Apr 2, 2020
There is a medium establishing shot of a kitchen table. Flight of the Valkyries plays quietly. The camera slow pans until it settles on me, silently weeping in the corner. Flight of the Valkyries swells triumphantly as the camera pans once more, then zooms to a close up of my cat devouring the girthy bowl of granola and mayo I prepared myself for lunch. Credits Roll. There is no bloopers reel. There is no Flight of the Valkyries. There are only the quiet sobs of despair, and a somber, unending scroll of white Times New Roman on a black background.
