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TW: Joke about alcohol, death of a loved one, guns, pregnancy, vomiting to be safe, crimes against children.
I got my timeline all fucked up, sorry for that. You'd think that I'd be able to keep track of all that, considering that Raye and Naomi would be the same age as my mother... Whoops.Â
Yes, they are that couple where Everyone Can See It. See my post about Umi Ga Kikoeru vs. this fic and the relationship dynamic.
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Smirnov whistled. âWhat are you wearing, Misora? Come on, itâs March, and youâre wearing leather?â
âItâs my bike clothes. Give me a moment before you talk my ear off,â Naomi replied. She was surprised that the lack of caffeine and sleep had left her semi-coherent.
âYou own a bike?â Sheridan said. âSounds like youâre more of a rebel than we thought.â
âItâs not rebelling to own a motorcycle, Sheridan. What are you doing in here anyways, Smirnov? Need a hangover remedy?â
âHa ha, Misora. No, check your work email.â
âIf itâs a joke, Iâm asking to be reassigned.â She pulled off her jacket and reached for her laptop, then opened her work email. Â
âAgents Misora, Sheridan, and Smirnov:
You all are being recalled to Washington D.C. I expect to see Agent Misora in the briefing room at 10am sharp on March 12. Plane tickets are being mailed as of now.
Best wishes, Director Masonâ
She whistled. âFor whatever reason weâre being recalled, itâs probably confidential.â She scrolled down. âIt takes an hour to get from here to Narita, light traffic at best. Itâs probably best that we get going in an hour.â
âBut what would he want with you alone?â Sheridan asked.
âBeats me. But right now, I think we should just get packing and all that.â
âNope, just you,â Smirnov said. âMy stuffâs ready to go.â
âGood to hear. Iâll be a bit. Grab me some breakfast while youâre down there, will you?â
âSure.â
â
âSo, who has any ideas as to what Masonâs thinking?â Sheridan asked as they boarded. Naomi hit her on the forearm. âKeep quiet. For all they know, weâre just a bunch of tourists visiting. We can discuss this later.â
âItâs technically later right now,â Smirnov said. âSo, anyways--hey!â
âPay attention to what I said. If someone who has access to Kira knows that the FBI is--was--in Japan, then all of us are at risk. Which means the both of you need to shut up until weâre in the car with Mason.â
âI was only joking around! You didnât have to hit me that hard!â
âEven a joke can get someone hurt. The both of you should know better by now.â
âAll right, all right.â Smirnov huffed.
Naomi Misora has never had the habit of sleeping on flights. As her colleagues dozed, she stayed wide awake.
Sometimes, I wonder what wouldâve happened if we hadnât met, she thought.
âNaomi, please, donât you want to start a family someday?â Audrey said.
âSure, but on my own time. Iâm not unfulfilled--Iâve got a great job,â Naomi replied.
âBut no boyfriend.â
âOh, look at that, Iâm choosing not to date a man, the world is ending. Iâve got nothing to lose by not dating.â
âYou can say that when youâre 40 and donât have any kids.â
âMore reason to spoil yours, right?â
âDo I really need that much help, Director? The both of us know that Iâm perfectly good at my job alone,â Naomi contested.
âSure, but youâre lacking in base knowledge of firearms--which Agent Penber has,â Director Mason said.
âWhile thatâs nice, Director Mason, I donât need the help.â
âYou can say that when you canât ID the gun or caliber at a crime scene,â Raye said. They were friends in the academy, but apparently the fact he knew he was useful had inflated his ego to the size of Jupiter.
And there she was, at the stalemate. Either she accepted the help and continued on her job, or she continued to go the route of arrogance and end up crawling back to him. Fine.
âFine,â she said, jerking her head outside of the Directorâs office door. âCome on, jagoff, Iâll show you the ropes.â
âIâm not a rookie. I joined when I was 23,â he said, as she walked him to the unitâs office.
âI'm aware of that, you dork. You havenât worked in this unit, so youâre a rookie. Jesus, you're 24 right?â
â25 in a month. Shouldn't you know this?â
âIt's been a while, go easy. And it's nice to know.â She stopped at her desk and pulled up photos from the latest crime scene--exhibit B showed at least a clip of bullets. âShow me what you know.â
âExcuse me?â he said, both eyebrows raised.
âI know you're a good agent, but I don't know about you as a firearms specialist.â
He narrowed his eyes and leaned over the desk, clicking through to the body and then back to exhibit B. âThatâs at least a clip of a 10 millimeter Auto.â
âStats?â
âSix inch barrel, an average of 546 foot-pounds per square inch of energy. Velocity. This cartridge was used in the Miami shootout seven--dammit, eight--years ago. After that, the FBI issued new cartridges--this one--to each agent in Hostage Rescue and Special Weapons and Tactics teams.â
âSo you could easily say that this person has connections to the FBI. At least, these specific branches.â
âMhm. Against something like a .40 Smith and Wesson, the .40 has better recoil, and itâs better for both civilian and law enforcement use. Not for the 10 millimeter, though.â He stood straight. âWhat's that tell you?â
âI think youâve given us a new lead. Donât go letting that get to your head, though.â
âYouâre letting it go to your head,â she said.
âI am not!â Raye replied. âOkay, maybe a little, but still.â
âEither way, itâs going to your head. Call in the interrogation team for me, Iâm gonna go grab lunch.â
âHey! Iâm not your errand boy!â
âSure, but youâre still doing your job. Iâll be back in five minutes.â
âI better get something,â he said.
âIâll see about that. You're not very imposing, you know.â
She returned five minutes later indeed. âSo, whatâs going on right now?â
âHe did actually have a connection to the FBI--cousin, I think. Poor dudeâs probably agonizing over it. Whereâs my food?â
âIn the breakroom. You can tell me more when you get back.â
âYou couldâve at least brought it back.â
âI already tried, but I couldn't balance anything for shit. And I could eat a whole person.â
He sighed through his nose. âDahmer. Iâll be back.â
She shook her head. "The one time my coffee takes precedence and you compare me to a serial killer."
"Oh, does it suck?" he asked. He smiled and she felt like she got punched in the chest.
She blinked as the plane landed. âWake up, we just touched down,â she said.
Sheridan groaned. âHave you been awake this whole time? Dude.â
âItâs not like I havenât stayed up over a day before. Wake up Smirnov for me while I grab our luggage.â
âI never pegged you for the guy who liked to cook,â Naomi said, leaning on the doorframe.
âMy mom made sure,â Raye replied. âAs for my dad, he just taught me the German and Russian stuff. And Iâm a tad sick of takeout.â
âI canât say I blame you for that. I gotta give a high five to your mom, though, youâre a stubborn bastard.â
âHey! First of all,â he said, pointing the tongs like a weapon, âI took to it rather nicely. And second of all, I resent that statement.â
âYou can take it. What are you making anyways?â
âSpaghetti. Not what you expected, hm?â
âNot really.â
âI wonât introduce you to the German and Russian stuff yet. Kinda heavy, if you catch my drift. Our favorite food is potato. Wait, no it isnât. Either way. Do you wanna help?â
âNah, Iâm good.â She hopped up onto the counter anyways. "But tell me you can make Japanese."
âOh, so youâll stay around and potentially get in the way but not help? Tch. I see how it is. And of course I can, what kinda mother do you take mine to be?â
âHey, I couldâve just left, but I decided to grace you with my presence. And I don't know her, dork.â
"Watch it, I might take that as flattery."
"Get a room already!" Suruga said.
"Shut up!" they shouted.
âNaomi?â Sheridan said, snapping her fingers inches from Naomiâs nose. âDude.â
âSorry, I spaced out for a second.â She pulled Sheridanâs luggage down and handed it to her, then Smirnovâs, and then her own.
âYeah, lack of sleep does that to you.â
She inhaled. âCome on.â
â
âGlad to see you, Director,â Naomi said. âIs this a matter you can discuss as we ride to HQ?âÂ
âAnd you as well, Misora. Unfortunately, I cannot. This is to stay confidential, between the people I summoned, so Sheridan and Smirnov cannot hear as well.â
âUnderstood.â The ride lapsed into silence. She said, âIs it related to Kira?â
âYes.â
She settled into her seat, desperately trying to keep her eyes open until she got into her hotel room.
âI see some familiar faces,â Director Mason tried.
March 12, 2010
Naomi wiped her hands on her slacks as the door clicked closed. She could count at least ten people.
Immediately, whispers started.
âNo, kid, he doesnât mean you,â a blonde woman said to her colleague. She rolled her eyes.
âThe Bureau handed me over to the Agency, you know,â her colleague replied. âAnd he knows my dad. Of course he means me and a handful of other people.â
âSometimes, I wish I didnât know your tragic backstory.â
Mason cleared his throat and stepped aside to revealâŚ
A teenager. Playing with robots.
âThis is N. Heâs Lâs successor. The both of us hand selected all of you for your respective skills, from both the CIA and FBI. This is the organisation known as the Special Provision for Kira.â
âAnd what if we donât believe that?â one man said, crossing his arms.
âTucker,â Naomi said, âdonât be stupid. What reason would Mason have to lie about that? Use your head.â
âAfter the original L died, he was replaced,â the teenager said. âThe L that we all know of is a front put up by the Japanese Task Force.â
I wish I could be surprised, she thought. Their styles are too different.
âFine, fine, I believe you,â Tucker said.
She shook her head.
âAs you were saying, N?â she said.
âThank you. As you all know, the Kira case first appeared in 2003--six years ago. I trust that you all know the basics of how Kira first appeared and what his MO was.â N pulled up his--Gundam?--transformer and using it as a puppet, and said, âBut, as the case progressed, Kira had went on a two week hiatus. Then, all of a sudden, it was white collar criminals that were being killed in addition to the typical criminals. The MO had changed.â
âSo then the weapon changed hands,â Naomi said.
âCorrect. Then, after roughly five months, Kyosuke Higuchi--the Kira behind the crimes--had dropped dead after a car chase that brought down even my predecessor, who was famous for having never shown his face. The killings stop for one week. Then, they pick up again. The MO had changed--back to the original MO, but then murdering bank robbers and the like. The weapon had changed hands again.
âThe day after the killings resumed, my predecessor had died, and was replaced by the Japanese Task Force, who did not want to cause alarm.â
âSo can we assume that Kira had accomplices?â the blonde woman asked.
âIndeed. If you all remember, there was the Sakura TV incident.â
âWhat happened?â McEnroe asked.
âThe Second Kira had made a broadcast on Sakura TV, which is known to be your typical yellow journalism hotspot in Japan,â Naomi informed him. âShe held the entire station hostage, and called out to the original Kira.â
âShe?â
âWomenâs speech patterns vary from menâs. I donât remember how, but itâs rather different. Where do we go from here, N?â
âThatâs a good question, Naomi Misora. From here, weâll be moving to headquarters in New York, downtown Manhattan. Iâll probably get into contact with the Japanese Task Force, and then we can share information back and forth.â
Somehow, she didnât think that he was telling them the whole thing.
âMeeting adjourned,â Mason said.
Sheridan and Smirnov were waiting outside the door, and ambushed her just as soon as she got out.
âSo, what was all that about?â Smirnov asked, one arm around her shoulder.
âGet off of me,â she said. âItâs confidential for a reason.â
âAw, come on! Itâs not as if youâre a civilian.â
âItâs still confidential, Smirnov. Iâll hear none of it.â She ducked under Smirnov and Sheridan, and said, âIâm going to ask the Director about possible arrangements for my apartment and⌠other things.â
âOf course. Donât keep us waiting!â Sheridan called.
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. âDirector, a word?â
âOf course,â Director Mason said.
âIâm going to have some issues moving my things across country. See, my apartment is in Los Angeles--my--â she swallowed and forced herself to say it, âRayeâs brother is currently staying there, and I need a couple days to transfer the lease and move all of my things out, as well as make arrangements for therapy and the like.â
âTake as much time as you need. The building wonât officially be finished for another couple months. September, at least.â
âOh, thatâs later than I thought. Well then. Thank you for answering. Iâm going to go and arrange a flight.â
She walked out of the building, and narrowed her eyes at Dunleavy asking a civilian for her phone. She made note of it and climbed into her car. Sheâd barely buckled when she almost backed into someone.
âYou know, itâs usually considered good form to check your mirrors,â the blonde woman from earlier said.
âSorry about that. I havenât had much sleep,â Naomi said, after pausing for a second. Wow, she is⌠really pretty.
âMhm." Halle nodded. "I look forward to it. Youâre a legend.â Halle smiled.
She leaned onto the wheel and said, âI donât know about legend. Though, I donât think this organization needs one.â
Well done, Naomi, already venting to a woman you donât know. Scratch that, barely know.
âYouâre not known as one for no reason, Misora. Iâll see you around.â
Naomi nodded, and made sure to check her mirrors before backing out this time. She fell face first onto her hotel bed with a sigh.
âTotally blew that,â she muttered, peeling off her jacket. Her phone buzzed. âWhatâs up, Adrian?â
âNothing much. Sorry that itâs taken me so long to call. Iâd wish you a happy late birthday, butâŚâ
âItâs bad luck. I know the superstition. Sorry, you were saying?â
âAnyways, I just wanted to ask, since this apartmentâs lease is coming up, are you going to renew it?â
She swore. âWhen is that?â
âThe 27th.â
âGotcha. Iâm going to renew it. By the way, you and your wife are going to need to move out sometime--Iâm heading back to LA. I can stay with your parents for a while, but Iâll need to get back into my apartment before I lose my mind.â
âNaomi! Why do you never tell us these thingsâŚâ
âIâm in DC right now, actually. I hadnât learned that I was going to be coming back to DC until the ninth, so I couldnât have told you and your family.â
âThatâs fair. And confidentiality laws. Anyways, when are you going to head back here?â
âA day or so.â
âThatâs not a lot of time to pack.â
âYou wonât have to, not for a while. Iâll transfer the lease over before I leave, and then you and your wife will officially be renting it, not me. Thatâs when I have to move to New York.â
Adrian whistled. âYou sure do move around a lot. Though, I remember Raye did that too. Comes with the job, I suppose.â
âYeah,â she said. Somehow, it didnât hurt as much when he says it.
âWhere in New York, out of curiosity?â
âThe Big Apple, actually.â
âYouâre shitting me.â
âI am not. Howâs your wife doing?â
âSheâs all right. End of the seventh month--officially at 28 weeks, now. Are you planning on being the gay, spinster aunt?â
âBye, Adrian.â
â
âIâm sorry mom and dad couldnât make it. Theyâd love to see you,â Michael said. Naomi climbed into the car. âAnd, of course, Adrian and Laney are in the same boat.â
âWhatâs going on with Laney?â
âMorning sickness is back and worse than ever.â
She winced, though she had yet to experience that. All plans of it had went out the window when he died. She pursed her lips and forced all thought of Raye from her mind.
âYeah, after her bout with HG the first time⌠Anyways, I heard you had to move to the Big Apple for work. Tell us how it is.â
âProviding I can get a chance alone, ha.â
âTrying to remain busy?â
âBusy as I can get, yeah.â
He tapped out the beat to the lyrics of All Apologies. âItâs weird to realise that youâre outliving your oldest brother.â
She smiled wryly. âI was all of six weeks younger than him. Itâs weird to think I wouldnât have died six weeks after.â
Michael was silent. The only resemblance that him and Raye bore was the cut of their eyes and their stature. Beyond that, it was hard to tell they were brothers at all.
âNaomi⌠You are in counseling, right?â
âIâm not suicidal.â
Scratch that. Same personality.
âYouâre depressed, at best.â
Raye scowled. âI donât like this guy.â
âThen kick the damn door down and letâs be done with this,â Suruga replied.
Even a glance at his face, cool but barely restrained anger boiling beneath the surface, couldâve told you his thoughts. He braced himself against the brick a la Rorschach in The Watchmen, and with one quick, almost stablike jam of his heel by the doorknob, it burst wide open. The children in the house recoiled from the door.
âOh, Jesus,â Gardner muttered. âRaye, go upstairs with Naomi and search the house.â
Gardner's knees popped as he knelt to talk to the kids. Naomi cast an anxious glance behind her and followed Raye up the stairs. He was muttering darkly under his breath, about what heâd do to the guy if he werenât with the FBI.
âDonât beat the dead horse here,â she muttered, not intending the pun of the perpâs display name on the dark web.
âIt wonât be a dead horse until heâs dead or in prison forever,â he replied. The clack of the slide being jerked back punctuated the statement. If he did do something rash, she wasn't keen on holding him back.
âYoohoo, Naomi? Anyone home?â
She blinked. âSorry.â
âHe is the worst kind of person, and Iâm not even a little sorry about saying that. Making snuff films of children,â Raye muttered, rubbing his temples.
âAgreed. Children are the one thing you should have restraint on,â Suruga said. âBut at least we're not talking, like. Fetal abduction.â
Always the optimist.
"Dude, don't. I'm already sick to my stomach." (And he was looking a little on the green side.) The ME passed him a can of flat ginger ale.
âIt just, uh⌠reminded me of a joke I made. By accident.âÂ
Michael shrugged. âAll right.â
â
âSo, how long are you going to be in California?â Nana asked.
âWith the rent as is? Good luck,â Michael said.
âOh, I know, itâs horrific. Luckily I make a decent amount of money each month, so I can make rent. And if I canât, then I have lots of money in savings.â
âOr you could board with someone.â
She shrugged. âMaybe. Once we get to know each other I can ask. I wouldnât feel comfortable encroaching on a strangerâs space.â
Summary: Naomi lives and is recruited by the SPK. Bisexuality ensues.
TW: Death of a loved one, alcohol (very end).Â
ffn.online
Chapter 1: December 31, 2009
Naomi paced around the room. Raye wouldâve been 33. When did we get this old? she thought. Happy birthday, I guess. She tried not to imagine what it would have been like if he hadn't been called to Japan.
She picked up her ringing phone. âHi, Nana. Itâs nice to hear from you.â
âAnd you too, dear. How are you holding up?â
âSame as always. Iâm sorry I canât call as often as Iâd like to. My job and all.â
âI understand. My son, when he was alive, was the same way.â
Her mouth twisted. âYeah. How are you and Chris doing?â
âWeâre all right. Missing him as usual. Chris' jobâs going well, though. As for his brothers, they're over as an annual thing. Iâd tell you more, but I donât really think itâs my news to tell.â
âThatâs all right. Either way, they know where I am and have my number. They can tell me on their own time.â
âYou hear that, boys?â In the background, there was a cacophony of groaning from Raye's brothers.
She smiled. âI should be going.â
âOf course. Donât let us hold you back.â
âYouâre not. Either way, Iâll seeâhear you, I guessâon my birthday.â
âMhm. Goodbye, Naomi. Weâll be thinking of you.â
She shut her phone with a sigh, then emerged from her hotel room. âSorry Iâm late, Katie.â
âDonât let it happen too often,â Sheridan replied. âWhat even was it about?â
âFamily stuff. You know how it gets. Anything on Kira?â
âThe Bureau is still digging its heels in. All weâve got is that Kira is in Japanâobviously, thatâs why weâre here. No dice on anything else. Itâs a wonder that Masonâs still ordering us to do these things, since the amount of stuff we have is nil.â
âKiraâs bound to slip up. He plays a long game.â
âGee, ya think? Either way, Iâm hungry.â
âBreakfast hours finished over two hours ago,â Naomi chided. âYou can wait.â
âThe human body digests food over a period of two hours, and at the end of that time period, then youâre hungry again.â
âSure. Whatever, go get something from the vending machine.â
âDonât wait up.â
Kids, Naomi thought.
âCome on, sheâs only a couple years younger than you,â Ian Smirnov chided. He filled in, at her blank look, âYour expressions can be really obvious sometimes. Lemme guess, you were thinking, âkidsâ.â
Either way, inexperienced people can be liabilities. Especially those who are too worried about other things than their job.â She raised her eyebrows. "And I'll try to ignore you bringing up my age. Women age better with some mystery, you know."
He rolled his eyes. âYou can be so anal sometimes. Itâs times like these where Iâm not shocked your nickname is âMisora Massacreâ.â
âWell, either way. Mason says to keep analysing the patterns of Kiraâs killings, besides the obvious.â There was a two week stop in the murders in '04, and then a slew of murders of white collar people. It was all traceable to the Yotsuba Group, but then they all died the same year. Nothing since, just the same old regular murder of incarcerated people.
(As far as "same old" can stretch when talking about the murder of people in prison.)
âOf course he does. Heâs a good boss, but he doesnât know what to look for,â Sheridan said. âSo, Massacre, whatâs your prediction?â
âDonât call me that. Probably nothing as usual. Weâve still got six more months left for the scouting, so I guess we wait for something major.â
Sheridan sighed through her nose. âAlso probably nothing. Either way, Iâll check it out. Anyone on drink duty tonight?â
âThatâs Churchillâs job as ofâŚâ Smirnov checked his watch, â12:01 in the morning today. Then, itâs Misoraâs job next week.â
âDidnât I tell you guys that I donât partake in that?â Naomi replied. âBesides, I thought the Russians wouldâve been perfectly happy to buy the alcohol.â
Smirnov snickered. This had been their running joke as of late.
âJokes about Smirnov aside, Iâll get started,â Sheridan said.
the use of ânaomi misoraâ still raises the hairs on the back of her neck. it was kiraâs world and itâs hard to break a habit that was ingrained for your survival.
well, you know the story: she left the fbi, raye died, she moved into her parentsâ house, then to the us, and got a job as a paralegal and made it her new career.
she keeps hearing whispers about this âspecial provision for kiraâ---still nicknamed that, even as kira likely lies dead; how funny---and she begs a few friends left in the fbi for information, but they canât break the laws theyâre bound by, and naomi wants to kick their literal asses.
but one day, this tall blonde woman, flanked by two men, walks into her firm. naomiâs heart drops and she impulsively asks for the womanâs number. thankfully, the woman is flattered---âlidner,â she introduced herself as---and accepts.Â
she kicks herself a little bit for thinking it would go anywhere beyond a few awkward phone calls. she remembers that life---always moving and never seeing raye.Â
she shouldâve sat on her feelings until they deflated.
she sighs and gets to work again, and her feet ache once she gets home from running around all day. her fitbit says that sheâs reached her threshold for todayâs steps. on her phone, she has a text from lidner.
maybe she made the right choice in taking that leap of faith.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
two and a half minute write of halle/kiyomi for ladies appreciation week
the first time halle and kiyomi ended up together in bed, klaxons in halleâs brain were firing at max sound capacity telling her to get the fuck out before something serious happened.Â
too late.
their one-time tryst turned into multiples. halle kicks herself for the lack of safety that was drilled into her in the 90s. i mean, kiyomi was with another man and he had multiple sex partners to lidnerâs knowledge. she remedied that quickly, after taking multiple showers until she felt clean enough.
she washes her hands again after that. she wonât die today if she doesnât touch the handles.
âthatâs uncharacteristically stupid of you,â rester says bluntly.
âyouâre telling me,â she replies. âiâm the one whoâs in bed with kiraâs spokeswoman.â
âcould be a lot worse,â gevanni opines, the epitome of millennial âi have horrendous anxiety, but i hide it behind pretending to be relaxed and cracking jokes.â
âno, it really couldnât.â
she sighs. âiâm aware of my recklessness, rester. i donât need to be chastised for it.â
rester makes to reply again, but gevanni stays him with a hand to the arm. thank god for his âsensitivity.â but who knows; for all she does, he could be playing that card and using it to get into multiple womenâs pants.
âso, yotsuba kira ends up yanking the task force around through...,â gevanni recites.
lidnerâs hands sting a little from how furiously they were playing slide. âshibuya i think. yeah, so he tries to evade arrest like a dumbass and they go after him. i think there was a pincer maneuver being made, but i could be wrong.â
âyeah there was, it was an attack on multiple fronts. from what near said, it sounds like there were teams: one following yotsuba kira, one at an unnamed tv station, and another in the sky. yeesh.â
âwhereâd you find that?â rester asks. â ... are you playing slide? how old are you two, ten?â
âeleven next week,â gevanni replies, almost drowned out by the sound of hand slapping hand. âyou should try this, itâs fun.â
âno thanks. and you didnât answer my question.â
ânearâs let some things slip,â lidner says. she holds one of his hands while they sync up and match each otherâs play with their own; muscle memory is a funny thing.Â
âuh huh.â
âcome on, you know more than us. thereâs no way youâre letting any of that slip, though.â
âyou ended that with a reverse psychology ploy just to bait me.â
gevanni employs a well known tactic that lidner has known since her younger brother was five, and turns on the pleading blue eyes switch. âwhy would i do that?â
actually my favorite moment in the oneshot fix it fic iâm supposedly writing is when gman snaps at ide and rester hits him upside the head, and then this conversation ensues:Â
gman: WHATEVER, he was being a douchecanoe
rester: youâre a bit old to be using the term douchecanoe to describe someone else
gman: so are you, youâre a hypocrite
on one hand itâs very funny but it also tells you that gman is angry and doesnât want to be confronted on that current issue