#userjp

"He was more than just a mentor, wasn't he?" Derek’s voice was gentle, he hated this for her. Penelope was in the middle of this case and that is not where she was supposed to be. no, Penelope Garcia was supposed to stay in her office, away from anything or anyone that could hurt her. Derek had kept a very watchful eye on Penelope during this case; searching for signs in her face, her voice, that she couldn’t take it anymore. He never left her side; Derek decided a long time ago that he never would.

This case was beyond personal for Penelope; it was where she came from. She was having to think about memories she had long since buried. Memories of how different she was, how much she embraced the cold exterior and rejected her inner warmth; it was for protection. To protect herself from being hurt yet again by getting close to people; people always left. They couldn’t leave if you didn’t let them in; that was her philosophy all those years ago.

Now? She hated it. Because even with that me vs. them mentality of hers, Penelope did let one person in; and he didn’t leave. He had made her even colder, angrier, he fed off it. Shane Wyeth treated Penelope like a plaything; he toyed with her emotions, deliberately started arguments with her so that he could win. He would do anything it took to win; that win gave him power, strength. Shane saw the pain present in Penelope, and he used it to his advantage. Eventually Penelope realized she had no more strength left for him to take; she had no desire to be the person she was on the outside any longer. She left him, Penelope Garcia left her boyfriend and never did she regret it.

Now, with the resurfacing of an old case, Penelope was thrown back into her old life; and it felt terrible. She didn’t know this woman anymore; she couldn’t bear to think like her ever again. Penelope took what she knew about her old flame, and she used it. She was going to put on the clothes, she would wear the name, “the black queen,” and Penelope was going to face her ex-boyfriend; and she was going to do it because that was the right thing to do.

No answer came from Penelope in response to Derek’s question and his stomach clenched. The fear on her face; fear of what? he didn’t know yet. All he knew, was that his babygirl was nervous and that was what mattered. Four years before, on that beautiful Alaskan morning, he made that promise to Penelope. Every day of his life, Derek Morgan would protect Penelope Garcia from everything he possibly could. He would protect her warmth, the love that flowed endlessly from her heart into everything she said and did. The beauty with which she saw the world everyday despite the things that appeared on her screens. This case was a part of that, he needed to protect her. He needed her to know that no matter what happened at the end of this case, she would be protected, and she would be loved.

Sitting in the break room of the police precinct, Derek and Penelope were talking about her planned meetup with Shane. Derek’s voice was soft, never going above an audible whisper. He couldn’t stop looking at her; she wore a beautiful purple cardigan overtop a black shirt. Her hair-God, her hair- was styled with beautiful bouncy curls that sat perfectly on top of her chest. Penelope was wearing a grey, patterned skirt that ended just above her knees and underneath was a pair of sheer black tights. Her lips. Penelope always had the perfect shade of lipstick covering her lips. And her jewelry-

“I feel I’m gonna barf...” Penelope admitted, snapping Derek out of his Penelope-induced hypnosis. Instantly, he sat down the cup he had in his hands and instinctively reached for hers, whispering soothing words and looking into her big brown eyes that told him she just wanted this to be over. She met his eyes, hanging on every word he spoke.

“I’m gonna be in the van right outside. If you get in trouble, I will be on you before you- “Derek groaned internally and remembered her request from earlier, to tone down the innuendos and teasing for the sake of this case; he couldn’t help how easily he spoke to her that way, it was his truth. Still, what mattered was what she asked, and she had asked if they could put a pause on the flirting, at least until the case was over. He stopped briefly and corrected himself, “I will be there.”

He could always do that; he could always take her anxiety in his hands and make it powerless. He did it with ease and she honestly couldn’t imagine not having him in her life. The two of them could be in the eye of a hurricane inside of a tornado on fire and he could still make her calm.

Something about this was different. Derek thought he had seen every side of Penelope Garcia and yet, she had a different air around her during this case. That fact alone told him it was because of her ex-boyfriend Shane’s involvement. He had never seen her like this, and it worried him. Something wasn’t right, he could tell. Her ex couldn’t have been a good man if she were acting this way. He remembered what she said earlier,

“Shane and I ended on terrible terms.” Derek knew Penelope Garcia like the back of his hand from the way she was acting, this guy was bad news. Derek internalized the feelings he had about this man that once called Penelope Garcia his. He felt that old familiar feeling creep up that he hadn’t felt this much since Penelope’s last boyfriend, Kevin lynch. It was no secret how much Derek Morgan despised Kevin lynch, he couldn’t hide it. The feelings Derek harbored for Kevin were rooted in annoyance, frustration, and lack of understanding. He couldn’t understand why Penelope would willingly be with that man, couldn’t she see how completely unworthy he was of her?

That had been jealousy in its purest form and this? The feeling Derek had about Shane Wyeth? It was different, it was deeper; and after Penelope poured her heart out about her relationship with the man and what it had done to her, Derek understood why this time it was different. Derek Morgan hated Kevin lynch like a fly that wouldn’t stop buzzing around, he hated Shane Wyeth like an unsub. Kevin was smart in the technical way but he lacked emotional sincerity and intelligence whereas Shane was technically and emotionally intelligent. Kevin didn’t leave the emotional scars on Penelope despite their four-year relationship because he didn’t know how. Shane, Shane knew how, and he did it on purpose; that made him much different.

Derek was pissed, he didn’t want Penelope to ever have to think about that man ever again and here she was being forced to face the man in person. All he wanted was to take Penelope in his arms and protect her from everything both possible and impossible. The tear that silently ran down her face as she told Derek about her past with Shane broke his heart, the feeling was so intense inside of him and he knew why. A long time ago, Derek had asked himself why he felt this way when it came to Penelope and only Penelope; he had figured it out on that fateful night she was almost ripped away from him by someone she had gone on a date with.

Derek didn’t get jealous when jj spoke to random men, or when Emily flirted with everyone at the bar, when he saw hotch with haley or when women flirted with Reid. He felt that flame of jealousy even when a random man looked at Penelope for too long, or when a woman was being a little too suggestive. When a friend had memorized her coffee order. He was in love with her, he had been in love with her since their first conversation.

Seeing that tear fall down her face while she kept talking about her past, he was done. He had to tell her with those exact words he knew she could not downplay like his previous love confessions. Penelope had moved next to him on the couch and their hands remained together. After she had told him how Shane manipulated and made her into something she wasn’t, he couldn’t let her face that man for the first time in years without telling her exactly how he felt about her. He had to reassure her that relationships are not supposed to be like that, she shouldn’t settle for subpar treatment from her partner for the sake of not being alone.

“good… because you’ve come a long way.” Derek told her after everything she needed to say had been let out. Penelope had tears in her eyes, and she was smiling at him, so much love in her eyes. She didn’t need words of appreciation because he knew, he took one look at her face and of course he knew how much he meant to her; it was a beautiful thing, every time they looked at each other, they silently said I love you. His voice was barely audible when he said,

“Penelope baby, look at me please…” she had looked away to rid the tears from her eyes and she instantly returned them to his face.

“I am so. Proud of you. Woman, you’ve got to be the strongest person I know. Everyday Penelope- every day I admire you more and more. No matter what you go through, your strength is incredible. You-You. are incredible, babygirl,” she overlooked the slip up of her nickname due to the fact that she was in shock. Derek Morgan, the strongest person she knew was telling her that she was the strongest person he knew. She shook her head.

“Derek… y-you are! I’m the strongest? There’s no way! I mean look at me, everything makes me cry- I can’t look at crime scene pictures I? me?” Penelope rambled off to him in response and he stood firm, continuing:

“that’s exactly right. You love. So much- you love so big, in a world that has hurt you time and time again babygirl. If that isn’t strength, then…” Derek was looking at her slightly shaking his head their eyes locked. they had somehow moved even closer on the couch. Penelope felt the emotion in Derek’s gaze, and she knew better than to disagree with him again. She blinked and more tears ran down her face; immediately, Derek brought his hands up to cup her face, wiping the tears with his thumbs.

“It’s not just strength baby, its bravery. Every time you open your heart, every time you do something for another person, show your kindness? Your light? There is every chance that the world could do it again, it could hurt you again. But you keep…” he was smiling at her now, their faces had gotten closer, and Penelope’s wide eyes stayed on his. “You keep. Doing it. You never let the world take that from you, that is strength you wouldn’t find in the biggest and baddest weightlifters on earth babygirl…” Derek moved his face closer… Penelope slowly closed her eyes, “You. Are. Incredible…” Derek told her before closing the gap completely.

Their lips met for the sweetest, most precious kiss either of them had ever experienced in their lives. Derek’s hands stayed on Penelope’s face as they kissed and slowly, they moved to settle in her hair as they angled their heads slightly to the right, deepening the kiss. Penelope felt those final tears fall as Derek kissed her with tender adoration. She had always wondered what their kiss would be like, she began to think she would never find out. She knew now that whatever she had imagined did not come close to the real thing; finally, Penelope and Derek were kissing.

Derek had dreamt about this moment for longer than he could remember; the way her lips felt on his made him chastise himself for not kissing Penelope sooner. God, he didn’t want it to end, he couldn’t bare the idea of never kissing her again after finally knowing what it felt like. She was perfect, their passion matched, and their love danced between them as the kiss deepened even more, Penelope’s hands settled on his chest. Eventually, the kiss had to break for that pesky oxygen they just had to have to live. Their foreheads rested together, and Derek looked into Penelope’s eyes when he told her, his voice hardly above a whisper,

“I love you, Penelope... I’m in love with you,” Penelope felt more tears, this time of joy and happiness and she smiled at Derek, tilting her head.

“I love you… my hero,” her voice matched his and this time Penelope closed the gap between them.