#vampire!neil

"Cleanup by the refrigerators. Cleanup by the refrigerators."

Andrew lips moved soundlessly to Fall Out Boy, willfully ignoring the fact that refrigerators was in his section of the store and thus his responsibility should there be a call made to it.

"Cleanup by the refrigerators. Cleanup by the refrigerators."

Andrew juggled three snickers bars to the beat, tossing them onto the shelf just as the guitar solo started.

"Cleanup by the refrigerators. Cleanup -- Goddamnit Minyard get your ass over to refrigerators and clean the mess up."

Welp, he tried. With a heavy sigh, Andrew dropped the candy in his hands back into the box he'd been unloading, then gave two middle-fingers to the nearest camera.

The gruff voice over the intercom said, "Don't be a cheeky bastard, you little ingrate. Just do your damn job."

"Yeah, yeah," Andrew muttered to himself, rolling his eyes as he turned to head down the aisle. From all those crashes it was sure to be an epic mess. Maybe he wasn't as okay with this job as he thought he was.

Whatever Andrew thought he was expecting to see when he rounded the corner, it was not what he actually saw.

Because there, sitting in the middle of fallen displays and drenched in both blood and pink lemonade with an unconscious (dead?) human sprawled across his lap, was an annoyingly pretty disaster of a vampire.

Andrew stared at the tableau for a long moment, the tugged his headphones down around his neck and moved forward, surveying more of the damage as he got closer. Two of the displays near the fridges had been completely toppled, sending s'mores supplies and snack cakes as far out as lunchmeat on one side and paper goods on the other. There wasn't as much liquid on the floor as Andrew suspected there might be, the blood confined only to the vampire's actual person and only a small pool of pink lemonade leaking out of the nearest container. Upon closer inspection, the human appeared mostly unharmed and definitely alive, as he was breathing. He didn't have a drop of blood on him.

The vampire flashed fang as he gave a weak sort of smile. "I know this looks bad, but I swear, it's not."

"Uh-huh. Right." Andrew crouched down and picked up the carton of pink lemonade. It wasn't even opened properly. There were punctures in the side exactly the right size and distance to have been caused by pretty-vamp's fangs.

Andrew turned the carton to show the leaky punctures to the guilty vampire.

"I was thirsty?"

"Mm. What about the snack draped over your lap?" Andrew gestured at the guy, who was, admittedly, definitely a snack. He was significantly bigger than either himself or the vampire, with black hair and a small tattoo of a chess piece on the crest of one cheek.

The vampire did not seem to share Andrew's opinion. His pretty face screwed up in distaste, those damn-near cerulean eyes flashing with ire. "Ugh. No way. I only drink from Kevin when I'm on my deathbed."

"Is that your way of telling me that he's your boyfriend and you nip him every night, then?"

"What? No?" The blatant confusion on the vampires face had Andrew sighing. The vampire shook his head. "Look, I'm sorry about the lemonade. I was going to pay for it, but it couldn't wait." The skepticism must have been visible enough on Andrew's face for even this idiot to be able to read it because the vampire sighed and continued after just a short judgmental pause.

"I don't drink human blood. That brand of lemonade in addition to regular food can keep me going for weeks at a time without me having to go after animals either."

A vegan vampire, now Andrew had seen everything.

"Right, so why is your boyfriend passed out?"

"Not my boyfriend. The dumbass decided to go out while sick with moon-fatigue. He fainted."

Moon fatigue? Andrew looked back down at the man in the vampire's lap. That meant that 'Kevin' wasn't a human at all, but a were-something.

Instead of commenting on this, Andrew refocused on the vampire's face and said, "You sure you aren't dating?" Because it seemed pretty fated, a dumbass vampire who starves himself to the point where he has to raid the local grocery store for magical lemonade, hooking up with a dumbass were-somethingorother that resisted the change to the point where he got sick and then went out like that, thus necessitating the aforementioned situation where stupid starved vampire has to come rescue him. Speaking of... Andrew took another look at the carton in his hand and memorized the brand. There was no way he was ingesting anything that was able to keep a vampire off his bloodlust for weeks on end.

"Very," the vampire confirmed. Then he sighed and looked down at his friend for a moment before smacking him sharply enough that the sound even got a little echo. "Wake up, asshole!"

Kevin jolted awake with a lurch, then moaned and covered his face his hands. "The liiiiiights, they're so briiiiiight. Neiiiiiiiiiil where aaaaaare weeeeee?"

The vampire - Neil - rolled his eyes and gestured to the man in his lap. "See what I have to deal with?" He shook his head and shoved Kevin off his lap before standing. He was a little shaky as he rose, but managed to keep his feet. "Get up Kev. Thanks to you there's a huge ass fucking mess and if we ever want to come back again we're gonna have to help clean it up."

"Nooooooo."

"Yeeeeeees."

Kevin peaked his eye open, saw Andrew, and pointed. "Make him do it. Its basically his job!"

"I don't work here," Andrew said immediately, despite the violently orange vest he was wearing that sported both a name-tag and the logo for Palmetto Grocery.

Then a truly awful thing happened: Neil grinned at him. It was like the goddamn moon rising over an enchanted fucking lake, is what it was. Those blue eyes shined and his whole face softened. Two perfect dimples winked at him, his fangs flashing in a way that was both really sexy and kinda... cute. Even with the blood-spatter on his face the man was downright captivating.

Kevin woozily stumbling to his feet snapped Andrew out of his momentary stupor. The were looked from Neil to Andrew and sighed, shaking his head. "Tiny assholes. I am surrounded by tiny assholes." Then he turned and began to shuffle around, picking up boxes of Twinkies and stacking them in one arm.

Andrew turned back to Neil. "So if all you are here for is lemonade, why are you covered in blood?" It distantly occurred to Andrew that this probably should have been the first question he asked.

Neil shrugged. "Had to kill someone when I picked up Kevin."

Ah, well, that was that then. Andrew nodded his understanding and the two of them joined Kevin dealing with the mess. It was after Andrew had righted the display fixtures and Neil had started stacking all the boxes on them upside down that Neil looked over at him and asked, "Do you usually work nights?"

Andrew paused, blinked, and looked over at him. "Why?"

"Just curious. Kev and I are new to town."

"I am not a tour guide."

Ugh, no there it was again - that grin. This time accompanied by a short, bright laugh.

"Understood." Neil placed the last box on the top of the fixture, somehow getting it to balance on a single corner. Satisfied, he then looked back at Andrew, still fucking smiling. "I guess I'll see you around, then."

"You confuse me," Andrew said, almost without meaning to.

Another fang-flashing grin. "I'm a bit of a puzzle."

Andrew studied him for a moment, considering. He wondered if the idiot vampire even realized he was flirting with him. It sure seemed intentional - but he hesitated to give the dumbass that much credit.

"I guess I will just have to solve you then," Andrew finally said.

"Guess so." Neil then had the audacity to wink, and Andrew's ears turned pink. Intentional then, definitely intentional.

Luckily, Neil had turned to collect his friend, so probably didn't see his traitorous ears. The vampire looked back at him one more time, just long enough to raise a hand in farewell, before leading Kevin away from the refrigerators. Andrew tracked him with his eyes until they turned the corner, and were gone.