in the same vein, vanessa feeling like you’re just too good for her everything feels too good with you, so she starts taking it out on you partially because she’s craving the adrenaline of fucked up shit but also because she thinks she needs to do something that will make you want to leave her so she asks less and less for consent for it as she gets rougher and rougher but you just won’t leave.

and it does something do her, the fact that you won’t leave. maybe you’re like her, needing to feel the pain and rollercoaster of emotions as she forces herself on you yet again, grabbing you with bruising touches and pounding into you until you ache.

you don’t know why you stay. well, no that’s a lie, you do know why. it’s just that every rational part of your brain is telling you to get the fuck out.

you love vanessa. every fucked up part of her. it’s not that you think that you deserve the abuse, but rather that you think she deserves to be able to chase that feeling she craves, take out her issues on you rather than doing something stupid, rather than becoming like afton….

you’re a self sacrificing idiot, maybe. but you love her. and you love the pain she gives you, the way she laughs as you cry underneath her, licking your tears from your face. the way her fingers leave bruises around your neck and stinging red marks across your face.