#valien

“Ah. Yeah. That kid I told you about – one of the daemon’s Phosa and Linast have been talking to, that world where I’ve been testing the new containment spell – she’s throwing a party, invited the three of us. Just for the sake of it, as near as I can tell. Linast talked Phosa into it.”

“I knew I recognized the name. You should go, too.”

Diamond rolls his eye. “Like hell I should. I can’t waste a trip on a party, Valien.”

“You can and you will. If you take the next few weeks off, then you can keep an eye on this ball – metaphorically – and make sure it doesn’t get out of hand.”

“What in the world are you on about?” Diamond asks with a frown. Valien’s timeline is incredibly unrealistic. “The next manual check is–”

Valien shifts. “Um. Look. I, uh. I already talked to Sondra. She’s gonna take over the next few monitoring station visits. You can check the one on this world while you’re there for the ball– it won’t do any harm to get to it a bit early– but other than that…”

Diamond’s frown turns into a glare. “It sounds like you have this all planned out.”

“…well the ball is new. Obviously. That, I just think those kids could use watching and I know you like music. If you actually don’t want to, that's fine. But the rest… yeah. We’ve been talking about redistributing the workload for the next few months.”

“And this is the first I’m hearing of it because…?”

“How many seizures have you had this month, Diamond.”

Diamond grimaces, his stomach sinking at Valien’s flat tone. “…five.”

“And the month before that?”

Diamond groans and lets his head fall back against the couch, staring blindly up towards the ceiling. “You’ve made your point,” he mutters. That doesn’t mean he has to like the overreach, or that he wants to talk about it. Quite the contrary, in fact.

Valien continues, unyielding. “And have you or have you not completely refused to delegate anything unless we just proactively do it before you can get to it.”

“Valien–”

“You didn’t even mention it, Diamond!” Valien exclaims. Diamond winces at the genuine distress that suddenly suffuses his tone, at the sharp spike of it against his senses. “I knew about the seizure you had at home, but I only found out about the others because Sondra asked how you were doing after the two last week, and— I just… I don’t know. We started talking about what we could do about it in the same conversation. I didn’t mean to make any actual decisions behind your back, but… but damn it, you need a break.”

“You can’t just…” 

No. Stop.

Diamond takes a calming breath. With deliberate care, he sets aside the half-formed, uncharitable notion of Valien conspiring with the Spire medics and monitoring his activities. He should have known better than that, at least. He finds Valien’s hand and squeezes it. “…look. I hear what you’re saying. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“That sounds like you’re leading up to a ‘but’,” Valien mutters, even as his hand tightens around Diamond’s.

“Well for one thing, I would have appreciated it if you’d brought it up as an actual conversation rather than trying to make some sort of fucking decree out of the blue. Even if planning with Sondra just got away from you, acting like it was already decided is bullshit.”

“That’s… fair. This isn’t how I meant to do things. I’m sorry.”

Diamond sighs, closing his eye. He doesn’t want to talk about this. But he’s clearly avoided it for too long already, and he isn’t going to get a better opening than this. 

“I have been talking to the medics about it, believe it or not. Millie thinks it’s just sleep disruption and stress. Madras… Madras thinks we might have overestimated how often I can leave the Spire over the long term, with the last assessment.”

“Fucking hell, Diamond.”

“I’ve been… I don’t know what I’ve been doing," he admits, pulling up each reluctant word one at a time. "Just... putting it off, I suppose. I wanted to at least finish the current phase of the project.”

Valien leans against his side, head sinking onto his shoulder, and Diamond releases his hand in favor of wrapping an arm around his back. His emotions are tangled, registering to Diamond’s telepathy with no more clarity than a general sense of tension. “So… I was right, then? Stress or soul strain, either way a break would help.”

Diamond grits his teeth. It isn’t even just irritation with Valien anymore; he’s anxious, the thought of fully acknowledging the situation twisting uncomfortably in his chest. Finding his voice feels like drawing acid up his throat. “...yes.”

“You… you can’t afford uncontrolled seizures, Diamond. You’re almost eighty. They take too much out of you even when you do get enough warning to get somewhere safe. And I know you have safeguards for your spells, but it’s still…”

“Yes. I know, Valien.” 

“So… what’s the plan?” It isn’t a patronizing ‘I told you so’ prompt; Valien sounds subdued, genuinely uncertain what choice Diamond is going to make. 

Diamond hates that his own damn foolishness has the power to frighten people like this. He grimaces and runs his free hand down his face.

“The plan… is to take a vacation, I guess.” Which is more or less admitting that Diamond didn’t have a plan until Valien shoved one at him. Before Valien has the chance to dwell on that for too long, Diamond nudges Valien with his knee. “I’d hate to mess up whatever schedule you’ve worked out with Sondra, after all.”

Valien snorts, and Diamond can sense his relief. “‘Course. Can’t have that.”

“Though what the hell you think I’m going to do with myself for a solid fucking month is beyond me.” Diamond isn’t entirely joking. Projects are just what he does with his time; part of how he staves off dangerous moods.

“I’m sure we can come up with something. Just. Less magic and travel, yeah?”

“Except for the sake of an adolescent’s party, apparently.”

“Well I didn’t know Madras thinks your actual soul might be pulling apart at the seams again, now did I,” Valien mutters. “But… I mean. Three weeks to recover, one short trip, time to recover after… that’s probably fine, right? It’s way less than you’ve been doing.”

“True.” Diamond sighs and tilts his head, pressing his cheek into Valien’s dreads. “...and you’re right, someone should be there. The only adult I actually know is likely to attend is Hax, and that’s assuming their incoming child doesn’t interfere.”

“Good grief.”

“I said ‘that I know.’ There probably will be others, I just – don’t know how many, or who they are.”

“And this is a guest list chosen by the kid who hasn’t been scared off by you, Phosa, or Linast? I take it back. That’s ground zero. You’re staying home.”

Diamond smirks, weary and a bit savage at the edges. “Nope! Too late. You said I’m going, I guess I’m going. I’m feeling orthodox all of a sudden, couldn’t possibly imagine disregarding Valien’s original Commandments – ”