This is the unnecessary consequence of me wanting the protagonist of a shitfic to be a silly german middle aged woman. Please accept this funky little map before I open the exposition floodgates!
Ulmich is a region in what would be Pokemon's equivalency of Europe. It's pretty much just a yassified PokeGermany. It's in the center of this alleged "PokeContinent," and shares a border with the Kalos region to the west.
The official language of Ulmich is Ulmichan (which is just German), though most Ulmichans are bilingual, fluent in both their native tongue and either Galarian (English), Kalosian (French), or another.
The legendary Pokemon of Ulmich is Bundesaetos, a regal black eagle that Ulmich credits as its founder. Instead of using "Arceus" as a sort of stand-in word for "God," Ulmichans will often use "Bundesaetos" instead. This is not to say Bundesaetos usurps Arceus as a God, but rather that it's such an important piece of Ulmichan culture that it warrants its own everyday use.
Despite this, Bundesaetos hasn't been sighted in quite some time.
Cities [In Order of Population]
Zergen is the capital of Ulmich, as well as its most populated city. It's the industrial, financial, and government heartland of the region, a true concrete jungle if the country ever had one. This city is quite fast-paced and crowded, so cars aren't the most effective form of transportation. Instead, Zergen's got quite the underground transit system, providing commuters access to most of the city.
Additionally, Zergen is home to Zergen International Airport (ZIA), and Zergen University, among others. As far as the Pokemon League goes, Zergen has no gyms, nor is it the home of the Elite Four - but it's a must on the bucket list for tourists!
Waldig is the second most populated city in Ulmich but definitely has Zergen beat in terms of trade. It's the one Ulmich city that's right on the sea. Besides ingoing cargo ships from Galar, Kalos, or Paldea, Waldig has quite a lovely maritime beachfront and a shockingly successful cruise industry! Waldig is home to Ulmich's first and easiest gym, specializing in Water-type Pokemon.
Schwassberg is the third most populated city in Ulmich, which is quite ironic considering its placement in the more treacherous reaches of the region. However, it's mostly unperturbed by the Stahlgrenze Range due to its placement juuuust outside of its boundaries. Schwassberg residents are noticeably more laid-back than most other Ulmichans, and this is exemplified best in their world-renowned annual beer festival (Yes, we're talking Oktoberfest). You're gonna see a lot of silly Unovans come to Schwassberg for a keg or two.
Schwassberg hosts the eighth and final gym, as well as the most difficult. Considering the range that surrounds it, it's appropriate that the gym specializes in the Steel-type.
Munseedorf, lying right by the heart of the West Munsee River, is home to lovely scenery alongside the calming sounds of Munsee's current. Being closest to Kalos, a lot of Munseedorf's population is fluent in Kalosian, and the general culture is much more mixed between Kalos and Ulmich than in other parts of the region. Munseedorf houses the sixth gym, specializing in Grass-type Pokemon.
Strossem borders the Kitzberg Range to the east. As such, the city provides lovely, albeit daunting views of Mt. Kleinkrieg. Known for the "Strossem Sausage" and a thriving skiing industry, the city's doing quite well for itself. Strossem is home to the seventh gym in the Pokemon League lineup, specializing in the Bug-type.
Nachtfurt is the closest to what you could consider smack-dab in the middle of the region. It is widely considered as the "garden city" of Ulmich, as even the most urbanized squares of Nachtfurt are sprawling with gardens and forest cover. It's definitely got a gothic academia vibe. Nachtfurt is home to the fifth gym, which specializes in Ghost-type Pokemon.
Vechtwald, aside from Zergen, must be Ulmich's most blatantly historic city. Walking around the central streets will display a centuries-long myriad of architecture, from the newest marketplace to the oldest cathedral. Vechtwald is home to the second Pokemon gym, working with Dark-types.
Rosenschen is a city caught in the aridest part of Ulmich. Surrounded by the Rosenkranz Desert and Norwuste Range, Bundesaetos knows that it's a bit hard for things to grow. Citizens make it work, though, capitalizing on a sort of cowboy aesthetic to attract tourism. Rosenschen's gym is fourth in the League lineup, focusing on the Ground-type.
Mecklenstadt is the ninth and final city of note in the Ulmich Region. While it's not a buzzing metropolis, Mecklenstadt is quaint and historic, a much less busybodied rendition of Zergen. The city itself is probably best known for both its many Pokemon sanctuaries alongside its monopoly on Ulmich's northeastern beachfront. Mecklenstadt houses the third gym in the Ulmich League, Dragon-type in nature.
Rodenheim is the northernmost settlement in the Ulmich Region, situated at the very crest. It's like Waldig, but a much more downsized and rural version. If Ulmich were a game, Rodenheim would be the player's hometown.
Nordmund is primarily known as a fun art town. Have you got a love of gardens, old imperial palaces, and chocolate? Nordmund's got you covered, so long as you can put up with pretentious hipsters.
Kirchatz is very similar to Vechtwald in the old architecture field, minus the city aspect or secularism. Kirchatz people tend to be pretty religious, so if you're an Arceus-fearing fellow then I suppose you'd be right where you ought to be. For the rest of us, it's a bit awkward - but at least the churches look pretty.
Kalingen is a glorified rest stop. I believe in Kalingen slander.
Augureich, sitting right at the base of Ulmich's highest peak, is a village absolutely pelted by rain and snow. Augureich's a mining town, to be sure, but it's also full of spirituality and mystique. Legends say that Augureich was the birthplace of Bundesaetos. If you manage to outlast the blizzard on the way, here's to hoping you have enough money for a monk!
Gipfelitz, Ulmich's southwesternmost point, is the home of the Pokemon League itself. That's right - this little place is where the Elite Four and Champion conduct business. In Gipfelitz, upon a horizontal mountain face, belies a massive cathedral: The Pokemon League building. Walk right on in! If you dare.
River Munsee is Ulmich's longest river, spanning out to reach across much of the northern and central reaches. Because of its shape, Munsee is divided into two parts: East and West Munsee. These rivers are vital for the prosperity of Munseedorf, Nachtfurt, Nordmund, Vechtwald, Strossem, and Kalingen.
Brandewitz River is the lifeline of Zergen and Waldig, and certainly the busiest waterway in the region as a result. Both cities use Brandewitz to ship their cargo to and from their ports, as well as the rest of Ulmich through smaller channels.
Herald River is the most straightforward river geographically speaking, but it's a lot more turbulent than Munsee or Brandewitz, with rapids in some areas that will not hesitate to knock you down. Schwassbergians really love to paddle around in it though, so I guess it's not so bad.
Rosenkranz Desert is the one and only desert (or prairie area, for that matter) in the Ulmich Region. In real life, Germany doesn't have any deserts - at least not truly, but south of Berlin (or Zergen, in this case) lies a pocket of pseudo-desert area referred to as the Lieberoser Desert. Rosenkranz is based on that pocket, though a lot drier. While not a sand dune type of desert, it's an area more similar to a desertified prairie land.
Norwuste Range is Ulmich's third tallest range. There's not much to write home about other than it being much tamer than Kitzberg or Stahlgrenze. Not to mention drier.
The Kitzberg Mountain Range is Ulmich's second tallest range altogether, and home to the second tallest peak in Ulmich: Mt. Kleinkrieg. The peak's name, meaning "little war," is well deserved, considering how dangerous it can really be to climb. While not as tall as Augureich, it's imposing on its own. Climbers, please perform your due diligence.
The Stahlgrenze Mountains are Ulmich's tallest range, housing Mt. Augureich, the region's highest summit. If Kleinkrieg's a freakshow, then wait till you see Augureich. The thing's surrounded by a nonstop blizzard, and if that wasn't bad enough, it also happens to be an active volcano. You see, unlike Kleinkrieg, there is NO climbing Augureich. Should you ever decide to ignore my warnings and climb the glorified death rock anyway, here's to hoping the monks in the town can give you a blessing or two before you depart. Happy days!
I've been working at this for two hours at the VERY least so I'm gonna tap out now. But if you're seeing this, thanks for sticking around! I bringeth upon thee a star sticker ⭐
