#uncle grumpy

Starving on Long Island

Eight buckeroos. I feel the pain too.  It is a ripoff. But, don't despair. I've got more answers than your teacher's math book. Pay close attention to my directions and you will be chowing down on all the hot buttered popcorn you can shove in your pie-hole.   Now you need to get to the movies early so you can see where the electrical outlets are against the walls.  They use these outlets when they plug in the vacuum cleaners for the once a year cleaning.  Now it's moms turn.  She needs to dig out or buy a cheap poncho.  That's what she will wear when she smuggles in a small microwave oven.  Once seated, find a plug and start poppin'.  With everyone's cellphones ringing and babies crying no one will even notice.  Thank me later. Oh, keep a bag or two of Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Korn handy if I run into you.

My little league coach can get pretty intense.  He always yells at us when we make a mistake.  His face turns deep red and sometimes he even shakes a little.  The home plate umpire kicked him out of a game earlier in the season for yelling too much.  I get pretty nervous when I’m at bat and I’m afraid to make an out.  Uncle Grumpy please help me out!  Nervous in New Jersey.

No worries my pint size slugger.  Uncle Grumpy is going to tell you exactly what to do.  First of all, Dr.Giggles had it right, laughter is the best medicine.  Your coach might not know it but what he needs most of all is a good laugh.  It’s true!  So wait until you find yourself in a real close game, preferably in the late innings.  When you step into the batters box, take a deep breath and visualize yourself smacking the cover off the ball! When you do just that and get a hit, drop the bat and run directly to THIRD base.  Everyone, especially your coach will get a great laugh out of that one!  Thank me later