#got7 angst

Nothing changed at all.

Which is why your best friend BamBam had you pinned against Jaebeom’s bathroom counter, his hand snaking under your shirt while his plump lips pressed fleeting kisses trailing from your jaw to your collarbone.

You and BamBam had started hooking up a couple years ago- you were both drunk and lonely. He was hanging out at your house, the two of you drowning your sorrows in red wine, both of you mourning the long-term relationships you’d just gotten out of. Neither of you really intended for it to happen- you don’t even really remember it actually happening, but next thing you knew, you were waking up in the morning with your best friend sleeping soundly next to you- sans clothing.

After that, it kind of just…kept happening. You would be hanging out at one of your houses, just watching TV or eating dinner together, and then, suddenly, you were all over each other. You didn’t love BamBam. Not like that, at least. But he took care of you in a way no one else had ever really been able to.

One day, the two of you were backstage in the green room at one of his shows, something about the adrenaline pumping through his veins after a successful performance drew him straight to you like a magnet. The second he entered the room after his encore, he went straight to you, his lips attaching to yours, breathing you in like you were oxygen.

He had you pressed against the wall, one of his hands was wound tightly in your hair while the other fumbled with the button on your jeans. Your nails scratched at the exposed skin on his chest, the thin shirt he wore taking the brunt of the damage.

Neither of you heard the door creaking open, but when you opened your eyes to help BamBam with your jeans, you saw the back of Yugyeom’s head, fortunately facing away from the scene of you and your best friend making out as he spoke with a staff member. 

You quickly pushed BamBam off of you, shaking your head with wide eyes at the hurt expression on his face. He turned in confusion as you pointed at the door, his jaw dropping at the sight of your friend turned away from you in the doorway.

You somehow managed to somewhat smooth your hair and button your jeans back up before Yugyeom turned around. Fortunately, he figured the shocked expressions on your faces were just due to his surprise appearance, and not the fact that he’d almost caught two of his best friends trying to get into each other's pants.

After that, the two of you sat down and had a long discussion about the odd nature of your relationship. Deciding in the end, that it would be fine if you occasionally hooked up on the low. You were best friends, after all. Best friends were supposed to help each other out. But, none of your other friends could know. You both knew none of them would ever let you hear the end of it.

At first, you promised each other that you would only ever hook up in the privacy of your own homes- that would prevent anyone from accidentally walking in on you. Then, after one incident where you hooked up in a broom closet at one of the group's schedules, you decided that as long as whatever room you found yourselves in was locked, it would be fine. No need to wait until you got back home, or back to whatever hotel you were staying at.

Things got progressively more risky after that- empty rooms at fancy events, your own kitchen when other people were over, and now, Jaebeom’s bathroom while all your friends were in the other room. You silently prayed that the music your friends were enjoying in the living room was loud enough to drown out the sounds of your heavy breathing reverberating around the tile bathroom.

After you finished, BamBam helped you straighten out your clothes and hair, making sure neither of you looked like you just hooked up in a bathroom. He left the room first, leaving you to catch your breath and clean up as needed. You stared at yourself in the mirror as you washed your hands, the light sheen of sweat from your previous activities still shone on your forehead. You splashed some cold water on your face, a small creeping onto your face as you heard the group laugh, probably at some stupid joke BamBam told.

You left the bathroom after a respectable amount of time, hoping that with your late return, no one would catch on to the fact that you and BamBam had disappeared at the same time. You plopped down onto the couch next to Mark, settling into the cushions as he wrapped a friendly arm around your shoulder. 

Your face tinted pink as you made fleeting eye contact with BamBam as he sat across from you, his legs spread with his arm over the back of the couch, glass of red wine in hand. You looked away from him quickly as he flashed you a wink, your eyes inadvertently meeting Jaebeom’s, who raised a curious brow at the sight of your flushed face.

You stood from the couch, excusing yourself to get a drink from the kitchen. As soon as you were in the privacy of the kitchen, you leaned back on the counter, your hands on your face as you attempted to steady your breathing.

“You been borrowing BamBam’s cologne?”

You practically jumped out of your skin at the sound of Jaebeom’s voice behind you. You turned to see him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed as he observed you with that look on his face. You knew he knew.

But maybe you could talk your way out of it. “...what do you mean?”

He rolled his eyes as he walked further into the room, leaning forward on his hands against the counter across from you, his narrow eyes burning into you. “You smelled like him when you came back from the bathroom.”

“...Okay, weirdo.”

“Do you love him?”

So suddenly? Your jaw dropped at the question. How long has he known? “He’s my best friend. Of course I love him.”

“Don’t act dumb. You know what I mean.” He sighed, walking around the counter to stand next to you. “How long have you been sleeping together?”

“Jesus christ, Jaebeom. Keep it down!” You peered into the living room, making sure none of your friends had heard the question. Sighing, you turned back to Jaebeom, cheeks flushing red as he looked down at you, his face wholly unimpressed. “...about three years.”

“Oh my god.” He sighed, running a hand down his face. You didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed or offended. “Three years? Are you serious?”

You nodded dumbly, avoiding your friend’s judgemental gaze.

“God, you guys are stupid.”

“Hey! What the hell?”

“Nothing…just…” He took a deep breath, resting a hand on your shoulder. “I think you and Bam should talk.”

He left you with that ambiguous sentence. The weight of his words on your shoulders as you followed him back into the living room, taking your seat next to Mark. You deliberately avoided eye contact with BamBam the rest of the night- leaving the house quickly at the end of the night before he could corner you and ask you to come home with him.

“Talk to Bam” you didn’t know if you’d be able to look at him while your other friends were in the room ever again. They were starting to take notice of the way you’d been avoiding him, though. Asking if everything was okay between the two of you, if something had happened.

You were doing so well at avoiding him. You didn’t even know why you were. He was your best friend, the one person in the world who really knew you. And you were completely and totally shutting him out. Because one person found out.

It was nearing midnight, you were alone in your living room, a corny romcom playing on the TV while you cradled the bottle of red wine you were planning on drinking entirely on your own. You felt your eyes drifting closed, ready to fall into sleep when you heard your doorbell ring.

You groaned, setting the bottle on the table in front of you and pausing the movie before you stood, stretching your arms above your head as you slowly made your way to the front door. You figured it was just your neighbor, a nosy old woman who loved to come knocking on your door when you had the volume up just a notch too loud. You and BamBam had gotten plenty of noise complaints from her over the years.

“I know. I’m sorry, I’ll turn it down-” You sighed, opening the door, expecting to be met with the short old woman. But instead, you were met with the sight of your best friend, standing in front of you, tears actively running down his face. “BamBam? What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?” He sounded out of breath, as if he’d walked all the way from his home to yours. You nodded, standing aside for him to enter your house, watching as he wandered into your living room, standing in front of your small fireplace.

“Why are you here?”

He hummed, running his fingers over the framed pictures on your mantle, his hands stopping at a picture of the two of you back when he first debuted. It was taken not long after Youngjae, whom you’d known since middle school, introduced the two of you. You were so proud of your friends for debuting, you knew it was all they ever wanted. “I was just taking a walk, I had to think about some things. Ended up over here.”

What the hell?

“BamBam, it’s freezing outside. And you live halfway across the city.”

“I had a lot to think about.”

You watched silently as he stared at the picture. He turned around, the tears on his face still prominent as he looked at you with his big brown eyes. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

His bluntness stunned you, your jaw dropping slightly as his stare only intensified. “I…don’t know.”

“You know, you’re my best friend.” Fresh tears welled in his eyes. “We’ve been through a lot together. So if something’s happened, you know you can talk to me. Right?”

“Bam, nothing happened. I just…needed some space.” You stood your ground as he set the picture back on the mantle, taking a few steps closer to where you stood in the doorway.

“Space from what? From me?”

“Yes. Actually- no.” You sighed as his brows furrowed, confusion settling across his face. “Jaebeom knows, Bam. He knows about us.”

BamBam fell silent, nodding slowly as your words set in.

“Is that so bad?”

“...what do you mean by that? Of course it’s bad. No one else was ever supposed to find out.”

BamBam sighed, taking a few steps closer to you. “Did you really think no one would ever find out? How long were you expecting to keep that up?”

“I don’t know…”

He was standing right in front of you now. “Are you going to tell me that after all those years of sneaking around, you’re not in love with me, too?”

It felt like all the air had gotten knocked out of you. BamBam was so close you could feel his breath on you. Your eyes flitted up to his, the intensity in them as he stared down at you making you feel small. “What are you talking about?”

He leaned in close, his lips ghosting your jawline. “I’ve been in love with you since the first time I touched you.”

Shit. All those years of sneaking around, feeling each other up at every given chance, blushing whenever his eyes met yours in a crowded room, your head on his chest as he slept in your bed, watching him as he slept so peacefully, showering together, eating breakfast together, giving him a secret good luck kiss before he went on stage.

Friends don’t do that.

Not even friends that sleep with each other.

Your eyes met his again as he pulled away, your back now pressed against the wall, his arms on either side of you. The shift was instant. All those years of unrealized love came pouring out of you as you grabbed him by the collar, pulling him close. Your lips met his harshly, and he reciprocated immediately.

“I love you.” You whispered between kisses. His hands circled around your waist at your words, pulling you as close as could be.

“I love you, too.” He stumbled slightly as he attempted to walk backwards, “I always have.” Eventually, the backs of his knees met the couch. He fell backwards onto it, pulling you onto his lap, his hands trailing down to your hips, squeezing them tightly as your hands went to his hair.

“You’re mine.” You hummed against his mouth, sighing deeply as his beautiful lips trailed down to your collarbone, gently biting the skin, leaving his mark on you as he always wanted to. WIth fumbling hands, you began to unbutton his shirt, the exposed skin on his chest still cold to the touch from the outside air.

“I’m yours.”

You felt it as his gentle hands made their way under your shirt and to the small of your back, holding you with care, as if you would break if he was too rough. You felt it when he stood up, strong arms coming to your thighs as he carried you to his bedroom. And you felt it when he held your hands above your head as he leaned over you, his eyes glazed over, the sweat on his skin making his tan skin glow as he gave you all his love.

You didn’t always know it, you couldn’t always feel it, but he always was yours.

You

“How could you do this to me?! To US?! Do you know how embarrassed I was?!?!,” you yelled.

“Look Babe I’m sorry ok!”

“SORRY?! SORRY!! Really, that’s all you can say after you brought some random hoe to introduce to your parents while STILL with me??? Are you crazy or are you stupid??”

“Watch it.”

“Or what Brian? Huh? I gave up everything for you! I. Sacrificed a career for you and all you have to say is “sorry”!” You screeched at him.

“There it is. Blame me for everything. I am the problem!” He throws his hands up exasperated.

“You’re right, you are the problem! You acting like a big man now, like this don't phase you. But if it was me who stepped out of this relationship, you wouldn’t be able to handle it! You couldn’t!”

“Oh please! You would NEVER step out on me. You know why? Cause you don’t have it in you! You don’t! You’re too loyal to me.”

You bite your lip not saying anything because you know it’s true. You love him, you still do, even though he cheated.

“So how bout we just…forget about it huh? We forget about it and move on, we can’t change the past. So why dwell on it?” He smirks mockingly.

The easy and carefree look is snuffed out the moment the reality of the situation breaks through the sleeping fog in your mind. You pull away with a sharp inhale and Jackson clicks his tongue but chooses not to speak on it.  

“Have you eaten, Daisy?” He asks as he helps you sit up. Your stomach is getting larger and it is harder to hide it. You look beautiful pregnant but it still rubs Jackson the wrong way that the baby isn’t his. Will you love the bastard child more than him?

“Daisy?” Jackson reaches out to touch your stomach and you quickly wrap your arms protectively around it, blocking his hands. He sighs and licks his lips, “You’re not being very nice,” he glances up at your face and smiles. “I just want to say hello to the little one.”

“Please…don’t.”

Jackson frowns at your request. Why are you so afraid of him? He loves you. Isn’t that enough? He cocks his head to the side and watches as you try to make yourself smaller, pushing yourself farther into the couch and he frowns. 

“Y/N?”

Your eyes jump from his hands to his face and he slowly cups the side of your cheek, his thumb rough as he strokes the skin.

“I think it’s time to end this little game,” Jackson’s voice is soft as he speaks and your breath hitches as his hand slowly trails down to your throat. “Let’s get rid of it, Daisy.”

“N-No!” You cry, eyes wide as he stares down at your protruding stomach. You tighten your hold around your stomach and Jackson’s frown deepens.

Jackson’s fingers squeeze around your neck and he licks his lips. His eyes are dark, almost black and as he leans in, your noses press together as he speaks lowly. 

“No?” He chuckles flatly and smashes his lips into yours. 

Tears burn your eyes as you remove your hands from your stomach and press them against his chest. You push and push, trying to get Jackson away from you but it only seems to upset him. The kiss became harsher, full of teeth and tongue.

“P-Please stop?” You beg and Jackson tears himself away with a growl.

“Stop?! Stop…all you say is stop!!” Jackson’s chest heaves as he glares down at your stomach. “Why should I!?”

“You’re scaring me!” You cry and Jackson laughs, his eyes are wild as he rakes a hand through his messy hair.

“You’re always scared.”

“And who’s fault is that?!” 

Your eyes widen as you scream at Jackson and before he can respond, you push past him and run up the steps. 

Jackson watches as you disappear up the steps to your room. Your ass looks amazing in the olive sundress you are wearing and it makes heat curl in his stomach. From his spot, knelt on the floor, Jackson licks his lips (the taste of you still on his tongue) and stands to his full height. He grabs his glass of whiskey from the table and sips it slowly. He rolls his tongue in his mouth as vanilla and whisky mix together before he sighs again. He didn’t mean to snap at you. It was a long day and Yugyeom pushed all his buttons. He expected to come home to a hot cooked meal with you waiting for him, but what he found was you sleeping on the couch.

That isn’t what upset him. If anything his heart clenched in his chest as he watched the rise and fall of your breasts. He woke you up by softly stroking your face and kissing  your lips over and over. He smiled as your eyes fluttered open and the fear that he saw come to life irked him. It has been four months since he got you back. Long enough for you to get over your petty feelings and go back to the sweet woman he loved. This fearful little doe before him was not who he fell in love with.

"Ask me for anything, and it's yours.” Jackson cups your tear stained face in one of his hands and presses his forehead against yours. You can smell the alcohol on his breath and you want to push him away. The smell is too strong and makes you nauseous. “Anything, I swear it."

Through your tears, you shake your head, unable to believe his words. How many times has Jackson lied to you? Promised you such sweet dreams only to pull you into a never ending nightmare. 

"...Anything?"

"Yes. Name it." Jackson gives a slight nod of his head, staring right into your eyes, his breath mingling with yours from being so close.

Closing your eyes, you inhale and pray to whoever might answer you, "...Let me go."

Jackson’s body tenses, his fingers digging into your cheek as his mind processes your request. You whimper, feeling the inside of your cheeks pressing into your teeth as Jackson’s grip on your face gets tighter and tighter.

“Look at me!” Jackson growls and your eyes snap open. Tears silently spill from those once warm brown eyes and Jackson shakes his head slowly, your foreheads rubbing against each other. “You. Are. Mine.” Your noses smush together as Jackson tries to crawl into your very soul. 

“Mine. But if you want to go...” Jackson’s hand falls from your face and drops to your shoulder. He doesn’t take his eyes off you as he presses his lips to yours. The kiss is salty, filled with tears and trembling movements as Jackson brings his other hand to your shoulder.

His hands are warm, so very warm as his thumbs rub gentle circles against your bare skin. Up, up, up. His hands move slowly and he nibbles on your lower lip. 

“Then go.” 

His hands wrap around your neck and your eyes widen as your air supply starts to lessen. Your claw at Jackson’s hands, tears falling from your eyes as you struggle to breath. Jackson pushes you back on the bed and straddles your lap as he squeezes harder.

“S-Stop!” You beg, fearing for not only your life but the life that is growing inside of you.

“J-Jack-” You kick your legs and cry, unable to pull Jackson’s hands off you.

Jackson’s eyes are wild as tears stream down his face. His words are jumbled, coated thickly with his tears as he whispers his love over and over again.

“P-Ple-”

Your hands reach for your stomach and you cry harder.

“O-Our ba-baby!”

Jackson laughs bitterly through his tears as he kisses the last of your breath away, “Goodbye babies.” 

His broken voice is the last thing you hear as you fade from the world…

— oneshots

»» First Time ♧ i. jaebeom ➥ 3.1k; Y/N's first time with her boyfriend

»» Second Time ♧ i. jaebeom ➥ 3.1k; ever since her first time with her boyfriend, Y/N has felt like he was holding back. so she decides to see for herself what he's really like in bed.

»» Never Mine ♤ w. jackson ➥ 2.3k; jackson has fallen in love with Y/N, only there's a problem. Jinyoung is her boyfriend.

»» the Day Death Fell in Love ♤♧ p. jinyoung ➥ 12.5k; they say you only become a grim reaper if you've done something terrible in a past life. Whether or not that's true, Jinyoung didn't care. He had a job to do and he did his job well, guiding souls to the afterlife. That is, until he met Y/N.