#typeandtell

What about your experiences dating women vs men?

i don’t have any experiences dating women. i’ve kissed a few, had a few fleeting crushes on straight girls, but nothing substantial. this past summer i went to a lot of queer spaces, and did get hit on by girls, but i felt very panicked and self conscious about not feeling a “spark” (i think i feel an inner sense of obligation to be Atracted to everyone who shows interest in me to prove to myself i’m Actually Into Girls and not “faking” somehow, so there’s a lot to unpack there.)

Up to this point, I’ve exclusively dated men, and not so much because I prefer men but because:

They’re easier to come across - and I’m used to a passive role when it comes to being approached, and compulsory heterosexuality at least takes the legwork out of things

I’ve been trying to figure out if I like men at all. It’s hard to tell because out of the numerous sexual partners I’ve had, my experiences with 75% of them have been uncomfortable / awful / traumatic. Penetrative sex apparently makes me cry - usually bad crying, but sometimes good, although the line is starting to blur. I’m having a hard time reconciling whether that’s even normal. 

omg the towels... I would have just been like "there are towels in the closet" and let you decide what to use them for lol

maybe this will turn into a good thing as it's revealed, in the face of having his insecurities awakened, he chooses what he feels is truer than what he knows and what you'd meant.

:( I know that you know you shouldn't be satiating him sexually if it's at the expense of your comfort and happiness, so I won't say that to you in advisory. I care about you and I care about what happens to you and I want you to be safe emotionally, physically, and sexually. ❤️ love love love you, Lana!

there's miscommunication everywhere bc mercury is retrogradddeeee

“must-reads” in my genre: Yikes @ genre because I...don’t have a genre...and I hate! picking favorite books! i just...read a lot of latin american lit. read some magical realism. read some ee cummings, just to get a feel for the malleability of language / grammar / punctuation. those are things i like because it is a reminder to not confine myself to one way of phrasing. i can’t honestly name the last book i read but right now i’m so into signing up for mailing lists and reading email newsletters? my genre is whatever sounds candid and human. because now i’m blogging. writing memoirs. essays on my life. so i’m reading whatever feels like another authentic account of a life. idk. i’m terrible rn with books.

First Draft - underwrite or overwrite: I definitely overdo it. in fact. my first drafts often miss the point entirely. i’ll mean to write about X and my first draft will be packed with tangents and anecdotes that drag before X even becomes critical. so my revisions involve cutting and rephrasing, not so much extending a thought unless i’m really that stumped

Me? A Writer? In 5 Years?: i don’t know, honestly. five years in me time sounds like eons away cause i can only conceptualize the future in like, monthly spans. i don’t think long term because it gives me anxiety. so. i am not sure. 

but. for now. i like hosting workshops. i like doing gallery events. i want to continue posting on my website, continue developing Bedtime Stories, i want to produce a work of interactive fiction, but something really theatrical and multimedia. i want to publish a small work of fiction, perhaps a novella. i want to contribute articles for online publications. i want to be on the team for a podcast. i want to continue making / selling my booklet series.