#tywin meta

Love vs. Duty: The Central Conflict in ASOIAF

“Love is the bane of honor, the death of duty.” (AGOT, Jon VIII).

As far back as A Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin has posed the central theme that sits right at the centre of the whole series: love is the bane of honour, the death of duty. We, as readers, are meant to view the decisions of characters through this lens and navigate the complex morality of the series through his binary. Duty or love. Love or duty. We see this battle play out in many character's stories throughout the novels, most prominently Rhaegar picking his love for Lyanna over his duty to his wife and queen, which had devastating consequences for the realm:

Prince Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna and thousands died for it. (ADWD, The Kingbreaker).

On the other hand, we have many examples of when characters pick duty, and their actions directly lead to the death of their loved ones: Robb's choice to marry Jeyne Westerling out of a sense of duty directly leads to his own death and that of his mother, Jon's decision to abandon Ygritte in favour of his Night's Watch brothers is the first stone on the road to her death, and Brienne's choice to fulfil her knightly duty and protect her innocent squire from Lady Stoneheart has just put Jaime Lannister in mortal peril.

Yet in spite of this constant push-and-pull between love vs. duty, GRRM makes it clear in the narrative that we should be reading love as the more noble, transcendent concept that lifts people up, while duty is a man-made construct that is difficult to live by. Jaime himself critiques it thus:

"So many vows...they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. Your life for his. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the laws. It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or the other.” (ACOK, Catelyn VII).

Of course, Jaime's cynicism in this matter is later challenged by Brienne of Tarth's idealism concerning her knightly vows, but his point stands regardless. Honour is a societal ideal consisting of thousands of internal contradictions, just like honour codes in real life societies; everything from medieval chivalry (which emphasised fair treatment to a knight's social equals but did not give a damn about peasants), to bushido practiced by Japanese samurai (which sometimes resulted in ritual suicide to facilitate a restoration of "honour" and the avoidance of shame). In contrast, in A Song of Ice and Fire, love is presented as superior to our societally imposed honour standards. It is transcendent, universal, and even redemptive. Here is Maester Aemon again:

"What is honour compared to a woman's love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms ... or the memory of a brother's smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy." (AGOT, Jon VIII).

The message of the transcendence of love is emphasised firmly in A Game of Thrones, which works to establish the world view of Ned Stark and his family, the central figures of the series. Ned imparts to his children a deep sense of honour based on justice delivered by a ruler who has a duty to his people ("the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword"), and a commitment to the Old Gods. At first glance, Ned's moral code could be seen as a weakness, as it makes him politically naive in King's Landing, as Petyr Baelish even comments:

"You wear your honour like a suit of armour, Stark. You think it keeps you safe, but all it does is weigh you down and make it hard for you to move." (AGOT, Eddard XIII).

However, it also has another effect; creating a close knit family who work well together and inspire loyalty in their vassals. The Starks are presented as a happy and loving family who are ripped apart by the political forces of the series, and it is the desire of many readers to see the reunion of the surviving Stark children once more. Jon, Sansa, Arya, and Bran all ruminate on Ned's principles when they are separated from one another, and although readers would think that it is his honour code that is impressed upon them most keenly, in fact it is his commitment to family:

"When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives." (AGOT, Arya II).

Indeed, Ned himself choses his love for his family twice across his lifetime, trashing his honour in the process. The first is when he makes the promise to Lyanna and (likely) raises Jon as his bastard son, thereby allowing himself to be seen as a man who was unfaithful to his wife. Jaime even goads Catelyn about this during A Clash of Kings. The second time is when Ned concedes to let himself be declared a traitor to save the life of his daughter Sansa who is held in Lannister custody, once again trashing his honour in the process.

Yet, in spite of the fact that by the end of A Game of Thrones Ned's honour is in tatters, after his death the North rallies to avenge his judicial murder at the hands of Joffrey. This, of course, results in the North declaring itself independent from the Seven Kingdoms under Robb Stark, which eventually all unravels after Robb decides to marry Jeyne Westerling in order not to break the societally imposed honour code. After Robb's murder, the Lannister backed Boltons take control of the North. One would think that the Northern bannermen would have had enough of Ned Stark and his legacy given the pain it has brought them, and yet they do not. Instead, they begin plotting against the Boltons and seek to restore a Stark to Winterfell, as shown by Lyanna Mormont's commitment to her traditional liege lords:

"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is Stark." (ADWD, Jon I).

And why is there this great love for the Stark family? It is partly because for thousands of years they have been practicing the model of good governance and leading by example, as remembered by Wylla Manderly:

"A thousand years before the Conquest, a promise was made, and oaths were sworn in the Wolf's Den before the old gods and new. When we were sore beset and friendless, hounded from our homes and in peril of our lives, the wolves took us in and nourished us and protected us against our enemies. The city is built upon the land they gave us. In return we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!" (ADWD, Davos III).

Ned is a leader who is loved by his people, because he offers a model of a just and noble ruler who genuinely cares for his people alongside an apparent commitment to his honour. Even after he is dead and gone, personal loyalty to him and his children drives many of the plots against the Boltons. Indeed, Barbrey Dustin (who is not the biggest fan of the Starks) notes how the treatment of fArya is the main thing that is turning the Northern lords against the Boltons:

"Valiant Ned's precious little girl. Lady Arya's sobs do us more harm than all of Lord Stannis's swords and spears. If the Bastard means to remain Lord of Winterfell, he had best teach his wife to laugh." (ADWD, The Turncloak).

It is therefore not Ned's sense of duty that will see the Starks returned to Winterfell, but most probably the love they inspire in their former vassals. The Great Northern Conspiracies are catalysed not just by hatred of the Boltons, but a genuine love for the Starks. Evidence from the show seems to suggest that the Starks will be returned to Winterfell and, therefore, Ned's worldview will triumph over the Lannister, Bolton and Frey message of death and vengeance.

This conclusion seems entirely at odds with the oft quoted line from Machiavelli's The Prince which gives advice on rulership: "It is better to be feared than loved". Yet this line is in fact misquoted. The full line is: "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both." By being a just lord who pursues honour (but is willing to sacrifice it for a higher cause), Ned Stark is both feared, loved, and respected, and it is the memory of his character that will ultimately see his children restored to Winterfell by his bannermen.

This does not seem very grimdark to me.

As it seems almost certain that the Starks will be returned to the North and in some form united, an important question must be asked. If Ned's life and message is all about love, what is his opposite?

The answer: Tywin Lannister.

Tywin Lannister: The Anti-Ned

If one thing is clear, it is that Tywin Lannister is a man who is not fully capable of love. His three children all live in terror of him, and he has a commanding, unsmiling presence. On seeing him at Harrenhal, Arya describes him thus (bolding my own):

The Lannister lord was strong-looking for an old man, with stiff golden whiskers and a bald head. There was something in his face that reminded Arya of her own father, even though they looked nothing alike. He has a lord's face, that's all, she told herself. She remembered hearing her lady mother tell Father to put on his lord's face and go deal with some matter. Father had laughed at that. She could not imagine Lord Tywin ever laughing at anything. (ACOK, Arya VII).

Here, Ned and Tywin are placed in direct contrast and Arya concludes that they are nothing alike. While Ned was laughing and warm under his lord's face, Tywin is implacable and terrifying, and Arya imagines that Tywin's lord's face is his real face. Although Arya only views Tywin from a distance, her analysis is undoubtedly correct, as it seems to line up with descriptions of him by people who know him better; as a smiling, unloving lord whose affection was reserved solely for his wife Joanna and no one else:

"Lord Tywin seldom spoke of his wife, but Tyrion had heard his uncles talk of the love between them. In those days, his father had been Aerys's Hand, and many people said that Lord Tywin Lannister ruled the Seven Kingdoms, but Lady Joanna ruled Lord Tywin." (ASOS, Tyrion V).

As shown by this passage, Tywin's smile is directly linked with his ability to love as it is directly connected with his only love, Joanna. It is seen again in a report by Pycelle to the Citadel:

Only Lady Joanna truly knows the man beneath the armour, and all his smiles belong to her and her alone. I do avow that I have even observed her make him laugh, not once, but on three separate occasions!" (TWOIAF, The Targaryen Kings: Aerys II).

Indeed, Tywin's smile is linked to marriage even in death:

Every crow in the Seven Kingdoms should pay homage to you, Father. From Castamere to the Blackwater, you fed them well. That notionpleased Lord Tywin; his smile widened further. Bloody hell, he's grinning like a bridegroom at his bedding. That was so grotesque it made Jaime laugh aloud." (AFFC, Jaime I).

Jaime's observation about Tywin's smile being grotesque shows how unnaturally it came to him in life and, therefore, how unnatural it is for him to love other people, including his own children (but more on that in a moment). That being said, we do get an alternative view of what causes Tywin to smile from his sister Genna in A Feast for Crows:

"Men say that Tywin never smiled, but he smiled when he wed your mother, and when Aerys made him hand. When Tarbeck Hall came crashing down on Lady Ellyn, that scheming bitch, Tyg claimed he smiled then. And he smiled at your birth, Jaime, I saw that with mine own eyes. You and Cersei, pink and perfect, as alike as two peas in a pod... well, except between the legs. What lungs you had!" (AFFC, Jaime V).

This passage is amongst the best analyses of Tywin in the series, as it allows us to see him through the perspective of someone close to him but not Jaime, Cersei, or Tyrion. Let's try and draw out what elicits one of Tywin's smiles. Genna lists four times that Tywin smiled throughout his life:

When he married Joanna.

When Aerys made him hand. 

When Tarbeck Hall was destroyed.

When Jaime was born.

The first lines up with what we already know: Tywin loved Joanna. The fourth may imply that Tywin loved Jaime in some capacity (Genna seems to think so). The second and third relate to times that House Lannister got revenge on its enemies, or Tywin himself gained power. By grouping together Tywin smiling for personal happiness and family success, Genna intimately ties the two in her conception of what made Tywin happy; power and family. She goes onto reinforce this by explaining why she loved Tywin, but why his love for her was not so simple (bolding my own):

"I was my father's precious princess . . . and Tywin's too, until I disappointed him. My brother never learned to like the taste of disappointment." (AFFC, Jaime V).

Here, Genna demonstrates that Tywin's love and good will extended as far as the object of his affections did as he expected them to. His treatment of Genna is very in line with the way he deals with Jaime, Cersei, and Tyrion; ie. when they are not what he wants them to be, he withholds love and affection (as far as he is capable of it). Even so, Genna still claims she loved her brother (which Jaime finds somewhat surprising):

"Did you love him?" Jaime heard himself ask.

His aunt looked at him strangely. "I was seven when Walder Frey persuaded my lord father to give my hand to Emm. His second son, not even his heir. Father was himself a thirdborn son, and younger children crave the approval of their elders. Frey sensed that weakness in him, and Father agreed for no better reason than to please him. My betrothal was announced at a feast with half the west in attendance. Ellyn Tarbeck laughed and the Red Lion went angry from the hall. The rest sat on their tongues. Only Tywin dared speak against the match. A boy of ten. Father turned as white as mare's milk, and Walder Frey was quivering." She smiled. "How could I not love him, after that? That is not to say that I approved of all he did, or much enjoyed the company of the man that he became . . . but every little girl needs a big brother to protect her. Tywin was big even when he was little." (A Feast for Crows, Jaime V).

Here, it becomes clear that Genna loves (and perhaps idolises) Tywin as her protector because he was the only one who stood up against their father on the subject of her ill-advised marriage. She chooses some very interesting phrases when describing Tywin, particularly that he casts a long shadow and that he was big even when he was little, which seem particularly evocative of how Tyrion has been described elsewhere (which, more on in my Tyrion essay). Yet, in the same stroke, she also makes it clear that she did not love Tywin's company or agree with most of his decisions. The thing she loved him for, then, was his desire to protect his family. Yet, it is clear from the passage before that Tywin does not stand up for Genna because he loves her but because her marriage to a second born Frey is a slight on his house.

Tywin loves Genna Lannister, not Genna Lannister.

No One Laughs at House Lannister

Tywin's unsmiling visage and his distrust of laughter is commented on so many times that there must be a reason as to why this is. The answer according to Genna?

"Tywin mistrusted laughter. He heard too many people laughing at your grandsire." (AFFC, Jaime V).

Tywin is therefore trying to cultivate his own image as an exact opposite from that of his own father, Tytos, who was known as the Laughing Lion. His reason for doing this is demonstrated by Kevan, who highlights Tytos' perceived weakness in a conversation with Tyrion:

“Our own father was gentle and amiable, but so weak his bannermen mocked him in their cups. Some saw fit to defy him openly. Other lords borrowed our gold and never troubled to repay it. At court they japed of toothless lions. Even his mistress stole from him. A woman scarcely one step above a whore, and she helped herself to my mother's jewels!” (ASOS, Tyrion IX).

A similar summary of Tytos' character is given by Beldon, the Maester at Casterly Rock during Tytos' rule:

His lordship wants only to be loved. So he laughs, and takes no offense, and forgives, and bestows honours and offices and lavish gifts on those who mock him and defy him, thinking thereby to win their loyalty. Yet the more he laughs and gives, the more they despise him. (TWOIAF, The Westerlands: House Lannister under the Dragons).

As seen in the Genna betrothal story, Tywin detests his house being laughed at, and this is because he associates it with people who were a direct threat to his family. The association between laughter and direct physical threat perhaps began for Tywin at that feast where Genna's betrothal was announced, as the two bannermen who had the most visceral reaction to the news - Roger Reyne "The Red Lion of Castamere" (who left the hall in anger at the announcement of Genna's betrothal) and Ellyn Tarbeck (Roger's sister), who outright laughed - were later to be pursued quite viciously by Tywin.

Although I do not want to get into the Reyne-Tarbeck revolt in too much detail, I will outline it briefly as it offers a blueprint for Tywin's later actions. After the War of the Ninepenny Kings in 260 AC, Tywin returned to the Westerlands, determined to exert Lannister power in their home territory once more. He demanded repayment of the loans the bannermen had taken from Tytos and, if they could not repay, send a hostage to Casterly Rock in place of the money. Roger Reyne laughed when he heard Tywin's order and counselled other Lannister bannermen to do the same. Wanting to outright challenge Tywin's authority, Lord Walderan Tarbeck (Ellyn's husband) went to talk to Tytos directly, desiring him to rescind Tywin's order, but Tywin imprisoned Lord Walderan before he could reach Tytos. In response, Ellyn Tarbeck captured three Lannisters, including Stafford Lannister (whose sister Joanna was betrothed to Tywin) and threatened injury unless Lord Walderan was returned. Although Tywin advocated sending Lord Walderan back to Ellyn in three pieces - one for each of the Lannisters taken - Tytos backed down, and instead returned Walderan unharmed. He then forgave the Tarbeck debt to House Lannister.

This no doubt incensed Tywin, but he got his chance for vengeance the following year when he ordered that Ser Roger Reyne and Lord Walderan Tarbeck appear at Casterly Rock to answer for their crimes against Tytos. Instead of adhering to the order, both men renounced their allegiance to House Lannister and raised an army. Tywin did the same in response (without his father's permission) and succeeded in defeating Walderan in battle. He followed this victory by destroying Tarbeck Hall, killing Lady Ellyn in the collapse. In fear of their lives, Ser Roger and his family then went to hide in the mines under Castamere. Terms were sent out to Tywin, but they were ignored. Tywin wanted both houses totally destroyed. In order to achieve this goal, Tywin had all the entrances to the mines blocked up, then ordered his men to direct a nearby stream into the only available mine entrance. Over the course of the next day, all hundred men, women, and children hiding in the mines drowned, and Castamere and Tarbeck Hall were left as ruins as a message of what happened to those that crossed House Lannister.

Given the visceral brutality of Tywin's response to the Reyne-Tarbeck Rebellion, a song, The Rains of Castamere, was composed to memorialise the incident. It sings of a fictitious exchange between Tywin and Ser Roger, and perfectly incapsulates the former's political philosophy:

"And who are you, the proud lord said,

That I must bow so low?

Only a cat of a different coat,

That's all the truth I know.

In a coat of gold or a coat of red,

A lion still has claws,

And mine are long and sharp, my lord

As long and sharp as yours.

And so he spoke, and so he spoke,

that lord of Castamere,

But now the rains weep o'er his hall,

With no one there to hear.

Yes now the rains weep o'er his hall,

And not a soul to hear."

(A Storm of Swords, Arya VII)

Although it is not known who composed The Rains of Castamere, Tywin brought it into his armoury when dealing with enemies as it became a key psychological weapon of his. For example, when another Lannister bannerman, House Farman of Faircastle, were causing trouble for Tywin, he sent an envoy to play them The Rains of Castamere. Lord Farman quickly changed his mind. The most famous use of the song, though, is at the Red Wedding, where it served as the signal to begin the killing. On hearing the song, Catelyn suddenly realises that things are going to go horribly, horribly wrong for herself and Robb:

No one sang the words, but Catelyn knew The Rains of Castamere when she heard it. (A Storm of Swords,Catelyn VII).

Given his deployment of The Rains of Castamere in later years, his successes against the Reyne-Tarbeck Rebellion obviously had a profound effect on Tywin and shaped his entire political philosophy on how to deal with rebels and enemies. That this was the case is shown by Jaime's remembrance of how Tywin counselled him to deal with enemies:

Jaime: My father had a saying too. Never wound a foe when you can kill him. Dead men don't claim vengeance.

Hoster: Their sons do.

Jaime: Not if you kill the sons as well. Ask the Casterlys about that if you doubt me. Ask Lord and Lady Tarbeck, or the Reynes of Castamere. Ask the Prince of Dragonstone. (ADWD, Jaime I).

Tywin's Brutal Tactics and his Enemies

Having confirmed his philosophy in the Reyne-Tarbeck conflict, Tywin then began a career of using brutal tactics of shutting down rebellion and destroying those who dared to laugh at, or bring shame to, House Lannister. The first of these was Tytos Lannister's mistress, who had stolen from him and laughed behind his back. After Tytos' death, Tywin moved against her instantly:

Cersei had been a year old when her grandfather died. The first thing her father had done on his ascension was to expel his own father's grasping, lowborn mistress from Casterly Rock. The silks and velvets Lord Tytos had lavished on her and the jewelry she had taken for herself had been stripped from her, and she had been sent fort naked to walk through the streets of Lannisport, so the west could see her for what she was. (ADWD, Cersei II)

The next incident was at the conclusion of Robert's Rebellion, and concerned the fate of Rhaegar Targaryen's children. Tywin had, of course, hoping to facilitate the marriage of Rhaegar to his only daughter, Cersei. This did not happen, with Aerys instead opting for Rhaegar to marry the Dornish princess Elia Martell. The slight is still felt keenly by Cersei many years later:

It must have been madness that led Aerys to refuse Lord Tywin's daughter and take his son instead, while marrying his own son to a feeble Dornish princess with black eyes and a flat chest. (AFFC, Cersei V).

At the conclusion of Robert's Rebellion, Tywin orders the deaths of Rhaegar's children, ostensibly to demonstrate loyalty to House Baratheon. However, there is undoubtedly some lingering resentment over the fact that Elia was chosen over Cersei, as seen in a conversation that Elia's sister Oberyn has with Tyrion:

"Well, Prince Rhaegar married Elia of Dorne, not Cersei Lannister of Casterly Rock. So it would seem your mother won that tilt."

"She though so," Prince Oberyn agreed, "but your father is not a man to forget such slights. He taught that lesson to Lord and Lady Tarbeck once, and to the Reynes of Castamere. And at King's Landing, he taught it to my sister." (ASOS, Tyrion IX).

Here, it is interesting that Oberyn equates Elia and her children's deaths with the ends of the Tarbecks and Reynes. Tywin's violence is presented as a continuous line; starting with those who directly slightly House Lannister (the Reynes and Tarbecks), it eventually extends beyond to those merely chosen over House Lannister.

Although what Tywin Lannister did to his father's mistress and Elia is notably brutal, the War of the Five Kings gives Tywin plenty more opportunities to behave savagely. Despite knowing what Gregor Clegane is (given the rape and murder of Elia), in the early stage of the war, he sends the Mountain out to harry the Riverlands. He does so with astounding cruelty:

The only peace Ser Gregor's lot had ever given anyone was the peace of the grave. (AFFC, Jaime III).

Yet this is not the most famous example of Tywin's brutality; in fact, it is Tywin’s  sanctioning and planning of the Red Wedding, which offends the sensibilities of everyone in Westeros for breaking guest right. Tywin no doubt recognised a similar hunger for vengeance against Robb Stark in Walder Frey that he himself felt after Reynes and Tarbecks mocked House Lannister all those years previously. Even so, Tywin subsequently justifies it in rather a bloodless, emotionless way in explaining why he colluded with Walder Frey to Tyrion:

"Explain to me why it is more noble to kill ten thousand men in battle than a dozen at dinner. The price was cheap by any measure. The crown shall grant Riverrun to Ser Emmon Frey once the Blackfish yields. Lancel and Daven must marry Frey girls, Joy is to wed one of Lord Walder's natural sons when she is old enough, and Roose Bolton becomes Warden of the North and takes home Arya Stark.” (ASOS, Tyrion VI).

Given his constant crowing about Lannister brutality through his promotion of The Rains of Castamere, it is perhaps a little surprising that Tywin is justifying his monstrous act as something almost noble and strangely merciful. But, if you look closer, it is clear that Tywin does not believe himself a cruel, brutal man. That belief is seen most clearly through his memory of Elia, Rhaenys, and Aegon's deaths, which he attributes to Gregor Clegane and Amory Lorch, in spite of the fact that he was the one who ordered them:

“I grant you, it was done too brutally. Elia need not have been harmed at all, that was sheer folly. By herself she was nothing."

"Then why did the Mountain kill her?"

"Because I did not tell him to spare her. I doubt I mentioned her at all. I had more pressing concerns... Nor did I yet grasp what I had in Gregor Clegane, only that he was huge and terrible in battle. The rape… even you will not accuse me of giving that command, I would hope. Ser Amory was almost as bestial with Rhaenys. I asked him afterward why it had required half a hundred thrusts to kill a girl of…two? Three? He said she’d kicked him and would not stop screaming. If Lorch had half the wits the gods gave a turnip, he would have calmed her with a few sweet words and used a soft silk pillow.” His mouth twisted in distaste. “The blood was in him.” (ASOS,Tyrion VI).

His belief that he is not directly to blame for Elia, Rhaenys, and Aegon's deaths also carries through to his interpretation of the Red Wedding, which Tywin lays at Walder Frey's door:

Tyrion: Was it a soft silk pillow that slew Robb Stark? Tywin: It was to be an arrow, at Edmure Tully’s wedding feast. The boy was too wary in the field. He kept his men in good order, and surrounded himself with outriders and bodyguards. Tyrion: So Lord Walder slew him under his own roof, at his own table? What of Lady Catelyn? Tywin: Slain as well, I’d say. A pair of wolfskins. Frey had intended to keep her captive, but perhaps something went awry. Tyrion: So much for guest right. Tywin: The blood is on Walder Frey’s hands, not mine. (ASOS, Tyrion VI).

There are several points to draw out here from these two passages that highlight the extent of Tywin's cruelty:

Tywin did not even think to give orders about what to do with Elia Martell or Catelyn Stark. He did not care if they lived or died.

Tywin thinks Tyrion would not believe him culpable of ordering a rape (in spite of the fact that Tywin ordered Tyrion's own wife to be gangraped, but more on that in a moment). Talk about cognitive dissonance!

Tywin blames the death of Rhaenys and the murder of Elia on Gregor Clegane and Amory Lorch and is distasteful of the way they carried it out (compare to Ned's "the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword" philosophy).

Tywin believes that the blame for the Red Wedding lies on Walder Frey, despite the fact that Tywin actively planned it.

These passages not only demonstrate Tywin's immense cruelty, but also that he is a major hypocrite who advocates brutal tactics, but then does not acknowledge their brutality. Furthermore, Tywin does not have the presence of mind to see how other people would interpret his actions. Strangely, Tywin is often interpreted as one of the best strategic thinkers in the series by the fandom, but this passage exposes that he cannot understand how other people would lay the deaths of their loved ones at his door, even if he was not the one who swung the sword. This is an incredible lack of foresight on Tywin's part, as the Lannisters come to be reviled for Tywin's brutal tactics. The Red Wedding sticks long in the Riverlanders and the Northerners memory, with the vengeful wraith Lady Stoneheart even appearing to punish people involved in that exact crime, while Doran and Oberyn spend years plotting revenge on Tywin for Elia and children's deaths. Although seemingly understanding the fear of him that such tactics inspire, Tywin does not seem to grasp what motivates people to be most unforgiving in their quest for revenge. Tywin himself has only ever done it because people have insulted his family; he does not comprehend the extent his enemies will go to avenge those he loves.

By using such tactics, Tywin creates his own enemies.

Tywin's Brutal Tactics and his Family

Not fully realising the effects his actions can have on other people, it is therefore perhaps not surprising that Tywin does not limit his brutal short-term tactics to his enemies, he also constantly applies them to his own family. In a small way, this is seen in how Tywin blew hot and cold with his sister Genna depending on whether she was doing what he wanted, but it is best noted in the huge psychological damage that Tywin has done to his children Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion. I am planning on looking at Tywin's effect on each Lannister sibling in their own essay, but I will state here that all of Tywin's children's worldview and actions are undoubtedly shaped by the lessons he imparted to them through example and practice.

When looking at Tywin's brutal treatment of his children, there is no instance more important than how Tywin punishes Tyrion by the way he treats his lowborn wife, Tysha:

Bronn: A Lannister of Casterly Rock wed to a crofter's daughter. How did you manage that?

Tyrion: Oh, you'd be astonished at what a boy can make of a few lies, fifty pieces of silver, and a drunken septon. I dared not bring my bride home to Casterly Rock, so I set her up in a cottage of her own, and for a fortnight we played at being man and wife. And then the septon sobered and confessed all to my lord father." (AGOT, Tyrion VI).

The first thing to notice here is that Tyrion knew and feared what his father's reaction would be to him marrying Tysha, so he kept her far away from where his father could reach her (interestingly, that is the same thing he was to do later for Shae). However, Tyrion perhaps did not anticipate the length to which his father would go:

Tyrion was surprised at how desolate it made him feel to say it, even after all these years. Perhaps he was just tired. "That was the end of my marriage."

"He sent the girl away?"

"He did better than that," Tyrion said. "First he made my brother tell me the truth. The girl was a whore, you see. Jaime arranged the whole affair, the road, the outlaws, all of it. He thought it was time I had a woman. He paid double for a maiden, knowing it would be my first time.

"After Jaime had made his confession, to drive home the lesson, Lord Tywin brought my wife in and gave her to his guards. They paid her fair enough. A silver for each man, how many whores command that high a price? He sat me down in the corner of the barracks and bade me watch, and at the end she had so many silvers the coins were slipping through her fingers and rolling on the floor, she..." The smoke was stinging his eyes. Tyrion cleared his throat and turned away from the fire, to gaze out into darkness. "Lord Tywin had me go last," he said in a quiet voice. "And he gave me a gold coin to pay her, because I was a Lannister, and worth more." (AGOT,Tyrion VI).

This such an unbelievably cruel and awful thing to do to his son (and his son's wife), but the messages that Tywin is trying to impart here are consistent with the brutal campaign he has waged on his enemies for most of his life. First of all, Tywin clearly recognises the power of sexual humiliation in totally breaking a person. He first learnt this lesson when constructing how best to punish and destroy his father's mistress after Tytos' death. By making her do a Walk of Shame, Tywin's intention was to see her revealed as "whore", as seen from a Lannister guard's recollection of the Walk years later:

Vain and proud she was [the mistress], before... so haughty you'd think she'd forgot she came from dirt. Once we got her clothes off her, though, she was just another whore. (ADWD, Cersei II).

In having Tysha gangraped by the garrison of Casterly Rock, he was clearly imparting the same message to the Lannister men, to Tysha herself, and to Tyrion as he did to Tytos' mistress; you are worthless, you have no power, you are a whore.

Yet Tywin's deployment of sexual humiliation did not end there, as he also forced Tyrion (who was thirteen!!) to also take part in Tysha's rape. Not only did this turn into a sexual assault of Tyrion, but it also succeeded in ending Tyrion's belief that he could be loved for himself (as Tysha clearly had).

The final message Tywin imparts to Tyrion here is the one that he has been living by his whole life; that Lannisters are worth more. In this case, it is symbolised by the fact that while Tysha is given silver for each guardsman, Tyrion is forced to give Tysha gold. In this moment of cruelty, the reader really gets an insight into Tywin's guiding views of House Lannister. It speaks of how Tywin non-Lannister people as lesser, a feature of his personal philosophy that has come up again and again; think of how he gave no orders for what was to be done about Elia Martell or Catelyn Stark, or even how during the period of time he worked as Aerys' Hand, he undid Aegon V's laws which gave greater freedoms to the smallfolk. Tywin no doubt intended this incident as a punishment for Tysha and Tyrion, but also as a learning experience for the latter. You are at the top of the food chain: act like it!This is revealed when Jaime admits the truth about Tysha to Tyrion in A Storm of Swords (bolding my own):

Jaime: For your gold, Father said. She was lowborn, you were a Lannister of Casterly Rock. All she wanted was the gold, which made her no different from a whore, so... so it would not be a lie, not truly, and... he said that you required a sharp lesson. That you would learn from it, and thank me later...”

Tyrion: Thank you? He gave her to his guards. A barracks full of guards. He made me... watch.

Jaime: I never knew he would do that. You must believe me.” (ASOS,Tyrion XI)

The involvement of Jaime in the deception is also interesting. Why does Tywin not just tell Tyrion himself the "truth" about Tysha? After all, Jaime's initial response to Tysha is to help her (bolding my own):

"I met her on a night like this," he heard himself saying. "Jaime and I were riding back from Lannisport when we heard a scream, and she came running out into the road with two men dogging her heels, shouting threats. My brother unsheathed his sword and went after them, while I dismounted to protect the girl... Jaime was all in a lather to hunt down the men. It was not often outlaws dared prey on travellers so near to Casterly Rock, and he took it as an insult. The girl was too frightened to send off by herself, though, so I offered to take her to the closest inn and feed her while my brother rode back to the Rock for help." (AGOT,Tyrion VI).

The answer is that Tywin is attempting to wage a psychological war against both Tyrion and Jaime. In the case of the former, Jaime is the only person who he loves and trusts in his family, so making Tyrion hear the "truth" from is more likely to make him believe it. On Jaime's part, Tywin is making him complicit in this whole ordeal, which Jaime continues to regret years later, as seen in his conversation with Catelyn Stark on the matter:

I think it passing odd that I am loved by one for a kindness I never did [telling Tyrion the "truth" about Tysha], and reviled by so many for my finest act. (ACOK, Catelyn VII).

That Tywin set up Jaime and Tyrion in this way is incredibly sad as, when looking at the messed up dynamic between the central four Lannisters, it is clear that the only healthy relationship is between Jaime and Tyrion. Using Jaime as the "truth-teller" therefore has the added intention of alienating the brothers from one another, leading to an eventual, but inevitable, fallout between Jaime and Tyrion and ultimately depriving both of their only ally within the family.

Tywin wants total control of his children, not as people, but as Lannister cyphers who are worth more. And he will do it any way he can, even if that means destroying the bonds between his own children.

But do Brutal Tactics work?

Given the lessons that Tywin learnt during the Reyne-Tarbeck Rebellion, one would think that his political philosophy would hold true; it is better to be feared than to be loved. Brutality makes you feared, which makes you strong. Yet, looking at the trajectory of the entire A Song of Ice and Fire saga, it is clear this assumption is not the case at all. Compare the treatment of Ned's "daughter" fArya by the Stark bannermen in contrast to Lannister supporters' treatment of Cersei in A Dance with Dragons. While, according to Barbrey Dustin, the Northern bannermen are plotting a Stark restoration partly motivated by fArya's tears, no Lannister bannermen or supporters do anything to help Cersei when she is ritually shamed by the Faith Militant. In fact, everyone abandons her. The situation even sparks a comparison by Kevan between Cersei's situation and the brutality meted out to Tytos' mistress by Tywin, including the subsequent abandonment by her "friends" and allies:

All the self-seekers who had named themselves her friends and cultivated her favour had abandoned her quickly enough when Tywin had her stripped naked and paraded through Lannisport to the docks, like a common whore. Though no man laid a hand on her, that walk spelled the end of her power. Surely Tywin would never have dreamed that same fate awaited his own golden daughter. (ADWD, Epilogue).

House Lannister has therefore come full circle. Tywin began his reign by brutally suppressing his rebellious bannermen (the Reynes and Tarbecks) and thereby clawed back the respect that Tytos had lost. However, Tywin did not stop there. In using brutality in every interaction with every single person, threat or no, that he came across, Tywin created enemies for himself that he would not have if he had pursued a more conciliatory path.

We return to this quote from A Dance with Dragons.

Jaime: My father had a saying too. Never wound a foe when you can kill him. Dead men don't claim vengeance.

Hoster: Their sons do.

Jaime: Not if you kill the sons as well. Ask the Casterlys about that if you doubt me. Ask Lord and Lady Tarbeck, or the Reynes of Castamere. Ask the Prince of Dragonstone. (ADWD, Jaime I).

As shown by the events of A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons, this is a lie. Although Ned's son, Robb, is dead, their bannermen are clamouring for a return to Stark rule. The Martells hold onto their grudge against Tywin for killing Elia and her children for years, and it results in a full anti-Lannister conspiracy set in motion by her brothers Doran and Oberyn, the outcome of which remains to be seen. The vengeful zombified version of Lady Catelyn wages a war on anybody she deems to have had an involvement in the Red Wedding, true or not. In contrast, Cersei has no good memories of her father to rely on when it comes to support within the capital in A Dance with Dragons. No bannermen come rushing to her aid to prevent her Walk of Shame, nor is there a great plot brewing to spring her from captivity or see her returned to power. She has herself to rely on.

In the end, the same was true for Tywin. After years of abuse at his father's hands, Tyrion eventually reacts violently against Tywin after he understands  the true extent of his cruelty and kills him. At least he gives him a quick death:

"Do me a kindness now, and die quickly." (ASOS, Tyrion XI)

As seen from all these examples, it is Tywin's unending brutality that ultimately what undoes his house's legacy. Although he succeeded in crushing the Reynes and Tarbecks, by the end of A Dance with Dragons, Cersei is shamed, Tyrion is fled, Jaime is missing, and Tommen holds onto his throne quite precariously. If Tommen falls (which he probably will), there will be nobody clamouring for a Lannister restoration as there is for the Starks in the North. The moment Tommen loses his crown, the carrions will arrive to feast on Lannister bones.

The show did not leave us with the message. In fact, multiple times, Tywin's love of vengeance and brutal tactics are seen as cruel or empowering; think of Arya murdering half the Frey's at the Twins. Similarly, Cersei's destruction of the Sept of Baelor filled with Tyrells and members of the Faith Militant brings her power. And, in the end, the Starks are using Lannister language and describing how it is only those within the family that one can trust.

Therefore, I do not believe that the ending we got for the show will look anything like the ending we get for the books, as Game of Thrones missed A Song of Ice and Fire's central message:

Love and forgiveness are redemptive, and when you accept it you can transcend the misery of a cruel world. Vengeance and violence are part of a constant cycle and feed one another.

In my opinion, ASOIAF is different from a lot of other fantasy I’ve read because it doesn’t focus on a magic system, and it doesn’t focus on a great war (we still barely even know anything about the Others). 

ASOIAF is different; ASOIAF is about what makes us human. (Even GRRM’s term for the enemy, Other, comes back to this central theme of our humanity, because it suggests that humanity is fighting against something other than human beings, something un-human, something inhumane.) 

Tywin is one of the most un-human human beings in the entire series. He’s also the villain that we get the most information about, and he still looms large over the text even in death. (Even in the brief glimpses of TWOW that he’s shared, GRRM keeps bringing him up.) GRRM has shown us all of these monstrous things about Tywin, but in doing so, he’s made the tiny glowing embers of Tywin’s humanity burn like the beacons of Minas Tirith. 

It’s our joy and our love and our laughter that make us human. It’s our sorrow and our pain. But more than all that, our humanity is the connections we make to other people. It’s shared joy, shared love, shared laughter. Shared sorrow. Our compassion. To build a society is to connect people, to share with others. Tywin and Joanna is a society of two. 

(That weirwood net of shared consciousness fascinates me - it’s an idea GRRM has written about before in his other works, and he keeps coming back to it.)  

So those handful of smiles: for his wife, for the birth of his (first two) children, for his greatest accomplishments (gruesome as they are). 

And the pain in this passage: “when Aerys II announced Ser Jaime's appointment from the Iron Throne, his lordship went to one knee and thanked the king for the great honor shown to his house. Then, pleading illness, Lord Tywin asked the king's leave to retire as Hand.” 

And the utter and absolute pain in this one: “With her death, Grand Maester Pycelle observes, the joy went out of Tywin Lannister, yet still he persisted in his duty.” 

It’s like a shot glass filled with sorrow. In AGOT through ADWD, the sorrow in those books is slow; it’s (mostly) meant to be sipped, and savored. But the way we experience Tywin’s pain, as GRRM writes it, it’s quick and it burns, and it burns out just as quickly as we move on to Tywin’s next atrocity. 

So, for me at least, Tywin and Joanna are like a distilled version of ASOIAF. It’s the moments we share that make us human, and when Joanna died, Tywin’s humanity died with her. 

That might not be the most helpful thing for writing a fanfic, so let me give you some other reasons:

My favorite short story is “The Last Rung on the Ladder”. I think I first read it ~20 years ago, and it still haunts me. It hurts. It’s about a brother and sister. It’s about taking things for granted, about the people we depend on, and about what happens when those people are no longer there. 

“You're my big brother. I knew you'd take care of me.” “Oh, Kitty, you don't know how close it was.” [...] “No,” she said. “But I knew you were [...] there.”

Maybe this applies to Jaime and Cersei too, and Tywin/Joanna are just a different iteration, but it’s what keeps me coming back: what happens when the people you depend on ... the people you think are always going to be there ... what happens when those people -- those lifelines -- are gone? 

Despite Tywin being (imo) a very social person, I think Tywin had very few real friends. In addition to being his wife, Joanna was Tywin’s friend, someone he could talk to, and confide in, and trust. Someone who made it all real. Someone who made it worth it. 

And I think Tywin thought Joanna would always be there, the same way that everyone in AGOT-ASOS thought Tywin would always be there, “eternal as Casterly Rock”. I think Tywin always imagined that Joanna would outlive him, like it never occurred to him that she would die first, but instead she died when he was in his early 30s. That’s life-shattering to have the rug pulled out from under you like that.  

Similarly, I think Joanna had this idea that she and Tywin would be together, but instead he was “often away”. We’re told that they were children together at Casterly Rock, but then at ~10 Tywin was sent away to be Aegon V’s cupbearer, and later he went away to war on the Stepstones, and then after her wedding Joanna had to be sent away because of Aerys, and we have Tywin sent to Lys at some point. What did it mean to her, that Tywin wasn’t there? For Joanna, I don’t necessarily think that Tywin not being there was entirely a bad thing, at least eventually, although I imagine it was painful at first. I think these forced separations from Tywin allowed her to grow, allowed her to eventually rule the Westerlands in Tywin’s name while he was away. 

The thing that I always think of when I think about Tywin and Joanna is this poem, “Mrs. Beast” by Carol Ann Duffy, and I always think of this line, “Bring me the Beast for the night. Bring me the wine-cellar key. Let the less-loving one be me.” The more loving one is Tywin in my mind, no doubt about it. (I played with this poem for Tywin/Joanna here.) 

There’s this scene I imagine in my own fanfiction, about a year before Joanna’s death, where there’s these silent tears, this despair on Joanna’s face, and Jaime asks his mother why she’s crying, and she says, “Because your lord father is home.” 

I think Joanna always loved Tywin, to the very end, but Tywin is a difficult person to live with. I think his homecomings eventually became bittersweet. On the one hand, the love of her life has come home to her across hundreds of miles through snow, through bandits etc, but on the other hand, whenever Tywin comes home, Joanna has to take a back seat. Tywin sucks all of the oxygen out of the room. Everyone has to take a back seat to Tywin: “It has been hard for Kevan, living all his life in Tywin's shadow. It was hard for all my brothers. That shadow Tywin cast was long and black, and each of them had to struggle to find a little sun.“

This is all kind of leading into another reason I like Tywin/Joanna in that it’s an exploration of gender roles, and the ... the limits that women are under in Westeros, even under the very best circumstances. With Joanna, she’s white, she’s filthy rich, she’s a top-tier noblewoman, she’s beautiful. Contrasted against Rhaella, Joanna has a husband who loves her so much that we get lines about Joanna ruling Tywin and how this man who never ever smiles smiled for her. But there are still limits. We’re told that Tywin was ruled at home by his lady wife. Joanna’s influence is restricted, it’s dependent on what power Tywin gives her. While Rhaella physically was confined to Maegor’s Holdfast, Joanna’s influence is confined to the domestic sphere. 

Westeros is a broken place, one that’s always been broken into little pieces (Seven Kingdoms, not one). Westeros breaks people. Like Mrs. Beast in the poem, I think Joanna was able to forget, for a time, about the world’s abused women. She was able to forget that Westeros breaks people, and that it especially breaks women. I think Joanna thought she was the exception, that she would have more, achieve more, do more ... and eventually I think she hits a wall, realizing that Tywin is her limiting factor, even as he lifts her up and grants her the power to do. 

It’s these limits that fascinate me about House Lannister as a whole. Like, the Lannisters are introduced to us as infinite. (Thinkin about this a lot lately.) Bottomless wealth, eternal life, unfathomable beauty, all I do is win win win. But over the course of the books GRRM knocks all of this down and shows us that there is a finite quality to House Lannister. Tywin dies. With Jaime, I think GRRM is exploring the limits of redemption imo. Cersei is going to hit a wall. It’s that the culture of House Lannister, their fundamental values -- they don’t work. 

Tywin is the poster boy of Westeros - he is the feudal system, he’s the face of its misogyny, he’s the walking embodiment of classism and income inequality and privilege and everything horrible about Westeros. 

I don’t think it was ever possible for Joanna to be dealt a winning hand with Tywin, The system is rigged against women, and a woman would have to break the system entirely to win. But Tywin is the system, so it just doesn’t work. 

I think of Joanna as a tragedy. 

um.

idunno if any of that is helpful, but i sure wrote a lot. Also, I really like power couples and courtly intrigue and stuff like the Borgias. Hopefully that helps a little bit, I’m so sorry. 

If you want to read other stuff I wrote, I collect my Tywin x Joanna writings under this tag:

#tjmeta

And these tags might also be useful: #joanna meta and #tywin meta

I’m so sorry, please know that I will absolutely love whatever you write! There are so few fics of Tywin/Joanna that I am excited for anything. 

(Also I hate Aerys and he can go fuck himself. I think that Tywin tried to see Joanna as a person, as much as a man in such a deeply misogynistic society can see a woman as a person. I think Aerys saw Joanna as a battlefield. Also I really hate the theory that Tyrion is Aerys’s. Really hate that.)