#tw ocd

Harumi on the other hand fucking thrives in filth. Like she wants to be considered a bad person, she wants to be associated with dirt and she wants to be 'disgusting'.

There is a lot going on with them. One trying to purify another while simultaneously denying that she has ever done anything wrong. The other one wanting to corrupt the other while also admiring his fucked up stoicism. See my baptism post.

tw ocd

🗣️ : are they better one-on-one, or in groups?

Groups. He's really good at matching energy, and it's much easier to do so in a group setting where he doesn't have to worry about seeming insane to just one person. Unless it's a close friend of his or someone he spends a lot of time with, he's usually going to be masking and it's harder to keep that up without the comfort of redirecting attention in groups.

🚬 : what vice do they justify the most?

Sammy feeds into his own compulsions almost constantly. He justifies it as little quirks and things that make his day go smoother, but he's not actually confronting or working on his OCD. He's got some Catholic guilt that builds up and makes him believe that his intrusive thoughts are a reflection of his own character, and it's incredibly distressing to even try to engage with them in any healthy way, so that just leads to more compulsive behavior.

🪦 : what hill would they die on?

But then my brain decided that's bad because "You could be wrong. He might be intersex. You don't know him. Why are you looking at him like that? Why do you care? Normal people don't do this."

also tw for like gore and maybe body horror and similar stuff? i think?

tws: mentions of moral ocd and racism (if i forgot something sorry)

so to start off im just gonna state now that the body is white and we have really bad moral ocd and are really scared of being racist and our ocd keeps telling us that if any headmates arent white then thats racist because the body is white we dont apply that to literally anyone else but ocd is a disorder for a reason

i think our brain/subconscious is desperately trying to tell us we have poc headmates and we just keep ignoring it and denying it we dont know what to do were so scared of being racist by having headmates with different skin tones to the body (were aware that race is only applicable to the body) and its even worse when sometimes we cant tell if were doing something wrong (like certain headmates struggle to remember if theyre allowed to use certain slang because although its very popular to misuse and appropriate aave we try not to when were aware of it) we know its not good to repress headmates and stuff but were also so so scared of accidentally being racist and honestly are too scared to get into the arguments about what is and isnt okay for headmates/systems to do in terms of having headmates that are poc when the bodys white because weve only seen a couple things in passing and it does not seem like a nice environment (lots of white systems being racist and insisting its okay and otherwise i just think itd trigger our moral ocd but idk maybe having defined rules would help?)

It's not inherently problematic or racist to have headmates who are a different race to the body as long as you aren't claiming you understand the experience of that race