𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙟𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝

The implications of the super serum on his on his own lifespan doesn’t immediately occur to Steve.  Partially because he doesn’t think about it and partially because he doesn’t really understand the technology behind what was done to his body.  Had Bucky stayed around or even been there during the experiments, it’s possible his friend would’ve been able to explain.

It also doesn’t occur to Steve to ask before hand.  What’s important is the end result.  Nothing else.  Being stronger to help people; to fight and do his civic duty just like everyone else has the opportunity to.

He knows what he feels; that he’s hungrier, warmer, faster, stronger.  Stuff like that.  Even after he wakes up from the ice the mechanics of how aren’t on his mind.  He survived and now he has to deal with it.  Again.  None of that really means he understands the full capacity of his new body.  When advertised, he was supposed to be the wave of the future.  The new soldier.  Back during WWII that was a death sentence for a lot of people since the return rate was abysmal.

Being in a relationship suddenly means he has to think about what it is to be a super soldier with this serum infusing every cell in his body.  Along with everything else, that means he doesn’t age like a normal person.  Seeing Peggy on her death bed is an incredible wake up call.  If he lets himself fall in love there is a very good possibility that he’ll outlive them.  That is, unless he dies in battle.  At this point, his durability makes that a toss up because Steve is also a self-sacrificing fool.  Then again, he’s been the survivor and he hated how that felt.  It’s a guilt he still fights against.

         FIGHTING TECHNIQUE . pt 2 WWII

A very young and very sick Steve dabbled in boxing because he wanted a way to defend himself when bigger people tried knocking him down.  It was something his father did ( so his mother said ).  Therefore, it was something he was determined to master.  Didn’t matter what his body was capable of.  Steve was going to do it.  It came in handy.  The older he got and the more wrong he saw out in the street, the more a little Steve put his fists up, ready to fight whoever came his way.

This was refined after the serum when his body was more durable and his cognitive abilities had been sped up.  Most of this was done in the field with the Howling Commandos.

After Erskine’s death and Steve was handed over to the Department of Treasury to sell warbonds, he practiced gymnastics with the dancing girls.  There wasn’t really a necessity for it beyond his grieving.  Social interaction was still awkward and hard for him but it was a way to keep moving.  Plus, the more he did with the rest of the stage crew the more comfortable he became with the part of ‘ Captain America. ‘

          PTSD pt 1

Steve has PTSD.  Initially, it manifested as survivor’s guilt from Bucky’s ‘ death ‘ on the train.  Steve did, and still does, feel an incredible amount of guilt over that incident.  Not only does he feel responsible but the event constantly replays over in his head to analyze a number of variables to see where he went from.  He feels as if he should’ve died instead.  The super serum made him the ‘ perfect ‘ soldier for war.  It enhanced his analytical skills along with the rest of his cognitive function.  But the success of their initial skirmishes on the train made Steve reckless in a way that he’s never allowed himself since.

This compounded after Steve crashed into the ice.  He suffocated to what he thought was death.  All he could see was a faint glow of a world left behind.  Broken.  Bleeding.  In those last moments all he could think about was his failure as Captain America, soldier, protector, and as a best friend.  All he’d wanted was to go out into the battlefield and protect Bucky just like Bucky had always protected him.  But, he couldn’t even do that much right.  One slip up and James Barnes was gone, disappearing into the thick snow hundreds of feet beneath a bridge.

There were also thoughts of Peggy and how badly he messed that up, too.  Steve thought of Howard Stark and how he would’ve been able to fly that plane with better precision.  Maybe even survive.  Steve apologized to Erskine for letting the man die in vain.  While the experiment had worked better than anyone could’ve thought, it was the little punk from Brooklyn who failed.  So much guilt.  Steve felt so alone in those final moments.

Since waking up he’s been plagued by nightmares.  He goes through dissociative episodes whenever coming back from a mission. They strike at other times but fighting is a pretty strong trigger. Insomnia is also extremely commonplace.  More often than not he can concentrate on fighting, analyze what’s happening, and make sure his team members survive.  Those are things he was conditioned to do and things the serum was specifically designed for.  But, once the suit comes off and he’s alone with his thoughts the floodgates open.  Everything comes rushing back.

I don’t remember if I started mentioning this or if I’ve talked about this so much OOC that it felt like I wrote an actual post about it but here it goes.

Watching Age of Ultron, there’s the scene with Steve and Maria talking about the twins.  It’s pretty apparent that even then Steve is feeling protective over them.  He’s never looked at them as if they were villains.  He never judged the twins for what happened with Ultron or even Hydra.

He mentions, specifically, before walking into that elevator that they underwent experiments in order to protect their country.  He knows what that feels like because Steve did the exact same thing.

Right from the get go, Steve saw kindred spirits.  Strength.  Determination.  Passion.  A need to protect innocent lives.  The twins go into the experiment thinking they were doing the right thing.  It’s no fault of theirs that the experiment itself turns out to be nothing like they expected nor is it their fault that they were manipulated or lied to.

In canon, Steve is said to have an eidetic memory.  Part of the super serum’s effects was increasing his cognitive abilities to what is considered peak and near perfect.  What that means ( at least to me on this blog ) is that he is able to quickly analyze anything he’s presented with.  This is easier to do in more comfortable settings such as the battlefield or anything related to fighting or strategy.  He can take a situation and change plans in the heat of the moment.  He can, effectively, adapt in the blink of an eye.

Steve has an easier time with technology, places, directions, things like that.  Informational things.  He picked up phones, computers, cameras, little gadgets, etc, almost instantly.  Where he runs into more trouble is with social adaptation such as newer terminology, social norm, jargon, memes.  He’s fairly introverted.  There’s about seventy years of stuff to catch up on and informal language tends to be extremely fluid.  Think about the slang you use now compared to the slang you used a few years ago.  These are things Steve would try to read up on, only to find out that the information is basically outdated already.

It’s more comfortable to hold social things close to his heart.  Habits are hard to break.  Some of them are firmly built on things his mother taught him and he’d never dream going against those.

So, in a lot of ways, Steve does miss the old days.  Being able to see the future makes him think of Bucky.  In a weird way it makes him feel even more guilty.  Not only is he still alive but he’s alive to see all these wonderful things that his best friend used to dream about.  But, back then Steve at least knew the social rules ( even if he chose to ignore some of the ).  He knew what was expected of him.

& religion Growing up, he’d been taught about the Catholic faith as his mother was a devout believer.  He believed.  Still believes.  But, there’s always been questions about the “why” of the world.  She chose to wear both the cross and a medallion of Saint Patrick.  The cross was an heirloom passed down from her own mother while the pendant belonged to Joseph.  Even before his passing she wore it as protection.

When Steve was four he received the St. Patrick’s medallion to wear.  Sarah, in turn, started wearing the image of St. Bridgid.  As tempting as it was to keep when his mother passed, he decided to leave the necklace with her body.  Partly because he wasn’t sure what he’d do with it and partly because it felt wrong taking such an important thing from her.

He did, however, keep the cross.  Wearing it never sat right with him so it sat on his nightstand, right in front of the only photographic picture he had of his mother.

Steve’s faith started to shake once he lost his mother and was rattled even further with Bucky’s “death.”  Even though he took the loss of the latter into himself based on his own shortcomings, it also reminded him of his youth.  All the loss.  All that isolation.  For what purpose?  He also couldn’t help but look at the battlefield and wonder how any higher being could let something like that happen.  

After the events of the first Avengers movie, Steve stopped wearing idolatry altogether.  It helped that the cross was no longer in his possession.  In fact, none of his material items were even his anymore.  St. Patrick had been around his neck when he crashed into the Arctic and while feeling it there helped the soldier feel less alone the alien invasion had done something to the very foundation of everything he believed in.  That’s not to say he pushed off his faith completely, but in his heart it didn’t make sense.

The actual calculated lifespan of Steve Rogers is improbable.  What is known is that the super serum effectively gave him what is considered to be the “perfect” cell.  No degradation by time.  He isn’t affected by things like disease or intoxication and he shows no physical signs of aging.  There are a number of things he’s been able to heal through that would’ve killed or permanently disfigured others.

Not knowing the full capabilities of his own body is both terrifying and freeing.  Even if Steve did know what the serum was truly capable of it wouldn’t stop the way he behaves.  He’d still dive headfirst into danger and he’d still use his own body as a living shield for those he’s trying to protect.  Living to the full potential of his lifespan isn’t a concern, so even if he knew what that potentially was Steve figures he’s not making it there anyway.  

Dying isn’t a deterrent for any of his actions.

     equipment maintenance

          steve knows how to sew.

          he learned from his mother when he was young.  considering how expensive his medical bills were, even with his mother being a nurse, it wasn’t practical to purchase new articles of clothing when something got ripped or torn.  so, he learned how to mend everything himself.  when she passed it helped extend his meager pay because, again, he didn’t have to worry about the clothes on his back no matter how many times he got into a fight.

          the skill came in handy after being accepted into the military.  then even handier once he started working for the department of treasury to sell war bonds.  steve was able to maintain the captain america outfit and even help some of the dancers if it was necessary.  in fact, he continued to fix his own damaged clothes until howard stark weaved special protective kevlar-like fibers into his suit during the war.

on his use of profanity 

        Steve has always moved to the beat of a different drum.  His own drum.  He’s guided by what he believes is right and a lot of his moral compass stems from his mother, whether she intended it or not.

         His father was an abusive alcoholic.  Steve watched as his mother stood up to that day in and day out.  She would calmly and patiently tell her husband to get out and think about things.  Then she’d turn around to tell her son how, no matter what happens in life, you have to keep getting back up.  Because of Joseph’s later tendencies, Steve was always told to watch his language.  Even after his mother’s passing he took it to heart that he needed to watch his language.  While other kids and even Bucky spewed profanity like there was no tomorrow Steve refused to give in no matter  how well he felt certain words encompassed what he really wanted to say.

“Find me.”

“The locals put up a fight, but so did we.”

“He’s dead.”

“This is not the first time a [Brother] in your company has fallen into misfortune, is it?”

“I fear you lied then. Just as you lie now.”

“Don’t kill me and I can lead you to it.”

“I can help you.”

“My injury was my own doing, not theirs.”

“Such a display of loyalty, don’t see that much anymore.”

“They died running.”

“[The Brotherhood] has lost its way.”

“And yet power is taken, not given. A lesson you seemed to have learned.”

“Your entire life you’ve been looking for a home. Build one with me.”

“Well, thank you for the ride.”

“Join us. It’s my turn to host, isn’t it?”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this moment. You wouldn’t believe the things that went through my head.”

“Guess I was gonna, walk in here and blow everyone up.”

“But, it’s not really how I was raised.”

“Now, please, give me them back.”

“Time is the apex predator.”

“You’ll never find out. Uhp. [Pronoun]’s gunna find out.”

“How can you guarantee results?” 

“By dropping the bombs ourselves.”

“But this is our chance to make war obsolete.”  

“We have conflict, and we have war. And war, well, war never changes.”

“He never told you where he’s really from, when he’s from.”

“Wait, [name], they’re sending you?”

“Punishment for what I did to myself.”

“I had no idea they’d blame you for it… I’m sorry.”

“And he burned that city to the ground.”

“I think you know.”

“[Name], they’re lying to you.”

“You can’t go home, [name]. Not with what you’ve learned.”

“So you’re just - you’re just gonna keep me here?”

“I did what was necessary to save our people.”

“You’ve seen what it’s like here. Everyone equally afraid, equally miserable. Forced to do horrible things to survive. I had to make a choice.”

“I believe, I know I made the right choice.”

“If the problem with the world is factions endlessly fighting, endlessly at war, then what is the solution but to get rid of the factions? To make the world us, ours to shape?”

“I’ll bet that outfit makes y’all feel like a big man, don’t it?”

“I wonder if they fixed that in this new model? I guess not.”

“Did you get them?”

“I can’t see shit.”

“Find that fucking [ghoul].” “Open the door, [name], open the door and let’s go home.”

“You see what this place does to people?”

“You came all this way for me.”

“You’re not gonna hurt me.”

“Now, I’ve waited over [200] years to ask somebody one question.”

“War never changes.”

“You look out at this wasteland, looks like chaos. But, there’s always somebody behind the wheel, and that’s who I want to talk to.”

“Well, it’s easier to track a stuck pig than to ask where it’s off to.”

“You wanna know how I know [person], don’t you?”

“Let’s just say that everything about your whole little world was decided [over 200] years ago.”

“Now, you can stay here with him... Or you can come meet your makers.”

“You comin?”

“Hey, get up…”

“I’ll find you.”

“Okey-dokey.”

“We did it, [name].”

“What do you suppose your [Brotherhood] would do with infinite power?”

FILE :// ENDGAME CANON DIVERGENCE

         for the sake of rp, steve doesn’t go back in time to be with peggy.  after depositing the infinity stones back in their proper places he comes back to the present like he’s supposed to.  how he interacts with other muses will purely depend on plot.  like the thing with peggy, i don’t want to force someone else’s muse to do something or act in a way that the mun might feel is ooc.  so, this part has nothing to do with how i may feel on the whole steggy ending and everything with trying to be as functional as possible.

         his forearm was broken in the ( er, second? ) battle with thanos.  did you see the way his shield shattered?  his body took a toll from that.  steve is durable but he can still be broken.  we saw that in winter soldier.  we see it constantly in the comics.

         since he doesn’t live a second life and can’t bring his shield back from the past, the one that gets destroyed in the battle is remade.  who exactly does it can be open to plot since there are at least several ways this can be done.  as a generic answer, SHIELD has a replacement or two available.  just in case.