#vant?

I've been so tired recently. Not just form work, (which has been just a physical burden)

But honestly I have a lot of things I need to get done and kind of quickly, so I'm having to worry about that on top of my daily things, whatever they are.

I finally have a stable job, and 'stable' income from it even though it's just part time.

But I am planning to immigrate to another country as soon as possible.

Which means I need, lowball eq of 10k usd.

That's not impossible just takes time, a year and a half is what I have as my ideal time frame. But given expenses and how little I'm able to work, (job limit) it's putting me in the 2+ year mark as a 'fastest possible' time frame.

This and learning a new language, eating into time for myself. But I've been trying to, operative word, trying, balance out and enjoy myself. Since this is the first time in a number of years I've had this good a stable position to be in.

I've hummed and hawed at a lot of things I need to think about, and it really is quite difficult to determine a path.

Which is why I have overarching goals, and things I'm aiming to achieve with longer time frames, so I know what I'm working towards.

Even if it's not close down the line, it's something that keeps me focused. Though even if I say that I've had more difficulty keeping to it, since there's a lot on my plate.

I have been keeping to (trying rather) focus on the immediate with the 'big goal' at the end as a reference point.

Though that's just a theoretical, because it isn't easy really keeping up. And some of my goals do require a lot of relearning or acquiring of new skills.

This isn't asking for help or anything, just like I said talking to myself.

The only reason I talk to myself is because I don't really have people to talk with directly, since it tends to kill my motivation even more talking about my plans. I just want to go "I did x" / made/ whatever. It takes the doing it burden off.

But as a result it makes things otherwise more, thorny. I wouldn't say it's made them worse as its too relative to tell. But I do know it's come with it's own share of complications, evidently.

The other reason for the lack of outside perspective, I have so few to ask it's not actually viable for a complex conversation with the limited resources I have.

I have one person I talk to about this, and it's been of little insight or help with planning, more just allowing me to speak my peace, I guess.

The other consideration is of jobs, especially once moved. I've got skills, but ironically not to really pay bills. Not yet anyway-

So that puts a further damper on my plans, I'd only be employed in relatively basic fields of work, and likely be in a sideways movement rather than 'up' to a better position.

Which just concerns me, I can't do much about that given the global job market, you have to accept what's out of your control.

But that does eat into the (maybe) last point in this rambling.

My last 'goal' is that I've somehow managed to 1950s housewife myself, and the idea is to raise a child, tentatively.

"BuT NulL ThAt's baSic-"

The issue isn't that it's that I don't expect to have a partner, and am planning on not if anything. So that's where we run into a big heap of trouble (asterisk).

Generally no matter where I am in the world, it'd be quite the trouble trying to be a single parent, let along immigrating and being, relatively, new to living in the culture.

And no, before someone says something, it's not like a "Day 1, time to increase my child stat-"

It's planned out for several years into living... wherever I move to.

But I still am pretty sure that it's not going to just be as easy as "wait/ work that time away"

I don't know, I can't really know can I? (rhetorical)

Maybe I'll get lucky with a nice job, maybe I'll biff it big and make things worse. Can't really know until I take the risk.