic, maybe belladonna too,” the apothecary frantically starts searching in their book. “I think I have the herbs to make a tonic, but I have to gather them, please keep her stable.”

“Of course,” the guard rushes up now, and Kiyotaka addresses them. “The former concubine Lola is on the palace grounds, search every corridor until you find her, and make sure she’s apprehended.”

“Yes sir!” They rush off and Kiyotaka looks back at where you lay, so helpless in that bed, unmoving, and panic fills his heart.

You have to be okay.

*****

“God I can’t wait to see her,” Satoru’s coming home just a little early, they rode through the night so he didn’t have to spend another night without his bride. The carriage wheels come to a halt in front of the palace and he jumps out, the grin on his face dying when he sees all his guards everywhere. “What the…”

He grabs his sword, when one of the guards comes to him. “Your excellence, it’s the Empress.”

Satoru’s heart drops.

“What about my Empress? What about her!?”

“She’s… she’s been… you must come, not with us,” Satoru rushes and follows the guard, they’re all over searching every maid, making him even more confused as chaos has erupted in his palace.

“What are they searching for? Where is she!?”

“Please just come,” Satoru almost gets sick when he sees where they’re headed – the doctor’s chambers.

He falters, dread filling his fucking soul – he can’t lose the girl he just found, the love of his life, the love of all his lifetimes better goddamn be alive, or Satoru will simply kill anyone and everyone who ever fucked with their happiness. His breath is caught in his throat, seeing you in that bed now, swallowing down bile, seeing Suguru, Ijichi, Miwa, his mom, the doctor and a goddamn apothecary surrounding you.

They all look at him as he walks in, Suguru looks down and Satoru can't wait to fucking kill him. His mother is in tears and so is Miwa, they're trying to get you to sit up but you're listless, unmoving, crimson dripping from your nostrils.

Satoru can't fucking breathe.

“What. Happened. To. My fucking WIFE!?!?”

Satoru rushes and his mom moves, letting him pick you up, tears streaming down his cheeks at the sight of you like this. What would he do without you, when he just got you in his life? When he just told you he loved you – before your lives together, before children, how can any of this ever be liveable if you’re not by his side?

“Sweetheart please,” he tilts your chin up just for it to flop to the side, making dread fill him, he scowls at the doctor and apothecary. “What happened to her? Answer, one of you, now.”

“She was poisoned,” that’s the dumb fucking knight, Satoru scoffs and glares at him, ready to cut him into fucking pieces.

“By your fucking doing, isn’t it? So mad she rejected your goddamn advances?” He pulls you closer, trying to hear if you’re breathing.

“I didn’t know she would… I swear I didn’t, I wouldn’t have hurt her,” Satoru cuts him off, his tears just fucking annoying him.

“Who? Who the fuck is her?”

“Lola,” Ijichi answers, the medic comes and takes your hand, pricking it with a needle and letting drops of blood hit a little disc.

Satoru smacks his hand and the medic just bows and holds his hand out, “Care to explain why are you making my wife fucking bleed more!?”

“Blood letting-”

“That is nonsense,” the apothecary girl is mixing together some sort of odd smelling herbs in a jar, as Satoru tries to process just what the fuck happened. “What is that, kid?”

“I’m not a kid,” he rolls his eyes and she smiles just a bit, looking at how tightly Satoru is holding you. “You love her.”

“Of course I do,” he nuzzles your cheek, wrapping you in his big arms, his robes covering most of you. “She’s my wife.”

The way Satoru says ‘my wife’ breaks everyone’s heart – even Suguru if he admits it to himself, still in such shock he can’t move or speak. All he can do is see the hints of your unconscious face. Maomao is back mixing when Kiyotaka comes up to Satoru and bows at the waist.

“I’m so sorry this slipped under my nose,” Ijichi says, Satoru softens then, swallowing down his emotions and shaking his head, even if he’s furious and distraught, he knows Kiyotaka isn’t at fault. “I should have known.”

“Don’t take the blame for what’s his fault,” Satoru’s scowling at Suguru again. “You couldn’t let her be happy, huh? Mad she got rid of your fake ass counterfeit necklace, are you?”

“God no I-”

“I have it ready,” Maomao clearly works quickly, she’s already got a little mixture ready in a tiny vial, Satoru’s shaking he’s so petrified it won’t work.

“What are you giving her?”

“It’s a mix of herbs that counteract it and help purge from her system, it seems she didn’t consume too much as she’s still got strong vitals.

“She is stubborn,” Satoru almost breaks down as he looks at you, hardly able to keep it together. “Will it work quickly?”

“If the poison is strong, this may take time – but it will stabilize her,” she says, Satoru nods quickly, swiping the blood off the corner of your mouth, his stomach sinking at the sight of the crimson against your skin. “Can you get her to open? She’ll have to swallow.”

It’s quiet as Satoru helplessly sits you up, gently trying to pry open your mouth, his tears hot and burning from his eyes and spilling freely down his cheeks, heart in fucking pieces. He’s been in battles and wars and he’s never felt this terror – not knowing if you’ll wake up, and if you did and you were pregnant…

Would you lose it? That would tear you apart.

He would hurt for you – even if there could be others, but you were just so damn hopeful that day as he kissed you on the tree, and he could picture this perfect life – only to be filled with this sense of dread, with the pain deep and building. With the fear of not looking into your pretty eyes once more – he can’t fucking go on.

It sounds insane to think it, that in a couple short months you became that precious – but you have, given Satoru the meaning he always sought. All he wanted was to make you happy, and never hurt you – to kill everyone who has ever hurt you, and oh he will do that, he’ll make sure he finishes the job with Lola this time. You were too sweet, and now you’re hurt because of it.

He won’t be sweet.

Satoru opens up your mouth carefully, it’s clamped down with how tightly your teeth are clenched together, but you finally relax it, opening up for the tonic the apothecary has made. "Drink, baby. Please. You have to drink."

Satoru gently urges it down your mouth, tilting your head up so it slips down your throat, he sighs in relief albeit temporary, resting his head on yours, tears falling against your skin. He wraps you so tightly in his arms, pressing kisses over and over and over on your face, he hears the sobs of Miwa, his mom, dumb fuckin Suguru looking like his world ended.

His world will end the moment you wake up and are safe enough for him to leave your side for a moment, though he knows already he’ll need this dumb knight if he wants to get these sluts away from his pretty Empress.

“Lola did this?” Satoru asks quietly, his voice dark, Suguru sighs as the medic patches that little cut up on your finger.

“We are trying to apprehend her,” Ijichi says, Satoru’s mom puts a hand on her son’s shoulder, her other one brushing your hair back.

“She’s strong Satoru, she’ll make it,” she says softly, he cries even more with her comfort, eliciting every emotion from him. “Won’t she?”

“She likely will, we caught it early,” MaoMao says softly – as if on cue you moan then, coughing up blood, Satoru and the entire room are on edge as MaoMao carefully brushes a handkerchief on your lips. “That’s actually a very good sign, your excellence.”

You don’t open your eyes, but you’re coughing and moving, you’re sitting up against Satoru’s chest when he helps you, as you cough over and over. The guards come rushing in the room now, and pause when they see Satoru on the bed, Ijichi quickly commands them to speak.

“We’ve apprehended several servants that fit her description, we will need you to pick her out,” Ijichi nods now.

“Don’t kill her yet,” Satoru says softly to the guards. “I want to kill her myself,” he looks at Suguru then. “We can bury the two of you together.”

Suguru says nothing, crossing his arms and just staring at you in horror, as if the dumb man really cared. Maybe he does, but Satoru can’t admit that just yet – not with his hatred consuming him.

“Why haven’t you arrested me?” Suguru asks, Satoru just sighs, burying his face against you again, hearing your breathing steady and feeling such relief when your hands clutch his robe.

“I will need you to explain exactly what you did, I’ll need it against Lola…” He cries silently when you grip his arm tightly, coughing more against him – albeit still unconscious. “I’ll need the barrister to meet me, Ijichi. Can you keep this knight under watch for now?”

“Can I not stay with her-”

“NO YOU CANNOT.” Satoru’s words silence everyone, echoing in the chamber and so fucking loud half the palace hears it. “I want to be alone with her if she’s stable enough. Just me until she wakes up.”

“Toru,” he looks at his mom and sighs. “Are you sure you don’t want me here, do you need to get settled at least, you’re still in military garb.”

He’s not even noticed. “How can I leave her, mom?”

“A few moments is fine, I’ll be here,” he shuts his eyes and presses another kiss as you stir. “Surely you need a word with him, hmm?”

Satoru looks at Suguru’s reddened cheek now. “I see, did you smack him, mama?”

“I did.” Satoru grins at that.

“I do need a moment with him it’s true,” Satoru kisses you once more, sighing and brushing his thumb across your cheek that’s got just a hint of warmth. “I’ll be right back, my love.”

Everyone in the room melts aside from Suguru – why would he when he’s in this state of devastated shock?

Satoru quickly changes and comes to where Ijichi has brought Suguru, he quickly steps out and shuts the doors with a loud click, leaving the two men to stare at each other. Dark, exhausted eyes meeting ones so blue they’re hard to look at, glacial and cold, the silence echoing aside from Satoru’s footsteps on the floor.

Silence – that is until Satoru walks up and punches him in the face with a sickening crack. He winces but he takes the hit standing, not raising his own fists.

“At least you’re not a complete fucking idiot,” Satoru shoves him against the wall, a hand on his throat. “I should cut your dick off and cook it for you, make you a eunuch huh?”

“I didn’t know, she told me she wanted to hurt you, kill you I didn’t fucking care,” Suguru grips Satoru’s wrist. “I wanted to take her back with me, to have her help me take over – with a Princess the people would accept me easier.”

“So you meant to use her more than you already have,” Satoru punches his stomach now, earning a wince. “You can take a hit, you little fuck. I’ll at least give you that.”

“Lola said she hated you, and I fucking hate you, so I saw a perfect opportunity, I didn’t know she’d be blinded by your bullshit like the entire nation is.”

“Do you know how much she loved you?” Suguru pauses, Satoru punches him again, he still doesn’t move, holding his ribs which he’s sure are cracked, coughing but still standing. “Had her mind full of your nonsense about dewy fucking roses, what a fucking fool you are.”

“I am a fool,” he admits softly, taking a breath now, shutting his eyes. “I didn’t realize before that she was different from the other nobles. I didn’t know she really meant anything by her words.”

“Your bullshit is getting on my last damn nerve, if anything happens to her I swear to god I’ll-”

“You can kill me if it does,” Suguru says now, tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to live with myself if I killed her.”

“Fuck you,” he backs off now, sighing and rushing a hand through his hair, punching the wall next with already bloody knuckles, so hard books go flying off the shelves and scatter. “I swear I hate you more than I hate anyone, except that evil little whore Lola, that is. Let me guess, she sucked you stupid?”

“She’s not very good at that, actually.” Satoru shuts his eyes, sitting on his desk and grimacing. “Also, the Empress… she did turn me down. Utterly, when I kissed her she… smacked me.”

“Of course she did, that’s my girl,” his lips twitch affectionately, and Suguru steps closer, making him glare once more.

“You do love her.”

“Of course I do – stop trying to make me not want to kill you, it won’t work,” he scowls again, leaning over his desk to grab a cloth there, wrapping his fist tightly where his knuckles are throbbing. “What were Lola’s ‘plans’ then?”

The knight sighs. “She claimed she hated you for choosing the empress over her, and she wanted to poison you – and yes, I was going to let her. I fucking hate royalty, all of you, and I thought I could get her back.”

“She’d never go with you,” Suguru lowers his gaze, the note in his pocket that showed how desperately you did want to leave Satoru – but it was before you fell in love, clearly. “What are you so silent about?”

Suguru decides the last thing he should do is fucking hurt you more. “She does love you, and I’m furious she forgot about me.”

“She didn’t forget, she had to move on,” Satoru says, rolling his eyes then. “Trust me, you were the source of much fucking contention.”

“Contention?”

“Let’s say I ripped your shitty necklace off – her neck is too pretty for it, truly, but she was quite mad about it. I haven’t told her, you know, that it’s fake.”

“I… why didn’t you? To make me look horrible?”

“Tch, I wouldn’t hurt her like that,” Satoru shuts his eyes again, the trip and every emotion exhausting him. “You are a goddamn fool if you couldn’t see how much Lola hated her.”

Suguru is silent, looking down as he holds his ribcage gingerly.

“You’ll testify against her, yes?” He blinks in confusion.

“Won’t you murder me?”

“I’ll settle for you helping me rid of these goddamn concubines, and this should fucking do it – though I hate it came to this,” he shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes once more. “Yet I know she’d want me to use any method to get rid of these girls once and for all.”

“You don’t want them?”

“Why would I? I have her,” Suguru’s brows draw together.

“I saw you and…”

“I have to put on a show,” he hops down, shoving Suguru again, so hard he slams the wall and more books go flying, pinning him now. “You did enough damage, you just had to do more? What did that girl ever fucking do to you!? Huh? Love you and beg to leave with you – a broke ass knight?”

“I didn’t know she really… I never meant…”

“Never this, never that,” Satoru lets him go and scoffs. “Will you testify? I’ll keep your part out of it.”

“Yes of course,” he blinks now, looking in Satoru’s mad gaze. “What will you do with Lola?”

“Throw her off the top of a building,” Suguru snorts and Satoru raises a brow. “Something funny?”

“No that sounds like something I’d like to do as well, of course I’ll testify – but what are your plans for me?”

“I’ll let my wife decide what I should do with you,” Satoru opens the door now. “Guards, keep this man under your watch.”

He is back in the medic’s room in moments, you’re snuggling against his mother tightly, your arms wrapped around her waist, and his heart melts at the sight – of the two women he loves so much, he has cried more today than he thought he could, but he feels no shame over it like he would before. He will feel every feeling today so that he remembers what Lola did, and how much he needs you in his life.

Maomao comes up to Satoru and puts a hand on his arm. “What is it, kid?”

She sighs, rolling her eyes now. “She’s quite stable, color coming back, she’s moving around and breathing well. I have every hope she’ll wake up soon – then I’ll need to do a few more tests. I heard she…”

“Yes maybe,” their voices are quiet as people come in and out of the room. “Would you check when she’s better if…”

“Of course, I would,” he exhales in relief – he doesn’t want a man touching his damn wife, especially after all of this. “I’ll be here for at least a week, I’ll make sure to keep an eye.”

“Can she be brought to my chambers?”

*****

It’s hours later, Satoru still watches you sleep, he had Hiromi meet him up there along with Ijichi so he wouldn’t have to leave, Lola was easily identified despite her disguise and is now behind bars for just the moment – until Satoru can at least get some damn use from that woman and have her make his empire one where he only had one woman.

You.

It’s late and Maomao has already given him instructions if you wake, the doctor administered fluids to try to flush any poison out, leaving him silently just looking at you in his bed as the last person leaves – your bed. Both of you have kissed and fought, have made love and fucked, hate sex and sweet kisses, you are everything and anything all at once to him.

He sees a letter sitting there on the vanity and peeks at it curiously, when he lifts it and sees your pretty handwriting he can’t help but read it.

Satoru,

You scratched that out.

Toru,

The palace feels so much larger and emptier when you're away, I am not alone so do not fear – but without you it’s as if this home is missing, you have become my home in this short time. Once I thought there was no way you could ever care for me, could ever choose me, but you’ve shown time and time again how much you have.

I would regret every fight, every smack I gave you and every tear I shed, but how can I when that’s made us so close? When you saw parts of me the world could never see, parts that I hid under a pretense of perfection, and you let me see parts of you, ones I ache to see more of.

The man who truly cares of his subjects, the man who loves his mama to distraction (i love her too) the very same man who adores his wife enough to tell her he wants a daughter. Oh Satoru so do I – so badly do I want to see you braiding our little girls hair, teaching her to ride a pony, trying to beat her at chest competitively the moment she’s old enough to hold a pawn in her hand.

I never imagined I would be so completely, hopelessly in love with my Emperor, with this arrogant, beautiful and infuriating man. With the man who drives me as insane with love as he makes me laugh, as he brings out every competitive part of me, challenges me. Fell in love with the man who saw not just a princess standing there, but saw me.

The true me, the real me, the one who is bratty and can be hasty, who is messy and passionate, who is ever so jealous and possessive of her husband – of you. Yet you accept all of me.

I love you and I will love you till my last breath, I want to spend every day I can with you, until we are old and ninety underneath that tree.

Forever yours.

Your Empress.

“Fuck,” he’s cried so damn much he can’t produce tears, grabbing the carafe of wine on your table and pouring a glass with a shaky hand, drinking it in one gulp, looking back at you and setting down the letter.

He knew you loved him but to read it was different, so different.

“Satoru… Satoru please… Satoru…”

“Baby,” he rushes now, picking you up to sit as you thrash around, coughing more and more, weaker and weaker. “Please, please open your eyes – god please let me look upon them.”

You cough once more and then he sees it.

Your irises.

You blink just a bit when he wraps you in his arms, so tightly you can’t hardly breathe, everything in the room a faded, muted black that’s barely changing – you feel his tears on your neck and panic, but you can’t move, just stuck there. He’s crying your name, over and over, his breath warm against your neck as he buries his face in it.

“Satoru,” you whisper, voice hoarse and lips dry, you feel so weak and out of place, as if you’re in a dream rather than a reality.

“Sweetheart,” he pulls back and you see his puffy eyes and tear streaked cheeks – something you’ve never seen before.

“Wh-what’s wrong… Satoru who… hurt you please…”

He shakes his head, you cup his face and he presses it tighter against his cheek, taking several breaths now. “No, they hurt you.”

“Hurt me…” You blink as you try to piece the evening together, the last thing you remember is Suguru. “Suguru had… um, a letter from me and… I’m sorry, I sent it b-before… we fell and…”

“Don’t upset yourself,” he orders softly, leaning over to grab the glass of water and bring it to your lips, you drink and just that hurts, making you wince. “You have to try to flush this out of your system.”

“Drugged?” You mumble.

“No, poisoned,” your eyes widen, hands clinging tightly around his neck when he tugs your body onto his lap. “Not Suguru, even though this is his fault too.”

“Who then? There was a maid…”

Who was that damn maid?

“Lola,” you whisper suddenly, he nods and you sigh, shutting your eyes. “I should have let you kill her.”

“Well I will, don’t worry,” he smiles so big then. “I love you, evil little empress – even poison can’t take out evil.”

“Shut it,” you’re laughing and coughing again, he brings you more water, and you brush his tears from his cheeks. “Was I out long?”

“Five hours,” you gasp just a bit. “I knew you were stable but…”

“I’m sorry you were so scared Toru,” he shakes his head, swallowing nervously, setting the glass down with a quiet click as you touch your tummy. “Oh do you think… if I am with child it… how could…”

“We will check tomorrow, all right?” He murmurs softly, a hand over yours, hating the sight of your tears falling from your pretty eyes. “We will get through it together if you’re… if there’s no babe.”

“I know we will, but I want to give you one so badly,” you’re a mess of emotions, as your husband just holds you, and lets you cry against his pretty white robes, blossoming with the dark spots of your tears. “I will give you one.”

“I know it,” he whispers, nuzzling your hair and inhaling its scent. “I dreamt of it so it must happen.”

“That makes me feel better,” he runs his hand against your hair gently, making your eyes flutter shut. “My mama did that when I was young.”

“As did mine,” he admits, realizing there is still so much to learn about you. “Do you miss them? Did you have a good relationship?”

“I did, they let me be quite a free spirit,” your tears brush his neck as you shift in his lap, and he grabs a blanket and puts it on you. “I want them to meet you some day, to meet my emperor.”

“Then we will,” you smile all pretty, ruining him utterly if it was possible to do it even moreso. “I read your letter.”

“Oh it was a rough draft,” he peers at the ten crumbled letters and you laugh just a bit. “I kept messing it all up.”

“It was perfect,” Satoru tilts your chin up now, resting his forehead on yours in a way only Satoru Gojo can. “You wrote letters, I was jerking off thinking of you.”

“Perverted, slutty emperor,” he chuckles, the sound vibrating against his chest, as you snuggle deeper against him. “Your cum is your love letters.”

“It truly is,” you laugh again and so does he, when finally he presses his lips against yours, you pull back quickly. “Can I not kiss my wife?”

“What if there’s poison on my lips!? No indeed,” he kisses you again, then again, until you are putty in his arms, boneless and aching for his love, letting his lips move over you and take you over. “Oh Toru…”

“I’m so goddamn glad you woke up, if anything… I can’t live if…”

“Shh, it’s all right, I’m alright,” you both kiss and hold each other, finally falling asleep just like that, until the morning light comes – and Satoru knows what he must do, as you’re checked to see if you are with child. The apprehension and how tense you both are only making one thing crystal clear.

Satoru would make sure Lola is dead, and that there’s never another one of these women around him again. 

ahh dw the next part will NOT take this long, I love the emperor SO DAMN MUCH.