-> Battat joins his pippin friends at the casino for a game of Uno. While he's not very excited about it, believing that they only invited him to get a kick out of bullying him, to everyone else watching it's very obvious.... they want that cookie so effin bad.
-> Event introduction
-> Part 1
-> Part 2
-> Part 3
-> Part 4
-> Part 5
-> Part 6
-> Part 7
-> Part 8
-> Part 9
-> Part 10
-> Event outroduction
-> Poll: Who's your favorite Fumbler?
-> Poll results (Coming Soon)
Bonus Content:
-> Fumbler Anthology / Part 1
-> Fumbler Anthology / Part 2
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[It worked out better than expected! Thank you all for participating, and sorry to those whose asks didn't appear properly... I hope next time I'll manage this better!]
[Have you missed Pluey and Jongler? Me too. We will be going back to regularly scheduled content, but Battat's friends will not be forgotten!! Please look forward to their occasional appearances in future asks and events!]
[Did you like the event? Do you think i can improve future events in some way? Please send your suggestions to my ask box or comment them below :3]
[Ahh, End of the event! We had fun didn't we? I know I had lots and lots of fun! And yet, it feels nice that it's over. Like a fun summer with friends ending before school starts (I've always loved school). And you guys, obviously, are my friends in that metaphor!]
[We will be going back to regularly scheduled content after this one, folks. But, let's not get too hasty. We still have this last post to read! o(〃＾▽＾〃)o]
[Don't forget to vote on your favorite Fumbler :3]
(Payoff walks with his hands behind his head. He looks at Battat who's walking next to him. He looks up and away from him, trying to appear nonchalant) So, Tato, impressed by the win?
Yeah, that was impressive.
(Payoff's face turns red at the compliment and he puts his arms down. He asked but he wasn't ready for the response.) Thanks!!??? (He puts them in his pocket and looks even further away to the side to make sure Battat can't see his face.) And, uhm, how about my skills? Aside from the win, I-I played well... right?
Why are you fishing for compliments like that? Your whole name revolves around how easy it is for you to get points while playing.
Can a guy not like being praised for having a well-trained talent?
I guess he can. Your shenanigans with Hit were funny, too.
(Payoff's smile turned silly.) Right? (He turned his head slightly to look at Battat)
I think it was cool that Pass let us get those drinks for free, too.
("Pass??? Why is PASS getting praise????? THAT GUY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE BALLS TO HANG OUT WITH US AND BATTAT??????") ...Yeah, totally.
I'm sensing sarcasm.
(Payoff fully turned his head towards him, now that his blush was mostly gone.) What? Noooo... Well, okay maybe a little...
Are you jealous or something?
There's no way! I just don't like the guy. That's all!
(Battat doesn't seem to buy that.) You know, I've been thinking about what my audience said. That you guys like hanging out with me and stuff.
Yes??
Do you, really?
Of course! We all love spending time with you! I would say that I do the most but... I'm not sure that the others love you any less than I do...LOVE IN A PLATONIC WAY! I MEAN, NO, ROM- NO! WAIT. PRETEND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!
Sure. It's not like I even understood what you just mumbled about before screaming.
(They walk in silence for a while)
Soooo....... Any new developments with those Mike theories?
Oh, yes, actually!
Care to share?
...Are you really interested?
O-of course! When have I not been?
I guess you do always listen. Alright, so. Last time I told you about it, I was stuck on that thoughtform theory, right? Cause I was having a hard time understanding the concept. But then I asked Pluey, and he happened to know what this was, cause he studied that subject in the past, which I honestly should have expected.
(Payoff does his best to listen and not just hear, and to do so, he turns his head to look at Battat's face as he speaks)
And basically, it's when you believe so hard that something exists that it starts existing. Which makes me feel stupid now, cause in hindsight it's such a simple concept, I'm not even sure what was so hard to understand anymore.
That doesn't make you stupid... (He looks away) sometimes even smart people have trouble understanding things...
(Battat glances in his direction before looking at the ground) You think I'm smart?
Yeah, um...! (Payoff tries really hard to not lose his cool) Y-You were probably... overthinking it, somehow?! (He realises he cut Battat off, and scrambles to get him talking again) Don't worry about that! You can keep going!!
I guess you're right. I was probably just overthinking it... Well, to be honest? I think that's my favorite theory so far. It just explains everything! (Battat keeps talking, and talking, and talking. He's on a roll, and there is no stopping him at this point...)
(...not that Payoff minds. He starts looking at Battat again, slowly stopping to pay attention to the words, only listening to his voice. His eyes focus on his mouth. He thinks back to his kiss card during the game, wondering how it would have been if he didn't get tricked)
-yoff? Payoff?
(He's suddenly brought back down to earth) Huh?? What????
You were staring. Are you listening to what I'm saying?
I, uhm.. I was... listening to your voice... I'm sorry it, uh, distracted me from the words...
(Battat isn't quite sure how to take that) That's good. I think?
I'm sorry!
No it's fine. Those theories aren't interesting to everyone...
This isn't what it's about! (He waves his hands) I am interested, I just... I'm tired, I guess?
Oh. Yeah, I get that, sometimes I also get distracted when I'm too tired. Usually coffee helps though. At least you were listening to my voice.
(Payoff feels the need to fill the void) I really like the sound of it! It's very relaxing!
You seem tense, are you okay?
(He puts a hand on his heart, trying to calm it) Never been better!!!
("That guy is not okay.")
("I am not okay!")
("Maybe I should get him to sit down, he looks like he could pass out any moment..")
Battat...?
Yes?
... Do you think I could... uhm...get a....uh...do...do you....could I.... a uh... a ki...i could...can i want...uh...uhm...
Take your time.
...(He takes a deep breath) Do you think... that since I won... I could get a celebratory... uhm... Kiss on the cheek...?
(Battat looks at him, then stops walking)
(Payoff stops a few steps further, not daring to turn around to look at Battat "He's gonna kill me.")
Is that a joke?
...No.
You're not gonna start laughing and call me stupid for thinking anyone would want me to kiss them?
Of course not!!
(Battat thinks about it. On one side, it's hard to trust anyone with this kind of thing. On the other side... he can't just live scared of rejection forever. He decides to give trust a try.) ...Alright, turn around.
(Payoff turns around, somehow managing to not be as red in the face as you'd think.)
(Battat stands on his toes, leans forward and kisses his cheek)
(Payoff immediately loses all composure and turns beet red.) Wow... Woah! W-woah- (His head starts revolving and his knees momentarily get so weak he falls on his ass)
Payoff?? Are you alright????
(His head stops spinning, landing on a 6.) Y-yes! Never been better!!! W-woah......
(Seeing that Payoff isn't laughing at him or calling him stupid for falling for a prank, Battat smiles)
(Battat's smile deals the coup de grâce, making Payoff faint)
PAYOFF????
Are you sure you're alright?
Y-yeah! Totally fine! (Payoff is sitting on the floor, back against a wall, still holding his head to stop it from spinning)
(Battat is kneeling beside him, holding a cup of water that he tried to offer to Payoff earlier, but he'd refused.) You looked really red back there.
Yeah, haha... I...
(Battat looks away, appearing nonchalant) How much do you like me?
How much...? Ah...uhm.......i-it's...a lot... the uhm.. the others too..
(Battat thinks a little) I see. (He puts the glass of water down on the ground next to Payoff) I'm going to go the rest of the way home alone. I need to think about a theory I have.
A-alright!!!
See you around. (He gets up and walks off)
....wow...(Payoff watches him leave, then puts both hands on his chest, feeling his heart pounding as if he'd just run a marathon) please calm down...oh god...
Gives everyone a +4 wildcard with “talk about your worst breakup or draw 4” written on it.
Playing Uno... For real this time!
[Before we start, I'm very sorry to some of you, your cards didn't make it into the game. I did my best, trust me, but i can't do anything about the fact they just didn't come up or didn't have the time/chance to be played. With that said, I hope you still enjoy this game! o(*￣▽￣*)ブ all asks are at the bottom!]
(BB counts the cards, he seems a little worried, seeing as the deck is now considerably smaller. He glances at Battat for a second, wondering if he'll be angry that there are so many missing cards. Despite that, he shuffles the deck, then distributes 4 cards to everyone, hoping to balance out the face that there are less of them)
(Hit looks at his cards first, and clearly doesn't like what he's seeing. He sneakily slides a card out of his sleeve...) BB, you gave me 6 cards. Can i get a new hand?
(BB looks at Hit and furrows his eyebrows. "He's cheating. But I don't know how. Wasn't paying attention." He picks up the topmost 5 cards of the draw pile and slides them towards Hit, taking the 6 cards back)
(Hit smiles at him innocently) Thank you, Chalk!
("He's so cheating.")
5 cards? You're making this too easy! (Payoff looks at his hand and nearly dies inside, but his face remains unchangedly cocky "BREAKUP CARD???")
("Breakup card?")
("Breakup card...")
("Breakup card?!")
("Breakup card.")
("...")
("and those other cards.... Kiss or draw 4........" Payoff makes a conscious effort to not look towards Battat "Is it gonna look weird if i play it turn 1...? I should probably wait a little...")
(The tape rolls to a halt and an unwelcome guest peeks in, before fully walking on screen)
I spyeth with mine own two eyese... A gameth these pippinsese will be playinge seriously! But... their audience doth not knoweth the rulese?! That cannote be! Here areth the rulese:
- Thou cannote passeth a turn if thou hath playable cards, even speciale cards
- Unless... It is a wilde card. Those can be heldeth, unless it is thine laste card
- If thou hath cards with the same numberse, those can be stackedth
- If thou aquires over 15 cards, thou art out of the game
- If thou draw one, twoe, or foure cards, thou can still playeth, but thou don't have to draweth another card if thou can't
- Thou cannote play if thou had to draweth 5 or more cards
- And finallye, if someone counter unos thou, thou draweth 4 cards.
There we goe! I hopeth this helps at least a little if thou areth not usede to those rulese. Oh and, can thou telleth that "House" pippin about this? I have been tryinge to get him to-
(The image starts moving away and Rouxls is swept away with the rolling tape)
(Wildcard smiles to himself, content with his hand)
(Longshot sighs and scratches the back of his head) Man......what a hand...
(Hit doesn't seem too content, but he has no more cards up his sleeve to change hands)
(BB blushes slightly, glancing between his cards and Battat. "Kiss the person to your left or draw 8...Can I really play that...? I'll...think about it...")
(Battat taps the table with a finger while holding his cards with his other hand. "I should probably get rid of that breakup card as fast as possible...")
(Longshot looks around) So, who's starting?
I want to start!
(Hit turns his head towards Payoff, annoyed)
(Payoff looks at Hit without turning his head, annoyed)
Can i start? I uhm... could use a head start...
Head start? You? There's no way, I'm here to WIN!
We're all here to win.
!!!
No not you either!!! You probably have a way to get a turn 1 win!
(Wildcard rolls his eyes and shakes his head)
We can have the eldest person at the table start first?
Arbitraty, but works. Who's the eldest?
(Everyone's eyes slowly move towards Battat)
(....What a way to call me old) Okay...
(BB picks up a card from the draw pile and places it at the center of the table) Red 5
Alright...
(Hit immediately gets distracted from the game, his eyes looking around at everyone, stopping on Payoff. He smirks to himself, slowly leaning back while Payoff is busy thinking about something. He nearly falls back. "Kiss anyone?!" He almost nervously starts biting his cards. "He's totally gonna... I can't let that happen...." He looks at the card BB put down and throws one of his on top, grumpy.)
(Payoff turns his head to look at Hit after playing his card. "What's wrong with him? Hehe, he probably has shit cards.")
Oh, Wildcard, come on! You can't do this to me on the first turn!!!
(BB slides 4 cards towards Longshot)
(Longshot looks at his cards and a depressed look draws itself on his face)
What, do you really have nothing?
I knew I had no chance to win before even showing up here...!
(Battat looks at his cards. "Well..." He plays the "talk about your worst breakup or draw 4" wild card. As everyone starts paying extra attention, he readies himself mentally) Well. I guess it's my worst one partly because it's the only one. Back at card castle I used to have a few boyfriends, they picked on me a lot but I thought it was just playful teasing... Until they broke up with me, admitting that they never really liked me and just enjoyed messing with me cause it was funny.
(There's a long silence, at the end of which everyone immediately discards their break up card)
Did you guys just all throw out a card from your decks.
...No?
("God.")
("Clearly those guys didn't know what's good. I wonder how it's like living while having no taste?")
That's almost as toxic as whatever Hit and Payoff had going on back then.
(Hit's jaw nearly hits the floor hearing his name "I HELP HIM WITH HIS TAXES AND THAT'S HOW HE THANKS ME!")
(Payoff immediately tenses up "PLEASE DON'T ELABORATE.")
They dated?
Yeah, way before you got here. It was really bad. Though... We used to call their fights domestic MMA cause they were actually quite evenly matched. At first it was great, they were really lovey-dovey with each other and had a few other boyfriends, but those eventually left when they started to fight all the time.
...I can picture that yeah.
They broke up after a few months, but we had to help them do that cause they spent about an hour breaking up and getting back together cause they didn't want to be the one who got broken up with by the other. Wildcard eventually suggested that they should say it at the same time so it's a draw.
That's actually kinda funny. (Battat turns his head to look at Hit and Payoff and sees them both posing nonchalantly with very relaxed looks on their faces. "They don't seem that bothered by the story.")
("I want to die, right now.")
You know, Battat, that was... a special case. I'm not always like that in relationships! It's just that Payoff is really annoying when you get to know him too privately.
Hit is way too needy and possessive, he doesn't know how to give you a breather, you would probably agree with me.
Payoff only really knows how to show affection with his money, and he's not even that romantic about it!
And all Hit does is follow you around! Like what's the deal with waiting for me outside the bathroom stall???
("Nevermind, they are really bothered.")
(BB plays his wild card, "swap the cards of any two players") Hit and Longshot. Swap cards.
WHAT!? COME ON!
Woah, thanks BB!
(Payoff grabs both their hands and swaps them, chuckling)
(Hit looks at his new hand. "Fuck my baka life...") I can't play......(He looks at the card BB hands him) Nothing..(He decides to slide a card down his sleeve to get rid of it)
(Payoff lets his giddiness lip, playing "Kiss someone or draw 4 cards")
("God, i thought he would at least wait a little???")
(Payoff tries to act very cool and collected, but his heart is about to pound its way out of his chest) So... About who I pick... Tato?
Euhh... Fine?
(Payoff stands up and leans in for a kiss, eyes closed. He does get one, but... "That kiss felt a bit too familiar" He opens his eyes.)
Surprise, horndog!
YOU...YOU CAN'T DO THAT, I DIDN'T PICK YOU! THAT'S CHEATING!
TOO BAD! Card says to kiss one player, not two! Get bent!
(He turns towards BB) CAN HE DO THAT???
Yes. ("But only because it's funny.")
(Payoff sits back down, fuming)
(Hit walks around the table to sit back down at his seat, very proud of himself)
Wildcard!!
(Wildcard silently giggles)
(Longshot grabs the 4 cards he drew again) You can't keep making me draw cards...! Well, at least this time i can play...
(Wildcard rolls his head, and it lands on... well, we can't see the number, there's a post it note with "HAHA" covering it.)
COUNTER UNO!!
(BB sighs and draws 4 cards)
He's really here to win huh...
Boom! Turn block! You can't play!
You sleep too well for someone who plays like that.
WILDCARD.
(Wildcard is shaking with repressed laughter)
(Longshot grabs his 4 cards) You think you're funny??? I'm gonna be the first one to l- (Longshot's eyes focus on one of his cards) .......... (He plays it with a straight face)
"Take 1000 points and leave the game or draw 8 cards"??? What kind of card is that?
One that just made me 1000 points richer.
You're quitting the game??
Guilty as charged!
That's probably the best outcome for him.
Well, one less player is not something we should complain about!
(Battat nods then puts down a +4) Blue.
(He draws 4 cards and adds them to his hand) .....
Can you play?
(Longshot gets a funny feeling and gets up, running around the table to go look at BB's hand. When he finally sees it, his shock is obvious, and he starts counting on his fingers)
(BB plays his cards, it's all +2s) +10. Hit, you're out.
WHAAAT!!!????
(Payoff's eyes widen with surprise, then he's overtaken by uncontrollable laughter)
(Hit falls to his knees next to BB) CHALK YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!
I can. And I did. 17 cards, you're out.
Goddamn. Cold.
(He entirely falls to the ground in defeat)
(Payoff is on the ground too, but for other reasons. He's having a hard time catching his breath because of the laughter)
(He walks up to him to help him up) Hey dude, it's your turn, you gotta calm down.
(Payoff manages to take a few deep breaths and get back up on his seat. He puts a card down, but immediately starts laughing again)
Counter Uno.
I'm not even angry, that was way too funny... Hohoho...
That was really brutal. I didn't expect it, not from BB. What a hand.
That should be considered a war crime...
(Finally calmed down, Payoff looks at BB draw a card cause he doesn't have the right color. "No card huh?") Uno reverse!
Uno reverse.
...Whatever man. +4, yellow.
(Wildcard takes 4 cards, a bit miffed)
AHA! If you hadn't wasted them on me you wouldn't be in this situation.
(He nods, then plays two cards)
We should probably start answering those questions. I've got them all written down here, I'll be asking them, since I'm not playing anymore and...(He looks over at Hit)...Hit is not available.
Shoot.
"What do the guys like about Battat?"
EASY! He's the smartest person around this table!
What a compliment coming from you, Narcissus.
Look who's talking....
He's very passionate. Especially about his Mike theories.
("I'll never live this down, will I?")
COUNTER UNO!
(Wildcard looks away, trying to hide his annoyance. He almost had it...)
"What does Battat like about the others?"
Hm... Let me think.
Surely for me it's that I'm the cutest pippins around!
Bold claim.
STOP GOING AT ME, I'M ALREADY DEAD!
Well, BB is very level-headed and reliable. Payoff is always very generous with his money. Hit has a lot of good tips for a lot of different things. Wildcard always has quick solutions to hard to crack problems. And I think it's admirable how much hope Longshot always has for things despite how unlucky he is.
(Payoff draws the +4 he just got) Aww, thank you Tato <3 ("Am I generous??? I only ever give away change...") <- [Has no concept of the value of points]
I agree, BB is easily the most reliable out of all of us!
Thank you.
(Battat throws his last two cards on the middle pile) UNO FINI-
COUNTERUNO!
RAHH!
Sorry Tato... not.
(Wildcard smiles as innocently as he can as he puts down his "+5 cards to a player of your choice" and points at BB)
...
"If longshot always loses and payoff always wins, is longshot poor? And is payoff rich? How can longshot afford anything...." (He has the feeling of an arrow being shot through his heart)
Oh, Payoff is loaded.
It's what happens when you play as well as me!
He isn't allowed to play against the house anymore. They were losing too many points to him.
House is a COWARD and a LITTLE BITCH!
Aren't those synonymous?
It's about the emphasis. (He twirls his card before putting it down. "+4 to the person before you")
(Wildcard is smiling but only to hide murderous intent)
Hehe, not bad, Pay! (Hit seems to have totally gotten over his crushing loss. He goes over to lean on Payoff's shoulder to look at his cards, not as a cheating tactic this time.)
Those two share the same sentiment, "Honestly, Battat seems to be way less perceptive when with these 5." and "Theres no way Battat is that oblivious, he's gotta be doing it on purpose (at least some of it?)" ("Five different people have a crush on you...."Oh, it's way more.... we're just the ones who dare to hang out around him....)
("Are those real notes from the audience or are they making fun of me again???")
....I wouldn't say oblivious.... Ahem...."Honestly, Battat seems to be way less perceptive when with these 5" and "Battat, why are you so convinced these guys hate you? They invited you to the casino... seems like they like hanging out with you."
Wow, your audience is so perceptive, Tato!
Really! You seem to think we don't like you, but we do!
... Right. ("What would happen if I allowed myself to believe it?")
"Who is Battat's favorite?"
...! (Battat definitely feels the pressure of everyone looking at him.) Uh....I....guess....BB? He doesn't bully me as much as the others...
(BB lets a smile appear on his face)
...Honestly. I don't know what I expected.
I think I know what each of us expected... That uh, was the last question...
Payoff, it's your turn.
Don't look at me with a smile, it's creepy... (He looks down at his cards. "No yellow..." Payoff rolls his eyes with annoyance, then extends his hand towards BB to get a card. Lifting it to see what he got, his eyes widen.)
(Hit's hands tighten on his shoulder) DUDE. (He covers his mouth, realizing he just gave it away.)
COUNT-
UNO FINISH! (Payoff slams down both cards stacked, before moving the green 7 to the side to reveal yellow 7) Hoho... OHOHOHOHO!~
HAHA! HIGH FIVE!
(Payoff spins around and high fives Hit's hand as hard as possible, the sound getting the attention of passing by pippins. Both their arms hurt from that but the pain is drowned out by the sweet relief of victory. He punches the air several times) LET'S! FUCKING! GO!
(Hit raises his arms in the air in celebration, as if he was the one to win) YOU DID IT, MAN!
IIIIII DID IT!
LET'S GOOOOOOO!
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO~!
(BB is slightly miffed about losing, but he finds their enthusiastic celebration endearing)
(Wildcard gets up to hug Payoff as a congratulation gesture for winning. If he could, he would probably be screaming as loud as him) !!!
(Longshot starts applauding, still holding the papers with the questions.) Good job, Payoff!
That is... Intense celebration for winning 4000 points... Isn't that change for you?
(Payoff clears his throat and turned to Battat, trying to appear cool) Oh, Tato, you know me! Points are just a bonus to me, my favorite part of winning is the win itself!
I guess?
And, you are right, I don't need those, I was planning on giving them to Longshot if i won anyways.
(Longshot shows a hesitant smile) Wait, really???
Yeah, Anything to get you to buy those TV Dinners from anyone but Dealer.
Woah, thanks! (He starts thinking of how he won't have to do any overtime for at least two weeks. To him, he might as well have won the game!)
(His calm is cracked by giggling, which he tries to cover with his hands)
(Hit punches him in the shoulder) Good game you lucky dog!
How do you cheat and still lose so hard? Not too mad about it?
No, it's okay, I'll get you next time!
[Wow, what a game, huh? Pretty long.. would've been longer if i played fair! I messed with the deck, I admit it, I removed a lot of cards so the game would be shorter and it still was over 60 turns (63 to be precise). I didn't show EVERY turn here cause it would have been boring as hell, i mostly skipped turns where they were just putting down normal cards.]
[Thank you so much for your patience, I know this took a while to make! I'm sorry to have taken so long, and I hope you enjoyed this as much as i enjoyed making it. I'm terribly sorry if i accidentally missed something from the asks, you have the right to throw rocks at me (´。＿。｀) There might also be formatting issues cause lately I am not doing my best mentally so I miss a lot of things when cleaning up and editing text]
[So, the winner is Payoff. Interesting! I would praise his playing skills, but let's all be real here he mostly won cause he wants that cookie so effin bad. And for the others... I guess the walk with Battat was the friends we made along the way! (gets hit with a chair)]
[Well, expect his walk with Battat to be posted soon!]
[Aaaand here comes the last story! I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoyed the five others :) As last time, title links to a song that I associate with the whole group, as they're all featured in this one!]
Five Of A Kind
Payoff sits down on the sofa of the Mike room, crossing his legs and putting down the box he was holding on the coffee table. He turns it so it faces him, so he can admire his fantastic gift once more. A limited edition Tenna plush, Battat will 100% be loving this... and maybe...Payoff could ask for a kiss on the cheek?
"What are you so red for?"
Payoff looks to the side, annoyed. "Mind your business, Pink Telephone."
"Were you daydreaming about Battat? Let me guess, you want to ask him to kiss you on the cheek? No chance! If anyone's getting kissed at all, it's gonna be ME, because I have the best gift ever for him!" As he speaks, Hit looks at the box on the table. "Wait... THE PLUSH!?"
Payoff notices the box Hit is holding at the exact same time. "DID YOU COPY ME???"
"I think it's the other way around!"
"Copying YOU??? Won't be caught dead doing that! I had that idea first, I've been waiting to order that thing since the minute it was announced!"
"Well, same here!"
"You guys also bought that plushie, huh."
Payoff and Hit turn their heads to look behind them at BB who just arrived. He's also holding a box with the plush.
"There's no reason to fight." BB looks at their boxes. "Our choice of gift shows we all know Battat well."
"Well... I guess that's true." Hit sighs.
"I'm sure he'll be happy to have several."
"Yeah, you're right BB!" Payoff smiles, forgetting everything about his squabble with Hit.
The three wait for Battat a fair while, Hit entertains himself by stacking the boxes on top of each other and making sure they all align perfectly. BB sits staring into the void. And Payoff takes this chance to crunch some numbers to see how his spendings look for this month.
Longshot walks into the room and up to the trio. "Hi guys! Did you also come to bring Battat's birthday gifts early?"
Before looking at Longshot, all three look at what he was carrying. BB doesn't react, Hit starts laughing, and Payoff is worried.
Longshot now notices the tower of boxes on the table. "Ah.... Man, we all had the same idea..."
"That's fine!" Hit grabs the box from Longshot, and throws it on top of the tower. "Battat's gonna love his four plushies!"
"True that..."
Payoff follows the thrown box with his eyes. "Longshot... That stuff is expensive for someone like you. How long did you save up for it?"
"Since it was announced. I had to cut a few corners here and there but eventually i did make it in time!"
"You can't be doing this... You could have gotten something that cost less. Battat would be happy with a normal plushie, you know?"
"Yeah, but, you know, it's limited edition..."
"I'll just reimburse you for it later."
Hit giggles. "I hope I'm there for the day your card bounces!"
"Bounces?" Payoff reaches in his pocket, taking his credit card out. "Cards bounce?" With all the seriousness of scientific testing, Payoff drops his card to the ground, seemingly disappointed that it doesn't bounce off it.
The three others look at him bewildered. Hit the most. "That is not what that means?????"
"Then what does it mean?"
"It's when your card declines..." Longshot smiles, feeling a little embarrassed for knowing that.
"Declines?"
Hit grabs Payoff by the collar and shakes him. "ARE YOU ACTING DUMB ON PURPOSE???"
Payoff grabs Hit's collar and butts heads. "I CAN'T KNOW EVERYTHING, ASSHOLE!"
BB looks away from them and at Longshot. "Is Wildcard coming?"
"Oh! Yeah! He said he would be there in a few minutes."
BB looks at the ground, thinking for a few seconds. "You know what would be very funny?"
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Okay, Battat. Say, hypothetically… like, purely hypothetically, everyone else at the table has feelings for you in some way. Again. Purely hypothetically. How would you navigate the game from there after learning of this? Hypothetically, of course.
[Pt.9]
("Is my audience also making fun of me now..? What kind of question is that..") I think it's silly to think of scenarios so far removed from reality but.. I guess I can entertain you?
(Payoff was already paying attention, but now he's double paying attention)
(Hit was trying to peek at Payoff's cards but his attention is now diverted)
(Wildcard looks in Battat's direction)
(Longshot hides his face behind his cards, but still listens)
(BB doesn't turn his head, but like Longshot, he's paying attention)
(Battat thinks for a while) Honestly, I don't know? I think i would leave.
???????????????
(He shakes his head) I've seen those guys in relationships, I wouldnt even want to risk ending up like that. I would leave.
(Payoff lays on the table face down)
(Hit feels stupid cause he knows exactly what Battat means)
(Wildcard seems confused since from his point of view all his past relationships went well)
(Longshot silently sighs, then starts rocking on the back legs of his stool)
...
....But...
...............
(Battat thinks some more) Well, if in your hypothetical scenario they also don't treat me like that... hm.. I would just navigate the game normally. And maybe it wouldn't feel so weird hanging out with them.
(Payoff immediately sits back up, and his head starts spinning. "Woah! Whoaw! He sounds like he would consider it...Woww!!!!")
(Hit nearly drops his cards, startled by Payoff)
(Longshot loses his balance and falls backwards)
?? (He looks down at Longshot to make sure he's okay)
(BB turns his head away from Battat to make sure his blushing goes unseen)
(Battat turns around) ...Did Longshot leave? What was that thud?
Nah i'm here!! (He stands up and picks his stool up, then sits back down)
(Battat looks at Payoff) And why is his head rolling?
I PUNCHED HIM!
(Payoff's head finally stops on a 6)
(Hit punches Payoff as a demonstration)
(That does work to make Payoff's head spin again, but he falls off his stool, knocked out)
HIT??????
I DIDNT MEAN TO HIT HIM THAT HARD!!!
("Maybe I should have gotten something non-alcoholic for Hit too.")
(Battat shoots everyone a weird look reaches for his cards, but after patting the table a few times, he looks down and doesn't see them) ...my cards?
(Longshot was already looking for his on the floor) Did anyone see my cards? I must have dropped them when i fell...
(Wildcard realizes that the cards he had in hand are now gone) ..???????
(Hit notices that both his and Payoff's cards also are gone) huh? Uhh... I didn't see your cards Longshot, did you see mine?
(BB looks down to check on his cards and they're gone too) ... (He looks at Hit, irritated)
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT??? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING???
(Battat scratches the back of his head) Uhh.. I guess we have to start a new game. We can count this one as a draw.
Is Wild card fully mute or does he have something like selective mutism? Either way cool; you're my favorite, Wild card, here *gives wild card seven +4s*
[Pt.8]
(Wildcard is very flattered, he grins joyfully)
He's fully mute. At least I think??? I've known him for years and i haven't heard him make any sound. But despite that, he's quite talkative, for longer sentences he points at things to make us understand what he means, which is pretty elaborate, or writes it down and passes us the paper.
(Wildcard points at a bunch of things while rolling his head and stopping it at carefully chosen numbers)
He says thank you for saying he's your favorite.
Brothers, sisters, mom, dad? That's a lightner thing, right?
Yeah, pippinses don't have families. We just spawn in when a dice is made. To each other, we're either enemies, friends or partners. How would having kids even work for us, anyway?
(Payoff's head spins in excitement) WE COULD TRY AND FIGURE IT OUT????
Hmmm... (Battat nods) I guess I could spend a few hours thinking about it to take a break from the Mike theorizing. Thanks for the idea!
... You're welcome....(Payoff is devastated by his flirting totally flying over Battat's head and his dice lands on a 1. Since it's his turn, he absentmindedly plays a number card)
COUNTER UNO!
(He looks at Hit confused, then down at his hand, only now seeing that he only had one card left. "Goddammit....")
You're really off your game today.
("NOOO! look like a total LOSER, and in front of Battat too!!!! I need to focus, I NEED TO FOCUS! I can't lose this!")
Payoff.
(Payoff looks at BB, then at the cards he's holding) Ah. Haha. (Payoff takes them. "Distracted again....")
Hey, Payoff, you gotta get a grip, I don't think staff has any pillows left for you to cry into if you lose too hard!
I'M NOT GONNA CRY JUST CAUSE I LOST!
You have before though.........
I HAVE NOT??
You have... Several times...
(BB looks at Payoff, then stands up) I think it's time for a break. We all need to refocus. I'm going to get us drinks. (He starts walking away)
(Battat looks back at BB walking away, then looks at the rest of the table) I'm going with him. (He gets up and catches up with BB)
(BB looks down at Battat) Battat?
I figured I could help carrying all the drinks.
Thanks. (He stays unreadable, however, he is actually really happy that Battat is coming with him, though he also feels a little shy about it)
Do you think I can get something with alcohol?
Yes. I'm getting everyone something with Alcohol. Except Payoff. He doesn't need it.
(Battat tries to think of something to talk about so things don't get awkward)...Did you get new heels? I know you're tall but you look taller than usual.
I didn't. You forgot yours.
(Battat looks down and remembers that he did put on flat shoes today) Yeah, I guess... ("He's so hard to talk so. Probably cause he doesn't want to talk with me...Maybe I should have stayed at the table.")
Oh, hey! BB, Battat! (The pippins at the counter waves at them, then opens the little counter door to let BB through)
Hi Pass. (BB walks in and starts getting what he needs to make drinks)
(Battat leans on the counter) Hi Pass..
It's not like you to show up at the casino! What gives?
Well I'm here with BB and the others, they invited me so I'm gonna show up.
Woah! So that's the trick? Hey, maybe I should invite you sometime?
(Battat stays silent, cause if you have nothing kind to say you shouldn't say anything. He's just staring)
Don't just stay silent??????
How much is it gonna be for my drink?
Yours is on the House! (Pass smiles and winks)
(BB turns his head towards them) How about the others?
(Pass keeps his smile when looking at BB, but it's a little less friendly) No you five still have to pay!
... hm. (He furrows his eyebrows)
FINE! Whatever man, it's just 5 drinks I'm sure House won't mind...
BB seems like a really cool and reliable guy. Why doesn't he like his new name though? Is BB a short for something? What was he called before?
[Pt.7]
Before... (BB falls deep in thought, calm at first, then he seems to be getting more and more irritated)
(Payoff pats him on the shoulder) Hey buddy, calm down, it's all good...
...AGHHHH!!! I HATE THAT! I HATE HIM!!!!
(He keeps patting his shoulder hoping that it's eventually gonna do something, cause he's way too scared to get closer than that)
I SWEAR TO GOD I NEED TO SEE HIM TURNED TO STONE. I NEED HIM GONE. NO ONE'S EVEN GONNA CRY ABOUT IT!! NO ONE LIKES HIM???? SO WHY ISN'T HE TURNING. INTO. STONE???
You need to chill... they're gonna call security...
(BB bites down on a towel he had in his apron to stop himself from any more screaming. It rips a little)
(Hit seems to find the outburst funny) His name used to be Chalk, cause he was Tenna's favorite Pippin. Easy to see why, his drinks are really good and he's no nonsense and reliable. He loves being a barista, back then he was gonna be promoted to be the official one of the studio... and then Ramb arrived! (Hit partially covers his mouth with his hand and giggles) BB stands for Bad Beat. A good hand that's really likely to win but gets beaten by an even better one. (He shrugs) Unluckyyyyyyyy~!
(Longshot leans in closer) Hit, are we actually gonna claim those points if we win? Or are they bogus?
You don't have to claim them, but I sure as hell will! 5000 points and taking Battat out for a walk sounds good to me!
You're so greedy??
And you don't know a good deal when you see one! Why are you so invested in what happens with the prize money anyways? It's not like you're gonna win it!
...I just might!
Actually, seeing you win might just be so funny that I won't even be upset about losing!
[...] And besides, just cause he got picked doesn't mean you're terrible at your job. A bad beat still requires a strong hand.
...Thanks.
...
...
...
...
HEY! I'M KINDA SAD TOO NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT??
I'm feeling a little upset... it would be nice if someone reassured me that I'm still cute!
My name also sucks! I might just cry about that!
(Wildcard puts his hands over his heart and feigns being sad)
