#ulquinel

“I’m terribly sorry but I cannot allow you to engage the Fourth... He would see it a inconvenience and a mild nuciance to draw his blade against you, as would I please rethink your choices carefully and plan a different course we do not wish to harm you..” Nelliel spoke softly as she performed Sonido to be at the “six” of her comrade to his surprise.

{{ for one-month RP anniversary with @raggedyespada, kind of a drabble, hope you like it!!​ }}

“Even though it is my birthday today, this date holds much deeper meaning { it’s not like he cared about birthday anyway } and that is anniversary with you, something actually worth remembering and marking somehow. And considering I am not the best when it comes to emotions in general, I will try to somehow articulate how I feel about you into words here.”

Feelings are something I have long thought to be futile delusions created by those who intend to give some kind of meaning to their miserable lives, and sought myself to be above that. My supposed life as an Arrancar has been filled only with eternal emptiness, which I embraced as endless nothingness for it seemed as an only rational thing to do, connections are meaningless and only a distraction. We all are but empty shells, our head is void, we become what we perceive, we serve the duty we are created for. 

NIHILISM, true happiness can only be obtained by having nothing, and having nothing to lose, such a perfect way to live - without being able to get hurt by another being. Such an ideal theory, and then YOU INVADED MY WORLD. Even though we associated with each other before it was strictly business, who would have guessed that a mission together and discussing our views on life would turn into something as simple as talking about books and merely spending together just because we could.

You were in clash with everything my theory stood for, I kept repeating it in my mind over and over whenever a word or touch from you would cause such an abnormal and foreign reaction, a FEELING, that I could not describe nor comprehend whatsoever.

Such a remarkable woman and an Espada - so keen and intelligent, strong and resourceful, those were the traits that drew me towards you, merely as a companion among all these beast-like Arrancars, but as time passed by I saw more in you, more than I wanted to see - a kind Hollow, what a CONTRADICTION. Kind, cheerful, compassionate, capable of emotions - everything I was not. At first unappealing, but my curiosity got the best of me it seems.

Day after day further connection seemed as something inevitable, my efforts of treating you as a mere comrade in vain. Many times have I wondered  “What is this woman doing to me?” “Am I going insane?” “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Yet after it did, I couldn’t crave for anything more but you.

It’s been a while since I discarded nihilism, why bother pursuing it when YOU clearly proved me wrong? Even if you were the only exception, the rule could no longer be useful to me, for if someone is above it, able to drag me out of it, it is no longer impeccable, no longer an impenetrable wall I had built around myself. I am aware you have your share of flaws, but you are nothing less but perfect to me for you have ruined what perfection used to represent for me.

You saved me from an empty bottomless pit my life was falling into by your mere presence. By the sole fact that you exist, exist BESIDE me.

I don’t Quite know what this ‘love’ everyone talks aboUt is, but if I were to imagine it as the embodiment of a single rEsplendent mind it would be you. You aRe the one that showed me there actually Is something beyond servitude and Duty in life, there is also HEART, there is Also YOU. This something between us, the way my mind and body react to you, I can’t put it all in one word - attraction, fixation, interest, zeal, aspiration, desire, yearning, trust, commitment, maybe even the so-called ‘love’, only time will show it seems. I don’t doubt that it will, for every moment spent with you is cherished and welcomed with honour, another page of the story you once said you wanted to write with me, so let’s try to write about true love.

Nelliel, making a peace sign: Lit.

Ulquiorra: What?

Nelliel: I don’t know, it’s what I do when I don’t know how to respond.

(Later)

Nelliel: Ulquiorra, I think I love you.

Ulquiorra:

Ulquiorra, making a peace sign: Illuminated.

Ulquiorra: Wait, no.

Ichigo: Haha, dumbass.

Orihime: Hey, Ichigo, you look great today!

Ichigo:

Ulquiorra: Wh-

Nelliel: But then I remember, I won’t be able to see you again.

Ulquiorra: Wow, I-

-

Grimmjow: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Nelliel: You two must have gone *wild* last night!

Grimmjow: Uh, yeah...

( Flashback to the night before )

Nnoitra: Hey Grimmjow, bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling!

Nelliel: *rolls her eyes*

Grimmjow: Give it a rest Nnoitra, she didn't care when she was called way worse.

Nnoitra: Worse like what?