#u20

───────── ⋆⋅꒰ა☆໒꒱ ⋆⋅ ────────

“I don’t want the children of another man to have the eyes of the girl I wont forget.”

───────── ⋆⋅꒰ა☆໒꒱ ⋆⋅ ────────

CW: none! I don’t think so?

“Lets break up.” A faint whistle in the background blew as you just stared at him. A giggle leaves your throat. This is a joke. This has to be a joke… right?

But the jokes not funny anymore as those words lingered for far more than a minute with nothing but silence interrupting those heavyweighted words. “I didn’t know you were so good at joking around, Rin!” You nudge his shoulder with a smile, playing his words off as a joke.

He just stares at you. And then back towards the game of the little children playing soccer. “Anyways, like I was saying—” Rin cuts you off.

“I’m not joking.” Surely, he must’ve been joking, right? Theres no way he called you over here just to break up with you.

“Are you being serious?” You ask, staring up at him for the first time since he ushered those three words. It felt like a thousand cement bricks suffocating your body with those three damn words. A light-hearted laugh leaves your mouth once again as he doesn’t reply to your question. “Why?” You question him once more.

Maybe you were in denial. Or maybe he’s just playing an April Fool’s joke on you! But it’s November— November 19th— too late for an April Fool’s joke.

“Because I don’t need you.” He looks back at you, almost like hes seeking a reaction from you but you only smile at him. “And I promised myself to only focus on football, nothing else.” Rin hears you humming as if you were ignoring his words.

“Y/N, I’m not joking. Don’t contact me again.” He gets up from the wooden bench, grabbing his equipment from his earlier practice. What a cruel thing to say.

“You’re so cruel, Rin.” You say, once again with that smile on your face. He turned around to look at you once more; he never understood how you could smile so much, even in the toughest situations but thats what he liked about you. Yet, he kept his pace as he turned his head forward, walking away from you like nothing happened.

The world spun. It felt like colors were all merging together as you pulled your phone out of your pocket, just to be met with a lockscreen of you and Rin. He wore a light smile with eyes closed as you kissed his cheek. Just then could you let your smile falter as you dialed somebody’s number.

—

Your mom was hysterical. She had rushed home from work just to console you after hearing the news of your breakup with Rin. “How could he even say that to you!?” She reprimanded the air, sufficing as a replacement of the younger Itoshi.

“Mom.. It’s okay. Seriously!” Another smile. “He just said he wanted to focus on his football career and thats alright.” A big sigh could be heard as your mom put a hand to her waist for the nth time in the past hour. “But sweetie, a man should never say that to you! Do you really think its acceptable for him to say you were basically useless.” You just laugh it off before faking a yawn.

“I’m getting tired so I’m gonna head to bed, k?” She just nods and lets out another exasperated sigh. It’s not like she isn’t sad that Rin Itoshi isn’t your boyfriend anymore, she was actually quite fond of him. He would often help around the house and would always care for you when you caught sick. She was just so angry for you— as her child— to hear that a man would say something so ruthless to you.

—

The next day, you made sure to wake up extra early. You were determined to take Rin Itoshi out on a date today. Of course you didn’t tell your mom because you knew she would be highly opposed to it. Logically, that man literally just broke up with you. But you were never one to give up. You even formed a plan to make sure it worked! And even if it didnt… Well, you would suck up the consequences later, then.

Before leaving the house, you take a moment to get ready. You want to look your best — not for anyone else, but for yourself. You put on that cute sundress you love, the one with light, airy fabric that makes you feel a little more confident. You curl your hair just a bit, letting loose soft waves that frame your face nicely.

You apply a touch of light makeup — a bit of blush to give your cheeks some color, a swipe of gloss that makes your lips look fresh and natural. You want to feel good, to carry a little brightness with you as you step out the door. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you take a deep breath. Okay. You’re ready.

You step out into the quiet street, heart pounding in your chest. The store isn’t far, but the morning air feels fresh and a little cool, giving you a moment to steady yourself before you go in. When you finally push open the door and step inside, the familiar scent of baked goods and fresh produce hits you. The store is quiet, just a few other early risers browsing the shelves. You walk slowly, your eyes scanning the aisles with purpose.

First, you head to the section where they keep the instant foods. You already know exactly what you’re looking for — a box of that warm, comforting Ochazuke you know Rin loves. You find it easily, nestled between other Japanese snacks. You pick up a box, feeling its weight in your hand, and look at the packaging — simple, homey, with that familiar green tea and rice illustration.

You pause, holding it for a moment, imagining Rin’s face when he sees it. You tuck it into your basket, then move on.

Next, you head to the manga section. It’s a small, neat display, with rows of colorful covers. You scan the titles, your eyes catching on one of his favorites. It’s a series you’ve seen him read before, always with a little smile on his face. You take your time, flipping through the pages, making sure it’s the right volume.

Then, with a deep breath, you head to the counter and rent it, feeling a little nervous as the clerk scans it and hands it over. You clutch it tightly, like holding onto a lifeline.

The walk to his house feels slower, almost deliberate. Every step is a reminder of what you’re doing — trying to reach out, trying to hold onto something you’re afraid is slipping away. Your mind races with thoughts, but you focus on the small act of kindness you’re about to give him.

When you finally arrive at Rin’s house, nerves tighten in your chest again. You ring the doorbell, and his mom answers with that warm, familiar smile. “Hello Y/N!” You try to keep your expression steady with a smile.

“Hi, Mrs.Itoshi. Is Rin home? I wanted to see him.”

Her smile stays, but a flicker of something else crosses her face — a hint of hesitation. She looks at you softly, then asks quietly, “Did he tell you anything about today?”

Your heart sinks. “No, he didn’t mention anything,” you reply, trying to keep your voice even.

For a moment, her smile falters just a little, and she looks down before speaking again. “He just left to a football camp today… it’s called Project Bluelock.”

You blink, caught off guard. “Oh, really? Did he—”

She hesitates again, then looks at you with a gentle but sad expression. “Did he ever tell you he was leaving for that?”

You blink in surprise. “No, he never said a word.”

Her face softened, but her eyes revealed something more — a quiet understanding. She looked away for a moment, then sighed. “I apologize on his behalf, sweetheart. It must’ve just slipped his mind!” She waves her hand around with a soft laugh to distract you.

It seemed like he didn’t mention anything about the breakup to his mother as her doltish behavior was apparent; yet her words felt like a gut-wrenching punch to your body. Maybe this is why he wanted to break up with you, so you didn’t have to worry, right? Stomach twisted in pain and confusion, but you kept your composure. “How long do you think he’ll be gone?” you asked softly.

She looked uncertain, fidgeting as she thought. “It could last four years, or maybe less. It’s hard to say when he’ll come back.” Well, that just crushed your guesses.

You nodded slowly, then bowed your head slightly, forcing another strained smiled, it was basically your signature from now on. “Ah, okay. Thank you Mrs.Itoshi! Have a nice evening.”

Without waiting for more, you turned and walked away from his house, feeling the heavy weight of it all settle in. He really left — not just yesterday, but for good, it seemed. And no matter how much you hoped, the truth was sinking in like a hook: he truly did leave you behind.

—

The soft glow of the evening sun seeped through the curtains as you stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the delicate necklace around your neck. It had been more than a couple of months since Rin’s absence had left you in that dark, quiet hole—months of feeling lost, trying to hold yourself together.

But now, finally, you were beginning to crawl out of it, taking tentative steps back into the world of normalcy. You’d been going on dates with other men, trying to remind yourself that life still moved forward, even if a part of you still felt broken.

And among all those attempts, one man named Oliver Aiku had caught your attention more than the others—his easy charm, genuine kindness, and the way he made you feel like you mattered.

Tonight was your second date with him. You weren’t sure if it was nerves or hope, but deep down, you knew this was different. Something about Oliver made you forget the ache in your chest, even if just for a little while.

You took a deep breath and stepped out of your house, locking the door behind you. The city buzzed quietly around you, but your mind was still tangled in memories you couldn’t quite shake.

Now, as you headed to the restaurant, that familiar mix of excitement and anxiety settled in your chest. You’d been doing your best to move on, but part of you still carried the weight of the past.

The restaurant was elegant, with soft jazz music floating through the air and candlelight flickering on every table. You were led to a quiet corner where a man was already waiting, his eyes catching yours with a gentle warmth. Oliver Aiku. A professional football player, a shining star in Japan’s U-20 team, and someone who seemed to understand how to make a girl feel special without even trying.

He stood as you approached, offering a charming smile and a hand that you took hesitantly. His grip was firm but kind, and as you both sat down, he kept your hand in his, his thumb softly tracing circles on your palm as he ordered for you.

The dinner was slow, filled with easy conversation, laughter, and that rare feeling of being truly seen—really seen.

Oliver was romantic in a way that made your cheeks flush, spoiling you with small gestures—flower petals on the table, whispered compliments, a gentle touch on your shoulder. It was comforting, the kind of comfort you hadn’t realized you needed.

As the night deepened and the candles burned lower, he leaned in slightly, his voice lowering to a more serious tone.

“I’ve got a big match coming up,” he said softly, eyes shining with anticipation. “Against a team called Bluelock. It’s in a couple of months—probably right around when I’ll be at my busiest. I’ve been training hard for it, and honestly, I want to make it special. He paused.

“I’d love to invite you to come watch, maybe even see the game in person if you’re interested.” He shot you a wink.

You blinked, caught off guard by how casual yet meaningful the offer sounded. A few months still felt like a long wait, but the way he spoke about it made it feel like it was right around the corner. Your stomach tightened at the mention of Bluelock. You recognized the name immediately—Rin Itoshi. The thought hit you like a sudden gust of cold wind. You froze for a moment, feeling the familiar ache rise again, but you quickly masked it with a small, polite smile, nodding politely. No, you wouldn’t let him see how much that name still haunted you.

Oliver kept talking, rambling about tactics and players, the passion in his voice making your mind drift elsewhere. You found yourself staring at the flickering candle flame, images of Rin’s face flashing behind your eyes. The way he’d always hold you in his arms, how he always called everybody ‘lukewarm,’ and even when he said those three damned words to you. But the memories blurred together, tangled with the present, and suddenly, you felt distant, disconnecting from the romantic man sitting infront of you, at dinner.

“Are you okay?” Oliver’s voice broke through your reverie, gentle but concerned. You blinked, realizing you’d been silent too long. You offered a small, reassuring smile. “Nothing’s wrong,” you said softly. “Just… thinking.”

He studied you for a moment, then smiled again, understanding without pressing further. You finished your meal, the night winding down slowly, the world outside fading into a quiet hum. When the time came for him to drive you home, he stood, holding out his hand. You took it, feeling the warmth of his touch as he helped you into his sleek, luxurious car.

On the drive back, he pulled you close, giving you a quick hug and a wink before kissing the top of your hands. “Can’t wait to see you at the game,” he said softly, his voice tinged with excitement. “I really want you to be there. It would mean a lot.” You nodded, feeling the warmth of his presence, but inside, the ghost of Rin still lingered, stubborn and heavy.

As the city lights blurred past the window, you wondered how long you could keep pretending you were okay—how long you could keep hiding the ache that never quite faded. Because some memories, some names, just refused to let go, no matter how much time passed. And as you stared at the passing streets, you couldn’t help but think about that game. Maybe it was a sign? About how it was just a few months away, and how, somehow, it felt like it was already shaping your future—whether you liked it or not.

—

The stadium was alive, but somehow, it felt distant—like a dream you didn’t quite want to wake up from. You step through the gates, and your eyes are immediately drawn to the massive, life-sized cardboard cutouts lining the entrance.

All the U20 Japan players, frozen in mid-action, their faces bright and confident. But the one that catches your eye, the one that makes your heart skip a beat, is Oliver Aiku. His calm smile looks so real, so familiar—like he’s right there, waiting for you.

You pause for a moment, your gaze lingering on his figure. It’s funny, isn’t it? How the one who invited you here is also the reason you’re trembling inside. You look past the cutouts, past the crowds, trying to steady your breathing.

It’s been over a year since Rin Itoshi shattered whatever hope you had left. And yet, somehow, you’re back here—drawn in by the game, by the memories, by the ache of something unfinished.

You make your way to get snacks—just a soda and some popcorn—trying to drown out the noise of your own thoughts. The stadium begins to fill, the roar of voices and footsteps echoing around you.

Soon, both teams pour out from their tunnels—blazing with energy, fierce and determined.

Then, your eyes catch him—Rin. Tall, focused, his sharp gaze sweeping the crowd. You see him, and for a moment, your breath catches. He turns slightly—just enough—and you swear, for a brief second, he looks directly at you. Maybe it’s just your mind playing tricks, but you catch a flicker of recognition in his eyes.

And just as quickly, he’s gone, replaced by the figure of Aiku. Calm, composed, walking out with that gentle smile. Your eyes meet, and for a heartbeat, everything slows down—like the world is holding its breath. Aiku nods at you, a quiet “hello,” before he steps onto the field with his teammates.

The game began. It’s fierce, relentless—bluelock pushing forward with speed and precision. The tension between the teams is almost tangible, every pass, every shot soaked in anticipation.

You watch, heart pounding, as the score tightens. The air is thick with cheers, groans, and the raw energy of youth and competition.

The whistle blows, marking the end of the match. Bluelock is ahead—just barely—after what feels like the most nerve-wracking game you’ve ever watched.

The stadium begins to empty slowly, a gentle hum of departing fans as your phone buzzes suddenly—

AIKU- Meet me in the lobby when everyone leaves.

You swallow, nodding to yourself, and make your way through the quiet corridors, the emptiness almost surreal after the chaos of the game.

When you reach the lobby, there he is—leaning against the wall, a soft smile on his face that seems to carry a thousand unspoken words.

“I just wanted to see you,” he says softly, stepping closer. His voice is gentle but sincere. Without thinking too much, you find yourself stepping into his space, and he wraps you in a warm, genuine hug.

It’s not just a gesture—it’s a quiet reassurance, a moment of fragile connection.

He holds you for a beat longer than expected, then slowly pulls away, his eyes lingering on yours. He speaks again, quietly, almost like he’s afraid to disturb the moment.

“You looked good out there,” he murmurs, eyeing your flowy dress. “I’m glad you came.”

You want to say something back, but words feel unnecessary. Instead, you just smile, feeling a strange flicker of comfort amid all the chaos.

He hesitates, then finally, he says, “I’ve got to go now. The others are heading to an afterparty. But I wanted to see you. To thank you for coming.”

You watch him leave, your heart a little lighter, even as the echo of Rin’s shadow still lingers. Little did you know, Rin had seen everything—the hug, the exchange, the small, human moments that made your heart ache even more.

Later that night, you’re back at your house, standing in the quiet kitchen. The dishes are cleaned, the silence feels almost thick around you. Your mind is tangled, restless, and then your phone buzzes softly on the table.

You glance at it. Rin’s name. Your stomach tightens—an instinctive pull. You hesitate, then pick it up.

RIN— Meet me at our park.

He was sure you would come, just like a loyal cat that always finds its way home after wandering off out of curiosity. Even when abandoned and left behind, the cat’s love for its home and loyalty made it return, trusting that it was still a place of comfort.

This time, its return was because of its unconditional love, not just curiosity.

It’s late, but something urges you to go. You grab your jacket, step outside, and feel the cool night air. Shadows stretch long across the empty streets, and everything feels slow—like time is holding its breath.

When you arrive, there he is—leaning against the lamppost. His face is softer than you remember, but his eyes are guarded, like he’s been holding something back.

He looks at you, silent for a beat, then speaks quietly.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Rin asks, voice low.

You shake your head. “No.” It’s not like you were obligated to tell him the truth but who cares? Your ex who dumped you, the very ex that you’re still deeply inlove with, is speaking to you again. Maybe you were desperate but love knows no bounds.

He hesitates again, then asks, “What about Aiku?”

You shake your head again, with a small, quiet smile. You never really had feelings for Aiku—he was just someone to distract you. It was just a casual moment, nothing special.

Rin pulls out his phone and shows you a photo—Aiku, sitting between two girls, kissing him. You glance at it without much feeling.

“Who are they?” you ask softly.

Rin’s eyes flicker with something unspoken—regret, maybe. “Just some people from the party,” he says quietly. “I was curious, that’s all.”

He takes a breath, then, more straightforward than usual, says, “I’m sorry.” His voice is steady but unsure, like he’s still learning how to say it.

“For walking away. For how I treated you. I was scared—I guess I didn’t want to hurt you, or lose you…” He pauses, searching for your eyes. “In the end, I probably still did but-“

He cuts himself off. "..When I got invited to Bluelock, I thought I wouldn’t be enough to provide time for you. I thought it was better to leave.”

He looks down, then back up, a little awkward but sincere. “That’s stupid.” You reply with a smile as he looks up at you, the tip of his ears red from embarrassment. What a sweet sight.

His words hang in the cool air for a moment. Then he adds softly, “I never stopped thinking about you.”

You listen, feeling the honesty in his voice—clumsy, maybe, but real. “I just couldn’t stand it when I saw you and Aiku.. the thought that another man could have children with the eyes of the girl I would never forget.” He instinctively cringes at his own words. It was cringey, but it was true so in some sort of way, Rin felt it was validated.

“Not saying that you’d ever have kids with such a lukewarm bastard though…” He looked away, shy. How cute.

Another smile from you, followed by a laugh that Rin could never get tired of. “I forgive you,” you say quietly as you slowly lift a hand to his face. A gentle caress to his cheek as he leans into like its the most natural thing in the world.

Rin nods, a faint, uncertain smile on his face.

Under the quiet glow of the moon, you realize that sometimes love isn’t about perfect words or grand gestures. It’s just about trying—about being brave enough to say what’s true, even if it’s messy.

You stand there for a moment longer, silent but connected. Then, quietly, you turn back toward home, feeling just a little lighter—hope flickering inside, maybe this was the start of something real.

VERSION VI.

a/n: okay I’m baaaack! other versions are in production, please bear with the wait guys, I swear I’m trying 🙏

wc: 0.9k words

tags: @ttheggrimrreaper 💛 this one’s for u bbg sorry for the wait 🫶 Happy Women’s Day y’all 💐

⌢ . main masterlist

FROM THE PROLOGUE:

“Congratulations L/N Y/N! Based on your results, you've earned your place in Blue Lock as the manager of player number…

…22, Jingo Raichi.”

Raising an eyebrow, you were unsure of who the boy on the screens was. Slightly squeezing your eyes, you tried to recall his face somewhere among the 299 boys that were shown and mentioned in a meeting a few weeks ago. Minutes passed by as you searched through your memories, but nothing came to mind. With a simple shrug, you turned around, and made your way to the managers’ room.

“Please let me get someone nice!”-you muttered, holding the new schedules and uniform Anri just gave you.

Imagine being Jingo Raichi’s manager.

I have been summoned

To be very honest with you, I don't think he will... As much as I enjoy angst myself, I can't see him as... a cheater or playboy. However, I can see him as an overprotective, and... a little mean in a relationship. By that I mean : He doesn't control you but he always... Interrogate you... What did you do, where did you go, where have you been etc. He doesn't control but it felt like control. He can be mean when he's jealous, sometimes his words actually stings, though he apologized afterwards, it still hurt sometimes, and he probably didn't mean to since he thought it is normal to say, or maybe he knew it isn't normal to say to you or anyone but he still does subconsciously (he used to hear his dad say that, especially when the conversation is about his mother.).

In conclusion, no he wouldn't cheat, he learn it in a hard way, and he know how broken he'd get if he did or he got cheated on. However he is... borderline toxic :(

Do you think Kaneshiro read about the Death Drive and thought... hmm... what if I make this one of my main character's entire personality??

ALSKFKFK OH MY GOD. OH MY GODSSMFKGM I DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER THAT BUT I SEE IT NOW. NNGH.

RIN IN FLOW STATE IS THE VERY INCARNATION OF THANATOS ACCORDING TO FREUD. AND SHIDO HIS U20 CONTRAST IN A WAY IS THE PLEASURE INSTINCT(EROS)?!

Kskdk IF YOU WANNA GET INTO EXISTENTIALISM PHILOSOPHY, ROLLO MAY GAVE THE CONCEPT OF THE DIAMONIC WHEREIN THE CONTRASTING URGES OF DESTRUCTION AND CREATION ARE WHAT GIVE RISE TO THE MOST FANTASTICAL IDEAS/LITERATURE/ART

I mean we can take it into Rinsagi territory here where destruction (Rin) and Creation (puzzle boy extraordinaire Isagi) collide to form the most breath taking and out of the world plays.