#ultimately

Are you from planet earth Chris or maybe some other alien anime planet perhaps?

i was gifted with the blessed skill of knowing English. Truly its an universal language and gives me opportunities no other language can give

That post about softness is making me think about how much of my problem is being a tremendously soft and gentle spirit within a frame built for hardness. A body which generates aggression by its mere hypothesis. I've been thinking a lot lately about the way people discuss my body as a weapon. Treat me like a bomb. How they always have. Just about every other physically-large, masculinized person I've spoken to has voiced similar experience. External stimulus shapes you. Like a square watermelon. This mold is the role created for you; at least people know what to do with that. There exists a tension when you don't fit into the expectations of others, even when the expectation they have of you is to be a monster. You are more animal than other people. You must become timid to compensate, it's a decision you make yourself. But, in being timid, you are not fulfilling these expectations, so you are not deprived of abuse. This anxiety still surrounds you, so people will put you down, trying to keep you in your place. Treat you like it's a trick. Trying to suppress you while simultaneously being disappointed that you aren't their monstrous fantasy. I think this is a kind of abuse which is widespread in our culture and chiefly experienced by masculinized individuals, and is proportional to perceived masculinity. Underscores the experience of being considered an animal weapon above all else.

sometimes I get psychic damage from the absolute fanfic people put out about That Man but then your blog realigns me because you’re not afraid to call it out <3 many thanks <3