#uncle les

Friendly reminder that "Uncle Les" is short for Uncle Lesbian. Lestat is THE mean lesbian protector, I said what I said.

(or something, I don't know, I need a setting)

Priest: as some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year

Claudia: do you mean when you shacked up with the slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you?

Lestat: Claudia, please! raise your hand if you want to ask a question

Claudia: *raises her hand*

Priest: *clears his throat* okay, I think we should just move on

Dropping the hammer, Les flexed his hand, scowling at the lingering stiffness. He didn’t usually try building things on his own--and the plethora of bent nails scattered around the shed proved that--and with that... that... whatever he could call it earlier...

He wasn’t at his best. 

Not that he cared. 

“You will suffer if I learn of anything different than our deal. You will be much happier having a happy niece, that I do promise.”

Jaw tensing, Les turned, leaning against the shed wall, and let out a slow breath as he looked at the tiny bundle of Chessi’s belongings he’d wrapped up. If he buried those, finished building rickety shelves and arranged the shed to look as if no one had ever lived there...

He didn’t give a fuck about his niece’s so-called “happiness.” She’d been nothing but a burden to his brother and with his death, the problem had dropped onto Les’ lap. And he’d done his damn best with her, hadn’t he? Put a roof over her head, kept her fed. Chessi hadn’t been thrown out to starve, even if it would’ve made his life easier many, many times. 

This, however...

This. 

Being assaulted in his own home by some random idiotic would-be “hero” counted as the last straw. Les cursed himself for having not done a bit more proactively to be sure Chessi wouldn’t survive that shove off the cliff. Let the wannabe “hero” find her decomposing body in the desert, if the local fauna left anything to be found. That would’ve served him quite well. 

However, luck somehow favored the idiot and not Les. He knew damn well she’d come crawling back at some point, and when she did, he was just done with fussing around with this thrice-damned problem. If she couldn’t keep her fucking mouth shut, she’d learn the hard way that inciting strangers to come attack the only person who’d ever done anything to keep her alive and well wasn’t the best idea. 

Eyeing his hand, remembering all too well the sharp agony of that damn blade sinking into it, Les grunted and pushed off the wall. 

If his damn idiotic niece came back, she’d either learn to shut the fuck up or she’d get six feet of his property between his teeth. He was done with the problem of Chessi.

“Another? ANOTHER ONE? I’ve HAD it with you!”

“I’ve put up with your stupidity long enough.”