When writer Roxane Gay dubbed herself a "bad feminist," she was making a joke, acknowledging that she couldn't possibly live up to the demands for perfection of the feminist movement. But she's realized that the joke rang hollow. In a thoughtful and provocative talk, she asks us to embrace all flavors of feminism -- and make the small choices that, en masse, might lead to actual change.
“Make it work with your wet t-shirt. Bitch, you gotta shake it ‘til your camel starts to hurt!”
Only a handful of people know this: When I was in undergrad, I entered and placed in a wet T-shirt contest. Ok, all of the attendees of that beach-themed keg party might remember. That same year, I did a little research project on what people thought of the term feminist, and if there was anything about the term with which they could identify with - positive or negative. Read: I let them decide on a definition, pick the parts for them. I was surprised with the results. Whereas the definitions spanned well-documented categories in different ideological ways, very few wanted anything to do with the term at all. Among those few, men more likely to proudly claimed the feminist label. My favourite reason goes: “Who doesn’t want more strong and beautiful women, so we can be weak and ugly sometimes?”
That was more than a decade ago and I have to admit that I continue to be both amazed by the actions, and yet not surprised by the stigmatization of feminism. The in-fighting can be the worst for solidarity; and at the same time, a sign of needed resistance because we’re not all the same. The men I am still in touch with who claimed to be feminists are doing awesome things, and when it’s with women, they are amazingly strong and beautiful! Chances are you are too.
This talk resonates with me mostly; except that beyond equality, equity is a bigger focus. But listen to Roxane to the end - semantics. Then google that song if you’re out of the loop like me.
Damn, catchy tunes. My “guilty pleasures” include anything by R.Kelly, Bobby Brown, and Chris Brown. And while I don’t often watch music videos, I actually search and sit to watch the Dirty video with Christina Aguilera. IF and My Vag by Janet Jackson and Awkwafina, respectively, are some of my favourites - and could be analyzed forever. Not going into the forces forming the music industry. Violently oppressive in more ways than one, and all so catchy - to me. There’s a reason I prefer songs that have lyrics in languages I don’t understand. Unless you’re doing something, then as Salt ‘n Pepa put it best: None of your business. Yes, I’m a bit behind when it comes to music. Suggestions?
And yes, I’m still a feminist and learning as I go... for example, not to enter wet t-shirt contests when it’s cold, there are no towels to speak of, and women are merely drunk participants. It took me a long time and I continue to get over the real and fake voices criticizing my ways of being a feminist. I remind myself that we’ll trip a little as we grow in power and might as well turn it into a dance with a catchy lil’ diddy. As Roxane Gay writes in Bad Feminist, “I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.”
Here’s Roxane Gay’s talk: Confessions of a bad feminist
