Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch âĒ No registration required âĒ HD streaming
âNever say love is âlikeâ anything... It isn't.â --Michael Chabon, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
***
The fruit trees grow far faster than they should, and thatâs what gives Cas away.
Perhaps if Cas had kept growing just flowers and vegetables, had distracted Dean with a continuous stream of strawberries and blackberries, had avoided all discussion of his garden, saying it was something private, then Dean never would have noticed, but thatâs not what happened.Â
Smaller varieties of apple trees can grow to between six and twenty feet tall, and as Cas bought these trees from the very friendly people at the garden supply store (they now know him by name and he has a loyalty card) in Salina as saplings about a month ago, it should take them three years to reach anything close to those heights.Â
Instead, Dean is currently eye-level with the tops of the trees, and he turns to Cas.
âWhat have you been doing to these?â Dean asks.
Cas could lie, could say he found a spell in the thousands of books in the bunker, and then Sam could probably help him make up said spell to back him up, but Cas doesnât want to lie to Dean, so he doesnât.
He raises his hand to show Dean, and thatâs all the indication Dean needs. âCas, really? What if it runs out?â
Cas bends down to the base of one of the trees, laying his hands on the dirt covering the roots, and lets some of his grace suffuse through the earth. âItâs about to.â
â...And youâre-youâre okay with that?â Dean doesnât sound angry, just questioning.Â
âYes.â Cas moves onto the next tree--there are six total. âI donât have another use for it.â
Itâs true--they hardly ever go on hunts anymore these days, instead doing things here, at the bunker, and in other places. When Dean goes on a drive with Cas riding shotgun, itâs not to search out the latest big bad or argue about yet another near-death experience, itâs to go to the grocery store or to see the sunset.
Itâs nice.
Dean doesnât respond for a long moment, and Cas pauses to glance at him, expecting to see confusion at how Cas could do this after his grace was once painfully ripped from him, and Cas is going to tell him how this is a choice, and in choosing he knows that there will be difficulties, that he will never quite be human, that he will always be cold, that he will grow to hate doing laundry and having to brush his teeth, but he is deciding for himself nonetheless, but he stops in his tracks because thereâs no confusion, just a small, warm smile.Â
âAlrighty then,â Dean says, and he crosses through the trees, stooping down so that the steadily-growing branches donât whack him in the face, and then he presses a kiss to Casâs forehead. âTell me when weâve got apples. I want to make a pie.â
A/N: This is written for @sikennatural âs follower celebration! (prompts used: âKeep itâ, moonrise)
Read on ao3
The moon reflects shallowly from the puddle at Deanâs feet. Cas is warm and solid next to him, shoulder to shoulder as they lean against the side of the impala. Dean canât look at him. That makes it real. But his mind screams for him to look and see, to etch Casâ image into his mind one more time; for what could be the last time.Â
âAre you sure I canât go with you?â Dean asks, his voice catching in his throat. The air is thick in his lungs, heavy with humidity, drowning him. Cas shifts his weight, pressing into his side.Â
âThereâs no point in us both getting killed, Dean. They will know if I bring you with me.â His voice is low and measured, careful.
âWe could just leave now. You don't even need to see them. You know itâs a trap.â Deanâs blood boils under his skin. Whoever decided angels were fair and kind and loving could not have been more wrong. Instead, they start wars and set traps for their brother so they can send him to a fate worse than hell for the rest of eternity.
Dean will never forgive himself if Cas doesnât come back. How could he? Heâs the one who drew the angels to earth in the first place with his trip to Hell. So no, Dean doesnât buy into that âfear notâ bullshit.
Casâ eyes soften.
They couldnât have been more wrong about every angel but one.Â
âWe have no other option, you know that. It may have impossible odds, but Iâve seen you get through so much worse.â Cas draws a shaky breath. âPlease look at me, Dean. If this is goodbyeâĶâ  Â
Dean wants to take him by the shoulders and shake him and scream at him to see straight. He wants to take a swing at him for being so self-sacrificing and blind to what Dean feels. He wants to bury his face in the lapels or his trenchcoat and cling to him for dare life, begging him to stay.
Instead, he snaps, âShut up. This isnât goodbye okay? Iâm not fucking saying goodbye to you because I will meet you here again in forty-eight hours okay?â Dean lifts his eyes and theyâre immediately drawn to Casâ. Theyâre soft and sad and he wants nothing more than to cup his face and smooth his frown with his lips. This canât be goodbye, because if it is, Cas would di- Cas would leave without ever knowing.Â
âDean-â
Dean snatches the beaded bracelet from his wrist.Â
âHere, youâre going to look after this okay?â Dean slips it over Casâ hand. âSo you better haul your ass back here and give it back to me later because- because,â he takes a shuddering breath, his voice thick, hot pressure bluntly building behind his eyes, âbecause if you donât Iâm going to be fucking pissed okay.â He doesnât realise how tightly heâs holding Casâ wrist until Casâ hand gently covers his own.
âOf course, Dean,â he says quietly.Â
âPromise me, Cas. Promise me you will bring it back.â Promise me youâll come back.Â
Tears burn their way down his cheeks but no one mentions it. Dean pulls him into a hug and Cas squeezes him like his life depends on it, and he canât help but think that maybe right now, it does.Â
âI promise,â Cas says, almost inaudible.Â
Just this once Dean allows himself to drop his head to Casâ shoulder and breathe deeply. If this is the last time he will ever feel at home, he wants to be able to remember it in its entirety.Â
All too soon Cas is pulling away. Deanâs left cold without him there.
âThank you, Dean. Itâs been an honour knowing you. Itâs an honour.â Casâ voice breaks, but before Dean can reply, heâs gone with the rustle of wings. Dean reaches into the empty space where he was just moments ago.Â
Gone.Â
Dean is three feet from his body when he opens the impala door and sinks into the leather seat. He is heavy, like his entire body has been stuffed with lead.Â
His hands shake.Â
In the space next to him lies a worn cassette tape. âDean's top 13 Zepp TRA XXâ.
He screams.
* * *Â
The fifty-third hour scrapes past, ticking over on his phone. The screen dies as the battery loses the last of its power. It slips from his hand, landing on the car floor with a dull thud.
âCas, please,â Dean repeats for what feels like the thousandth time, his throat rough, voice raw from praying for hours, âcome home, please come home. I canât do this without you, man. I love you, and I never got to tell you that. I love you, I love you, I have always loved you and you left before I could fucking tell you.â The words are all too familiar to his ears, like a broken record skipping back to the same track over and over. He was too much of a coward to speak his truth, and now it might never see the light of day. âCome back to me you fucking asshole, I love you!â he yells into the deafening silence of his car. He slams his hands down on the steering wheel, a fresh wave of anger washing over him. Dean tumbles out of the impala, his head pounding.
âFuck! You selfish asshole I never got to tell you!â he screams at the dark sky. There are no stars. âYou fucking promised youâd come back! You promised, you promised, you promised me!â His whole body shakes with dry sobs, his tears long since run out. âCome back to me you asshole I love you,â he chokes out. The wet ground is no softer when his knees crash into it.
âDean?â A voice so weak he almost misses it.Â
Cas.
His head snaps up to see him leaning heavily on a tree in the treeline of the forest. Cas.
Before he knows what he is doing, Deanâs colliding with him, Cas letting out a muffled pained noise but clinging to him nonetheless.
âYouâre back, you came back.â Dean didnât dare draw away. Cas slowly became heavier in his arms as he relaxed.
âI had a promise to keep.â Thereâs a small smile in his voice. âSorry Iâm late, my ârideâ got a little damaged,â Cas let out a wet laugh, but Dean could still hear the air quotes in his words. Â
It was only now Dean noticed the crusting on the back of his trenchcoat. His stomach drops.
âOh, Cas...â He leads him back to the impala, taking most of his weight. They donât stop touching when Cas eases himself into the passenger seat. Cas pulls something from his pocket.Â
âIâm sorry, it got broken,â Cas says, as sincere as ever, as he opens his palm to show a piece of elastic and a handful of beads. A laugh bursts through Deanâs lips.
âCas, I donât care abt the bracelet, I-â
âI love you too,â Cas finishes. Both of Deanâs hands cover Casâ, still holding the beads, kneeling in front of him. Casâ free hand trails along the edge of Deanâs jaw, and heâs swept up into a kiss.Â
âI love you I love you I love you,â Dean says against his lips, punctuated by kisses as Cas breathes in his confession. Both their lips are chapped and dry, and itâs tinted with the metallic taste of Casâ blood, but it is warm and itâs Cas, and for that, Dean couldnât have wished for anything more. Reluctantly, Dean pulls back and carefully takes the beads, slipping them into the pocket of his jeans.
âIâll rethread them and you can keep it. As long as you promise to keep coming back to me, itâs all yours.â
âAlways, Dean. I will always come back to you.â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch âĒ No registration required âĒ HD streaming