i don't fucking know how to deal w my housemate anymore. i used to consider him my best friend but that changed when i discovered he stopped wearing masks months before w/o even telling me. then he infected both of us shortly after. he doesn't feel responsible and doesn't care at all and won't change and we both considered living seperately in the future and that's terrifying to me bc i can't fucking live independently.
he's open for me sending him academic articles to try to change his mind and convince him chances of getting LC are large + that one-way masking still works.
at the same time he asked 'you don't think we are at that point already?' when i said i don't want the scenario that we don't live together in a year anymore to become true.
i feel like crying. i don't feel safe at home and my job requires me to go to the office half the time so i can't live together w an understanding but vulnerable person either. i can't find a therapist to talk to ab this bc they don't fucking care ab the pandemic either. i can't go to my anti-mask doctor either and ask for help w my physical issues like nausea and concentration issues bc they keep dismissing it or prescribing meds that don't work for my body.
and i don't like this job and find it v hard to do and sure i'd rather do what i love but illustration and just the art world and being freelancer w no secure job seems really hard as well. it's just like my brain is incapable of focusing on anything that's not a special interest, to the degree it keeps getting me in trouble with jobs.
this is so isolating man. fuck the netherlands and fuck dutch leftists man i hate this ableist apathetic shithole
