*          *          *

The resort was lovely with lots of warm wood and brick, open gathering spaces, large fireplaces and huge windows overlooking the ski runs. You didn’t have a particularly fancy room, but it had a king size bed with high thread count sheets and a down comforter; and a 2 way fireplace- one side faced the bed, and the other side faced the giant sunken oval bathtub that dominated the bathroom.

After getting settled in, you went for a walk to check out what the resort had to offer. The concierge got you a window side table for 2 for dinner that night in the restaurant at the top of the runs, and you rented snowshoes for Saturday morning from the winter sports desk.

You found Ayno out on the terrace watching riders going down the tube run. “Do you want to try?” you asked him.

“We can ride that?” he asked excitedly.

“Yep! Let’s go get tickets!” you said, grabbing his hand to jog down the stairs to the hut with the tubes.

You spent an hour riding up the hill on the magic carpet and then sliding down in the candy colored donuts, over the rolling bumps to the bottom, over and over again. You loved watching Ayno’s blonde hair float and fly as he bounced his way down the tube run and hearing his shrieks of joy and laughter the whole ride down. It was so much fun, and his childlike enthusiasm made you sorry when your time was up.

You went back to the room and changed to dinner clothes and rode the gondola up to the top of the mountain to have dinner. Your table overlooked the ski runs and the lodge below, and between courses you admired all the colors the setting sun cast on the white mountains and then the beauty of the stars emerging in the dark above the lights adorning the resort as they winked on.

Considering Ayno’s background, you were surprised at how well he adapted to romance. He held your hand all through dinner, gazing at you adoringly. After dinner, you moved to a love seat by one of the fireplaces; where you sat drinking Bailey’s & coffee with Ayno’s arm around you while you talked softly with each other and Ayno occasionally left soft kisses on your temples and cheeks.

You ended your night the way you’d hoped ever since you saw the room: with the fireplace blazing, in a hot bubble bath with Ayno. You had started out relaxing seated between his legs, leaning back against his warm smooth chest. But wasn’t long before your hands were stroking his thighs, while he kissed your neck and his fingers worked inside of you while his thumb teased your clit. He knew how to push you over the edge so easily, that in no time he had your fingers digging into his thighs, whimpering his name as your toes curled and you saw stars.

You rolled over to straddle him, taking his hard length and running your hand up and down it a few times before guiding it inside of you. You loved the way Ayno’s body fit inside yours: he filled you completely, but not uncomfortably. The feeling was always pure bliss- like something that had been missing was replaced and you were whole again.

He brought his lips to gently suck and lick your nipples while he rolled his hips beneath you. You sighed and ran your fingers into his hair.

“Are you happy now that I am inside you? Do I please you?” he asked as he worked kisses up the column of your throat.

“Mmmm yes...I love this feeling”, you confirmed. “You always please me Ayno.”

He smiled contentedly, “I know you want more, but you will have to give up this bathtub for me to give it to you, otherwise you will need a kayak to get to the toilet later.”

You had to laugh. He was right, you desperately wanted to feel his hips bruising your thighs, his hands at your throat, but you hated the idea of un-joining your bodies for even a moment.  As though reading your mind, Ayno smiled and said “Don’t worry baby, I’ve got this. Hang on.” You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck; and in one strong graceful movement he leaned forward and undid the tub stopper before standing up and wrapping a towel around your bodies.  You moaned softly at the sensations the new angle created, and from the feeling of him inside you as he walked. “Mmmm…going to have to remember to do this with you again…” he said as he laid you down on the bed to finish what you had started.

*          *          *

Room service delivered your coffee, pastries & fresh fruit right on time at 8. Ayno eyed the cheese danish dubiously, and it took a good 10 min to convince him to take a bite. Once he did however, you were glad that you liked plain croissants with butter because the rest of the cheese danish along with the cherry and chocolate ones disappeared with lightning speed. Then you introduced him to fresh squeezed orange juice, and by the look of ecstasy on his face your grocery bill was going to be going up.

At 10 you picked up your snowshoes from the winter sports desk and made your way to the south lodge to catch the snowcat out to the back country where the show shoeing and cross-country ski trails were.

You reached the cat stop and waved good-bye to the skiers as you followed the trail into the woods. About a half mile later you emerged on the other side in a small meadow. Ayno looked around at the field of snow, brightened up and said, “In the meadow we can build a snowman!” You laughed, “This does seem like the place for it!” “How?” Ayno asked. You put your hands on your hips and surveyed the drifts. “Well, you look for the hardest, most frozen snow you can find, and you make the biggest snowball possible, and then you start rolling it through the snow patting more and more onto it until it’s the size you want. Then you do it again, and stack that one on top of the first one and do it again and make that one the head. Then you decorate it!”

“Ok!” Ayno said as he got to work. You decided to start making the body piece. A couple minutes later, you realized that Ayno was just standing there.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I am having a problem.”

“What kind of problem?” you asked, concerned.

“This” said Ayno as he reached down and scooped up a handful of snow. You watched as it rapidly melted and ran through his fingers.

“Oh.” You said, realization dawning, “You’re too hot. You’re more than 40 degrees hotter than the average human and your hands don’t get cold. You actually melt the snow before you can pack it.”

He looked disappointed and irritated. “It’s ok Ayno” you soothed “At least I know I will never freeze to death with you. How about if I build it and you can decorate it?”

“No, it is too much to do alone.”

“Ok, how about if we make a mini snowman? We can use the piece I started as the bottom.”

He considered this for a moment before agreeing.

An hour or so later, you had a very fine, very small snowman. Ayno had found rocks for eyes and a mouth, a pinecone for a nose, and twigs for arms. When you were satisfied, you both laid in the snow next to it and Ayno’s long arms captured your snowman selfie.

You headed off down the trail, when a mischievous idea hit you.

You formed a snowball and pelted it at Ayno. “Hey” he yelled ducking as it hit his shoulder. You made another one and fired again, this one connecting with his back. “Not fair!” He yelled as he tried to run. You laughed and chased after him, scooping up snow and making ammunition as you went. He yelled and ran, as you made several snowballs you began pelting him with.

“Ahhhh!!! Noooo! Stoooop!!” Ayno laughed and whined.

“You know, for a minion of evil with red leathery skin and black wings, you’re awfully soft.” You teased him.

Ayno whirled around and stared at you, his eyes already glowing a bright pink color…he was irritated. “Who told you my wings were black?!”

You arched an eyebrow at him. His irritated overreaction to your teasing was irritating you.

“WHO?!” he demanded, his eyes slowly turning to a deeper shade of hot pink with anger.

You remained unfazed. “Ooohhh…so you have wings.”

Ayno realized that you had just tricked him into revealing something about his demon form, and he growled in anger and turned away from you again. This was getting ugly fast.

Suddenly your buried resentment with Ayno’s unwillingness to be open with you bubbled to the surface. “What else do you have? Horns? Fangs? Forked tongue? Spikes down your back?” you pushed.

Ayno turned and stared at you with eyes turning magenta and anger visible on his face. “Why are you asking these questions?! Why do you even want to know?!”

Although he had raised his voice, the pitch and timbre had dropped- he no longer sounded like Ayno…more like The Beast from Beauty and the Beast.

“Because?! I’d like to know something about you! Anything! Who are you really? You tell me you’re a demon, you say that I choose your appearance…well, you must’ve looked like something before I got ahold of you! I’ve never seen a demon before, so show me the beast! Go on Ayno- turn! There’s no one out here- nobody but me will see! It’s not like you’ll be cold…”

He was horrified at the suggestion. “NO! NEVER! This is not for you to see! Ever!!” he raged, his eyes burning almost red, and his voice now 3 octaves lower and with a slight echo – it sounded like something straight out of a horror movie.

You were emboldened by your own frustration and anger, and you knew you should be afraid of him like this; but you were too fascinated at the change these emotions brought about in Ayno.

“Aren’t you bound to me? Don’t you have to do my will? Show me your true form Ayno”, you said authoritatively.

Ayno fixed you with a cold look of defiance. “I have virtually no control over my existence. My Master, my Patrons – you all command me, and I am forced to obey. But this- this one thing- I have control of. And under no circumstances will I show you my true form!”

“Why not?! You realize that I know virtually nothing about you, right? You came into my house through a mirror! And I let you stay…I trust you- although I have no reason to- I just let you into my life. You know things about me…you have met my family…and yet you will tell me nothing about yourself, or show me who you really are”, you spat your words at him as you turned away.  

Ayno slumped down on a fallen tree and put his head in his hands. You watched him for a few moments before coming over and sitting near him.  You sat in strained silence- still angry, but wanting so badly to reach out to him- to touch him and bridge the gap between the two of you. It felt like an eternity passed before he spoke, but you were relieved that his voice was almost normal when he did, although he continued looking at the ground.

“In my life, I have often been made to look handsome or rugged, but I have only been ‘beautiful’ a few times. You have made me so beautiful. I see the way people look at me- how they smile, and respond to my smile, treat me favorably …I hear heartbeats quicken and smell pheromones surge when I get near. I like this feeling… I like being pretty and well built. But more than this, I like the way you look me. There is kindness, tenderness and affection in your gaze and your touch. My true form is hideous and frightening –  I am supposed to be like this- it is appropriate for a demon and I am not ashamed of it – but I am so afraid that it would be something that- how do you say it? You could “not unsee it”? …and you would never look at me the same again. I do not want you to look upon me with fear and pity, and to shrink away and refuse my touch. I …I think that might break me… I do not know how I would recover…” He dropped his head to his elbows and wrapped his forearms around his head.

There was a long silence where the only sounds to be heard were the wind in the pines, and the stuttered breaths of Ayno’s soft sobs. You weren’t sure what to say or how to comfort him: you felt badly for making him hurt like this, but not sorry for forcing the subject into the open.

“I’m sorry Ayno. I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you angry.”

Finally, he spoke again, “I am not angry with you. I understand that you have almost no knowledge of my kind or the place from which I come. I know you are curious, and just want to know and understand me. Thank you for this – I appreciate that you are interested in me and want to learn.” He paused, “I am sorry that I yelled at you. I was…frightened. Asking questions about my appearance caught me off guard; and made me afraid that you had been visited by someone- or something- else.” He took a deep breath and turned to face you, “If you will promise never to ask me to show my true form again, I will promise to truthfully answer any questions you have; with the understanding that if I tell you I cannot or will not answer, it is not because I am keeping a secret, it is to keep you safe.”

You nodded. “I can live with that.”

“Can you still live with me?” he asked cautiously, his eyes not meeting yours.

“Oh, Ayno…” you said gently as you climbed into his lap and wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly. You lifted his puffy tear stained face to look at you.  “Of course I want you. Yes, ok, you are a demon- but you are my demon, you are my boyfriend. Every relationship takes work because every relationship has issues…ours are just a little unique. It’s still about both parties caring so much for the other person that you are willing to talk, and compromise, and find solutions instead of just giving up. …and I am not giving up.” Your heart was pounding in your ears- you were sure he could hear it. “I want this Ayno. I want you…I want us.” Your admission terrified you…you thought of all your failed relationships...and that he had never actually had one.

He pulled you back into his arms and held you tightly. “I am scared too. But in my whole existence, I have never wanted anything more than I want to be with you.” You squeezed him tighter. You sat like this for awhile, letting the last of your anger dissipate and allowing the weight of your admissions to soak in.

Eventually you reluctantly broke away from each other and decided to head back down the trail to the cat stop so you could return to the lodge and get ready for the party. As you walked down the trail hand in hand, Ayno took a deep breath and asked, “What do you want to know?”

You thought for a moment. “Do you really have black wings?”

“Yes.”

“Are they big? Can you use them – like can you fly?”

“Yes, and yes.”

“Really? That’s cool.” You paused as you assimilated the knowledge. “Do you have horns?”

Ayno hesitated slightly, “Yes.”

“What are they like?? Where are they??” you asked in wonder.

“Medium? They are smooth, and black, and they have a twist. They are on my head, where else would they be?”

You gave a small laugh “Well, yeah, but top? Side?”

Ayno stopped walking, took your hands and placed them on his head looking at you meaningfully. “Am I touching your horns??” you asked.

“Yes. Your fingers are resting on them.”

“Can you fee-“

“Yes. Everything is still there- you just can’t see it…it morphs to fit inside my human shape”, he explained.

“Oh. So, is this your normal height?”

“No. I am about…” he looked up, muttering softly in a language you did not recognize as he did mental calculations, “roughly 10 ft tall.”

“Really? Wow.”

He shrugged. “Like I said, I am big and scary. I think I am rather attractive as demons go, but I am still generally considered hideous to humans.”

“Not this one. I think you sound pretty awesome.”

Ayno just chuckled and shook his head at you.

*          *          *

When you got out of the shower, Ayno was still laying naked in bed, wrapped in the tousled sheets, drawing something with a ball point pen on the hotel stationary. You stood towel drying your hair, looking at his work. “What is that?”

He looked up at you and smiled faintly, “Self-portrait.”

You took the paper and examined the rough sketch. Nodding you said “Very nice! You have a tail? Where do you put that?”

He looked up at you and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You burst out laughing.

“I see! Well, I think you look menacing and foreboding. I have clearly landed myself an excellent demon.”

He laughed and pulled you down onto the bed, pinning you in place with his torso as brought his mouth to yours in a passionate kiss.

“Stop that!” you laughed against his lips “I just got out of the shower!”

“But I find that I like make-up sex…”

“We already had make-up sex. You only get make-up sex after a fight. This would just be sex”, you laughed.

“Hmmm. Then I will be happy without make-up sex, because I do not like fighting with you.”

“Agreed. C’mon- let’s get ready. We can do this as much as you want after the party.”

“Ok. …I hope it is a short party…” he murmured.

Right now, you - or rather, your body - is laying in room 394. Machines help you breathe, help you get nourishment, help you stay alive. 

At least for the time being. 

You guess a bit over four weeks have passed since your car accident (not your fault, but the drunk driver who hit you only got a few bruises, while you are now stuck in a coma - life's funny like that sometimes). Your family and friends still visit regularly, some more than others, they are the only entertainment you get in this world in-between. You haven't seen other... ghosts, lost souls or whatever you are, yet. You also haven't looked for any, if you're being honest. 

You have watched enough Supernatural to know there are only two possibilities for you: move on or stay stuck forever. 

You don't believe the encouraging words of the doctors, promising your parents a speedy recovery once you wake up. If you wake up sounds more like it. You heard some nurses talk in low voices behind your parents’ back - that the chances you'll ever wake up again are very slim indeed. Probably going towards zero by now.

You sigh, stroll around your room and look out of the window and into the dark night sky. No stars are visible tonight, the bright lights of the city masking the natural light of the far aways suns completely. 

"There you are."

You whirl around, clutching your heart - is it possible for a ghost (lost soul, whatever) to have a heart attack? Because you're pretty sure you almost got one thanks to the person now standing in the middle of your room. 

His hair is blond and a bit unkempt, he's tall and slim and sports a soft smile, his eyes forming little crescents. 

"Uh. Hi.", you just say, a bit dumbfounded. 

His smile widens. "Hi." 

That's all he gives you. You tilt your head to one side, calculating him with a critical look. "Not to be rude, but who are you?", you ask, feeling a bit bolder thanks to his inviting, open face. 

"You can call me Baron.", he answers, burying his hands into the pockets of his white trousers. 

"And... you were searching for me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you're lonely."

You huff at that. "I'm not! My parents just left. And I know for a fact that my best friend will come visit again - tomorrow morning before her lecture, actually. She told me so herself."

Baron just gazes at you, one eyebrow slightly raised. 

You gulp a bit. "And... I mean, there are doctors and nurses and-"

"You haven't left your room."

"That's not true! I was wandering the hallway just yesterday." 

"There are others like you here, you know.", Baron offers, tilting his head to the side, "Don't you want to go and meet them?"

You cross your arms in front of your chest, observing the young man in front of you. Nothing gives you the impression he's trying to hurt you or something like that, but you're still undecided. You look at yourself laying on the white hospital bed, look at the tubes coming out of your nose and mouth, at the unnatural paleness of your skin and the dark bruises on your arms, still clearly visible. 

"Nothing's going to happen to you, I promise.", Baron says softly, following your gaze, "Your body will remain the same, even if you leave for a few hours."

You take a deep breath and finally nod. "Uh, well, let's go, then."

Baron steers you towards the stairs to take you to one of the higher levels and you follow him carefully. "Don't look so scared. Nothing can hurt you in the in-between.", he finally says, humor sparkling in his dark eyes when he sees your hunched shoulders and paranoid looks. You scowl, dropping your defensive stance a bit. 

"But what if a grim reaper shows up and wants to drag me to the afterlife with him?", you ask, trying to sound playful (and failing). 

Baron shrugs. "Believe me, if a grim reaper shows up... you won't be able to escape him." 

"So they are real?", you whisper, heart suddenly hammering in your chest, panic contorting your face.

Baron's dark eyes slide towards you and when he sees your scared expression, he carefully takes your hand in his. You're surprised at the warmth radiating from of him - it instantly calms you. 

"All the stories are real, Y/N.", he murmurs, "But that doesn't mean you need to be afraid of them."

You don't ask how he knows your name - you just continue to follow him quietly, your hand still in his. 

Baron takes you to the 11th floor, pulling you towards an open space between two wards. You see a few people mingling, some sitting on sofas, others standing in front of the windows, softly talking to one another. 

When you enter the room, most turn around. Almost everyone is clad in hospital gowns just like yourself, but a few are wearing normal clothes. A woman in a flowery dress smiles at you, waving you closer. You gaze at Baron, who nods encouragingly. 

When you reach the woman, she quickly takes your hands in hers. "I'm Sofia.", she introduces herself, voice as soft as her eyes, "I'm so happy you could make it to our gathering. Tonight is your first time, right?" 

You nod, a bit taken aback, before answering: "I'm Y/N. And I.. actually don't know what I'm doing here." 

She laughs at this. "Most of us don't, sweetie. But that's why we're here. Talking to each other helps more than you might think." 

With that, she pulls you with her towards the sofas where everyone's already seated. Baron takes the place beside you and you immediately feel calmer, his presence soothing you in a strange way. 

Sofia smiles at everyone, before beginning to speak: "Hello everyone, thanks for coming. My name is Sofia and I'm in charge of leading this little gathering tonight. I've been here for five years now, my husband still keeping my body alive and well. Yesterday, he brought our daughter with him - I can't believe she's already turning eight this June. She’s growing up so fast..." She stops, taking a deep breath and wiping a few tears from her face, before nodding at the man beside her.

"Hello, I'm Adam and I've been here for a few months now... About six, I think. My family is still hoping I'll wake up again, but I'm beginning to lose patience... I want to move on. Or go back. I don't want to be stuck here anymore." He looks a bit angry, but when Sofia lays her hand on his, he immediately calms down, nodding at the person besides him. 

"What’s up, I'm Jae and I've been here for two years now..."

It goes on like this, everyone stating their name and how long they've been in this world in-between. Then, it's finally your turn (Baron just shook his head, when everyone looked at him expectantly, simply continuing to stay silent). "I'm Y/N and I don't actually know how long it's been since... since the car crash. Definitely a few weeks, I guess. It's actually my first time engaging with anyone in the in-between... I didn't know there were that many of us here.", you explain, "That's why I didn't come sooner. Thanks for having me though, I guess."  

Sofia smiles brightly at you and you feel Baron's light touch on your hand. He nods at you, a small smile on his lips. 

The next evening, you come back, Baron at your side. 

It continues like this for a few weeks: everyone introducing themselves, talking about their problems, about their lives - about anything, really. You soon notice it helps everyone to stay sane in this strange in-between world. 

Baron never says anything, though. He's always there, by your side, sometimes holding your hand or gifting you one of his gentle smiles, but he always stays silent during the meetings.

One evening, you can't control your curiosity anymore - while Baron walks beside you through one of the many hallways, you turn towards him: "Who are you?" 

He looks surprised at your sudden question, raising one eyebrow. "You know who I am. I'm Baron." 

You roll your eyes. "That's just a name. But who - or what exactly are you?" 

He considers this for a second, before smiling again. "I'm your comrade in this world in-between." 

You huff, crossing your arms. "That's not a real answer. Everyone's my comrade in the in-between - we're all stuck here, all lost." 

Baron takes your hand in his, making your heart flutter. He shouldn't have this effect on you, but when you try to pull away from him, he only pulls you closer. 

"Do you really want to know?", he asks, voice low and eyes dark.  

You gulp a bit, but nod nevertheless. 

"I'm an angel." He actually looks a bit nervous at his confession. 

You take a step back. "You- what? An... angel? An actual angel?"

He simply shrugs and nods. 

"Are you... my guardian angel?" 

He snorts. "No. If so, I would really suck at my job, don't you think?"

Well, you are in a coma right now, so he's onto something. 

"Uh, yeah.", you answer a bit sheepishly. "Then... what's an angel doing in the in-between?", you ask again, curious about the blond man beside you. 

"Looking out for humans, of course." 

„But you‘re only ever with me.“ 

„Yeah. I like you.“ He says is casually, but it makes you heart flutter nevertheless. 

„Do you even have feelings?“

He scowls at this, an expression you‘ve never seen on his face before. „Of course! We‘re not demons; we angels have feelings just like any other creature made by God.“ 

„I meant no offense.“, you quickly say, gently squeezing his hand. Immediately, his face lights up with a smile again. 

„I know. Sorry for lashing out.“ 

Before you reach the 11th floor, you stop again. Baron looks at you, a silent question written all over his face. 

„I think I want to skip tonight‘s meeting. Can we go to the rooftop?“, you ask. You’ve been up there only once, together with Jae, a lost soul you‘ve grown fond of. He must have been around you own age when he fell into a coma two years ago; you always laugh a lot when you’re together (mostly thanks to all the vine references he throws at you), managing to forget about being stuck in the in-between for a few hours. 

Baron nods. „Sure, if that‘s what you want.“

You take the stairs up to the rooftop; when you finally reach the door leading outside, you’re already out of breath (not having a body sadly didn‘t give you a better stamina). The view is worth it though - the sky is pitch black, so you‘re perfectly able to see the brightly lit skyline tonight. You smile softly, leaning against the railing and gazing into the distance. 

You don’t notice Baron‘s gentle, loving eyes on you. 

„When I‘m finally back in my body, I want to come back here again.“, you say softly.

At this, the angel smiles sadly. 

He knows you won't pull through.

He knows you're stuck in the world in-between because you can't let go of your loved ones.

But he also knows you still need time to accept your fate. 

He will wait for you - as he always does.

Two weeks later, the time has finally come. 

Tears stream down your cheeks while you listen to the doctors telling your parents that there's no hope for you anymore, that your brain is dead while your body stays alive. Baron is right beside you, your hand securely in his. He holds you close while you press your face in his chest, crying for the life you never got to live. 

He takes you back to the rooftop again, the night sky calming you. Your eyes are red and puffy, face swollen from crying. You can't seem to get the heartbroken faces of your parents out of your head. 

"It's just not fair.", you whisper, "That he gets to live on while I have to die."

Baron nods solemnly. "I know."

"I can't leave everyone behind like this. I didn't even get to say goodbye, I- I need to tell them I love them and-"

"Y/N."

You look up and into the dark, warm eyes of the angel beside you. He takes both your hands in his. "They know all this already, believe me. They know. The only thing you can do now, is move on."

You sniff. "Move on to where?"

His smile is bright this time. "You'll just have to wait and see. But if you don't move on... You will become a vengeful spirit. And believe me, that's the worst fate there is."

You shiver slightly at his words, hugging yourself tightly. "... Will you be there, too?"

He nods. "I'll be waiting for you on the other side. But you'll have to cross over by yourself, alone. That’s the rule."

You tilt your head upwards and gaze at him with curious eyes. "Are you really an angel, Baron?"

"I am, yes."

"Grim reapers are also called Angels of Death, aren't they?"

Baron nods again, tilting his head to the side, blond locks falling into his dark eyes. "You are smarter than most souls I've gathered from this place."

You sigh. "I was sorted into Ravenclaw, so..." 

He looks confused at your reference, so you simply shrug. "Doesn't matter now. What... how- I... I don't know-" 

You choke on your own words, but Baron understands you nevertheless. He holds out his hand, his grip strong and warm, as always.

Death really isn't cold and lonely, you think.

Or at least not for you.

"Cross over, Y/N. I'll see you on the other side." 

You notice a door appearing behind the angel, a soft light emanating from within. 

The last thing you see and feel before you step through, is the warm smile on Baron's face as well as the slight pressure he gives your hand before finally letting you go.

You take a last deep breath, look into your beloved night sky and take a step forward.

Moving on isn't hard, at least not for the person doing it, you notice.

Especially not if someone with a bright smile and warm eyes is waiting for you on the other side.