“Inquisitive Readers of The V.V. have been demanding my take on the current situation, and so we are pleased to announce this special bulletin updating our loyal cohort. As you all know, it has become evident that Ralphio Kowalski will remain mayor, even as the last few uncounted votes trickle in. Unrest in the streets has reached full on protests as some citizens claim that the election was manipulated by unseen forces. However, none of this terrible decorum displayed by the masses compares to the horrifying information my top secret sources brought to me this evening. It would appear that the NYPD has reason to believe that some sort of bomb or weapon may be concealed within the courthouse at this very moment! I know that all of you, dear Readers, are as shocked and titillated as I am! With hundreds of people on both sides of the election gathered on the steps, and the banquet for the mayor and his campaign donors scheduled this evening, we can only hope that New York’s finest will keep us all safe once again.”









