#utopia series

“Still wearing my shirt I see.” He mumbles, opening one button to reveal the peak of my breasts. “And no bra on either.” He tuts before opening another. “It’s almost like you wanted me to find you in here like this.” His lips move lower as he opens the top of the shirt and places kisses on my breasts.

“Mingi…” I whine pathetically as my head falls back when his lips connect with my nipple. My fingers thread through his hair as he teases it with his tongue before doing the same to the other one.

Mingi suddenly spins us around and lifts me onto the island counter. “At least you are wearing shorts.” He chuckles as he pulls my legs around his waist before kissing me. My arms wrap loosely around his shoulders as I smile into the kiss. His hands move up from my thighs to my waist and around my back. The kiss is slow and soft, but full of passion, too. Little moans and whines coming from us both as we press our bodies closer. One of his hands goes to my thigh, squeezing the flesh before moving underneath the shirt and resting on my lower back.

We are so lost in one another we don’t notice the bacon start to burn until the smell hits us. Mingi immediately pulls away from me and moves the pan off the hob, turning it off at the same time.

“Guess the bacons ruined.” He laughs as he shows me the blackened meat 

“Yeah, there is no saving that.” I giggle as he puts in the bin. “Can’t believe you made me burn my food!”

“Well, maybe next time I won’t give you kisses.” he grins, placing his hands flat on the counter on either side of my hips.

“No!” I pout playfully, pulling him towards me. “I want your kisses.”

“hmm, I don’t know. What if my lips distract you again?” he teases as his lips ghost over my own.

“Next time, I’ll turn the gas off so you can distract me with these lips as much as you want.” I grin before kissing him once more.

“Since the bacon is now ruined, how about I make us something?” he asks as our lips 

“You want to cook for me?” I ask, raising my eyebrows at him.

“I didn’t say cook!” He chuckles. “Unless putting milk into cereal and bread into a toaster counts as cooking.” “Bread in the toaster possibly, but milk in cereal, not so much.” I laugh 

“So toast then?” He grins. His lips are so close to mine that I can feel his breath. “That way I can say I cooked for you!”

“Toast sounds good!” I nod softly, kissing him.

He lifts me off the island counter and puts me on the ground, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. I wince lightly at a slight burning in my thighs. Thankfully, Mingi doesn’t see it. We get to work on the toast, Mingi asking if I can make him a cup of my ‘british tea’. I am always trying to convert people to this type of tea as it is honestly the best tea ever, so hearing him ask makes me happy, and smile like an idiot as I pour him a mug. I begin with one sugar and a drop of milk and get him to try it, adjusting each component until it’s at a level he likes and it seems 4 teaspoons of sugar and a standard amount of milk is how he likes it. For me, it is lots of milk and 2 sugars. We eat our toast and drink our tea in the dining area before washing up and going into the lounge.

“When are you going for your run?” Mingi asks as we sit down on the sofa.

“I don’t feel up to it this morning.” I reply as he opens his arms for me to cuddle into him.

“Are you ok?” He asks. “It isn’t like you not to go for a run.”

“I am fine.” I smile at him as we hear someone come downstairs. “More than fine, actually. Just tired from last night.” I add quietly. “In a good way.” I lean up to kiss his cheek. 

While I was tired, I didn’t want to tell him that my thighs and legs were feeling rather tender. When I had woke up this morning, they were aching and there were some bruises on them from the previous nights activities. I was reluctant to let Mingi see them in case he thought he had hurt me, so I pull the bottom of his shirt over my thighs more to cover them.

“Good morning!” Yunhos usual cheery voice says as he walks to the kitchen.

“Morning!” Mingi and I say at the same time and in the same tone, but our eyes focused on one another.

“Did I really tire you out that much?” He whispers, his fingers touching my neck.

“Anyone want coffee?” Yunho’s voice comes from the kitchen

“Well, not so much the first time, but by the third time, I was exhausted.” I grin at him as his face comes closer to mine. “I don’t even know how you had the stamina for that 4th round.” A small giggle escapes me as he looks very pleased with himself.

“Well, to be honest, the 4th time was a lazy spoon.” He smirks as he pulls me onto his lap sideways.

“Lazy? You were rather spirited towards the end.” I raise my eyebrows at him as I wrap my arms around his shoulders 

“Coffee? Anyone?” Yunhos voice says again, louder this time.

“We are good.” Mingi replies to him, leaning over. “It was hard not to get ‘spirited’ when you were moaning my name so beautifully, digging your nails into my arm and making me feel so good.” His lips finally touching mine.

I kiss him back as we both giggle. His arms pull me closer to him. I feel like I cannot get enough of him. He has me held tightly to his body, his hands on my waist, his lips on mine, and despite that, I want more of him. I break the kiss to ask if he wants to go back to my bedroom when Yunhos teasing voice comes from the doorway stops me. “So I am assuming you two had a good night?”

I find myself putting my head into Mingis neck, knowing my face is turning red. I feel his arms move higher around me in a protective manner.

“Yunho.” Mingi warns lightly

“I am just messing with you.” Yunho chuckles as I turn my head to look at him while still keeping it safely in Mingis neck. “I am sorry Luna.” he adds with a more sincere tone as he sits on the other side of the sofa from us

“It is ok, I know you are only teasing.” I say “I should go get a shower. I need to leave for the office soon.”

“I can take my coffee upstairs if you two want some more time alone.” Yunho replies as I push myself up from Mingis lap. His hands hold on to my hips, helping to keep me steady. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable with what I said.”

“Of course you didn’t. I genuinely need a shower. I feel so icky from last night.” I say as Mingi stifles a laugh and I realise what I’ve said. “I mean from the sweat.” I add, Yunhos turn to hide a laugh “because it was hot! In bed! My room was hot!” With each sentence, I am making it worse and I can feel my face getting redder as they both begin to laugh. “I am just going to shut up.” I say, covering my face.

“Oh princess, don’t be embarrassed.” Mingi laughs as I feel his hands move around my waist, his head resting on my stomach.

“I am not embarrassed, you two are just dirty minded!” I laugh, taking my hand away from my face to play with Mingis hair, but inside I am a tiny bit embarrassed at my stumbling attempt to put across what I meant. It doesn’t help that I am standing here wearing the shirt Mingi was wearing yesterday during his birthday live and Mingi is still in only his boxers. It’s pretty obvious to Yunho that we were together last night.

“I’ll come too. I need to get my things from your room.” Mingi says standing up.

“I’ll see you later on.” I say to Yunho as he smiles back at me, taking a sip of his coffee. Mingi follows me into my bedroom. As I look out my clothes for the day, he collects his things from my bedroom floor. I take off his shirt and replace it with my fluffy dressing gown.

“Thank you for yesterday.” He smiles at me as I hand the shirt back to him. “I enjoyed spending the day with you and the night, too. And not just because of the sex. I’ve loved falling asleep with you in my arms and waking up to you beside me too the past 2 nights.”

“Me too.” I smile as he puts his arms around my shoulders. “I am glad we got time alone together.”

“So am I, princess.” He says before kissing me. I smile into the kiss at the sound of his nickname for me. No one has ever called me this and I like it. I like all the nicknames so far. Seonghwas darling, Yunhos little one, Sans sunshine. It made me feel special to them. The kiss is soft and affectionate. When our lips part he whispers “I hope you know how happy you make all of us.” and instantly my face heats and I know I am blushing like crazy but he pulls me into his body and my face is hidden from view in his bare chest. “I will let you get into the shower.” He says after a few moments of cuddling. “I’ll see you later, though.”

He pulls away from me to look at my face and I pray the blushing has calmed down. It’s still hot so I am not hopeful it has but if it is he isn’t letting on he can see it. Instead, he leans down and kisses me once more before finally letting go of my body. I watch as he puts his trousers on and the shirt that I was wearing the entire night. He smiles softly and says, “smells just like you.”

“I hope that’s in a good way and not a stinky way.” I laugh.

“A very good way. I can smell your perfume on it faintly. I love the way you smell. In a nonperverted way!” He chuckles. “It calms me. Probably why I have slept so well these past 2 nights.”

“Well, I can always spray something with my perfume so you can smell me whenever you want to.” I offer.

He smiles widely at me and I feel a flutter in my heart at how beautiful his smile is, how it honestly lights up the room and makes me smile back at him. “I would really like that.”

An hour later, I am showered and ready to leave for work. Everyone is upstairs getting ready for their own day of work, so I am in the kitchen making sure I have everything I need when Jongho walks in. He stops when he sees me and takes 2 steps backwards and goes around the corner again. I don’t think he realises I saw him out the corner of my eye as my head is down while I finish packing my things. 

He was still reluctant to be alone with me and while I understand why; it was beginning to hurt a little. I was trying hard to put him at ease and be comfortable around me, but there was still some barrier between us. It was mind-boggling too, as we are really chatty to one another but the second we are alone; it is awkward silence, and he leaves as quickly as he can. I am surprised when he comes back in to the kitchen moments after backing out of it. 

“Morning.” He smiles at me, his hand touching my back as he walks past me. I am surprised at the touch, but I don’t mind it either. “Are you coming to the studio with us?” He asks me as he pours himself a coffee

“I will be there later for the fancalls but hopefully I can get there before the performance, but I have 2 meetings in the office today.” I answer, putting my laptop in my bag. “I have my first work review, too.” I sigh lightly as I feel the nerves bubble inside my stomach. 

“You aren’t worried about it, are you?” He asks, walking over to me.

“I keep trying to tell myself it will be fine. It will be like work reviews I’ve had in the past, but I am really anxious.” I decide to be honest instead of putting a fake smile on and lying to him. I softly rub my wrist through my sleeve. It was something I did when I would feel anxious. It was more for reassurance that I am OK, that although I am anxious in that moment that things are not as bad as they once were, and not about hurting myself.

“Please don’t worry.” He says.

“I know I shouldn’t, but I love this job more than anything. It’s what I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid, what I studied for and came to Korea for. If I lose this job, I don’t know what I will do.” I say, “and then I’ll have to leave you all.” I add quietly 

“Hey, don’t think like that, sweetheart.You aren’t going anywhere.” His hand delicately cups my cheek. I feel my stomach flip at both his touch and the affectionate name. “It will go well. You are the best English teacher we’ve had. You have nothing to worry about.” he carries on, his thumb stroking my face.

“I hope so.” I sigh lightly.

“You want me to break an apple in half?” He grins as I laugh.

He knows how much I love his apple breaking skills.

“Maybe later. If the review goes badly, then I will bring an apple and you can make me forget it with your mad skills.” I say.

“Deal, but it won’t go badly. Trust me.” He smiles. “Still bring an apple, though. I need to impress you and if apple breaking is it, then I’ll break all the damn apples.”

“You don’t need to impress me.” I smile at him.

We share a little moment of silence as we both smile at one another. It isn’t often we are alone like this. “Luna, I was wondering if we could…” He begins but Wooyoung shouting from the lounge that Myeonjin was pulling into the private garage downstairs, makes him stop and he pulls his gaze away from me. I feel my body shift slightly, wondering what he was going to ask, and a little frustrated he got interrupted. Obviously not at anyone in particular, just in general. 

I am about to ask him what he was saying when he lifts my bag and puts it over my shoulder, gently removing my hair from the strap so it didn’t get caught. I feel suddenly shy as he smiles at me. This is the most affectionate he has been with me.

“It’s cold this morning.” He says, pulling both sides of my long grey coat together and doing the buttons. My heart is racing and I pray he can’t feel it through my chest as his fingers close the buttons at the top of my coat.

“You look really pretty today.” He says quietly, his hand touching my face again. “Well, everyday I mean. But especially today.” He adds rather quickly as I smile gently at how flustered he has suddenly become.

“Thank you Jongho.” I say softly. “I guess I’ll see you later at the studio.” I reluctantly move away from him and towards the hallway.

“Luna!” I hear him say, causing me to turn around. I see he is holding up an apple in both hands and he very easily and perfectly splits it down the middle, a massive smile on his face.

“Bravo!” I laugh and clap as he hands me one half.

“Eat this in the car and don’t worry about your meetings.” He smiles at me before taking a bite from the other half.

As I walk into the hallway to put my shoes on, I see Yeosang standing there with a smile on his face, holding my usual sneakers in his hand. “What are you doing?” I giggle as he signals for me to sit down on the small bench.

“Putting your sneakers on for you.” He smiles as I sit down. A small hiss escapes me as a pain shoots through my legs at dropping onto the bench too quickly 

“Are you okay?” He asks looking into my eyes 

“Fine, sat down too fast. Hit my back off the wall. My clumsiness kicking in as usual!” I laugh. I wasn’t about to tell him my legs were aching because Mingi and I were having sex most of the night!

“As long as you are not hurt!” He says 

“I am all good!” I smile at him.

I watch his face as he puts my sneakers on and ties them. I’ve never had someone do these things for me, little things like this, but I am enjoying these things they all do for me. He fixes the bottom of my trousers over the sneakers before standing up and holding out his hand for me. As soon as I am upright, his lips capture mine. It takes me by surprise, but I melt into him. My fingers grip onto the sides of his t-shirt. One hand cups my cheek and the other moves to my lower back, pulling me closer to him as he backs me up against the wall. 

This was twice now he has got me in the hallway, trapped between himself and the wall and I was not complaining at all. I like this side of Yeosang, the assertive, almost dominant side that I never expected from him. My mind wonders if he is this way in bed, too, which causes my fingers to grip his T-shirt tighter at the sheer idea of it. My thoughts are interrupted when he pulls his lips away from mine.

“I’ll see you at the studio later.” He says, his tone is more of a question than a statement.

“Of course.” I reply, looking into his brown eyes. “I will be there as soon as I’ve finished at the office.”

“Good.” He sighs lightly, almost in relief that I will be there. “I’ll let you go to work.” He pulls away from me more, but I lean forward and kiss his lips once more. Craving just one more fleeting kiss from him before I have to leave. He smiles shyly at me when we part and he opens the door for me. “I’ll see you later.” I say, smiling at him as I walk out the door. Once again, I walk towards the lift as if I am floating on a cloud. This was becoming a habit now.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The conference room is already busy when I walk in. I find a seat in the corner and sit down. I hadn’t really had a proper chance to speak to the other staff members yet, and this was my first official meeting, too. Everyone was talking happily to one another as I sat by myself. In the opposite corner I see the 2 staff members from the other day. They are whispering things to one another and giggling. Just like the other day.

“Ok, everyone is here, so let’s get started.” Myeonjin says as he walks in.

The entire room goes quiet and I see most people opening their laptops and begin typing. I quickly open mine and log in. This is my first meeting, and no one has briefed me on what it was about, what I would do in it, etc. So I decide to just copy what others are doing. I notice the guy beside me has a text document open, so I open mine.

“We have a lot of things coming up so everyone will be busy. As usual, I urge you all to work together and help others wherever possible!” He says, his eyes focusing on the 2 women in the corner. “Once promotions are over, we have a lot of filming schedules coming up. Both as a group and individually.”

My eyes shift to the laptop beside me and I see the guy is typing pretty much what Myeonjin is saying.

“Before we start, it is important that you all need to know that we have a member of staff who has severe allergies.” He says as I feel my stomach drop. I did not know he was going to mention this. I look up from my laptop at him, my eyes wide. “While on tour and in the office, there will be no seafood available.” I hear a couple of people groan lowly, clearly annoyed.

“Why?!” I hear one of the women asks loudly

“Because it is too dangerous, Chaeyoung!” Myeonjin sighs

“So why not just keep that ‘member of staff’ away from the food and let us enjoy what we want to eat?” She asks. I notice she looks me dead in the eyes and has a tone of disgust in her voice as she says ‘member of staff’. I suddenly feel very self-conscious.

“That is not how it works. A food allergy as severe as this needs to be taken serious. If you want seafood, you are welcome to buy your own and consume it in a safe place.” He replies. “I am sure you all remember the peanut incident last year!”

“So because one person can’t tolerate it, we have to use our own money to buy our own?” She continues. “How is that fair? It is just one person!!”

“A food allergy is a little more than not being able to ‘tolerate’ a certain food!” one of the hair stylists Jiyeon says. “Because someone left peanuts in the makeup room at my workstation, I ended up in hospital!” I didn’t realise she had a food allergy. 

“So dramatic! You coughed, got a shot with that thing in your bag and were fine!” Chaeyoung scoffs and I am shocked. At her attitude and her words. Anaphylaxis shock is more than a cough. Having to get an epi-pen shot isn’t nice and you certainly aren’t ‘fine’ after it either. Even a small one can leave you exhausted for days afterwards. I see Jiyeon shoot Chaeyoung daggers with her eyes before looking away from her.

“Chaeyoung I will not argue with you on this matter!” Myeonjin interjects. “We will still provide food for staff members, but if anyone wants seafood, you pay for it yourself, consume it in a safe manner and not in a work environment either.”

“This is bullshit.” The other woman says under her breath, but loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Which is exactly what she wanted, given the smirk on her face right now.

“Same goes for you, Iseul! If anyone else has a problem with this, then feel free to come talk to me about it. I will not discuss this any further in here!” He says sternly.

My eyes look towards the 2 women and I can see them staring at me. Their eyes are narrowed, and it is making me feel really uncomfortable. I begin to wonder what I did to make them act this way towards me when I have had none direct contact with them yet.

“Ignore them.” I hear from beside me. I look at the guy who’s laptop I kept looking at seeing him smile at me. “They are always causing a fuss about something. It’s like high school all over again with those two around!” I smile politely at him and bow my head slightly. “I know we haven’t properly met yet, but I am Hyunshik.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I am Luna.” I whisper back before Myeonjin continues.

“First things first, we have the upcoming trip to LA for KCon. There are a lot of schedules for them while we are there. Not just performing, and interviews but fansigns and in person events. Luna, you will be working at every event if the guys need any help with their English.” He says, looking at me as I nod and type what he has said. I hear yet another snigger from across the table. I wonder what their problem is and why they keep laughing in my direction. “If it isn’t too much trouble for everyone to pay attention please!” he adds, looking at them

“Sorry.” Iseul says, but you could tell there was nothing genuine in her apology at all.

“We have provisional dates for the Europe tour in the new year, but we won’t be announcing them until we have confirmation from the venues. Luna, I’ll have a meeting with you closer to the time to discuss the live onstage translations.” I nod and type away on my laptop. “First, we have the US tour dates ready to be released later this week. We have completed the tour set list. The band’s rehearsals will begin as soon as the promotions are over. Stylists will have a meeting tomorrow to begin work on the outfits.”

The rest of the meeting goes without anymore interruptions. If you ignore the whispering and quiet giggles from Chaeyoung and Iseul that is! When it is finished I pack my things.

“It was nice to meet you properly.” Hyunsik says to me.

“You too!” I smile at him.

“Not everyone is like the mean twins over there.” he tilts his head towards them. “Most of us are nice! Some of us are going out for a meal tomorrow night. You are more than welcome to join us.”

“That would have been nice, but I already have plans. Sorry!” I say. San and I had already planned to watch some more of The Sound of Magic after work.

“Maybe next time! We usually go out once a month.” he replies.

“Yeah, maybe.” I nod, smiling. “Anyway, I better go. I have my first work review meeting and then I am going to the studio for the fan calls.”

“I’ll see you around.” he smiles back before picking up his laptop and leaving the conference room.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When I walk into the band’s private waiting area at the studio, they are all sitting around. I suddenly feel everything from today pile on top of me and my body feels really heavy. Yunho is the first to see me walk in and comes over.

“How were your meetings?” He asks, hugging me placing a subtle kiss on my forehead

“They were fine.” I reply, forcing a smile.

“No, they weren’t. What happened?” He leans down to look into my eyes. Yunho always seems to know when things aren’t right and quick to pick up on other peoples emotions. I was a fool to think he wouldn’t notice. The others are looking at me now as I drop my bag onto the table and sigh.

“Was it your work review meeting?” Jongho asks, standing up from his seat, and I can see the concern in his eyes. 

“No Jongho, my work review actually went amazing.” I say, looking at him. “All positive!” I rub at my wrist, feeling my anxiety creep in as all their eyes are on me now. I notice Hongjoongs eyes looking at it, so I immediately stop.

“I told you it would be fine.” He smiles at me.

“What happened in your other meetings?” Hongjoong asks 

“Nothing really happened.” I lie. I don’t want to tell them about Chaeyoung and Iseul. “Myeonjin mentioned my allergies in the main meeting, and I didn’t know he was going to do it. It just took me by surprise, is all.”

“Ah, we didn’t know either.” Seonghwa says, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“I am so sorry! We should have spoken to him properly. Let him know how you feel about it all. What did he say?” Hongjoong asks.

“Just that a ‘member of staff’ has severe allergies and seafood won’t be allowed anymore. He was trying to be discreet by not naming me, but everyone knew it was me. I am the only new member of staff and there has never been a seafood issue before me. It just made me feel awkward, was all.” I say as they look at me. “I am fine now though, honestly!” I add as Wooyoung pulls me into his arms, placing a kiss on the side of my head. I put my arms around him and sink into his embrace, burying my head into his neck. I feel at ease now I am with them again.

After a line of greetings, hugs and some kisses from the others, they go back to what they were doing before I came in, but Hongjoong stays beside me.

“Luna, could I have a quick word with you? In private?” He asks quietly. I nod and follow him into a side room that is empty. He closes the door and turns to me. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I am fine! Honestly, I am.” I answer.

“I know you don’t enjoy being fussed over and I am sure being asked if you are ok falls heavily into that category, so I apologise.” He says, locking eyes with me. “But I need to know how you are really feeling. I… I don’t want anything to happen to you or for you to feel… you know.”

And I do know. It’s crystal clear he is talking about my mental health and what I did to myself, but he is trying to be discreet about the subject.

“The bipolar and the scars, you mean.” I say as he nods slowly. “You can say the words, you know. I won’t get upset.”

“I saw you were rubbing harshly at your arm.” He says. “I can’t lie, but it sort of made me concerned.”

“It is fine. I am not just saying that. It’s a thing I do whenever I feel a bit… overwhelmed, I guess, is the term to describe it. I don’t know how to explain why I do it without sounding crazy. Which is ironic given I have the crazy condition!” I say.

“I don’t want to hear you call yourself that. You aren’t crazy!” He says, stepping forward and reaching for my hand. “Just say it how it is. I won’t judge.” I know he won’t, but I’ve never actually said these words out loud. No one has ever noticed me doing it before either and if they have, they’ve never asked about it.

“When I do that, it’s not in a way to harm myself or that I am thinking of doing it, but it is in a way of comfort. It is like in that moment things may feel bad or overwhelming, but it isn’t as bad as it could be.” I answer, praying I am making some sense to him. “Sometimes I don’t realise I am doing it.”

“So you aren’t feeling the need to.. do anything then when you rub at it?” He asks. His eyes are big and I can see the genuine concern for me in them.

“Absolutely not!” I say, holding his hands tighter. “It is like a reminder that things are ok and that I am ok. It’s crazy, I know, but…” and I struggle to find the words to finish my sentence.

“It helps keep you grounded?” He ventures. I smile at him and nod because he got it in one. “Ok, that’s good. I understand.” He sighs lightly and honestly, he looks slightly relieved, too.

“Joongie, I don’t want you to worry about me. I’ve been stable for a long time and I can’t see anything changing that anytime soon. Not when I have 8 really amazing guys taking care of me the way you all do.” I say to him. He smiles at me, his hands letting go of mine and moving to my waist, pulling me into him. “And yes, while I don’t like being fussed over. For all of you, I think I can make the exception. It comes from a good place, and it is not overbearing.” 

“Are you actually giving us permission to fuss over you?” He grins at me, his arms moving higher.

“Maybe a little.” I giggle, putting my arms around his waist. “Today was a hard day, but now that I am here with you, I feel better now.” I rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and enjoying this moment with him. “A lot better.” I sigh happily.