#under.mattsun

“Who the hell are first and second?” He all but pouts.

“Not you, so mind your own business.” You don’t really have any favorites, and Matsukawa honestly wouldn’t be anywhere near top three let alone top five. Maybe not even top ten.

But you needed some alcohol and weed and if the payment was blowing Mattsun for all five minutes he could last then you could make it work.

“What do you want?” He rolls his eyes, stepping back to let you step into the shitty apartment he shares with a rotation of his even shittier friends.

You watch him kick the door close and cross the filthy living room to snatch a vape off a coffee table with a hole punched into it, waiting for him to look back at you.

“Missed you.” You lay it on thick, complete with fluttering lashes and honeyed tone, knowing full well that the poor dumb desperate fuck would fall right into your hands. Ever since his one that got away finally left him behind for good he’s been off his game.

“You didn’t.” To his credit he tries to shrug you off, but the crease in his brow and the way he immediately began to lean into you was enough to tell you he’s still hurting or whatever. Delectably vulnerable even.

“Issei you’re gonna hurt my feelings.” You grab at his arm, watching as he puffs on a menthol vape you recognize as Iwaizumi’s. “Let’s get high.”

“So that’s why you’re here, can’t, smoked all my shit last night.” He doesn’t look at you.

And you’d be an idiot to not take advantage of that.

“No, you didn’t.” He’s a shit liar, right there next to Kindaichi.

“I didn’t.”

“I’ll blow you.” And you know you’ve got him when you see that telling tick in his jaw.

“Let me put it in.”

“Nope.”

“Just the tip?” It’s never just the tip and both of you know that.

“That desperate?” To his credit he nods solemnly, probably too “heartbroken” to try creeping on some unsuspecting pretty little things in the club like he usually does.

You make a show of tapping your index against your chin, as if you’re really considering your options. You figured there was a chance he’d pull this move, and today you’re feeling a tad generous.

“If you can last longer than five I’ll let you put it in, raw.” You’d be impressed if he makes it to five minutes, the poor guy is clearly pent up.

“Really?”

“But either way I get whatever bottle Oikawa’s hiding in your room.” The idiot always hides his alcohol in Mattsun’s room, for some reason no one else has figured it out.

“It’s Jameson.” He winces.

“So? I’ll take it, cmon big boy let’s see if you’ll last today.” You grab his hand and make your way to his room, trying (and failing) to hide a smug grin when you shove him past the doorway.

Yet the way he came crawling to you begging for attention, for just a second of your pity, you couldn’t help but give in.

“How many times have I told you talking to three different girls wouldn’t work out?” You look down at the pitiful mess of hair on your lap, biting at your bottom lip when he mumbles something against your thigh. 

You release an exasperated sigh and pat his head, letting it rest at the base of his neck, fingers brushing underneath the collar of his shirt as you aimlessly trace figures against his skin. He turns his head to face your body and yawns loudly; he looks comical with his head in your lap and the rest of his body starfished on your bed looking more like a blob than a six-foot two man. 

“Mmm treat me kindly,” he rubs his cheek against your thigh and you lean back against your headboard, poking at his cheek, “I’m tender.”

“Like hell you are Mattsun.” You snipe as he lets out a pitiful moan, flopping over onto his back, giving you a good view of his forming black eye and scabbing split lip. 

“Aw don’t call me that, everyone except you.” His eyes flutter shut as you trace the edge of the bruise, squashing the temptation to jab a finger into the purpling flesh. 

You couldn’t say he didn’t deserve the injuries considering the way he tends to blow through people’s feelings day after day. He really should’ve expected the possibility of this outcome when he decided to play three girls who live together at the same time.

“I’m not calling you by your name, last time i did that, you made gross jokes for a week,” you drag your finger down his cheek and across his jawline, silently admiring the sharpness of his features, “and hearing you trying to imitate me and moan your own name was traumatizing.”

“C’mon you liked it, and can you blame me? The thought of you moaning and screaming my name is so fuckin’ hot.” You feel your cheeks surge with heat leaving you to make a point to roll your eyes dismissively, trying to ignore the shameless implications. 

“I'm gonna kick you out, ugly.” He frowns at the slight jab, but there’s a wave of relief that your sharp comment snubs out some of the tension rising in your shoulders, easing the air surrounding the two of you. 

“You wouldn’t.” He pulls himself off of you to sit up, moving so that his hands bracket your waist, before you can even react, you feel the hot, wetness of his tongue against your cheek.

“No! What the fuck!” Swiping furiously at your cheek, you try to shove him away when his arms circle your waist and pull you into him, flopping back onto your bed.

“Mattsun!” You yelp trying to claw out of his hold, he chuckles to himself quietly and keeps a tight grip on you. As you continue your fruitless struggle to escape him, he rolls the two of you over, making sure to keep most of his weight on top of you, pinning you down and leaving you truly helpless. 

“C'mon Starshine, say my name.” He presses his cheek against yours, his breath fanning across your ear, forcing you to stifle a shiver begging to run down your spine at the sensation.

“No you slimy rat!” He huffs a laugh as he continues to tighten his grip on you and shift more of his body on top of yours. You stiffen against him, trying to ignore the rigid planes of his body pressing against yours.

“How dare you call me a rat, we’ve been friends for how long?” He lets his head flop forward onto the mattress, his hair tickling at your nose as you turn to focus a glare at the side of his head.

“The answer to that is way too long.” You let yourself relax in his grip, knowing that any further resistance is futile. You try to wiggle into a more comfortable position but with his arms pressing into your lower back and the way his entire body is crushing yours, it makes it an impossible feat.

“Mean, you’re always so mean to me,” the way his face is shoved against your comforter muffles his words, making you click your tongue in response. You’re still facing him when he turns his head again, raising it so that your faces are only hairsbreadth apart, “hey Starshine.”

“Hey Mattsun, I thought I told you to not call me that anymore.” You turn your head quickly to look up at the ripped One Direction poster you had pinned to your ceiling months ago. 

You sigh at the memory of Mattsun ripping it off your wall back in middle school, telling you that you had lame taste in men. He had ended up showing up with it taped back together and begging for your forgiveness. He was so sweet then, skating to just have a mindless little pastime, only to have it consume a monstrous amount of his personality come high school and university.

“Say my name then.” You feel his forehead knock against your jaw and hope he doesn’t notice that your heartbeat is starting to quicken. The constant insistence of the demand is new, he’s never really cared what you called him in the past, the inevitable switch from Issei to Matsukawa at some point during middle school hadn’t phased him. 

So why was he so adamant about this?

“Absolutely not, we’re not ten anymore, you’re Mattsun the rat and Starshine is a dead nickname.” You yawn, rubbing your cheek against him, if you’re gonna be trapped under this idiot you might as well take advantage of his warmth and take a nap. You stifle a snicker at the way you can practically hear the gears turning in his head, basking in the rare silence.

“The rat huh? Can rats do this?” The peaceful notion of a nap is ruined the second his hands slip out from under you, ramming his fingers into your sides, forcing a gasp and broken laughter to erupt deep from your belly.

“Oh my god stop, I will kick you in the face, no! Mattsun! You suck!” He presses against you, slotting himself between your legs to avoid the risk of you kicking him in the stomach, a deep laugh tangling with your wheezing pants. He pushes his face against your neck and starts to messily lick and nip at you, only making breathing and trying to focus on anything but him that much more difficult.

“Say it! Say my name!” He sings into your ear, the movement of his fingers unrelenting.

“O-Off! No! Get off.” You huff, hopelessly thrashing about underneath him, after a painful few seconds he eases off slightly, letting you catch your breath.

“Now, now Starshine, just once? For me? I love it when you say my name,” He rises enough to rest his forearms on either side of your head, effectively leaving you trapped to only look at him and him alone, you shake your head, narrowing your eyes in an attempt to match the intense gaze he has on you, “no?”

“I bet I can make you scream it.” He rasps, it comes out sounding somewhere between a threat and a tantalizing promise, it makes your fingers twitch and your breath quicken and you’re not sure if you should be staring directly into his eyes, out of fear of melting under his piercing gaze. 

“Mattsun?” He dips his head and captures your lips before you can even try to question him. It’s not the first kiss you’ve shared, moments of innocent stolen kisses and awkward make out practices stream through your mind hazily, no, it’s not the first kiss you’ve shared, but it’s the first one that’s felt this earth shattering. 

Consumed by the overwhelming heat coursing through your body, your jaw unconsciously slackens, allowing him to delve his tongue into your mouth, exploring everything you have to offer. Mindlessly, your hand slides up his chest and settles at his nape, fingers brushing against the stray curls growing over it and petting them fondly.

“My name,” he pulls away panting, he’s too close for you to properly focus, your eyes jumping around his face drinking in the sight of blown pupils and wet, parted lips, “say it.”

“I thought you were gonna make me scream it?” You challenge, letting your nails drag against his nape before sliding a single finger down his jaw to prod at the scab on his lip.

“Do you want me to?” His voice comes out incredibly soft, there’s a part of you that’s always hated that he’s become this way,  steamrolling over every other girl’s feelings, using and tossing them like they were nothing but toys, but not you. No matter how much he changes as a person, or how much he teases, he treats your feelings like porcelain, like you're the only one worth treating right. You hate it, but you can’t help but revel in it.

“Are you gonna give me an infection?” He flushes at that and you would feel bad about the comment if you hadn’t wasted so much gas on him, driving him to doctors appointments and pharmacies after countless, reckless nights.

“Once again,” he pecks your lips, once, twice, “mean, but this time fair.”

“Hm so how are we gonna go about this?” You can’t help but laugh a little when you can see the gears turning in his head again. 

“How about?” He lifts a hand and holds it in front of your face, wiggling his fingers.

“Your nail polish is chipping, nasty ass.” You cringe at the risk of having nail polish flakes left inside you and no matter how curious you’ve been about Mattsun and his rather long fingers, you’re not willing to risk it.

“God, you really know how to ruin the mood huh? You got condoms?” He slides off of you, sitting up with a quirked brow.

“Holy shit you know what a condom is? I guess you can put it in then.” You move to prop yourself up on an elbow and point towards your desk, letting your eyes wander over Mattsun’s frame as he gets up to look through the drawers. He tosses the box of condoms over his shoulder at you, keeping the small bottle of lube in his hand.

“Your attitude makes you undeserving of not-so-little Issei, so you’ll be getting condomed fingers.”

“Don’t use condom as an adjective.” 

“You’re continuing to kill the moment Starshine.” He moves back onto the bed, kneeling at the edge, his body is rigid, hesitation creasing his brow and you wonder how a man so confident can look so unsure before you. The bruise adorning his left eye and cheekbone should make him look intimidating, a fearsome sight to behold to any but you, all you see is the boy you’ve adored for so long, the one who bobs back and forth from friend to pseudo-lover to friend again, constantly toeing a line that the two of you have only now decided to cross.

“Then bring it back.” The biting of your lip and teasing tone coating your words seems to snap him out of his slight haze, the challenge in your tone making him flash a wolfish grin as he surges forward to capture your lips again. 

The way his lips move against yours burns at your skin, sending rampant flames running through your veins but the lingering hesitation in his mind makes his ministrations stiff, only causing a surge of jealousy to wash over you at the thought of all the girls who’ve been allowed to experience an impassioned, almost ruthless Mattsun flashes in your mind. You seethe at the thought of a side of him you haven’t seen but so many others have. 

With a petty jealousy burning beside your desire, you toss the box of condoms to the side snaking your arms around his neck and let yourself fall back against the bed, pulling him along. He tries to keep his weight off you, sliding a leg between your own until his knee meets the apex of your thighs. You make a point to let out a shameless moan as his knee presses against your clothed cunt, grinding down with a harsh buck of your hips.

“Tease.” He pants against your lips, running his hands up and down your sides, pausing as his fingers slip under the hem of your shirt. You soften at the look in his eyes, has he ever looked this insecure before? You let your head fall back against your bed and bring your hands up to cradle his face. He hums softly as you gently run your thumb back and forth over his bruised cheekbone.

“It’s always been you,” You admit quietly, your chest tightens as his mouth falls open, “so stop being so unsure, I wouldn't be here if I didn’t want this. If I didn’t want you.” 

You slide your fingers into his hair and pull him forward until your nose touches, allowing you to watch as the remaining inhibitions slip away from his features. That familiar warmth that you can only describe as fondness blooms in your chest, making your own lip quiver a bit; has it always been this intense of a feeling? There’s an annoying little voice in the back of your head telling you there would be a lot to unpack after this little tryst. 

“Okay,” he whispers, eyes fluttering shut, “okay.”

The second his lips touch yours the shift is palpable, there’s no teasing intent or move to prove anything. He kisses you like a man starved, igniting a deep seated want as you grind against, wanting anything he could possibly offer.

“Iss-”

“Not yet.” He mumbles against your lips, “don’t say it yet.”

“Didn’t take you for much of a romantic.” He trails his lips down your throat, teeth scraping over the skin as he hums a reply, hands inching your shirt slowly up your body. 

He leans back to tug his shirt off, exposing a rather sizable bruise on the left side of his ribs. Mindlessly your fingers ghost over it, debating whether it’s from the scuffle of having three different women throw things at him or the usual bruises from skating. The thought fades away as he takes your hand in his, bringing your knuckles to his lips before letting it drop against the bed. 

“With you? Sure, why not.” 

“God now you’re the one talking too much.” You laugh, moving to pull off your own shirt, only to have him beat you to it. He makes a point to drag the rough pads of his fingers up your spine, a smug grin pulling at his lips at the way you squirm under his touch. With rapt attention he strips away at your remaining clothing, pushing away your hands if you even tried to assist. 

It’s embarrassing how he leaves you to lie completely bare beneath him, hands planted on either side of your head as his eyes roam slowly over your body with that growing hunger that forces a heat to surge through you.

“What are you…” You can’t find it in yourself to even bother finishing the question, distracted by the way a deep flush crawls into his cheeks and chest, it would be nerve wracking to have him stare so unabashedly if there wasn’t that overwhelming adoration in your heart and in his stare.

“Just let me, god, just let me look at you.” His voice is quieter than it’s ever been, eyes both shy and starved as they move so slowly, as if committing each inch of your flesh to memory. 

“Okay enough.” A nervous laugh bubbling as you raise your leg to nudge at the prominent bulge in his pants. He falls forward with little grace as he captures your lips, doing little to spare you from his weight with his body now flush against yours. You can’t help but laugh against his messy kisses, distracted by him aimlessly grabbing around the bed. 

You move to nibble along his jaw, tongue tracing the vein decorating his neck, the sound of a wrapper being torn and a cap of lube being popped open making the thrum of your pulse surge sharply, making your head spin.

“...Around my shoulders I guess.” You’re not sure if he had even started the sentence properly or you were far too entranced by the feeling of him against you, but the message is clear enough for you to throw an arm around his shoulders, drawing him close. 

The sight of the condom pulled over his middle and ring fingers dripping with too much lube only makes a laugh bubble in your chest, paired with that sappy tenderness you could never shake if you tried in his presence. He lets out an annoyed grumble before rolling his eyes, moving to run his fingers against dampening folds. 

It’s impossible to hide the shiver that runs up your spine, or the way you arch into his touch. There was no point in doing so.

 Without any further reservations he makes quick work of your throbbing cunt, teasing your wanting hole, pressing at your aching clit.

“The lubes cold you ass.” It comes out breathy, the usual bite lost as he pushes both his fingers past that ring of muscles, wiggling them experimentally as he shoves them deeper.

“Is it? Oops.” There isn’t a hint of remorse, only punctuating the goading words with another sharp thrust of his fingers, a wanton moan forced from your lips. You tighten your grip around his shoulder, pulling him closer, leaving him to bury his face against your neck. “Can I?” 

You mumble an affirmation, unsure of what he’s asking and unable to focus with the way his fingers reach deeper than your own could ever, sighing as you feel his teeth scrape over your neck. It’s embarrassing really, the way you can feel yourself barreling towards bliss, so wrapped up in the way he sucks harsh marks into your flesh, consumed by the way each twist and curl of his fingers sends a prickle of pleasure across your being. 

It only takes a few harsh circles of his thumb against your clit to send you teetering over the edge, a garbled moan of something akin to his name and ‘fuck yes’ ricochetting off the walls and echoing in your ears. 

“Fuck, that was so hot, you good?” He touches his lips just below your ear, that breathy rasp still present in his voice, only sending another prickle of heat through your face. 

“Yeah, can you just,” you move your arms off his shoulders, flopping against the bed, “can you just fuck me?” 

“W-What?”

“You heard me.”

“You aren’t tired? ‘Cause I can go get myself off and…” It’s endearing how much concern is in his voice, trying and failing to cover his own excitement at the prospect.

“Cut the shit, put on a condom and put it in.” You bring your leg up, landing a firm kick to his chest, only a second of guilt flashing in your mind when he scowls at the impact. 

“Oh now you’re gonna fucking get it.” He’s hooking a hand under one of your thighs, mumbling a ‘hold this, before grabbing for the condoms again. You laugh as you obey the command, holding your leg while he scrambles to open the condom, managing to tear it open with his teeth. 

“Tell me if it hurts.” It’s the closest to a warning he can offer as he drags the head of his cock along slick folds, prodding at your entrance with a sense of care you’d never experienced with past partners. Slowly, he pushes into you with a bit of ease, your heart racing that much faster at the way his eyes are trained on you. Watching closely for any sign of the slightest discomfort.  

“Ah!” You try desperately to will yourself to calm down, already teetering on the edge, so close to cumming again the second he bottoms out. There’s a headiness to how he  fills you up so nicely, his hips flush against yours, quickly replacing the hand on your thigh with his own. You move your hand to grip at his forearm, just tight enough to tell him to keep still. “God, who allowed you to be this hung?”

“I mean…” He chuckles softly, shifting on top of you once more, another whine escaping as the head of his cock presses against your cervix. 

You throw your arms back around his shoulders, drawing his face close enough for you to plant a sloppy kiss on the corner of his mouth, jolting when it only pushes him that much deeper into you. 

“Don’t even finish that sentence.” You pant out, already overwhelmed at the sheer size of your childhood friend. It was more than irritating that the rumors proved to be true. 

“Okay now?” He makes a point to press a few kisses along your jaw, the question sliding across heated flesh.  

“Yeah,” you wiggle your hips just a bit, testing whether or not the feeling of practically being split in two held an inkling of pain, only for a quiet moan to slip out, “ just, go slow.”

He nods his head, licking into your mouth as he starts to thrust his hips languidly. It’s intoxicating, the way his lips move against yours, the way that his cock drags along twitching walls, you feel stuffed full of nothing but him.

Issei, Issei, Issei.

The feeling of him consuming you, filling your thoughts, plaguing your mind, he’s all you’ll ever need you think, he’s all you’ve ever wanted you decide. 

“Issei please, fucking, please.” You gasp out, detaching your lips from his as the whine in your voice turns achingly desperate. 

“Louder baby, c’mon be louder for me, Starshine.” His pace barely quickens, still fucking you so deeply and slowly that you swear he’s going to drive you insane, the sensation tugging at you further and further down that path of incomprehensible euphoria.

“Issei!” For a split second you can’t help but think that this is what you had been missing. All those years of dodging undeniable feelings, of swallowing down the bitter words, of ignoring the way you had wanted him so desperately. 

You're beyond any words as a blinding heat and pleasure ravages your body, you can’t help as you tear your nails down his back, teeth sinking into the tendon running between his neck and shoulder, revelling in the way he mumbles your name over and over again.

He manages to keep himself from collapsing on top of you as he follows you in that blinding pleasure with a low grunt, rutting against you, riding out both of your eyes as he buries his face against your neck, whispering incoherent nothings. For a moment you stay just like that, tangled together, sticky with sweat, panting in the sex-ridden air.  

Ignoring the bit of disappointment at the condom barely separating the two of you, you find yourself running your fingers through sweaty curls, that overwhelming sense of fondness singing in the back of your mind. 

“I think I, uh, I think I like you more than I wanna admit.” It’s muffled by the way he keeps his face pushed against the crook of your neck, and you can’t help but let out a snort. 

“You have such a way with words, just commit you smug fuck.” He lifts himself just enough for you to cup his face in your hands, searching those familiar eyes for a hint of a lie, just a glint of that usual teasing light. 

Yet there isn’t a trace of it, he shakes his head tightly, still letting you keep a hold on him. He caresses your jaw with bruised knuckles, finally pulling out of you and eliciting a tired mixture of a grunt and groan from the both of you. 

“I don’t wanna say it if you’re gonna be mean.” He confesses petulantly, sliding off the bed and slipping off the soiled condom. You lean back on your elbows as he walks around the room, tossing said condom and grabbing a towel off the door hook. “Hold on.”

“Where are you going?” He throws open your bedroom door, sending you a cheeky grin before walking out shamelessly in his naked glory. Mind still muddled, you barely register the implications of him stepping out into your apartment, covered in sweat, and naked. 

By the time you even bother to think if your roommate is back from classes, he’s slipping back into the room, face and hair dripping wet and a damp towel in hand. 

“Issei, I’m not gonna say it first.” You don’t bother chastising him for his actions, the lack of screaming from a horrified roommate combined with the exhaustion settling in your body is enough to keep you from even growing annoyed at him. 

“Well neither am I, you hurt my feelings, wait. Say it again.” He runs the towel over you with that same tenderness you had never once assigned to him in the past, letting yourself melt into his touches. 

“What? Your name? I was saying it earlier?” You hum, letting your eyes flutter shut as you feel him move from the bed again. 

“Aw c’mon that was different, please.” The sound of him rifling through the dresser sends bile rising in your throat. He always keeps clothes at your apartment, something about convenience, it wasn’t anything new. But to hear him look for clothes, right after the two of you had...it only fed into the one too many stories he had told you about ditching girls right after taking whatever he wanted. 

Despite the sour taste in your mouth you open your eyes, just in time to see him pull on a pair of sweatpants and nothing more. He launches himself towards you, unable to react as he drags you into his arms. Without much of a fight he manages to wrestle you into his arms, pulling one of his shirts over your head, keeping you hugged against him.

“I don’t wanna say it for real yet. Is that okay?” Just as before it’s so raw, so vulnerable that it makes your head spin, you can’t help but move to straddle his lap, wrapping your fingers around the back of his neck and touching your foreheads together.

“I don’t want anything you’re not ready to give,” you watch as his eyes squeeze shut, the bob of his Adam's apple signalling the choked back emotions, “Issei.” 

His arms curl around your waist, drawing you impossibly close, with a contented sigh you let yourself soften in his hold. It feels perfect, slotted together so sweetly and comfortably.

“If we’re gonna keep fucking you’re gonna have to get tested.”

“Ruining the moment again, Starshine.” He rolls his eyes, the light tone of his voice only making you giggle.

“Issei I’m serious, and no one else.” You chew at your lip, trying to pretend your voice didn’t break at the request. There’s a flicker of hurt in his eyes, followed by something akin to understanding as he nods his head once more. 

“There never was and never will be anyone like you, not to me.” His voice goes low, like a secret meant for you alone, one that you won’t be able to ever let go. 

The only confession you’ll ever need. 

matuskawa issei’s name was tacked with some of the dirtiest of rumors that were accompanied with a plethora of gross truths. when you had met him you were floored, your dearest, loving makki, called this entitled, smug skate rat, his best friend? it didn’t take long for his sliminess to seep through immediately and in the beginning of your relationship with makki you did everything in your power to avoid being near matsukawa. but as your relationship grew, so did your face to face contact with his dangerously flirty best friend.

“i just want two of the most important people in my life to get along!” makki had said one night while you two readied to go out for drinks with his friends. you had melted at the sparkle in his eyes when he smiled so lovingly at you. you know that could’ve told makki just how much his best friend made you uncomfortable, but the endearingly fond tone of voice he used when he spoke of the other man made you keep your lips shut tightly on the manner.

it was how you ended up in your current position, sitting at the back corner booth of one of your favorite restaurants, makki seated across from you and matsukawa seated beside you. you had made a point to sit as closely to the wall as possible, punctuating the action with a curt glare at matsukawa before focusing all your attention on the love of your life.

“it was incredible really, i can’t believe you tried to climb a tree that tall.” makki amuses as he recounts another mischievous act from their childhood.

“now now makki you mean succeeded to climb,” he spreads his legs further under the table, forcing you to squeeze your legs together to dodge any contact, “i was a tree climbing god.”

“yeah tell that to the broken arm you got when we were 10, oh excuse me we’re ready to order.” you almost sigh dreamily at the polite smile makki has on display as he waves the waiter over. as the waiter makes his approach, makki continues on with the story behind matsukawa breaking his arm and you do your best to ignore said man yawning dramatically, stretching his arms out and almost swiping at your face. he shoots you an unapologetic smirk as he scoots just little bit closer to you, you lean your head against the wall trying to focus on whatever makki and the waiter were idly chatting about.

“and for you miss?” you snap your eyes up to look at the waiter, opening your mouth to recite your order when you feel a hand land on your knee, making your eyebrow twitch. this isn’t new, you couldn’t pinpoint when it had started, but matsukawa had always been a little bit too touchy, so a hand on resting on your knee or an arm thrown around your shoulder was nothing new. what is new, is when you slightly jerk your knee to tell him to remove his hand, only for him to keep it there firmly planted with the audacity to even squeeze lightly.

“babe?” makki stares at you intently, and with a clench of your jaw you ignore the hand on you to tell the waiter what you would like. as the waiter turns away, makki dives into a story from his russian literature class, detailing just how insane he thinks his professor is as you nod along, forgetting that matsukawa has planted his hand on you. until you feel his hand slowly start to creep up your leg, making your entire body tense up, you send him another narrow look as he shifts in his seat leaning towards you a tiny fraction. for a split second, you wonder if the metal of his rings were cool to touch, or had they siphoned the heat off his hand, and would feel as if it was burning into your skin, branding each inch of bare flesh he touched with the crawl of his fingers.

“-okay love?” the soft coo brings you from your thoughts, making you flush with shame, your hand comes down and grips at matsukawa’s wrist to stop him from going any further.

“i’m sorry i might’ve...”

“spaced out? thats okay. i was just saying i don’t think i can do our usual monday study date. iwaizumi and i have this biology project and...” his voice drowns our as your focus is pulled to the sensation of matsukawa forcing his way out of your hold and pushing his fingers between your thighs, continuing to slide his hand up at an achingly slow pace.

say something, your brain screams, anything, get up and go to the bathroom, do something, your boyfriend is right there.

you press your legs together tightly, hoping the message comes across, but matsukawa is on a hell path, shamelessly trying to push you beyond your limits as his fingers dig into your inner thighs. at the back of your mind is that tiny voice that’s tormented you since meeting him. a part of you wants this, you’ve always been curious, that carnal attraction to such a rotten and handsome man is undeniable. because despite the perfection and bliss of an achingly sweet, tooth rotting boyfriend, the utter taboo of his disgusting best friend is far too tempting to not think about.

“th-that’s okay hiro.” you chew at your lip trying to play off the the stumble of your words by relaxing your shoulders, hoping that he won’t question you. you try to start a round of idle chatter as you make another weak attempt to remove matsukawa’s hand from you.

“hey you know what we haven’t done in awhile? bothered oikawa.” matsukawa leans back, looking almost innocent with his signature lazy grin. you wrap your fingers tightly around his wrist, trying to keep your position as natural as possible so that makki doesn’t pick up on what’s happening. makki agrees with a flourish of words and you don’t miss the way matsukawa’s eyes slide over to you, as if challenging you to say something to makki.

“it’ll break his heart,” matsukawa had said once when he had trapped you on top of your washing machine in the apartment you shared with makki, he had the tendency of backing you against a wall, making you feel small under his presence, “besides who do you think he’ll really believe about who came onto who? i’m his lifelong best friend and you’re just the flavor of the month.”

the memory causes a searing sensation to burn at your chest and your face, this time you dig your nails into matsukawa’s wrist, a more adamant command to leave you alone. only to make your resolve crumble as his fingers dance along your clothed cunt, making your legs fall apart just a touch. it’s a shameless action that incites a bubbling of shame in your stomach and you realize your fatal mistake. you’ve shown a sliver of interest, you’ve given in just enough that he’ll only push further.

the moment you spot the waiter holding plates of food you breathe out in relief, figuring it’s the end of his little game as the plates are set out in front of you. you release your grip on his wrist and he retracts his hand slowly, a wave of relief washing through you. tinged with something resembling disappointment.

“here babe try this.” makki holds out a spoonful of curry and you lean in to take a bite, spluttering at the feeling of matsukawa suddenly shoving his hand into your pants. you choke and cough as makki scrambles to hand you a glass of water, matsukawa a disturbing pillar of silence beside you. you stiffly turn your head to look at him, eyes pleading for some sort of answer as to why now he’s decided to hurdle himself past the line he’s been so keen on toeing since you’ve started dating his best friend. to your horror he’s sitting there quietly, as he peacefully uses his right hand to feed himself, as if his left isn’t currently shoved into your pants teasing at you with the full intent of driving you insane.

“sorry sorry i’m,” yours eyes widen as matsukawa’s fingers press harder against your covered folds, harshly dragging his fingers up to your clit, “f-fine.”

“are you sure? you’ve been looking a little red the past half hour or so, are you really feeling okay?” the concern in makki’s voice punctuates your guilt as you squirm slightly at the way matsukawa teases your clit through your panties.

“promise love, i’m fine. i think i j-just,” in one swift motion matsukawa pushes your panties to the side just enough to thrust a finger into your core, “didn’t sleep well!”

“mm it’s the stress from your history class?” you don’t trust your voice to not shake as matsukawa pushes deeper and deeper, achingly slow there’s an almost delicious burn from the sudden entry.

“mhm.” you grip your silverware tightly in each hand, a helpless shake of your hips as matsukawa curls his finger inside of you. the way you clench around his finger only encourages him, a soft huff of amusement spilling from his lips as he thrusts his finger into you.

“makki, did you finish the chem homework?” he pulls his finger out just to the first knuckle, teasing at the rim of your hole, you try not to jump when you feel the tip of another finger settle near your entrance.

“don’t.” you whisper, but the word goes ignored as he thrusts in the other finger, the sting of the dry addition burns through you and biting back a moan as your eyes widen at makki who’s so peacefully eating before you.

“did you say something love?” you feel your legs start to shake a little as matsukawa ruthlessly thrusts his fingers in and out, pressing the heel of his palm against your swollen clit.

“i um don’t forget to, empty the dishwasher?” your words come out breathless and makki only hums in agreement before continuing to shovel curry into his mouth.

“doing okay there? haven’t touched your food.” the glint in matsukawa’s eyes is borderline sadistic as he pointedly looks between you and your food. before you can reply he sharply curls his fingers again before scissoring them apart making your legs spread further, silently and shamelessly asking for more.

“i’m fine? see?” you make a point to take a big bite of your noodles, swallowing them down as matsukawa presses in a third finger. there’s barely an ache this time as he works in another finger, your dripping cunt practically begging for it at this point. the familiar tightness begins to coil deep in your belly and with a particularly harsh curl of his fingers, your head snaps down, jaw dropping as you clench around him. without hesitation he continues to knead the heel of his palm against your clit as your cunt greedily squeezes his fingers. his motions become lazier as your body shakes from the searing bliss shooting through your veins. and the thought of choking him when this is all said and done is at the forefront of your mind.

“y/n?” makki reaches across the table and intertwines your fingers. guilt swirls in your chest as you raise your head to meet makki’s eyes, a weak smile at your lips.

“thought i was gonna sneeze.”

“say makki can you get the waiters attention, i want some more water.” he makes a point to shake his cup of ice. makki pulls away from you and looks away from the table. you pant out a few breaths as matsukawa pulls his fingers out, leaving you feeling empty and shaken. you take the risk to look at matsukawa, looking painfully proud of himself as he brings his fingers to his lips, licking the glistening juices coating them.

“sweet.”

“yeah? cmere and sit on niisans lap.” his arms around you before you even register what he’s said, vision blurring as you’re dragged against him.

“dude she’s gone,” the statements accompanied by a hearty laugh that’s oh so familar and you blink at the figure that floats towards you, “think she’ll mind if...” the words float through your mind, you hear them but they barely scratch the surface.

you feel the hum of your step brothers words more than you can hear him, faintly aware of the fingers slipping under your shirt and another set of hands trailing up your legs. there’s another wave of laughter that makes a giddy feeling fill your chest and giggles to spill past your lips.

“feeling good?” the whisper of words fan across your ear and you nod jerkily, “good, then sit still and be good for niisan and his friends.”

Desperate and depraved, you can’t help but think how shameless you are, arching into the caresses of your boyfriend’s best friend like a touch starved whore. As if you don’t spend night after night curled up to Makki’s side or more often than not, underneath him. 

Yet here you are, skillful fingers taking apart your inhibitons with each sinful stroke. You wonder just how you ended up in this situation, locked in a rundown bathroom stall in some dive bar with Matsukawa of all people. 

You wonder if Makki’s noticed you’re gone, that you’ve both conviently disappeared at the peak of the party, his birthday party.

“Just a quick little something, for old times sake,” Matsukawa grins, dragging his tongue against the shell of your ear, “c’mon I know you miss it, miss me.” 

“Q-Quickly.” You stammer, reaching down to hike up the hem of your dress. 

“Your wish is my command.”