#tyrees

He's doing the most dumb shit, everytime.

Earlier he left Lizzie, Mica with Judith in a forest to go save somebody else, thank god Carol got there in time.

Now he left Judith in a box to look out the window and the guy got away, he freed himself and threatened to kill Judith.

WTF man, worse babysitter of all time.

So it’s fine lie to yourself.

I’m used to it your reality is only real in your head.

We don’t care about the facts.

Remember you didn’t want to be considerate anymore.

You wanted control as I said time after time.

You wanted to play games and keep spewing lies.

But let’s be real for a second you lost me in November.

I was only holding on to my dog.

The ember of our fire was gone. Nothing more we could do for each other.

And I realized last month that you were still trying to show me you cared.

But our love languages different. You showed me you didn’t care.

You can buy me whatever it won’t ever mean shit to me.

Cause before you and after you this dick was never free.

So tell yourself all these lies. That I lied and I’m lame. I mislead you and made false promises.

But let’s not forget you drove me insane.

If you screamed how you hated me and you can’t til the lease is up on Wednesday. Whatever I said on Monday is gone.

Everytime you got mad that was your response.

Make it make sense. What did you want from me?

I stopped wasting my time on someone who was begging to leave.

The reality of the situation is I’m not only a realist, I’m one of the realest. So it don’t matter what I did I’m not going hide it. But if you’re only believing your half truths let me remind you.

Told me you were dating in December “because you were hungry”. So if I wasn’t done in December that definitely lost me. I old you from the start I don’t share what’s mine. If you wanna give them attention then I guess it’s good bye.

February I asked for a kiss and then you made it a problem. How you knew I was going to ask and it had your group chat popping. Embarrassing. I never asked again. You liked to play in my face so you could laugh with your friends. That’s cool though it was what it was.

Or how about in may when you didn’t know what you wanted to do for your birthday. I told you I’d plan something if you wanted but you never said okay. And then when you made plans I was forgotten. Again you showed me that I wasn’t wanted. My depression got worse I was already suicidal. But that was the last straw and I started planning. Did you know? I planned on driving my car in a body a water. So when you went to the beach you’d think of me. Know I was still holding you while you floated at sea? Did you know I selected my locations and all. Chesapeake bay bridge, or the inner harbor.

Thankfully my yearly check up was pushed back 3 times. I was supposed to go in March. I told her about my depression and she offered my antidepressants back.

That same day I text you and let you know. And I let you know. That eventually ima start acting weird and I would need your help. But you didn’t care. I asked can I let you know when I take my medicine so that I could remember but also so you would know where I was mentally. And then I told you I kept forgetting to take my medicine and I felt off. That’s when you started making everything worse.

In all honesty I was going through a mental breakdown and you took my support dog. I love autumn but melly made me get up. Melly made me play with her. She made me go outside for longer than 5 minutes. She was helping me through my depression and you just wanted control, so you took my dog.

I know I was wrong. So don’t think I escape any blame. But my thing was I wasn’t playing any games. You said you didn’t love me. You said you were dating. I just had my dogs. But I was happy. My heart was broken but felt full with them. And then you snatched half of it away. Im crying as I type this reliving that pain.

I just wanted my dog and it drove me insane. And you made it seem like I couldn’t see her anymore because you had a new thing. The thought’s overwhelmed my brain. Somebody playing with my dog while I went insane. But in reality it was the medicine creating mania in my brain. More intense than the norm, lasting longer too. Usually I’m bipolar 1, but suddenly I was bipolar 2. Mania last from august until the end of September. That week I’ll probably always remember.

Now that this is the end

No longer my lover

Was barely my friend

Used to say all the time that I didn’t like you

But I wouldn’t be here if that shit was true

But now that you’re gone

I just hope that it’s clear

Instead of proving me wrong you’re confirming my fears

What you had wasn’t love

Because love don’t disappear

But maybe that’s it

You’re still in love

Want to give ‘em your heart

But you’re feeling me tug

It must be the love that want me to vanish

Cause they’ll never be me

And you know you can’t stand it

If you want me to go

Your wish my command

But only for you im the hollow man

If I’m there you wont see me

When I’m gone think I’m still there

But you always seen through me if I’m being fair

Without you I’m numb

Just another hollow man

A soul with no purpose

If I was you’re hell then you’ll always be damned

But you were my heaven

My Angel earth.

I didn’t think that you earned me?

Naw the roles were reversed

Why you think I followed you

All around this earth?

I was fighting to earn you

I just wanted you to listen

And I know how I am

Always complaining and bitching

You’re not a fantasy

I know the real person

Not the one that’s just drunk

Or the one overworking

I know what makes you smile

I know what in your heart

You know you broke mine

So where should I start?

And the crazy thing is i never lied to you

I told you exactly how things would be

I was guiding you

But you rather listen to your friends

Cause they can manipulate their dudes

Forgetting them niggas ain’t and them hoes ain’t you

They don’t have what you had

But you ain’t understand

Even though it hurts I’d rather take the pain

Than to have heart in my hand while you playing these game

I said I was ready

Willing to make any change

All I asked in return that you do the same

But that’s asking too much

Never willing to give what I want

Better be grateful for what I get

But what about what I need?

Im begging and pleading my mind running rampant

But that’s what you want

To see me in a panic?

To see me weak is your desire?

When you’ve always been the air that fueled my fire.

But I guess it makes sense you breezi when you want

And when the flame get too hot then you don’t give a fuck

Let me sizzle out til I’m only an ember

But before I say goodbye I got a few question

If I’m having a bad, how you help me out of my depression

Won’t tell me I’m being tested

These problems another lesson

My life is really a blessing

And prosper against these weapon

Naw

You trying was the gun trying take aim

I’m trying clear my thoughts

While you thinking I’m trying place blame

But what did you do when my mind went manic

Clearly I was damaged

Acting impulsive

Clearly was in a panic

You walked away

And even worse you took my dog