#universal-rambler

The only question is which one’s which.

Gonna have to do some simple, stupid photoshop later to change some colors, but.

Esfir knows it’s all about cardio.

Inzo knows that he doesn’t actually have lungs.

🌟: Do they consider themselves a good person?

“Loaded” is the word, yeah.

But honestly, I think he does.  With a big ol’ asterisk, sure, but at his core, he thinks of himself as a good person.

He deals fairly with people, he’s gone out of his way to help a few people, he’s given up money he needed to people who needed it more… he’s just also done so in a manner that he would call bad or un-nice because on a utilitarian basis?  Yeah.  He’s done a lot of good.

But also, he’s a big ol’ asshole to other people and is happy to opine about the people who deserve him being an asshole to them (and it’s a long, long, long list).  People who are mean to street performers who aren’t causing any real bother, for instance, can go suck a fuck and he will tell them that to their face.  Possibly with a bat. 

Going out of one’s way to figure out which people you get to be mean to is far from a good thing to do, but being fully good will earn him the “reward” of becoming human and… naaaaaaaaaaaah.

The asterisk is that his sense of self-preservation is, he worries, a bit exaggerated because it determined his first and probably life-defining choice. But on the other hand if someone expects you to die, they’re treating you as disposable and fuck them.  But on the other other hand… 

It’s a spiral.

“That is...A rather difficult question” The toreador’s eyes slowly fell as she first had to admit to herself that she had lost faith in humanity to begin with.

But where had it started?

Certainly before her death, especially as odd little things in the unlife had given her new faith here and there.

“The easiest answer to that would be when I felt I was pushed out of my education, unable to keep up and fearful of costing my family too much money. Even worse guilt when it was all for naught and I felt the only way to make up for it was to marry as fast as I could, so that I wouldn’t be a burden”

There was a sour little chuckle, the woman slowly shook her head.

Yeah.

Go on a horrible lying spree.  Just tell all the lies forever.

And then... uh.

I dunno?

Probably keep doing what I’m doing but either enjoy the fact that I can be way more shitty about stuff OR find out that I’m actually a really sweet person and FUCK, what’ll I do then?

Talk about a scary thought.  The idea that I might actually be a really nice person forced by the threat of being a meatsack to be shitty.  I like being shitty, but maybe that’s just rationalization?  My nose isn’t growing, so.

It’s like what would you do if you were suddenly totally unable to hurt people, or what if you woke up with the key to universal happiness with no downsides or what if you didn’t need to eat anymore.  It’s too big.

Do you mean “we” like you and me?

Or is it every one of us, a big ol’ “we” omnibus?

If the rhyming is left to just you and me, singing and busking becomes much more easy.

If “we” refers to all people and races, the world will be far more frustrating in all of the places.