#unlearning oppression

Is what we are judging actually hurting or harming anyone? Is it abusive, oppressive, discriminatory, bigoted or a so-called “micro”-agression? If so, what’s the best way to acknowledge that, apologise, do better, undo any harm done, and move on?

But, more often than not, what we are judging is not harmful at all! More often than not, the jugmental thought (word, action) itself came from oppression or abuse that we have learned.

Often we turn learned oppression or abuse against ourselves. We try to spot this and forgive ourselves for turning it against ourselves. We will talk to ourselves (or think, or write in a journal or here) about how that judgement or mean thought (or act, or word) came from learned oppression or abuse. How it is not helpful, but harmful. We try to be kinder to ourselves and undo any harm done. We try to do self-care instead, to help heal.

For example, I see my reflection on the phone screen, think “I look fat and ugly” and realise that that is judgemental, oppressive (fat-hatred and lookism) and therefore not helpful. I tell myself that I look how I look and that is ok. Our body is that way and bodies like these are ok and good. I tell myself that it is understandable to have fat-hating thoughts because that is what we are taught in this society. But I let it go. I try to think something nice instead, if I can. We try to do self-care to undo the harm and stop the train of thought that was self-oppressive. Maybe wash our face, comb our hair and eat something tasty <3

We believe that fighting oppression and unlearning oppression, bigotry, discrimination and “micro”-aggressions is more effective if done out of love - including self-love! - than if it is done out of guilt, shame, or even fear or a wish to please or impress others.

We also believe that fighting oppression is most effective when we take every opportunity to practice that we can. Questioning judgemental thoughts, words and actions is a habit that we have built. It is very helpful to us, it helps us be less confused, more clear on our values (does it do harm or not?) and it also helps our mental health a lot to question self-judgement.