#userashavgreyjoy

if you’re ever mean to me i’ll seduce your dad and get him to marry me then i’ll be your fucking stepmom and i’ll disable the internet every night at 7pm don’t fucking try me

tumblr awards prize for lizzie @theonbaejoys​

It had been easy to get Jaime Lannister to fall in love with her.

After all, years of playing the game had taught her how to pull the strings, and if there was something Sansa knew how to do, it was getting people to do as she wanted.

Jaime had never had a problem with her age; if anything, Sansa had noticed, the difference between them aroused him. She played up her innocence sometimes, though she had little to none left of it. He was good, there was no denying that. A good driver, a good cook, a good lay, and eventually, a good husband.

What had started as revenge for the scars left on her body by Joffrey had become her life quickly enough.

It wasn’t like Joffrey could move out, after all. He didn’t know how to do anything. All of his funds came out of his allowance. He was a clueless, petulant twenty year old, and, at his same age, Sansa had become his step-mom.

Jaime had had trouble with it at first, until Sansa had assured him everything would be alright and they could all be adults about this. There was no fighting love, after all. They were meant to be. Joffrey would understand, just as Myrcella and Tommen did.

It was the little things that gave her pleasure, in the end.

“Joff, sweetheart, make sure to be home before midnight tonight because I’ll be turning on the alarm and you won’t be able to get in otherwise.”

He had ended up staying at a friend’s place -- or, more likely, coerced somebody into letting him crash, because Joffrey didn’t have friends. He had people who were scared of him, that much Sansa knew. But it was a matter of time; he couldn’t sleep outside the house every time he wanted to go out.

Or perhaps when she’d suggested to Jaime, “I really think it’ll do everybody a lot of good if we turn off the internet at 7 every night, don’t you agree, dear?”

He had called it a wonderful idea, decided it would be family tradition from now on, and Sansa had watched with a hint of a smirk playing at the corner of her lips as Joffrey protested in vain, threw a tantrum, slammed his bedroom door. But at the end of the day, seven o’clock had come and she had padded over to the living area and disconnected the router.

Say goodbye to your sick late-night porn, fucker.

And let’s not forget her crowning achievement so far: “Sansa is doing so much for all of us, Joffrey, the least you can do is run some errands for her.”

“I’m not her fucking call boy, dad!” he had screamed in protest, kicking a chair over angrily.

Sansa had gasped in outrage, holding her hand to her chest and jumping at the display of violence.

Oh, how Jaime adored protecting her.

“If you ever so much as slam a door ever again, I’m going to make certain you live to regret it,” he’d threatened through gritted teeth, holding Joffrey by the elbow. “Am I understood?”

She’d been hoping for him to slam the door anyway; he had always been so spoiled. She’d been denied the pleasure of Jaime’s wrath, however, when Joffrey had left the house instead.

“I do worry about him,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around her husband’s waist and tucking her face into his broad chest. “But I really believe he’ll grow out of this behaviour.”

Jaime kissed the top of her head. “Thank you for caring so much about our family, Sansa. I don’t know how I would do this without you.”

Joffrey came home later that day, tossing the groceries onto a table while Sansa watched from the upstairs balcony, her hands on the railings. He looked up at her and they held each other’s gaze for a moment, until she smiled, an empty smile, one full of victory. “Good night, Joffrey,” she said to him, sweetly. “Your dad and I will want to talk to you tomorrow.”

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name: Sara nicknames: i don’t have one zodiac sign: gemini height: 170 cm orientation: bi nationality: portuguese favourite fruit: banana favourite season: summer (probably because that’s when i’m home from uni and get to rest and do absolutely nothing lol) favourite book: the book thief (that’s the last book i’ve read and i loved it so much) favourite scent: i don’t think i have one tbh favourite colour: blue favourite animal: sloths (because i too am lazy and sleepy all the time) coffee | tea | hot cocoa: coffee  average hours of sleep: 7 or 8 cat or dog person: dog person favourite fictional characters: arya stark, sansa stark, jon snow, daenerys targaryen, clarke griffin, raven reyes, rey, finn, poe dameron (and the list goes on and on lol) number of blankets you sleep with: usually one dream trip: i’d really like to go to Amsterdam blog created: 2015 i think? I only started using it more this year though number of followers: 498 random fact: i went out last night and i’ve come to the conclusion i should stay away from tequila forever lmao