#vaxlan

Vax probably disagrees. But then, Scanlan thinks with what would be a wry smile if he wasn’t so utterly exhausted, Vax has always had a self-sacrificial streak, so his opinion on this is moot.

Vax makes the rounds of goodbyes, maddeningly calm, like he really expects to see them all again. Scanlan knows better. So little pierces the black nothing of death that he barely heard the two most important women in his life, and didn’t even hear his best friend sing to him. Still, Vax talks to Percy, and then to him and Grog, and then – thankfully – he crouches in front of Scanlan so they’re eye to eye.

“Thank you for trying,” he says softly.

The thing is, it’s not just magic that Scanlan is all out of right now. He’s been holding on to his plan for three days since Vax died and returned as a weird revenant creature thing. As long as he could cast that spell, Vax wasn’t really dead. He’d keep on living if Scanlan had anything to say about it.

The spell is gone. The grief is a sudden blow that leaves him reeling worse than the blood loss.

I wish, sings the big empty place in his soul that still fizzles with the remnants of magic, I wish…

Scanlan Shorthalt opens his mouth, and for once the naked truth comes out as easy as a breath.

“I wish I could have done more.”

Vax’s face does something weird, halfway crumpling and breaking into a smile. The next second, Scanlan feels long cold hands cup the sides of his face and familiar lips – also cold, so much colder than the previous times – press into his own.

The kiss tastes like salt, blood, and dust. Scanlan leans into it anyway. Apart from the weird temperature it’s not that different from Vax’s other oh-holy-crap-that-was-close kisses.

It’s not upside-down, but it still makes Scanlan’s top three best elf man kisses. Even if he can’t tell which tears are his own and which are Vax’s.

Vax, who’s never been shy about letting people see him cry, who’s always worn his heart on his sleeve for the world to see, Vax brushes the tear tracks on Scanlan’s cheeks with his thumbs and says with that same unbearable gentleness, “You did everything.”

And it’s a good thing that Pike and especially Vex are next in line, because nobody sees or cares that Scanlan fades into the background and allows himself to weep, and just not be, just for a minute.

He did do everything.

And it still wasn’t enough.

⁂

(my boooyyyys 😭)

I turned Vax into an Angel because he already has wings and people probably usually turn him into a demon in this kind of AUs so I wanted to subvert that trope. And small fiend Scanlan is also cute.

Here's also @lizardlycrimes and mine list, I forgot to tag you before, so sorry!