"Er-.. Alright.

Forte had looked outside her window early the next morning after talking to Dirasu, happy to see the sun shining high in the sky. She grinned to herself, stripping off her pj's and sliding into a more casual outfit. As she finished tying up her boot she stopped herself, wondering if it would be more practical to already be wearing her swimsuit under her clothing. After another half hour or so of finding the damn thing, she was now ready again. A little uncomfortable in such revealing clothing, but Forte quickly brushed the thought away. They would be underwater anyway.

She opened the door, letting the Spring breeze hit her face. Remembering that he had mentioned meeting her at the castle she disregarded the information. Exploring the forests would be more fun for her anyway. Making her way to the clearing, she stopped and took in the surroundings, breathing in the fresh smell. Being so used to an area and having to learn it all over again was a little strange to her but fun in the same sense.

i was looking for tutorials and patterns and stuff for it and i stumbled across the cosplay list of someone in our like main original sacramento area homestuck cosplayers and

she listed the cosplay i've gotten really excited to do as first on her works in progress and i don't know if that means it's like close to finished or just a priority or if the list order doesn't matter at all or what

but

but now i am SO SCARED AND MAD THAT SHE MIGHT END UP DOING IT AT THE SAME CON????? I DON'T

i have SO MUCH INSECURITY about my cosplays because they are not exactly good because i don't have the MONEY to make them good or too much in the way of sewing skills like i've got a knack for it but never the materials but i still try and end up more often than not doing like humanstucks or casual character-inspired cosplays or whatever (like my audrey hepburn kanaya and dapper rose) but for sacanime winter i'm REALLY TRYING and digging for the cheapest decent wigs i can and all this stuff so like

ugh ugh ugh see i haven't ever seen anyone else do this cosplay so it'd be cool to be, you know, like i guess noticeable in that way where--where the novelty of your outfit makes any missing bits or flaws a little more okay? because you're doing something rare?

but if i put it together the best i can and then i go and there's someone in the same cosplay who has FAR more resources than me and is generally more outgoing and therefore popular

i will claw my face off i will die i have a stupidly massive issue with wanting to be part of the general group of, you know, PEOPLE AT A GIVEN CON COSPLAYING HOMESTUCK and people all know each other or find it easy to GET to know each other and they have the time and resources to have good accurate cosplays so then when things happen like

like when i'm my not-canon-but-canon-inspired kanaya costume (based on her black and white dress) and i've thought a lot about the styling and stuff and i feel like.... my hanging around the homestuck group with a big shawl in kanaya's color

would make it obvious that i'm a human kanaya

and then another, far more canon kanaya asks who i'm supposed to be as if it's weird that i'm hanging around the homestuck group

fdjadljdajdsljaldslasjfla i KNOW i could have done more to make it clear but that still is really bothersome!

or when i'm in vriska's canon outfit and also carrying around a giant 8 ball but don't have a wig or horns and don't get recognized as vriska

ugh it's just really ass and makes the day into a constant reminder of how other people have more money to do fun cool things than me because lol lol i can't afford wigs and contacts and stuff

but that should get better for sacanime winter!! i have a vriska wig and scri is making my horns, and the awesomehouse group just basically has a massive communal thing of gray PAX, and i'm literally not asking for anything for christmas other than stuff like contacts and fabric and cash so i just