#uchihabae

It’s 31 days or 31 days, you can take or, well, you can take it. No is not an option, remember?

I see you’re having trouble understanding. In the spirit of the alliance, allow me to be more accommodating for you.

Much like his sibling, patience was not something Madara had in abundance for most things. And like most things for Madara, his brother was the exception. He had forced himself to wait for this moment, more than a little worried Izuna may give up speaking to him at all…

So his first reaction was relief, an almost audible sigh. Seated on his rather cluttered bed, sorting through papers and scrolls, mostly succeeding in making a larger mess. The room lit but an almost obnoxious amount of candles. Despite the others demeanor, Madara stayed relaxed. A small smile when he nods, voice soft.

Winter faded to spring, sparse resources replaced by the new season, all too quickly overtaken by the heat of the summer. Seasons changed. Time passed. And yet, for the Uchiha much had not changed at all. The struggle of winter dragged on, as lands were lost to the clans to the west. Essential hunting grounds overtaken by those that had allied together. Clans whose abilities had been the stuff of stories, used to scare young  Uchiha children into behaving in the past. Shinobi who controlled minds, and shadows, who grew to sizes beyond comprehension. And now these nightmare monsters were real, ganging up against them. Enough to strike an unease in even the most seasoned of their fighters. Madara knew then, as he’d feared for quite some time, their current tactics would not sustain them through another cold season. Their numbers dwindling in the growing attacks, slim resources used up even as summer showed itself. Golden afternoons and warm weather not enough of a trade off when bellies were empty and morale was low.

It was a desperate time. Choices made in secret. Madara did not know if his clan would follow in the direction he was leading. But there was no where else for them to turn. 

It was a particularly fine evening when the meeting was called. Madara had called back what shinobi he could from fighting, wanting his announcement to be heard by as many as possible. He’d let no one, not even his brother in on his plan for saving the clan from what he saw as an inevitable extinction. The other clans wanted them gone....unless. One of them didn’t. Unless they had the help of a larger clan, with more influence and more resources.

Unless he went back on almost every Uchiha tradition and grudge in their collective memory and sided them with the Senju.

The speech he gave was one of pleading logic, blunt explanations of a move that seemed anything but. A small truce, to offer up what land they had and join together against an allegiance of clans that would surely come against the Senju once the Uchiha were gone...the hostility in the air was nearly as loud as the cries of disdain, arguments rising and answered by their leader with repeated mantra-

This is the only way we survive. This is the only way we survive. This was the  only way...

For one point, eels cannot talk. And I do, therefore I am not an eel. For another point, you cannot claim yourself as beautiful if you are truly humble. Therefore you are not humble, and inversely not beautiful. And for a third point, how, exactly, does hair look like an eel?

You are part eel. An eel trying to hide what they are, so it speaks and tries to tell people it is not an eel.

It is not confirmed. What is the point of arguing a valid and true point to a person who’s head is so filled with fallacies? How can you live on like this, believing untrue facts? How sad, you’ve even deluded yourself into believing you are not ugly and that I am apparently an eel. Tell me, what strange inverted world do you live in to believe in these blatantly false facts.

Sounds like something an eel would say, were it capable of speech.

I do believe you said that you didn’t know what “ugly” was. That in mind, that adequately nullifies all of your malicious claims. Given that you do not know what ugly is, you cannot judge whether a person is ugly or not. Because you simply don’t know.

That’s true, I did not, at least not until your expertise and general existence made it quite clear what Ugly was and is. Thank you for that, I suppose?

I can contest to being an eel. I don’t produce electricity, eels do. Additionally, you are slimy when you are drenched in water, are you not? Does that make you an eel then? That would make far more sense, given that you are more in tune with water-type things than me. You’re ugly and have relations with water, eels are ugly and have relations with water. I’m seeing the similarities already.

Not all eels do, and I have never been slimy in my life.

I can, in fact, deny these accusations. As you can see, I have arms and legs. Both things eels don’t have. Case rested. And you are right to assume I am an expert on noticing specimens of the ugly nature. It doesn’t take close study to tell that you are a Specimen of Ugly Nature. Tell me, what’s life like as an eternally unattractive person? I’ve never really experienced that, so I wouldn’t know.

Eels are, however, slimy. Can you deny that?