#uchiyin

As the final note resounded in the hall, his raised hand came back down to rest gently once more on to the resplendent keys. Stroking them lightly, he caressed the keys as a mother would her child. He let out the breath hiding in the back of his throat, the tension in his shoulders melting away. Droplets of sweat, from the exertion of playing, trickled down the back of his neck, but were hidden by his hair. The floor lights located on the stage illuminated the front. They glistened off the solo pianist’s striking silver hair, giving him an ethereal effect.

Chairs creaked as people surged up to give the musicians a standing ovation which snapped him out of his reverie. For the brief few seconds when Yakov had conducted the musicians through the final chords, he had allowed himself to revel in the music but the acclamation brought him back. As he stood up from the bench and backed away from the piano, his genuine smile melted away now that he was no longer playing. Stepping away from the piano almost felt as if he was stepping away from his own identity, ripping out the part of him that made him. Even before acknowledging the audience, he faced the orchestra, bowing to them. Though he was the focus of the performance, he knew the other musicians were just as important, if not more than he was. A soft chuckle slipped through his lips when Yakov brusquely grabbed his hand to shake it. Even after he had spent years around Yakov, learning from him, working with him, Yakov had never quite warmed up to him, at least visibly.

Cheekily, he threw an arm around Yakov, dragging him closer to the audience. At the front of the stage, he let Yakov go, allowing the conductor to do his bow alongside his orchestra. As a guest pianist he waited till his name was called out by the MC before bowing.

“And our brilliant guest pianist, we the Russian National Orchestra would like to applaud and thank Viktor Nikiforov for his absolutely stunning performance of Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto.”

Bending at the waist, Viktor’s hands rested on his thighs, but as he bent they slid to his knees lightly gripping the fabric there. He kept his head down, easily remembering Mme. Baranovskaya’s instructions to his ten-year old self.

“Viktor, мой ребенок, remember when you acknowledge your audience, do not look back up at them when bowing.” She had gracefully crossed her arms while narrowed eyes stared balefully down at Viktor, “your music must demand the applause not your begging.”

He smiled to himself, before straightening up and aimed his smile at the young girl who handed him a gorgeous bouquet of roses. Winking at her, he pulled one of them out before crouching to her level and handing the rose to her with a small smile on his face. Nodding once more towards the audience, he adroitly walked off the stage to the wings.

For a few moments while the rest of the orchestra completed their bows and thank you’s—the concertmaster bowing on behalf of the violins as well as the rest of the orchestra after the conductor—he leaned against the wall. Sighing to himself his smile disappeared from his face while his shoulders slumped in exhaustion. Hearing his name being called, he saw his friend and principal violoncellist, Christophe Giacometti. Turning to face him, Viktor smiled brightly, turning everything on. “Chris! So what did you think of my performance?

He smiled cheerfully as Chris spoke, and when more people came along to compliment his playing, Viktor acted his part well. Some days were easier for him to handle, but usually after a performance he found that being around loads of people was stressful. However, the longer he stood there, the more he could feel the congested feeling in his chest spread. He could feel the pain spreading through his body, almost bringing him to his knees. It was only due to sheer will and determination that he remained upright, struggling to maintain his cheerful disposition.

As he spoke to the group of people, Viktor slowly layered the disguises onto his body, hiding his pain first, then the sadness, the discomfort, the anxiety. But the clincher was the final mask of happiness and cheer that hid everything completely, making him seem so much more alive.

As if someone heard his silent prayer, he was able to escape the group when Yakov exited the stage, quickly excusing himself to speak to the conductor. When speaking to Yakov, he had no choice but to prepare himself for everything, since Viktor had never really been able to hide anything from him. Nodding his head in respect to his mentor, Viktor smiled as wide as he could, already feeling the exhaustion covering his body like a blanket. “Director Yakov! I did fantastic tonight didn’t I? Think I get a break from tomorrow’s practice then?” He gave a practiced, and well-used puppy dog look at his friend and teacher.

Yakov only sighed at Viktor’s hopeful face before grudgingly nodding, “Your performance was as extravagant as usual Vitya.” Yakov’s voice remained in its gruff tonality, but the slightest hint of pride could be heard in its inflection. Yakov had been guiding Viktor since before he could remember, and each gruff “decent work Vitya” was enough for Viktor to feel a swell in his heart. But now even that wasn’t enough to satisfy his discontent, nor his pain. For each performance that occurred, it felt as if Viktor was losing more of himself. He always strived to surprise the audience, yet no matter how much he tried, he could only change the music, or himself so much.

Tilting the screen up, he positioned the laptop more securely onto his lap before increasing the volume. Sitting back, he hugged the pillow to his chest as the sounds of the piano trickled into the room. His eyes began to flutter close as he lost himself in the beauty of Beethoven’s composition, but he forced himself to remain alert.

The Emperor of the piano, of music, was performing and Yuuri would never miss that. Each keystroke felt like an attack to his heart, with every brief moment of serenity punctuated by the contrasting power segments. To him, it felt as if he was watching a god on stage.

There was nothing more that could better describe what Viktor Nikiforov was to Yuuri. But he felt something different in this performance. At first he wrote it off as a poor video but the more he listened the more he realized he wasn’t wrong. As the piano reached the swell of the piece Yuuri heard the almost hollow playing that had been hidden throughout the performance. It felt empty and cold even if the piece was a powerful one.

Now that he knew it was there Yuuri could almost feel the palpable pain Viktor was trying to mask in his playing. Groaning he paused the video, sighing to himself as the room became unexpectedly silent. Glancing around Yuuri felt himself blush as he realized how much Viktor had left an impression on him. The number of posters of Viktor’s performances decorating his room was a tad ridiculous but looking at them was sometimes the only thing that kept him from quitting.

As his alarm went off Yuuri grudgingly got off the bed and grabbed his bag and phone. Leaving his room he called out a goodbye to his rambunctious roommate. Slipping earphones on, Yuuri ignored the people around him while he walked to his practice room. He had gotten used to seeing people whispering and pointing at him. He had earned their judgement after all.

As he approached the hallway leading into practice room, Yuuri’s fingers were tangled tightly into the straps on his bag. In front of the room, Yuuri saw that his childhood friend was standing there with a gentle smile. Her three daughters were sitting against the door chattering to each other while holding their mother’s phone. When she saw Yuuri walking towards her, Yuuko raised her hand and waved at him.

“Yuu-kun! Your call worried me you know, what did you want to show me?” Her eyes scanned Yuuri from head to toe, before she continued speaking, “you haven’t changed a bit have you Yuu-kun?”

He knew that was her just being nice since Yuuri had gained a lot of weight since he’d last seen her. But still, Yuuri only smiled before unlocking the door with his keycard. Beckoning the group inside, Yuuri dropped his bag onto the floor. In the centre of the room was his pride and joy: a gorgeous black grand piano. It had been a gift from his old music teacher when he’d first come to learn at the conservatory.

Running a gentle hand over the lid before he went around to the side and sat down on the bench. As his fingers brushed the keys, Yuuri took a deep breath before pressing the C key. The note played through the room, attracting all of their attention to the piano.

“I wanted to show you something I’ve been working on.” He smiled softly at her before letting his fingers fly. Music familiar to everyone in the room poured out of the piano filling it with a calm anxiousness. Juxtaposed the feeling may have been, yet the flighty but flowing music fit the feeling.

Yuuko’s eyes remained glued to Yuuri as his body bent in submission to the music he played. It almost felt as if the piano played music through Yuuri’s body for the emotion she could feel through each pressed key was unlike any rendition she’d heard. Yet as she listened, she noticed the musicality differed from the original piece, with changes to the piece she’d only heard once before.

But what was the most striking to her was how Yuuri’s face changed as he played, his body flowed along with the music, but his face remained determined throughout the whole piece. Yet there was a growing melancholy that she hadn’t seen when she’d last seen this piece performed.

Viktor Nikiforov might have been Yuuri and Yuuko’s original inspiration but he had not played this piece as beautifully as Yuuri was right now. Yuuri had truly made it his own. But even then she could see the Viktor they adored shining through each movement of Yuuri’s fingers.

To her left, the triplets seemed just as enthralled as Yuuko was, but their attention seemed to be split between the phone in front of them and the true performance.

It was only the next morning that Yuuko questioned their actions when her husband woke her up shouting that the video of Yuuri playing Viktor Nikiforov’s rendition of Saint-Saens’ Aquarium had reached two million views.

The girls were grounded, but when she saw one of the comments on her video, their punishment was decreased by two weeks.