#uggggghhhhh!!!!

Finally, your father had sat you down and quietly asked if you would be interested in apprenticing under an experienced seer. You quickly nodded, as excited as you’d ever been, until you found out that you would have to travel to this teacher, would have to stay with her for some time.

You and Ravi had never spent more than a day or two apart, and the thought of being away from him for months made you feel almost sick.

When you told him, later, you could sense that he had much the same reaction, but he quickly masked it with an excited grin, his eyes lighting up. You then told him that you weren’t sure about going, weren’t sure about leaving home for so long.

(About leaving him, went unsaid, though you both knew that’s what you truly meant.)

His face instantly fell, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders, his voice insistent.

“No, Sol, you have to do it…it’ll be just what you need, you’ll learn to better control your visions, you…you won’t have to fear them anymore. Home will still be here when you get back.”

And that was that. Your brother always knew just the right thing to say, and within a week your bag was packed and you were saying your goodbyes.

When Ravi pulled you in for a hug, he squeezed you even tighter than normal, as though he was trying to give you a hug that would last the four months you would be away. The shaky exhale he let out as he finally let you go nearly had you changing your mind, but then you saw his face, ever reassuring, and you knew that there was no turning back.

(Sometimes you wish you had just stayed. A lifetime of draining, murky visions might’ve been been better than what you had now.)

Your mentor was old, and blind, and just a little bit scary. The first time you met, she grabbed you by your arms, staring into your eyes with her own, milky and unseeing, for much too long. Finally, she released you from her surprisingly strong grip, and nodded, muttering to herself as she turned away. You stood, awkwardly, in her little hut on a small island miles and miles away from home, until she turned back to you, jabbing a finger in the general direction of your chest.

“Before I teach you anything, you must make me a promise. A vow. Solemn and true, and not to be gone back on unless you wish to suffer the consequences. Can you do that, child?”

Not quite knowing what you were getting yourself into, you nodded slowly, before realizing your error and murmuring a quiet “yes.”

“Take my hand,” She commanded, uncurling her hand between you both. You took it, surprised by how hot it was, and something sharp pricked at your palm; you could just barely feel a bit of blood trickle out before she tightened her hold on your hand.

(Something rather sensible yelled at the back of your head for you to pull away, for you to leave, for you to go and find a mentor that didn’t start your lessons with a blood oath of all things.

But you trusted your father not to send you to someone who would harm you, who would make you do anything terrible, so you ignored that voice, and stayed where you were.

Foolish child, you think now.)

“Do you swear to me, Soleil, daughter of Dalia and Rasmus, child of the Tidelord, that you will never use your Sight for personal gain? That, no matter what you may see, you will not attempt to change fate, simply to save yourself?”

(Such a strange request, and yet, you thought little of it at the time.)

There was only the slightest of hesitation before you squeezed her hand back, your voice steady as you spoke.

“I do, I swear it, no matter what.”

The air seemed to grow heavier as the words left your mouth, thick with something, and you would swear that the old seer’s form seemed to shimmer slightly, before the moment was gone and she released your hand, nodding.

“Then let’s get to work, you have much to learn.”

Your lessons went faster than you expected, and they worked, helping you more than you ever could have hoped. The various techniques that the old seer taught you to control your visions paled in comparison, though, to when she finally showed you how to use a scrying pool.

Where once the things you saw were shrouded in darkness, with blurry faces and muffled voices, and only the occasional clear vision, the scrying pool made everything crystal clear.

“Not all seers need one of these, but the way your Sight works, I knew straight away that this would work.” The old dragon told you, seeming almost cocky that she’d known just what you would need.

Two weeks before you were scheduled to go home, the worst vision you’ve ever had came upon you. Idly tracing your finger along the surface of the pool, you had been waiting, had felt the incredibly subtle shift within yourself that meant something was coming.

You could’ve never prepared yourself for what you would see, could’ve never even thought that you would need to.

(Ravi, looking angrier than you’ve ever seen him, and your body, lifeless at his feet. Voices, screaming in the background, desperate and anguished and angry, and gods, how could this ever happen?)

The vision faded away as quickly as it came, and near instantly you fell to your knees, tears pulling at your eyes, your chest tight and your lungs refusing to work.

Suddenly, the old seer was in front of you, hands coming up to your cheeks, not gently.

“Remember your vow, child. You mustn’t go trying to change the future now that you’ve seen what might happen. That path will only lead to darkness, and it will never end, your soul twisting and shriveling as you always find just how to evade the inevitable. You cannot play with fate, girl, cannot run away from Death, and I refuse to of taught someone that goes and uses their powers for foolish purposes.”

“But…Ravi, he-”

Her hands squeezed tighter, then, and as your tears dripped down your face, you could almost swear you heard a sizzle as they hit her fingers.

“No, no excuses. You made me a promise, remember that,” She snarled, milky white eyes and a scowl swimming in your watery view. “Your vision may or may not come true, but breaking your promise to me will certainly lead to your death. Do you understand me, girl?”

Just barely swallowing down the bile burning at the back of your throat, you nodded, the “yes” you gave her little more than a whimper.

Two weeks later, you return home. You bury that vision deep, and decide that, if it even comes true, it can’t be any time soon. Because the moment your brother sees you again for the first time in months, he hugs you so hard he lifts you off of your feet, and you hug him back just as fiercely.

How could someone so gentle, who loves you so much do such a thing to you? It’s impossible you decide, what you saw must’ve been something akin to a terrible nightmare, and so you’ll forget about it, as best you can.

(All of your other visions have come true, a part of you whispers in your darker moments.

But this is different, this is Ravi, and he would never, a more optimistic part of you argues, and that’s that.)

But then suddenly it’s two years later and you now know exactly why Ravi would ever do such a thing. Your father was poisoned, has been laying comatose for five months, and you saw it, over a year ago, and you did nothing.

You could see the aftermath, could see that everything, eventually, would be just fine, and so you stayed quiet.

(And yes, that’s partly why, but it’s partly because you’re selfish and afraid, and your mentor never exactly went over the terms of your oath, and you don’t quite know what crosses the line over into self-serving.)

And now your brother is hollow, distraught over the fact that he doesn’t know how to heal your father, and you can see now how easy it would be for his emotions over that to twist into anger towards you, should he find out that you knew all along, that you did nothing to stop it. And you know, if he were to ask, you wouldn’t be able to lie to him, that you’ve never been able to lie to him.

But still, you question, would that anger be enough to drive him to murder? You know your brother, your twin, your other half, and even knowing how furious he might become, you still can’t see him doing anything but saying some harsh, well-deserved words, or perhaps refusing to talk to you at all.

And that would hurt, that would hurt more than almost anything, but you still can’t see him hurting you physically.

That unknown is what frightens you the most, not knowing what’s going to happen to drive your brother to such an extreme. There are very few unknowns in your life, and this one might be the scariest one you’ve ever encountered.

You contemplate just doing it yourself, completely taking Ravi out of the equation, because he doesn’t deserve to have that on his hands, and you can’t bear to think of him having to live with your blood on his hands.

In the end, though, you’re as afraid of death as you’ve always been, and so you decide to simply wait, and you hope that perhaps, just this once, your Sight will be wrong.

-

this is literally the worst thing I’ve written in a while but I don’t care!!! it’s so vague and not at all what I wanted it to be, but I needed to have this info out there for future things to make sense. if anyone has any questions please ask, and if they’re not spoilers I’ll totally answer them, because I need to yell more about this sad child!

some things that didn’t make it into the story:

Soleil went back to her mentor’s hut, a few months before Rasmus was poisoned, so that she could ask her some Important questions. the hut was gone, as though it’d never been there at all.

Between Ravi being practically inconsolable and Mira (who is also Soleil’s mate) being busy being Mad at Thain, Soleil has been even lonlier than usual and I just want to give her a hug. She’s been alone with all of her thoughts and her secrets and it’s Not Great.

That mysterious old seer will be seen again in the future.

There are a few select dragons that are basically invisible to Soleil; she never sees them in her visions, nor some of the things that they might do. Mira is one of these dragons; Thain is another. ;) The only reason that she saw her father being poisoned is because of Kepi’s involvement.

just one or two more interludes before we get back to the main story! I have Plans to hopefully have the last part of Shifting Winds (or at least the second to last) posted on my birthday, which is on the 27th, so fingers crossed that I can make that happen.