me whenever a movie or show shows us flashbacks of a character and we see their hairstyle changing throughout the years: lol that’s so unrealistic nobody’s hairstyle changes that much throughout just 5 years

08.05.2020 for some unknown reason [aside: I love how I say ‘unknown’ but in reality it’s just me actively avoiding thinking about the reason because that’s how I deal with things, I don’t, and I convince myself there is no problem because if there was a problem I would deal with it, but I don’t want to acnkowledge what might be going on here] I’ve been feeling more and more conscious about the aesthetic impacts of aging. As a kid I remeber being strongly anti-Botox, no idea why, I just had this belief that people should age gracefully. Now I’m living in an age where it’s strange not to be getting preventatives, lifts, tucks, fillers, consuming collagen, lathering your face in serums, face masking on a daily...Ive got friends barely in their 20s who are dependent on staying young using these methods whilst they are still young, and honestly I’m dumbfounded. But I’m also confused as to where I sit, someone who doesn’t want needles stuck in my forehead, someone who has started to notice the fine lines that have come as a result of my stress-related twitches and being at the very late end of my 20s. Sometimes I lie awake at night struggling with how my face is aging compared to others after going through my life with people thinking I’m so much younger than I am. Honestly I’m not sure what to do, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to be dependent on fillers to keep me feeling ok about the way I’ve looked after actively avoiding makeup my whole life because I don’t want to depend on it. Breathe. I guess when it comes down to it, maybe it doesn’t matter, maybe I need to work harder to feel comfortable in my own skin, to be comfortable with aging like the kid in me would say, to accept that what’s normal for others does not have to be normal for me, to not be hard on myself if I do decide I want needles stuck in my head.