Every day, there are a million interesting interactions happening in the world. Â Most Americans focus on the .01% most interesting ones, like what size butt implants the Basketball Wives are buying. Â I'mma bring you the news and what I think about it, Abney style. Â Without further ado, here are my 'top five':
1. Â Unemployment- 96,000. Â The number of US jobs added nationwide between July and August. Â You know what Abney thinks? Â If you have a job, keep that shit. Â
2. Â Racist DNC Tweets- Here's a good one:Â @mattcorn4, "Obama is just like another loudmouth nigger, just sitting on his ass waiting for his welfare check and complaining about nothing at all!" Â What Abney thinks: Â Pretty certain that out of the 44 Presidents we've had, their Presidential wage disqualifies them for welfare. Â @mattcorn4, 100% certain you're stupid.
3. Â Tornado Country? Â On September, Saturday 8th, New York experienced two brief tornados in the city of Manhattan. Â What Abney thinks: Â The flood of Mayan believers passing out flyers in the Times Square tunnel begins........now! Â #endoftheworld2012
4.  Chipotle's New Chain- Steven Ells, the owner of Chipotle, is bringing his latest "watch us make your food," Asian-infused chain, Shophouse, to DC Chinatown! What Abney thinks: anything the creator of THE best guacamole (and chicken soft taco...and burrito bowl) makes is lined with gold.  #fatkidmoments
5. Â Old Boys Club? Â Condoleeza Rice and financier Darla Moore became the first two women admitted to Augusta National Golf Club, which hosts the Masters. Â What Abney thinks: We're in the 21st century, Augusta National Golf Club Men, yall are terrible, Â you know you late as hell.