#underconstructionblog

My Story of Brokenness

I wasn’t able to make Concord Church this last Sunday and I am kind of a little upset that I missed it. But I am truly grateful that I was able to catch the message today on the church website. This message was so powerful and almost had me running around my classroom doing a praise dance until my students came in from lunch.

My story of brokenness…I really don’t think I am at the point to where I am able to share my story of brokenness because I believe that I am in that season right now of being broken and slowly being put back together. From quitting a job of 6 years and stepping out on faith to following my dreams, taking all my money out the bank to pack up and move to an unknown and then to find out that what I want obviously wasn’t what God had planned for my life. Which led me to start over and look at the bigger picture, that’s brokenness! Through this new season in my life I could clearly see God working his magic!

The speaker on Sunday came out of the book of Acts, Act 9:1-22.

Brokenness is a shattering of the self-will resulting in absolute surrender to God. When I was at the beginning of my brokenness, I lost nights of sleep because I was really questioning if this is where God wanted me to be. Once I remembered (because trust me this is not the first time I have experienced brokenness) to surrender my all to God that is when it truly hit me that I was where God want me to be. I needed to move away from my Shepard (my pastor), my praying father and mother, my prayer partner, so I can truly experience that grace and mercy of God and to see for myself how God works in mysterious ways.  

Brokenness is necessary when our will is contrary to God’s. (Act 9:1-9) Sometimes God takes OUR sight just so we can see His will a lot clearer. God has to break us in order to get our attention to show us that at the end of this brokenness season He will give us peace.

Brokenness leads to total dependence on God. (Act 9:10-17) Believe it or not but I believe God loves weakness, because in our weakness that is when His power works the best. We wouldn’t be able to see Gods glory if everything in our life was so great! “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

Brokenness is the beginning, not the end. (Act 9:18-22) At the end of brokenness, I can say is the beauty of it all. Think about puzzle pieces, when you get the pieces out the box you really don’t know what the puzzle is going to look like and you don’t know how long it’s going to take to put the pieces together BUT once all the pieces are together, it’s a beautiful picture. We serve a great Puzzle Maker! My broken pieces make a beautiful picture because from that beautiful picture are the benefits of the brokenness. Out of brokenness, God gives new vision as well as strength to get through the brokenness. Out of the brokenness it prepares us for the journey at hand, I can truly say that after taking this leap of faith and moving to a different city by myself (well with God), It showed me that for the next journey I will be ready and more dependent on God and that I can help someone who is scared to just step out on faith and do it, I call it a “YOLO moment” (You Only Live Once). Brokenness most of the time is not about us, it can be about someone around us who needs to see God’s work in us.

Food for thought: Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NIV) You may be in that brokenness season but remember that God began a good work in you, and YOU will carry it on to completion, the worst thing you can do it give up! DON’T GIVE UP, EMBRACE THE BROKENNESS!

This Sunday I was blessed with the opportunity to go to church with in old friend in Dallas. I had a wonderful time in the Lord and this one sermon really touched my heart! My story of Overcoming! When I think about my story of overcoming, it puts me in deep thought as to all that I have been through. I look back on my life and I thank God that I am not the person that I used to be I am becoming that woman after Gods own heart!

This message really brought volume to my life because it made me think about my past and what I have overcame; all the obstacles, all the battles and all the drama. After all that I’ve been though I still have JOY!

Sometimes the odds are stacked against you. (v. 1- As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.) Come to find out Gods works best when the odds are against us! I believe that is because we are able to actually see God in our drama, and our poor situation.

When the odds are stacked against you, it puts you in the perfect position for a miracle. (v. 2-5- 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work.5 While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”) The reason we are put in a position is so people can see the glory of God in our life. God truly does work best in difficult situations. An addict overcoming addiction, seeing that come to life helps us to realize that was God who helped that addict overcome the odds against them.

When the odds are stacked against you, do whatever Jesus tells you to do. (v. 6-7- 6 After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. 7 “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.) This is when God is testing us to see if we are going to do what he told us to do. After our test comes a testimony! 

When God overcomes your odds, remember to give Him the credit. (v. 8-11- His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, “Isn’t this the same man who used to sit and beg?” 9 Some claimed that he was. Others said, “No, he only looks like him.” But he himself insisted, “I am the man.” 10 “How then were your eyes opened?” they asked. 11 He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”) Once we have overcame the odds that is when we can continue (remember praise God while you are going through your storm) praising the Lord and truly say “It was nobody but Jesus.”

When I think back on my past, I used to always think why did God let me do this and that, why did I have to go through all that drama just to learn a simple lesson, why was that season such a hard season for me to overcome? Then it hit me, I went through that so I can be that person to help the next person and the next and the next. While I was going through my season of overcoming someone helped me get through it, so I should be able to help the next person!

As I continue going through this new season, whenever an odd comes against me I will look back on this message and keep reminding myself that it was nobody but Jesus, he brought me this far for a reason, he will not leave me…he may have to carry me…but will never leave me!

When I first saw this photo on Instagram my heart laughed and I had to share it with my girlfriends and people on Facebook., not realizing that there was a lesson behind this photo and I was soon to realize what that lesson was.

I can truly say after doing this photo exercise I learned a lot about myself and what I would really value in a man.

7. No kids $1- I have had a lot of good and bad experiences with men would children but I can honestly say my ideal man would not have any kids. I want to start a family, not join in on an already made family. Call me selfish but I want to be second in a man’s life (God First), of course if he has children or a child, I would have to come third, fourth and maybe even fifth (depending on how many kids he has) which I would understand, but I would still prefer to be second after God, and if that is selfish of me then I guess I am selfish.

2. Funny $1- I am goofy and love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. My ideal man would have to be funny because I truly think that would keep our relationship going. I need someone I can be goofy with and he will understand my goofiness. Someone who can crack jokes with me and we can just sit up all day and night and laugh.

5. Faithful $3- And of course my ideal man would need to be faithful. I have been cheated on in my past and that pain that came with the cheating I wouldn’t want to wish that on anyone. To be cheated on and loose trust and faith in that relationship and attempt to get it back but it has failed. I wouldn’t want to repeat the same cycle so faithfulness is a BIG must on my list!

When I shared this with my girlfriends a lot of jokes went around talking about “I would be in overdraft” “I need a loan” “I need more money.” But this exercise really opened my eyes as to what I am willing to buy (want in a ideal male).

We ladies tend to have a long list as to what we want our ideal man to be like but what happens when that one perfect man comes into your lift and he is 5 out of 7 on your list, what do you do? What are your deal breakers? Are you willing to go into overdraft protection just to buy more for your list or are you willing to get a loan?

Believe it or not I learn from this exercise that I really need to stay within my budget when it comes down to building my ideal man. This exercise did make me want to look at my list (you know that ideal mate list that we as single ladies have) and really think about what I can and cannot live with!

I hope you learned something from this photo just like I did!

Until we meet again!