Warnings: HVITSERK’S POINT OF VIEW! Prepare to cry a little more...
Again, this is a preview. The corrected version will be posted soon! Once again, thanks @honestsycrets for your sweetness and kindness in reading it as a beta for me!
Wors: 3.637
My son.
My firstborn.
Dead.
My precious (Y/N) wounded in flesh and soul, lulling a dead body of what was supposed to be our major happiness.
My life was being destroyed in front of my eyes because of their lust for blood. Their damn war! Their cursed fight that I couldn’t handle anymore!
“Hvitserk, calm down, brother”
Those blue eyes that made me safe for so long now were just igniting the fury inside my soul causing my voice to sound loud and clear when I pushed Ubbe out of the tent with all my strength, throwing him on the ground, near Ivar’s feet.
“I SAID OUT!”
My throat was burning. Was it what Ivar felt every time he yelled with Sigurd? It wasn’t time for questions… I was so tired… My brothers were looking at me with the same surprised expression on their faces, but I wouldn’t stop this time. I wouldn’t be silent anymore.
My silence cost my son’s life. My wife’s soul.
“I’m tired of your damn childish behavior! I’m tired of you! Both of you! That’s enough for me and don’t you dare to open your fucking mouth, Ubbe!” I yelled, pointing my finger towards his face before he could use the breath he took to speak. “I’m sick of your damn speeches! I’m not your damn little brother! I’m not a fucking child anymore! Neither of us is, but you two insist in acting as if we were! You, trying to control everything around you, to bring back a damn past that is already gone! Fuck, Ubbe! Grow the damn up! Your childhood is over! It will never come back! And you…” My eyes turned to Ivar “You crippled piece of shit! I don’t fucking care about your damn feelings because every-fucking-body did it for your entire damned life and guess what, Ivar, it didn’t change a shit about your arrogance! You’re just a damn spoiled boy trying to put the world on your feet as our mother were for your entire life! You’re not trying to avenge her! You’re just trying to tell everyone that nobody can touch what you say it’s yours! And I’m fucking tired of your shitty behavior!”
“What?” Ivar said, too shocked to be angry with my words.
“You’re not thinking straight, Hvitserk” Ubbe tried, but I just yelled even louder to shut his mouth.
“I SAID YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! I don’t wanna hear you, Ubbe! I don’t want your damn advice! I don’t want your pity, your feelings! I AM thinking straight for the first damn time of my life and wanna know what?” I pulled my sword and Ivar took a step back when I pointed it at him “You two wanna fight, right? So let’s do it!”
Ubbe got up faster than I thought he could, putting himself protectively between Ivar and my sword. His hands up, unarmed.
“Hvitserk, stop it…”
“Ah! Look who still sees the crippled bastard as a fucking brother! If you can fucking put yourself in front of a damn sword to protect him so you care about him Ubbe! And you? Uh? Gave up the shitty farms you wanted in the middle of nowhere to fucking fight alongside a murderer for what? Shouldn’t you be planting fucking potatoes? What are you fucking doing here Ubbe?”
“Ivar is threatening innocent people and…” he started.
But I wasn’t patient…
“BULSHIT!” I yelled again, taking a step ahead, seeing him walking back, protecting Ivar who raised his crutch against my sword, hitting it toward the ground. “Found your balls, little brother?” I asked, ironically, causing him to grunt against me.
“You don’t really want to fight any of us, Hvitserk!” Ivar said, “You are just destroyed by pain and acting without thinking!”
I giggled, raising my sword again, pointing his neck with the sharp tip.
“I’m not fucking kidding here, Ivar. I’m tired of you all fighting each other and don’t you think Björn and that bitch mother of him will escape me ‘cause as soon as I finish here, I’ll take a horse to Kattegat. But first, you two. If you want to destroy this fucking family, so let’s put an end on it right here! You’ll stop this damn battle or I’ll fucking challenge you, both of you, to a damn combat and then, the better Ragnar’s son can conquer his right to live over the dead body of the other two! You started this shit, Ivar. So the decision is yours!”
Ivar’s body changed into tension and he looked from me to a surprised Ubbe.
“Are you serious, Hvitserk? Will you fight me?” Ubbe said, trying to convince me with those damn eyes once again, taking another step back when my sword turned to his neck instead of Ivar’s.
“You’ll be the first.” I said, firmly “If I have to lose my family so it will be done in a single shot! On a single day! I’m tired of losing everyone bit by bit! My son died today, Ubbe! We came here to bring peace, to negotiate with you and Ivar a damn conciliation and now my son is dead! So take a damn decision Ivar, or I’ll decide for you! Will you stop this shit and retreat with your damn men or will we fight to death right here and right now to solve this dispute? Now, Ivar!”
He was pressed. I could say he was afraid by the way he was looking at us. The tension between us was growing as a fourth person when Ivar let go of his crutch and yelled back an answer to my question…
“Okay! It’s over. I’ll take my men back to the camp. Now pull this sword down! Fuck!”
But I kept my blade up with my eyes on Ubbe’s.
“You will stop this shit and apologize for not to give Ivar the right value he had!”
Ubbe looked at me without real surprise in his face. He just rose his hand, pushing my blade down and sighing.
“You’re right,” he started “We are brothers… And I should have trusted you instead of fear your abilities and try to stop you by negotiating peace with the Saxons… It was…” he sighed again, defeated “It was a mistake and I’m sorry, Ivar.”
“I still can’t understand why you are fighting for Lagertha. Is this all for proving me wrong, Ubbe?” Ivar said, hurt.
“No,” Ubbe answered, raising his eyes on Ivar’s again. “I was really trying to make you stop because of the people of Kattegat, Ivar. They aren’t guilty of our mother’s murder and many of them died trying to protect her. I’m playing her game in order to preserve the most of Kattegat I could and trying to make you see what you’re doing wrong.”
“I don’t want any of them. Neither Björn is important to me! I just want Lagertha to take her ass out of my mother’s chair!” Ivar yelled and I whistled, calling the attention of them both.
“I will leave now. I’m going to Kattegat to solve it, Ivar. Put a fucking thing in your mind: She was our father true love. Our mother gave him the children that were promised to him by the gods, but his true love was Lagertha and Björn will never allow you to kill his mother. But sooner or later she will die, Ivar. Mother wouldn’t want us to fight each other for her! If Lagertha dies old seated in a damn throne away from Kattegat so it will be enough for me since I won’t have to find her in Valhalla once again! Now, while you’re here with that damn Saxon priest pretending to have a damn best friend and fighting your brothers, the Saxons are probably trying to recover our claim in York and your men are fighting without their leader to make them stronger! For fuck’s sake, kill that priest and go back to England for doing something really useful of your time! Kick the damn Saxons’ asses and honor our mother’s memory by showing everyone that she was right and you worth her efforts on carrying you every-fucking-where instead of killing this crippled ass of yours!”
I put my sword back on the sheath, looking at them both.
“You two wait for me here. (Y/N) might need help. Do something useful and…” My eyes went to the ground “Provide what’s necessary for my son’s funeral”.
I shouldn’t be thinking about it… I should be waiting for (Y/N) to deliver at the right time. I should be holding my son in my arms… Not seeing her in blood and pain, lulling our child that way. But I would finish this shit for her. I would create a place where she could live without fear and bear our children without that terrible end.
“I’m sorry, Hvitserk” I heard Ivar’s voice, low. His eyes looking at me “She will never forgive me, will she?”
“She’s not even blaming you, Ivar. She’s probably blaming herself as much as I blame myself for coming with her.”
“We’ll take care of her for you, brother. But what will you do at Kattegat?” Ubbe asked and I looked at him with firm eyes.
“I trusted you my entire life. I followed your decisions and steps blindly. Now it is your time to do the same”.
---
“He said he is here to talk with…”
“Lagertha!” I got into the Hall without waiting for the thrall that received me to introduce me. Without even calling that usurper “queen” or anything like that. I just pushed the thrall aside, standing in front of her, seeing Björn getting up of his chair, raising my hand for him to sit back. “I didn’t come for you, brother, and I suggest you not to stand on my way because I’m not Ivar, I’m not here to kill anyone, but I will if you try to stop me”.
“How is she?” Lagertha asked, but I just ignored the worried tone in her voice. It was just making me even angrier.
“I’ve heard you didn’t want to kill anyone who was blood-related to my father, is that true?” I asked, looking straight into her eyes.
“Yes, Hvitserk. I don’t want to hurt Ragnar’s offspring… You’re not…” she started and I cut her before she was able to finish.
“You already did. Because of your damn war with my brother, because of your actions against my mother and the way you put my brothers against each other, my wife had our child killed inside her womb for an archer of yours” I said with no mercy of her surprised and teary eyes.
“It wasn’t my…”
“Spare me from your excuses. I’m not here for your feelings. I’m here to solve this once and for all. Lagertha, who once was my father’s wife, mother of my first brother and my father’s first born; I challenge you to a single combat until death for the life of my son you stole from me and for the crown of Kattegat you stole from my mother.” Björn got up again but I ignored him and kept speaking with my eyes deeply into hers “You don’t have with me the same excuses you had with Ivar. I’m not a crippled, I’m not in any disadvantage against you and also I’m a skilled warrior with good reasons for this challenge, so it gives you two choices: you will fight me and stop hiding behind the people of Kattegat to protect yourself from your crimes, or you’ll give me the crown that belongs to my lineage, take your things and your firstborn son who has already rejected the crown of Kattegat and go away. Hedeby is yours. Take the damn lands and never EVER put your feet in my homeland once again or I’ll allow my younger brother to blood eagle you as he wants to do. Make your choice, queen” I said, almost mocking the title she was pretending to have.
Björn started to say she didn’t have to do it, but it was her time to raise her hand and I could see something was broken into her eyes.
“I will never be able to compensate you for what I took from you and your wife. A son’s life has no price. Take it.” She said, giving me the crown she was wearing “I gladly refuse the throne of Kattegat in your favor and I accept your terms, Hvitserk Lothbrook”
“Mother!” Björn insisted but once again, she raised her hand to shut him up.
“Your mother stole everything from me. But she never touched the life of my children. I went too far and that’s enough. I will not carry any more of Ragnar’s blood in my hands.”
“A wise decision. You have forty-eight hours to leave the town and you can take with you the shield maidens and warriors that are loyal to your command and don’t want to stay.”
She nodded, touching Björn’s chest when he threatened to take a step forward or say anything against our deal.
“You’ll give up this way?”
“I told you, Björn.” She said “I don’t want your father’s blood in my hands. There was already too much of Ragnar’s blood spilled and an innocent died without even have the chance to know this world. I owe his son this. My debt is paid. Now pack your things and let’s go.”
“Warn the people about your decision, queen… It is time for you to go. And you, brother… Consider it as a gift for the chance you gave me in your boats.”
“A gift? You should be fighting alongside me!” he yelled and I looked at him, my eyes dark.
“I wasn’t even fighting, Björn. I lost my firstborn son in your war. That’s enough. You don’t want this crown. You want your mother, so take her ass out of here and never come back or I’ll have to fulfill my promises and kill both of you! You know I might be younger than you, but I’m a man of word. And If I have to run over you, I will.”
“You talk too much for someone who can barely fight by yourself!”
“Björn! That’s enough!” Lagertha interfered before I could answer “You can’t understand what he is feeling now, but I can! I had my own dead children in my hands! I waited for cries I could never listen and held babies I could never lull! I had sons and daughters I could never see growing up and you don’t know what it feels like to lose a child! So shut your mouth, my son! You don’t want the gods to hear your words and give you a taste of his pain. There was already pain enough and too much blood spilled. I never wanted this to happen. I wanted my world back, but it is time for me to understand my world has gone with your father and this crown no longer belongs to me. Hvitserk paid a price for this peace and the deal we are making now isn’t worthy of the value he lost. He must be younger and you must have taught him a lot about battles, but today it is you who must learn, my son.” She said, holding Björn with her hands in his chest before looking at me once again “Go. And tell Ivar Kattegat will be his tomorrow at the dawn.”
“No.” I sentenced, causing Björn to raise his eyes at me once again “Ivar is not the legit heir of Kattegat’s crown so as you are not the rightful queen of this place. Since Björn refused the crown in goodwill, it belongs to Ubbe and it is also time for my brother to stop being a child and take responsibility for his obligations as the older son of Ragnar after Björn. If he refuses, this crown will come to my hands and only then, to Ivar’s. I’m tired of wrong things. It is time to make it right.”
She nodded and Björn didn’t answer this time. I just sighed, leaving the place where I used to play with my brothers, seeing the square we used to run around, the streets where we used to pull Ivar’s car… The crown in my hand becoming heavier and heavier with each memory my mind was dragging from the places I was crossing in my way back to the camp.
My heart, as well, heavier and heavier with sadness whispering bitter words in my ears…
My son would never see that hall…
My child would never run around that square or through those streets. Or fish on that lake, or swim, or play with Floki’s wooden boats I still had in my old room for him…
I would never take him to hunt with me or teach him how to fight with a wooden sword. He would never feel the sweet caresses of his mother’s hands or smell the scent of her hair…
He would never ask me for help with the girls or come home with a companion for us to know.
My son would never get married. Or have his own children in his arms.
Instead of it, my steps took me back to the camp to see the carpenters carving a small boat in the wood of a good smelling tree.
With acid tears covering my face I got back into my brothers’ tent. Ubbe and Ivar were talking as if they weren’t fighting each other some hours ago… A bitter peace, with a terrible taste to my tongue.
“Brother…” Ubbe said, but all I did was place the crown of our mother in his hands.
“Tell the smiths to make you a crown, since this shit belongs to Margrethe’s head.”
“I don’t…” he started, but I didn’t let him continue.
“To hell with what you want! You said you were trying to protect people of Kattegat from Ivar’s wrath over your own will to be in peace with your brother or avenge our mother’s murder. So you have what is needed for a king and this is your obligation and your legacy, Ubbe, no one else’s. Now be a man for the first time in your damn life, tell the blacksmith to make you a damn crown and take our father’s place as King of Kattegat because that is your place!”
He sighed.
“You said you wanted to settle down. Here is your chance.” I finished turning myself to Ivar “And you… Give the orders and prepare your men to leave.”
“Hvitserk…”
“Give the damn orders!” I almost yelled, surprising and shutting him once again “You fought since our father’s death for the right and the position you have now. You’re the leader of the Great Army as you wished to be. You’re the fucking great Ivar the Boneless, famous as our father once was. But you told me you would be more than him so take your ass back into that boat and go be greater than Ragnar as you said you could! There are men outside waiting for the glory you promised them. Now carve your name as their leader on the halls of history and conquer your place in Valhalla, Ivar, or Sigurd will laugh at your face from our father’s table until the Ragnarok!”
“I would never give him this pleasure!” He snarled to me, annoyed.
“So go there and prove him wrong. You have your safe base now. Go.”
“She is still alive, Hvitserk” he grunted and I looked into his eyes again.
“She is. And you will let Lagertha live. Period.”
“She killed our…”
“Fuck off! Enough with it!” I yelled this time, almost growling the words “She killed our mother, but she will live and her price for what she did is the guilt for killing my son!”
He silenced, lowering his head.
“She killed an innocent descendant of our father that she claims to love so hard! She, and she only, is the responsible for my son’s death and if I am satisfied with the guilt I saw in her face for my son’s murdering so you will swallow your damn pride and stop acting like a spoiled brat! Now go give them the orders to prepare your departure and get the fuck out of this place! And don’t you dare to come back without an England King’s crown in your head and your name carved on history! Did you hear me?”
He looked away, jaw clenched.
“Did you hear me, Ivar?” I insisted. And he sighed.
“Yes.”
“Good.” It was my time to sigh “Now… both of you will forgive me.”
“Where are you going?” Ubbe asked me when I turned my back on them, intending to leave the tent.
And I looked at them over my shoulder, tears back on my face.
“To my wife’s embrace, to cry my son and give him a proper funeral.”
They didn’t say anything while my steps took me away from that tent.
The peace was restored. The war was over.
But my price for this was too high.
Ubbe had a crown, Ivar had an army, Björn had his mother and I lost everything…
My steps came into the tent slow, almost stumbling… I dragged myself over the bed of furs where my precious (Y/N) was sleeping. Her belly, low and empty, covered in bandages. Her face covered in marks of the tears she cried alone for our beloved son the healers were now preparing for the rites.
I lowered my head, laying it over her lower belly where I was used to putting my ear to hear my son’s movements.
And with the silence of his absence, I cried alone the worst pain I have ever felt.
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The subsequent days were strange. Without Ubbe's presence, Ivar was constantly cocky and sometimes, intractable. You knew he had discovered something about the galleries under the city, but he was dividing nothing with you and Hvitserk. He simply stopped treating any of you like his family, starting to plan and decide by himself his next steps with the army which was blindly following his leadership.
Despite the arrogance of your little brother, Hvitserk and you already had noticed Saxons' plan for that place: after the third hunting party that didn't come back, you two realized they were isolating the city, besieging the place in order to kill you of starvation or with the diseases that were already spreading on the place.
Instead of you, Hvitserk were more worried. You had already understood Ivar's behavior and were decided to follow your path wherever it was: you would help him to establish the city or stay there and look at him till he wants to give you your tasks. But as soon as York was recovered by the Saxons' or taken by your army, you would leave. Therefore, you weren't really concerned with battle plans or the Saxon Army strategies. You only wanted them to solve it as soon as possible.
However, Hvitserk was really bothered with Ivar's silence and in that lunch, seeing his brother eating, drinking and acting like nothing was happening was the last drop he could handle.
"So, the hunting party did not return today" he said.
His plate was empty. You were emptying yours while Ivar seemed not satisfied, eating like there is not a lack of food around the men, ignoring Hvitserk completely.
But Hvitserk was decided to call his attention.
"I said the hunting..."
"I've heard what you said" Ivar said, causing you to sight, disgusted and let go the rib bone you were eating. That attitude was already annoying you.
Hvitserk sighed, continuing. His patience was growing better and stronger than yours.
"We are almost out of food. Ad there is sickness in the town. What are we going to do? We have to do something. The Saxons are in their own country. They can be reinforced and grow stronger, while every day we just grow weaker..."
"What are you really saying, huh, brother?" Ivar cut him finally taking your glare. "That I was wrong not to negotiate with the Saxons and Ubbe was right?"
That tone...
All that arrogant behavior was causing your blood to boil inside your veins. Ivar had grown stronger but same way Ubbe didn't have the right to treat him like an incapable crippled, he didn't have the right to start treating you and Hvitserk as you were disposable pawns in his Hnefatafl game. You were his sister, Hvitserk was his older brother! He might be the leader of that fucking army, but he was still younger than you both and owes you two some respect.
"No"
Hvitserk was trying to keep control, but you were already seeing his patient running low.
Even then, even with your glare on his eyes, Ivar kept that ironic expression in his face.
"No? Are you sure?"
"Ivar…" you started, ready to question his behavior.
But Hvitserk was starting to be annoyed and again he took a position, changing his tone to something a little harsher.
"Ubbe was wrong. That's why I didn't sail with him"
"But now you regret it?"
Ivar was clearly provoking him. And even this way, he was acting so grown, so mature.
You could say you were proud of your Puppy.
"I just told you no. Ubbe treated me like his little faithful dog. I'm no one's dog, Ivar"
You smiled. Even with Ivar's debauched expression, you smiled to Hvitserk just to see your smile fade away completely with the sound that preceded the men's laughing around you.
"Woof woof"
Hvitserk's expression just changed and for a moment you saw his eyes lost. He was so small, so humiliated...
Not even your supportive touch on his shoulder was enough to keep him there and he got up, taking his sword and leaving the room, completely humiliated and targeted by the men's laughing out loud around him.
Ivar himself was laughing.
And it was your last drop.
"Is this the kind of leader you want to be?"
Your voice silenced the laughs around and you turned your eyes to Ivar, fierce (y/c/e) eyes in a sharp glare that cut his own laughing into a serious expression.
"I was just kidding, (Y/N). If he can't handle some mocking so he can..."
"Is this... the kind of leader you want to be, Ivar?"
Not Grumpy, not brother, no respect for his voice echoing before yours: just your eyes, looking at him as they could swallow his blues. The men around looking at you with some curiosity and some fear...
You knew they fear Ivar...
So what about the shield maiden who was facing him fearlessly?
"I don't know where you’re trying to get, (Y/N)." he answered, evasive.
But you took the reins of the subject again, pulling him to where you wanted.
"Let me make it clear for you, Ivar, The Boneless. The kind of leader you're being now, humiliating your equals, treating your family members as nothing, 'playing' and having fun on mock of your men like we weren't here for fighting and die for you... Ignoring your people outside dying of starvation and sickness while you eat like a fucking pig seated on your throne like a damn king, minding anything but your own belly button. Is that the damn kind of leader you'll become?"
His expression has totally changed. His entire body language went from laughing to the angry mode you know so well, causing his men to pull back and the tension between you two get so thick that could be cut with a knife.
"I'm not ignoring my men. Hvitserk mocked me for my entire life and nobody... "
"Don't you even dare!"
It was the second time you cut his sentence in the middle. The men around were looking at you impressed. To them, for sure, if you didn't end that situation killed, you must be feared.
"Sigurd mocked you for your entire life and I was always there to stand for you when he was wrong, Ivar. I was always there to stand for all of you so as I was ready to stand for you at the moment you decided to throw that ax!" you said, emphasizing Sigurd’s name and going deep into that not-healed wound between you two. "But Hvitserk and I, we stayed for a promise I made. And I made that promise to my brother who I was seeing growing into a man and a leader I thought I could trust. Ubbe wasn't right, Ivar. Everyone knows this. You don't need to remember it like it didn't happen yesterday. But he wasn't wrong either. If that's your way to lead, mocking on your men, shutting about your plans, ruling everything your way like a dictator as all the minds around you had nothing to contribute with your brilliance, and treating who stays for you as nothing but dogs... If that's your way to lead this army, so you're not ready to become a leader. And I'll no longer fight for your sake."
His eyes went wide on yours, but you kept yourself firm.
"I made a promise to my brother and to the leader I was seeing grow. But you stopped growing, Ivar. You're just a child with a command scepter, avenging your hurts and stomping people around you just because you feel your higher position gives you the freedom and the power to do it. You have never grown as I thought. And I'll no longer follow a child's command cause my life is too valuable for me to sacrifice it for a leader who doesn't honor my sacrifice."
You saw him clenching his jaw. He was furious, crisping his lips, ready to give you the hell of an answer.
But you only sighed, looking at him.
"I'm disappointed on you, Grumpy." you said, crushing completely the tension between you two and his fury, turning his eyes into an afraid glare.
The fearless shieldmaiden on you? That he could face and fight. But his sister, his disappointed sister looking at him? It was too much for his heart and you knew it. You wanted him to feel how far he went this time.
"I never thought you could disappoint me that much."
You turned your back, hearing his voice calling you back. But you didn't even look back.
You left through the same way Hvitserk made, finding him at the walls, looking outside.
His eyes were teary, he was so destroyed...
"Lord Odin" you heard his voice "Did I made the right choice? Give me a sign... Help me..." he said, so filled with pain. "What is my destiny?"
You were ready to hold him when the arrow whistle called your attention and his own, causing him to go down and you to pull the shield out of the wall, blocking the arrows that were going in his direction, using the shield to create a protection for taking him out of that open place inside the watching tower.
Close to the door, you pulled him inside, hurting yourself in the process when you raised your shield to protect his passage, having your shoulder scratched by another arrow.
You two ended up falling to the ground. Your body over his causing your eyes to find each other for a second before he could see the blood dripping on your shoulder.
"You got hurt" he said, and you rolled aside, sighing while he was taking a look at the superficial wound.
"I'm done, Hvitserk." you said, looking at him "I'm done of it. I'm done of Ivar's arrogance, of this war, of this bunch of dishonored Saxon shitty men... I'm tired of risking my life in this foreign land for nothing. I don't want this land, I don't want this place, I want to get the heck outta here, find a damn place to build a fucking house and fuck you until I have a damn stair of sons with your eyes." you said, tired, causing him to giggle of your failed attempt at a joke.
"At least you're smiling." you said, sitting and touching his face. "Come with me." You asked, looking into his beautiful green eyes. "I know you stayed because of me. I know Ivar can take care of himself. After all, he did, I don't care anymore... He can do the fucking things his way... Let's go away, Hvitserk. Just you and me."
"It wouldn't be admitting Ubbe was right?" he asked and you sighed.
"I don't think it is a damn competition of who is right or wrong. I'm not talking about life under that usurper bitch's rules, Hvitserk. I'm not talking about going back to Kattegat and Ubbe's control. I'm talking about starting over, in a brand new place, you and me. Just the two of us. There is an entire world beyond Kattegat, Hedeby, and Vestfold, you know? Other minor cities where you would be still recognized as a prince, but we wouldn't have to fight these damn wars... Come with me, love... I don't wanna do it without you."
He sighed.
For an instant, you thought he would say no.
Hvitserk always was a Viking, passionate by raids and adventure. And you were calling him to settle down and start a life by your side.
You knew it would be a huge failure, and maybe you were ready to take Ivar's excuses and stay just for him if he said no to your proposal.
But he looked at you with that beautiful green eyes.
"I asked Odin for a sign, a way to go... And you came calling me to go with you." His hand touched your face in such a soft caress; and he pulled your face closer, touching his forehead in yours.
"I think I had my answer. Tomorrow... At the end of the day. It is better for us to leave with the night to cover our boat since the Saxons are besieging..."
You didn't let him finish, holding his face and kissing him deep and slowly, feeling his response as needy and passionate as your own.
Your eyes found his once again, looking deep inside your soul, and you felt his fingers touching your face, running your skin.
"I love you, (Y/N). And I want that children we dreamed about... I want a life with you. And I don't want to wait anymore." he said, and you nodded.
With the next night, a boat left York under the cloak of the darkness and the eyes of the moon.
Your future was right in front of you, smiling and paddling away from the docks.
And Ivar was now undeniably alone.
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“Our father would have hated you for sundering and splitting his family”
There it was…
The Gods were merciful with your heart bringing both of them alive. But none of them came back well.
Ubbe had a wound in his face that for sure would leave a scar for him to remember his mistakes and Hvitserk came to your room with so many stone marks in his back that you could say they ran all the way back to York under a stone rain from Saxon's army.
But you didn't say a single word when your eyes crossed with theirs. You didn't need to. Ubbe's disappointment and his frustration were stamped in his eyes when he looked at you and your words would have been the same that Ivar spat in his face...
"I told you so..."
He had risked his own life, Hvitserk's life. And not even this way he could admit how wrong he was. You were still tending Hvitserk's wounds when he came into your room with the bags for Hvitserk's things.
"We'll leave at the first hour tomorrow. This way we'll not face too many nights at the sea" he said, and tried to smile to Hvitserk like everything would be fine.
Your pretty puppy was so broken...
He just looked down, making the smile on Ubbe's face to vanish.
"Hvitserk?" he asked, fearing the worse.
And you just finished the wounds, covering Hvitserk's back and getting up.
"I'll pack your things" your voice echoed like a sword crossing Ubbe's chest.
...your things...
Not ours.
You would make Hvitserk's bags, not yours.
"You won't come with us..." Ubbe didn't ask.
He affirmed, causing Hvitserk to frown, annoyed and your eyes to glare at him, straight to his eyes.
"I have no reason to flee, Ubbe."
"We are not..." he started, but you stood up, once again looking into his eyes with your (y/c/e) orbs fierce and sharp.
"YOU are leaving because YOU don't want to face the truth, Ubbe. You failed. You were wrong. Ivar was right on every single word he said and you don't want to admit the truth: He is a good leader, he can lead this army and he will succeed. But worse than that... You're leaving because you want to prove your point. You're leaving because, somehow, you really believe that Ivar will fail without you and Hvitserk around and you want it to happen. You're cheering for it. And I can't be by Ivar's side after what he did to my brother, but I can't also tolerate your actions, Ubbe. You're cheering against your own brother because you're too afraid to admit that this family is broken! It was always broken since Ragnar has left!"
"I did everything I could to stick us together!" he yelled and you silenced, seeing his explosion finally coming out, his limits finally breaking as glass walls spreading all over the ground "I invested my entire life on taking care of all my brothers and made the best I could replacing father and Björn. And why not to say, mother, once she was too busy giving all of her attention to Ivar and Harbard to look after Sigurd and Hvitserk or even you! I did everything I could and I'm still fighting for this family, (Y/N)!"
"No. You're not." you said, catching his surprised eyes. "You're not fighting for this family, Ubbe. You're fighting for your pride. You're protecting yourself from the failure. You don't want to face the reality and I don't want to spend my life living a lie. This family is over. Ivar is following his path and I'll fulfill my promises to him 'cause I honor my word, but once he has settled York as his stronghold here, I'll leave as I said. And I'll not go back to Kattegat 'cause that place is not my home anymore, not with that usurper holding the crown. So if you want to keep pretending this travel will be a time warp that will bring you back our childish moments, do what you want, Wolf."
You didn't want to, but your eyes filled with tears anyway.
To mention that nickname in such a hurtful moment... It wasn't the way you wanted this to end.
"I'm looking forward, Ubbe. I can't live from past, no matter how good our memories are. My queen Aslaug is not here anymore. My king Ragnar is not here anymore. My sweet Honey Bee is not here anymore. I had to learn how to see the world without her visions, to face it without his protection... I had to learn how to sleep with nightmares without his songs to calm me down, Ubbe." your voice was starting to sound strangled; even you didn't want the sobs to take you. "Now I have to learn how to move on without you. I have to learn how to let Ivar go."
For the first time in that talk, your eyes crossed with Hvitserk's.
And he looked straight to you, almost waiting for what you would say about him.
"I have to build my future with my own hands" you said...
And you saw his eyes shine in tears too.
He knew you were talking about the two of you and the way that departure would break your relationship, maybe forever.
Hvitserk was confused. Your conversation when he came back was turbulent and he was torn into as many pieces as your heart. He didn't want to be on Ivar's side because of Sigurd's death. He didn't want to leave Ubbe alone after all they lived together. He didn't want to leave you with all the dreams and plans he had built for you two. He didn't want to take a decision so you took it for him. You stood for your position. You said your destiny and left his in his hands.
Since that, not even a word was traded by you and he remained silent.
You swallowed dry seeing when Hvitserk lowered his head. And your eyes went to Ubbe's again.
"I'll move forward, Ubbe. And I hope someday you can do it too. I hope somehow you find a way to live without trying to bring back something that is broken and can never be fixed. Our past will never happen again, Wolf. It's over and it is time to move on. I hope you can see it someday." You said, leaving the bags, the room and them both.
You still could hear Hvitserk's voice asking Ubbe to stop, telling him he didn't want to talk. But you did not stay to hear.
You could be pretty conscious about what was going on but it didn't mean the reality around you weren't ripping your heart out of your chest.
"(Y/N)!"
You cut your steps when heard your name echoing on Ivar's voice and only then you noticed you were crossing the hall of the church they were using as Great Hall since you invaded York.
"Come sit with us." He called.
A cup in his hands and some men around him, smiling.
"I have no time to celebrate, sir." you answered, mocking ironically about his recent conquered position and it made the smile vanish from his face.
You sighed. It wasn't also your right to hurt him so freely.
"While you're ascending, my life is being ripped, so just for tonight, Ivar... I need a time" you said in a better tone and it seemed to make him get what were you talking about. He dismissed the men around him and came, slowly, with his crutch, one step at a time till reach you.
"I've heard you decided to stay. Even you're not able to forgive me after Sigurd. Why?" he asked.
"Cause I honor my word, Ivar. And I promised you a stronghold."
"So you'll leave as soon as York is settled?"
"Yes. Instead of Ubbe, I know the past is over, you're not my Grumpy anymore so as he's not my Wolf, Ivar. You're a grown man. And you can walk with your own legs." you pointed him almost in another pun "You don't need me and I can't stay. I don't want fights anymore and I won't be able to stand beside you. Not when my heart is so heavy..."
"I didn't..." he started but you raised your hand, making him frown annoyed.
"I know you didn't want. But it's done, Ivar. And now I need time to swallow it up. All of it. Sigurd's death, the way it happened, Ubbe's behavior, Hvitserk's..."
"He'll stay," he said, almost cocky.
"I don't know" you answered, serious.
"He will. You're here, (Y/N). He'll stay. Hvitserk is like a dog: he stays where is more comfortable for him and well... It is the winner's side" he completed causing the blood to boil in your veins.
"Your brother is not a fucking dog, Ivar!" You said, shocking your finger to his chest, catching his eyes in a fierce look to your "People around you aren't toys or animals. We have feelings and you're ignoring them! You're a leader now, as you wanted, Ivar. Don't be stupid with your men as you are with your family. This is not a fucking competition and there is no winner side when everyone is losing."
"I'm not losing anything!" he answered and you sighed.
"Ubbe lost his stability. Hvitserk, his guides. I lost my brother and my family. You? You're alone, Ivar. You're the only one that can't see this. But you're alone." you said, starting to walk to leave the hall, not hearing the crutch noise after you.
Ivar stayed.
Your words froze him and his eyes followed you until you vanished. He knew you were right. He knew.
The morning came and you saw Ubbe starting to put the packs out. Just a few men going with him, a major group of slaves and two or three shield maidens and warriors... too few people. Hvitserk was between them. You didn't want to say goodbye or see him leaving. You knew if he was leaving with Ubbe so you two were a finished subject and you didn't want to make it harder for any of you. So when Ivar left with the men to see their departure, you stayed, in your room, trying to occupy your head by polishing your sword and preparing your equipment to the next onrush from the Saxons.
Every time your eyes went to the window, you reprehended yourself.
It was his life.
His choices.
His way to live.
You had no right to...
"(Y/N)?"
You heard your name and the sword felt on the ground.
You got up and turned around just to see Hvitserk, standing at your door, looking at you with that "lost puppy's" face.
He stayed.
He stayed for you.
He took a stand for his own wishes for the first time and he did it for you.
You ran into his arms, feeling his embrace around you, tight. He was still lost. Something was still hurting inside of him. But you knew what to do to heal him.
"I couldn't leave... I couldn't lose you, (Y/N). The gods know how much I owe to Ubbe, but I couldn't give up on our future because of the past he wants to bring back. You were right... And I don't want to bring back those moments... They were good..." he said, cupping your face with both of his hands "But you weren't there. And I don't want my life without you anymore".
You held his face, pulling him into your arms, kissing him as deep and passionately as you could. And this time something has changed in his touches. He was maybe so deep as you were, maybe more.
His kisses were needy, his embrace tighter...
"I need you (Y/N)... I need you now".
Your clothes went into the ground, you didn't see if he closed the door, it didn't matter anymore.
His needy hands exploring your body and his thirsty mouth killing his thirst on your skin wasn't letting you think about anything else.
You gave yourself to his desires and lost yourself in the pleasure he gave you for hours until your bodies were too tired to keep dancing together.
When everything ended, your head was leaned in his chest, his fingers running your hair and your focus on his heart beating under your ear.
"When this is all over, I want a son of yours." you said, in a low voice.
And he sighed, keeping the caresses on your head.
"I think I'll go with you when you leave..." he said, causing you to smile "And then we can make this son you're talking about" he completed and you kissed him, thinking forward about the bright future you had in mind.
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Those blue eyes that made me safe for so long now were just igniting the fury inside my soul causing my voice to sound loud and clear when I pushed Ubbe out of the tent with all my strength, throwing him on the ground, near Ivar’s feet.
“I SAID OUT!”
My throat was burning. Was it what Ivar felt every time he yelled with Sigurd? It wasn’t time for questions… I was so tired… My brothers were looking at me with the same surprised expression on their faces, but I wouldn’t stop this time. I wouldn’t be silent anymore.
My silence cost my son’s life. My wife’s soul.
“I’m tired of your damn childish behavior! I’m tired of you! Both of you! That’s enough for me and don’t you dare to open your fucking mouth, Ubbe!” I yelled, pointing my finger towards his face before he could use the breath he took to talk. “I’m sick of your damn speeches! I’m not your damn little brother! I’m not a fucking child anymore! Neither of us is, but you two insist in acting as if we were! You, trying to control everything around you, to bring back a damn past that is already gone! Fuck, Ubbe! Grow the damn up! Your childhood is over! It will never come back! And you…” My eyes turned to Ivar “You crippled piece of shit! I don’t fucking care about your damn feelings because every-fucking-body did it for your entire damned life and guess what, Ivar, it didn’t change a shit about your arrogance! You’re just a damn spoiled boy trying to put the world on your feet as our mother were for your entire life! You’re not trying to avenge her! You’re just trying to tell everyone that nobody can touch what you say it’s yours! And I’m fucking tired of your shitty behavior!”
“What?” Ivar said, too shocked to be angry with my words.
“You’re not thinking straight, Hvitserk” Ubbe tried, but I just yelled even louder to shut his mouth.
“I SAID YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! I don’t wanna hear you, Ubbe! I don’t want your damn advice! I don’t want your pity, your feelings! I AM thinking straight for the first damn time of my life and wanna know what?” I pulled my sword and Ivar took a step back when I pointed it at him “You two wanna fight, right? So let’s do it!”
The men around looking at you with some curiosity and some fear...
You knew they fear Ivar...
So what about the shield maiden who was facing him fearlessly?
"I don't know where you’re trying to get, (Y/N)." he answered, evasive.
But you took the reins of the subject again, pulling him to where you wanted.
"Let me make it clear for you, Ivar, The Boneless. The kind of leader you're being now, humiliating your equals, treating your family members as nothing, 'playing' and having fun on mock of your men like we weren't here for fighting and die for you... Ignoring your people outside dying of starvation and sickness while you eat like a fucking pig seated on your throne like a damn king, minding anything but your own belly button. Is that the damn kind of leader you'll become?"
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My fingers softly pushed the beautiful little boat on the water and Ubbe ignited the arrow in his bow, waiting for the little boat to take some distance of the coast to shot the shining dot as a flying star that landed into my son's boat, making it shine over the dark waters.
I came back to (Y/N), feeling her fingers gripping my shirt tightly, holding her sobbing body against my chest and caressing her hair with her face hidden against my neck. Her tears wetting the cloth of my shirt as my own were sliding through my cheeks to drop on her dress.
"I want him back, Hvitserk! I want my baby back! Bring my son back to me... Tell Hella to give him back... I want my baby back..."
That night you went back home a little late. Ivar fell asleep on your lap, so you let him sleep a little, while you were thinking about Hvitserk and Ubbe's propose. But when the sun went down you knew you had to awake your little brother: his legs couldn't handle a cold weather for so long, his eyes were quite blue and he was using only a cloak over his shoulders so it would be better for you to go back home.
Ivar was quite sleepy when you two got home, but yet you followed him to his room, helping him with the furs for the cold night.
"Ivar, if you need anything..." you would've said he could call you, but he smiled under the furs. "I know", he said, trustful. "I can call you, sister".
“Good night, Grumpy.”, you said, kissing his forehead before checking if his fireplace was well stocked with wood for the night. And before leaving you yet saw his fingers holding the little tear pendant you gave to him as he slowly fell asleep again.
When you just left the room, a familiar voice scared you for a little second before you recognize his figure on the shadows of the corridor.
"How's your hand?"
"Hvitserk..." you said, panting a little while he was coming toward you. “Better. It was nothing but a scratch" you tried to calm him down and he took your wounded hand into his own, looking at the cut on your palm and fingers. Indeed, it was nothing too deep that needed concernment, but yet he seemed to be concerned, taking the back of your hand up to his lips, kissing your fingers softly.
"You shouldn't have done this. Ivar could’ve hurt you deeper" he said, still caressing your hand. His so deep blue eyes were swinging between your face and your hand and when he looked into your eyes again, you turned your hand to his face. Your fingertips start touching his face, slowly drawing his bone structure, sliding through his skin. He laid his head to your hand, closing his eyes to feel the caress you kept running through his skin, going slowly to his jaw, then his neck, causing him little shivers and a cocky smile. "You're thinking about..." he has started but that sentence never found an end in his lips. You covered them with yours in a soft and warm kiss, feeling his tongue fill your mouth again, killing the thirst in your mouth for some more of that sweetness in his.
He walked toward you, holding your body next to him. His hands divided, one of them on your nape, caressing your hair and pulling your head closer so he could deepen the kiss he was so gladly receiving. The other was on your waist, pulling your body next to his, involving you in his heat.
You could hear the wet sounds of your mouths together, or feel the way his tongue was now exploring your mouth, slowly savoring each inch of you he could touch. The way he was holding your body on such strong fingers and hands, you could say Hvitserk might claim you his right there where you two were, in front of Ivar's door, without any problems.
But a growling voice reaches both of you, causing Hvitserk to part his lips from yours slowly, without put away his body from yours. Your breaths crossing each other as his blue eyes were staring your (y/c/e) orbs. "It seems your answer is yes..." Ubbe mumbles from the hall, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He was looking at you and Hvitserk as you two were kissing each other. In his lips a smile quite satisfied.
You didn't answer his words. Instead of it you slowly leave Hvitserk's warm body, walking toward Ubbe, seeing when his eyes become clear, his body straightening away from the wall's support, his head leaning down so he could look right into your eyes. Silently you touched his face, holding it in your hands before laying your lips on his, giving him a passionate kiss, a little bit more tempered in desire than Hvitserk had received.
His hands grabbed your hips, pulling your body against his as he tilted you softly behind, deepening the kiss you two were switching in a delicious expression of the desire you could feel in his virility, hard enough inside his pants for you to feel it through his clothes when he squeezed your hips against his.
You felt Hvitserk's hand sliding through your back and Ubbe parted the kiss staring your eyes with those savage blues... They seemed to be so different... You could see all the desire in Ubbe's eyes, his hands were heavier, his touches burning your body.
Hvitserk, otherwise, was soft and gentle... His tenderness and care making you believe that he was a deliciously patient lover who would devour your smallest details into hands, mouth, sweat, and heat.
"Come, (Y/N)." Hvitserk invited, his hand extended toward you. "Come with us" he smiled.
You knew something was sounding wrong in doing what you were pretending. But you accepted Hvitserk's hand, following with Ubbe just behind you, hunting your movements as a wolf staring his prey. They took you to Ubbe's room, in which the fireplace was already alight, heating the ambient. Ubbe seemed hungrier for your taste: he left the door open behind him, catching your lips on a hard kiss as soon as you entered the room. Hvitserk giggled, locking the door as Ubbe ran your entire body with his hands, landing them on your thighs, pulling your dress up until he could touch your skin, squeezing slowly and grunting against your lips, seeming to be in pleasure for having your skin in his hands finally.
Slower, Hvitserk's hands landed on your hips, sliding through the sides of your body when he came closer, breathing on your hair, feeling your smell with closed eyes. His hands continued, exploring your shoulders, taking the hair out of his way to your neck and nape, where he landed his lips in sweet and warm kisses, shivering your entire body, causing you to moan against Ubbe's lips.
He groaned excited, and Hvitserk giggled against your neck.
"You really turn Ubbe on, (Y/N). So as you do with me. Can you feel how much you made us fools for you? Can you feel how much we want you?"
His voice whispered in your ears like a serpent lisping a bite to come. His hands still sliding through your body while Ubbe's, most desirous, were entering your dresses passages, exploring your skin directly.
"Let's take it out...It warm inside this room, don't you think, (Y/N)? Oh, I'm hot and thirsty... Are you thirsty, Ubbe?" Hvitserk questioned while undoing the knots of your dress closure and Ubbe smirked against your mouth. "Not for long, brother... Not for long".
He put his body back just enough for Hvitserk slide your dress away to your skin. Ubbe undressing from his shirt as Hvitserk's hands now was running your nude back, pushing the cloth away from your surrendered skin, touching it on his soft fingertips before laying his lips on your skin again making a deliciously wet trail from your lower back up to your nape.
The younger one kept his mouth running your skin, tricking your senses while the older one was lowering his body in front of yours, taking your dress with his hands through your legs until it laid lost on the ground. So Ubbe could focus his mouth on exploring your legs in kisses, lifting one of them to continue a wet trail of kisses towards your intimacy.
Your body tilted back to Hvitserk's supportive hug and he hid his face on your neck, kissing a small trail to your ear where he continued, whispering, making your thoughts confuse. "Oh, I'm jealous, (Y/N)... My brother will prove you before me." You just breathed to answer him, telling you would belong to both equally, when Ubbe sank his face against your intimacy, licking and kissing really thirsty as he said he was. And your answer got lost in a loud moan to Hvitserk's ears, causing him to frown on a delicious expression, holding your body in his arms when you lost the strength on your legs.
"She's so warm and wet, Hvitserk, so sweet ..." Ubbe growled between your legs, holding your hips tight on a hug that was practically preventing you to move away from his savage tongue, exploring your body, sucking your clit between his lips on wet kisses that were making you insane! But not even that intense heat was capable of making you let pass the warm sensation of Hvitserk's arms, holding and supporting your body when the pleasure was torturing you to weakness.
"I can barely wait to prove..." Hvitserk whispered his answer to his brother on your ears, his blue eyes so dark in desire. He turned your face to him when the pleasure was coming too hard for you to handle. And when Ubbe focused himself on your clit, drowning your body in waves of pleasure, Hvitserk kissed you one more time, making you come silently to his brother's lips as yours were hidden on his, in a passionate kiss that swallowed your moans for Ubbe's mercy.
Your body almost collapsed in his arms. Hvitserk was smiling when you parted your lips from each other, your body panting, begging for the air Ubbe had dragged away from the room. "You're stealing my moans, Hvitserk", Ubbe complained as Hvitserk softly held your body in his arms, taking you to the bed. "You stole her first orgasm from my lips, so I think we're even brother" he returned, smiling almost deviously.
Ubbe licking his own lips, tasting your savor in his beard like he was teasing his younger brother about your pleasure he stole from him.
You caught yourself looking from one to another. Ubbe was so fucking sexy with that savage predator ways... But Hvitserk was on disadvantage: you were already naked. Ubbe had only his pants he was starting to remove. Your sweet puppy was there, smiling at you, still dressed. So you lifted yourself on the bed. Your arms went around Hvitserk's neck causing his eyebrow to lift on a surprised expression.
Ubbe's glance was captured for your movements, slowly leaning your body to Hvitserk's, kissing his soft and sweet mouth while undressing him. Your hands started invading his clothes, scratching his skin with your nails. You could notice the way he deepened the kiss on your mouth when your fingers went down to his abdomen, invading his pants, touching his virility, caressing him, giving to him something Ubbe didn't have yet, stroking his member with your hand. Your mouth started moaning against the kiss the satisfaction to find him so ready to you, so hard and excited.
The older grunted, pretending dissatisfaction, as the younger moaned laying on your hand, caressing your face with his fingers, even harder on yours. But you extended your free hand towards Ubbe, almost inviting him to come to you... To claim the same caresses his brother were enjoying so well.
“Come.”, you said.
He smiled coming and lying next to you. And Hvitserk opened his eyes, lying down on your other side. Your hand reached Ubbe's erection and you listened to him, grunting in pleasure as you stroke him the same way your other hand was doing to his brother.
You left them both after a while just to turn your body on the bed, putting yourself on your knees so you could reach them as you wanted. Ubbe and Hvitserk straightened their bodies on the bed waiting for your actions. You smirked at Ubbe: you had understood their little game and the score was better to him, so Hvitserk was your target this time.
You turned your eyes to the younger one, rolling your tongue between your lips. The corner of his lips curved upward when he got your intentions, his eyes turning into the deeper dark blue when you crawled over his hips, licking his erection before swallowing it completely, causing him to moan loud, squeezing the sheets under his hands.
His jaw dropped a little opening his mouth. And he panted in pleasure before smile to a growling Ubbe beside you two. “You… were right… brother”, his sentence parted as you moved your mouth up and down through his hard cock, feeling him start to throb inside your lips, “Oh she is so warm!” he teased, moaning again when you sucked him harder just to take his breath away.
Ubbe was stroking himself, looking at you, burning in desire as you sucked Hvitserk like a hungry animal, searching for his climax that he did not deny to you, coming fully into your mouth, caressing your nape with his fingers as you sucked everything to your mouth.
Ubbe grunted again, pulling your body to his as Hvitserk laid in the bed, defeated for the moment, panting and smiling with eyes closed. To Ubbe's eyes, you just smirked, licking your lips with the taste of his brother, letting him know that you liked it. His blue eyes wide open looking at you when he smiled, his hands on your hips, pulling you over him. You followed his motions, giving him what he wanted, mounting on his hips, starting to rub your body on his in a delicious simulation of what both of you wanted so hard. Your mouth opened in small moans and he raised his head, kissing your lips, biting your lower one, changing his hips pace under yours, trying to get inside your body. But you smiled at him, almost a savage smile, with one of your hands pushing him against the bed, instantly stopping his movements. Your eyes right inside each other. "You want to get in, Ubbe?" you questioned, hearing his giggle before he said a low "Yes" almost growled. So you moved your hips against his again, slowly teasing him with the wet and warm sensation of his cock hidden between your folds. "I did not hear you, Wolf... Do you want to get inside my wet… Warm… Tight body?" you teased, catching Hvitserk's attention by your side, as you moved your hips against Ubbe's, pushing once to each word you said about your body, making him clench his teeth against each other, this time, speaking loud and clear...
"Yes... I want my hard cock inside your warm, wet and tight body, (Y/N). And I want to fuck you as hard as I can until you burn in pleasure over me. I want to see you moaning and coming to me, so stop making us wait!" He complained.
You laughed at his impatient tone, sliding down one of your hands through his body until you hold his hard member in your fingers, feeling him wet of your juices, straightening him before starting to pull your body down over his cock.
"Oh, gods..." he moaned, squeezing your hips in his fingers so strong that you would surely have the marks tomorrow morning. His head was lying back to the sheets, his mouth slightly open, with a beautiful pleasure expression that made Hvitserk giggle beside you two.
"Is she so tight this way, brother? You can barely breathe, Ubbe! I bet you'll come faster than Thor's thunders..." He teased, but Ubbe smiled back, panting before turn his eyes to Hvitserk, speaking "I might come... faster than Thor's thunder... but I'm inside of her, Hvitserk... Can you see? She is clenching me while you're just looking" he teased back giggling. A laugh you just cut starting to move your hips against his, causing him to moan to you each time your hips beat against his.
You twisted your hips on specific motions and Ubbe finally realized what you were doing, smiling cockily as his erection got even harder inside your body. "She's making herself come to me, Hvitserk!" he said, and you smiled, increasing the pace. You were so close and he just started to throb against your walls, making even easier for you to come on his virility, moaning loud and watering his body inside of yours, turning his movements faster before he grunted, coming inside of you, sighing long, satisfied. But you weren't there yet. You were panting, your breasts coming up and down when you looked into Hvitserk's eyes. Your body still mounted on a defeated Ubbe, making you look like a Valkyrie who just has beat a warrior and is already devouring the other with her eyes.
You went away Ubbe's body, crawling over Hvitserk like a feline. His body lying down as you were coming over him. His eyes looking at you impressed.
"(Y/N)?" he called, almost not recognizing you, so desirous, (y/c/e) so dark now. But you ignored his surprised expression, kissing his mouth slowly and deeper, sucking his tongue to your mouth before slide your body through his, just slipping his cock inside your opening as he grabbed your arms, searching for support to the sudden and unexpected pleasure, moaning against the kiss without parting it.
Ubbe giggled, still panting, looking at you two and laughing at Hvitserk's reaction to your body moving over his. His fingers had squeezed your arms, trying to get some control over the pace you were imposing him. But you just increased it, the wood of the bed making noises as you tested Hvitserk resistance under your body. He wanted to tease Ubbe's performance, so it was his time to prove himself and he was going very well, hard striking his hips against yours, taking your pace to a new level when he just took control of the situation, rolling you two over the bed and coming up on top of you.
He sighed looking straight into your eyes as his hands were gripping yours against the bed, holding your body under his, locked as the savage animal you were... But you could see... His eyes on dark blue... And you could feel you weren't the only savage animal at that room when he just started his pace inside your body, striking the wooden headboard of the bed on the wall same time his hips were striking against yours. He sobbed the effort on a small grunt, keeping the pace, increasing it when your body clenched his telling him you were about to come again. His eyes never leaving yours on a delicious challenge that you loved to lose, coming to him completely surrendered to his strength and heat. "Hvitserk!" you moaned, as your body was still spasming under his. But he didn't stop, getting three more moaning of his name in your lips before he came inside your body, growling wildly over your face, like a male lion who just beat the female, putting her under his control.
He laid his forehead on your shoulder, heavy breathing. And you smiled while Ubbe got up to get a cup of mead to himself. But when Hvitserk mentioned leave, you held his body against yours, causing him to look at your eyes.
"(Y/N)?" he asked, looking at you with an interrogative tone in his eyes. But you just caressed his face, turning his look into something almost passionate when he smiled at you again, leaning his head toward yours and kissing your lips softly and sweetly again, like the first kiss you two have traded. His tasty lips were sliding through yours slowly, his tongue exploring your mouth. Your hands tracing lines on his back, shivering his skin, making him slowly get hard inside of you again. But this time you said nothing... And without a single word he held your body against his, starting to move his hips against yours, but slowly and deeper this time. You felt each one of his movements, holding his skin against yours, feeling the sweat mixing into your bodies as he increased the pace. His eyes staring at yours, searching for the meaning of all that passion on your movements as you pushed your hips against his strikes, moaning low to his ears like there was only the two of you on that room. Soon he was closer to the edge again. But you didn't make any mentions to stop, moving under his body almost begging for more. So he changed your positions, pulling you with the strength of his arms only, sitting on the bed with your body sat on his lap. One of his hands pulling your hip against his as the other was holding your nape and your hair, squeezed between his fingers. His eyes right on yours.
You were feeling more than your body getting warm. Those eyes... Those beautiful blue eyes you loved so badly when you were younger... So beautifully surrendered for your pleasure now. Ubbe must have been your favorite when you were younger, but Hvitserk always had a special place in your heart that now you could feel skipping a beat, so close to the climax again.
You leaned your forehead against his. Both of your hands holding his face as you followed his hands' commands, rolling your hip against his until you two came together. Your moan lost between his open lips and he looked at you again, seeming to understand nothing of how such a sexual thing had become something so passionate and deep. But you just smiled, kissing him slowly again.
Ubbe giggled, drinking his mead with a smile. "It seems I've lost." he said with a playful tone in his voice. And you looked at him reading in his eyes that he had already understood what Hvitserk's eyes were still questioning.
The rest of that day was strange. You spent a lot of your time in your room, facing the ceiling, thinking about what happened.
It took a long time before that heat faded away and you could think clearly again. They were your companions of life, almost your brothers, but you had to admit, they were handsome and attractive and your feelings about those kisses were far too strong to be ignored.
And what could be wrong about some casual sex to pass the time? What could be wrong about feeling that sweet taste on Hvitserk’s lips or close your eyes under those delicious roars on Ubbe’s voice?
Your thoughts were populating your mind when you heard some knocks on your door.
“(Y/N)? Are you awake?”, Sigurd’s voice, always so sweet.
“Yes. Come in,” you answered, listening to your door open again, and Sigurd came in with a bright smile on his face, sitting by your side of the bed, while you settled yourself, leaning your back against the headboard.
“You said you wish to hear me playing again, so, I came to call you to the dinner. There will be another party tonight since Ivar and Ubbe had interrupted the first one. We’re celebrating the war chiefs that came to help us avenge our father’s death, giving them a feast and some comfort before we leave for battle so, I thought you could come and feast with us.” he said, inviting you. He seemed to be quite excited about the idea of having you near his place on dinner table again.
You smiled.
Sigurd was always your sweetest one. With his smiles and kindness, he was always the one who melted your heart. You still can remember his little fingers starting to learn the oud that now he plays so well. His sweet smiles when he did it right for the first time. Now he seems so grown…
You lifted your hand, touching his face, caressing his checks while he tilted his head over your hand, smiling softly.
“I missed you, little brother.”, you said, smiling tenderly to his eyes. Even the snake mark on them now is not strange anymore, but give his face some mystery, attracting the eye almost hypnotically.
“So did I”, he answered, caressing your hand in his face with his thumb. “Things are not the same without you here. There are so many things I wish to show you! I’m now a composer! Now I play my own music!”, he continued, proudly. “And well, despite what Ivar says, I’m not a disaster with the oud anymore”, he jokes, making your smile bigger.
“Oh, I can imagine. The girls must be running after you like flies on a sweet cake, honey bee”, you remembered him of his nickname and he laughs on you, a little shy of what you said.
“This is not true.”, he countered, pushing your shoulder with a smile. “So the girls of Kattegat are now deaf and blind?” you kept mocking on him, making him laugh even louder, laughing with him for a while before you two stop, looking to each other again.
“It is good to have you back, sister”, he says. And you held him in a hug that reminded you how sweet he used to be, hiding in your arms in which he doesn’t fit anymore, but still tried to hide, hugging you back.
“It’s good to be back, brother. Here… I brought you a present too”, you remembered, reaching your bag, picking his present inside. “I know how much you love the oud so I thought about these for you”, you said, giving him a little leather bag, similar to the other that contained Ubbe’s beads. The same metallic sound when he took it from your hands, opening it to find a set of rings with metal tips, proper to play string instruments. "The seller told me they are proper to play strings separately, so you can easily pull the strings one by one, making that sounds you used to like. These rings are the trick of the minstrels that you were crazy to discover when we were younger".
He was looking at your present fascinated, wearing the rings and looking at them on his hand with a huge smile on his face.
“Thank you, (Y/N)! I was thinking about where I could find some of these for my last composition! You saved my life!” he said, hugging you again, tight. “Come. The others are in the Great Hall, we’re waiting for you for dinner and now I can play my last song for you tonight.”
He seems to be pretty satisfied with your present. Before following him, you searched for your bag once more, taking three more gifts with you. One for Björn and the other two you intended to give to Ivar, as soon as you could get some time alone with him.
With the bags settled to your belt, you followed Sigurd to the Great Hall, playing and joking with him all the way through. You were still laughing when you took your seat at the table. But your laughs just ended when Ivar’s voice had risen, sounding sore and angry. “This is not a playground and we aren’t here just to feast and celebrate. Our father is dead Sigurd, so is our mother. We should at least pretend some sorrow even if you’re not feeling anything.”
"You don't mind Ivar, (Y/N), he's just being bitter as always." Sigurd countered with debauchery so present in his words as poison on snake's teeth. "The only difference is that he now found a reason to spread his bitterness."
You looked from one to another while you were giving Björn's gift - a little dagger with some precious stones on it - in his hands. Were your brothers really fighting that stupid way again?
"Shut your mouth, you bastard! She was your mother!" Ivar complained, his frown and fierce blue eyes giving him a savage look.
"She never cared about me, Ivar. She only had eyes to you and Harbard and never looked or cared about me. Why should I care now? If I'm sad, it is because of father's death, so I have a lot to celebrate tonight: look how many men are here to avenge his death! We'll have the greater army ever formed. If this is not enough for feast and celebration, I don't know what is" Sigurd countered again, almost sarcastic.
And you could see, sadly, how your beloved brothers had really drowned themselves in senseless fights, hurting each other for nothing.
Ubbe was looking from one to another, almost fearing they might kill each other. Björn rolling his eyes on the orbits, seeming bored of the infantilism between them both.
Hvitserk was the only one looking at you, seeming concerned about you in the middle of your brothers again, like when you were young and you used to prevent them from fighting each other. He was looking straight in your eyes, clearly trying to transmit some comfort, make you feel better even though your heart was drowning in guilt. More and more you believe you should have stayed instead of traveling the world trying to prove something to people you shouldn't care about.
You left your brothers behind, your companions, your sweet ones. And now look at them, fighting for nothing. Ivar was looking at Sigurd with so much anger in his eyes that you could understand Ubbe's fear.
"Then what kind of a son are you, uh?" Ivar continued, facing an ironic glance coming from Sigurd in answer to his angry eyes. "What does it matter what your mother did to you? She was still your mother."
"You would say that, wouldn't you?" Sigurd teased and then your eyes lost Hvitserk's, both of you looking to your little brothers.
"What does that mean?" Ivar questioned and Sigurd answered him even more sarcastic and provocative "What do you think it means?"
"You tell me." Ivar's voice sounded angrier, but you wouldn’t expect what was coming next.
Sigurd just smirked, completely ungracious, barely seeming to be the man who was smiling and joking with you a few minutes ago. You could feel his teasing mood from miles away. And his voice sounded so sharp, as a blade, biting your heart the same time it seemed to be biting Ivar's short patience. "All right, I will, Mommy's boy. Mommy's little favorite! Are you just really sad she can't breastfeed you anymore, is that it?"
Any signs of self-control just vanished from Ivar's face. He frowned immediately, and you saw with despair his hand reaching for the ax. Without even thinking you rose from the chair, putting your own hand between Ivar's ax and Sigurd's neck, holding the weapon by its blade, cutting your own fingers on the process. Sigurd's breath had stopped just like the music and all the sound around the three of you.
A few drops of blood fell from your hand to the table and Ivar's eyes changed again... This time with a surprised look and then, to disappointment. He let go the ax, crawling away from the table without a word. You followed him with your eyes 'till he left the Great Hall's doors, to the streets of Kattegat.
Sigurd's eyes were wide opened, his blue orbs focused on the ax in your hands, seeming scared to the death you just prevented.
"Your hand..." Hvitserk just started when you hit the ax against the table, waking Sigurd up from his trance with the metallic blow that echoed through the room, catching his eyes with yours. "I can't believe what I've just seen here. You two just haven’t grown up! I'm still leading with two little-spoiled boys who tease each other to the limits and beyond! The only difference is that now you're not using wooden swords anymore!" you showed your bloody fingers to him, seeing his expression change from worried to regret. "Stop teasing Ivar, Sigurd! You might not be sorry about your mother's death, but she was everything to him and he lost two of the most important people in his life, so stop being so mean and cruel with him! And don't you dare think I won't talk to him about this!" you said even before he breathed to inquire you about Ivar's reaction. "This is madness, Sigurd! You could be dead now and so what? I would have to bury three of my family members and deal with another loss?”
He lowered his head. "I'm sorry...", his voice sounded low and regretful.
"You better be." You answered, looking for a concerned Hvitserk and waving positively to calm him before leaving the Great hall and going after Ivar. You knew where he was going: The hills over the town. That ones from where you could see every single house on Kattegat and the beautiful bay down there, calm, like nothing was happening around it.
You found him sitting there over a stone, looking down to the bay silently. Your fingers were still dripping small red drops when you sat beside him, saying nothing for a long moment.
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone..." his voice finally spoke and you raised your head to hear him, looking into his eyes as he was talking, even though he wasn't looking back at you. He was staring at the ground and the bay down there, clearly trying not to cry. "...but Sigurd." he finished, earning a grunt from your mouth.
"Stop it, Ivar."
"He was teasing me! Playing with my mother's death!" he countered, so deeply hurt, so clearly defensive. But his anger finds nothing but comprehension and kindness in your eyes. And it disarmed him immediately, causing him to look away from you again, trying not to feel so vulnerable, so open to you.
"I know you're angry, Grumpy. But you cannot kill your own brother just because you're angry with him. Sigurd, Ubbe, Hvitserk, Björn... They're the only family we have now. It must be different from what we wanted it to be, but it's all we have... We must take care of ourselves and be together or the enemies of your father will tear us apart completely."
He turned his head to you, looking into your eyes. And his hands took yours between his fingers. He touched your bloody fingers with his own and used his sleeve to clean your hand, checking the cut, seeing it was not that deep.
"I'm sorry for this." he said, and you used your good hand to caress his face.
"You still have the same bad temper I remember." you said softly, seeing as he bowed his lips with a shy and small smile. "Come on, Grumpy, you can do better than that."
But he just looked at you, serious. You giggled, lowering your head. And got on your belt the two leather bags you had for him. "Here", you started, opening the first one "I know you hurt your hands crawling away on the ground so I asked a woman to make this for you. They are more resistant so they won't tear or let your hands get hurt."
He accepted the pair of gloves you took from the bag, taking his own off, wearing the new ones. It fit perfectly in his hands and he squeezed the fists, smiling to the sound of the leather on his hands.
"They're comfortable" he said, smiling at you a little more open than before "Nice choice".
You knew it was his way to say "thanks". So you smiled at him, picking up the other little leather bag in your hands. Your face grew sad as you looked to the small bag, opening the present that was supposed to be delivered to your queen Aslaug. A beautiful and delicate necklace made of gold with a small pendant. A stone sculpted in the form of a tear, the same color as Ivar's eyes.
"It was my mother's gift." he mumbled, and you saw him, looking at the necklace on your hands, his fingers touching the pendant. "She would have loved it".
"It has your eye color. I thought she...", you sigh, cutting the sentence in the middle. The sound of the leather echoed again, warning you Ivar's hands had become fisted.
You turned your head to him, seeing his eyes fierce once again. His face tense, his teeth clenched against each other before he punched the ground, grunting furiously. But you just got up, opening the necklace on your hands and gently putting it on his neck, closing it in his nape with a sweet caress from your fingers.
He looked at you without a clue of what you were doing, but you just smiled.
"I thought she would like to carry you always with her." you said, looking into his eyes "Now you can have her always with you, Ivar.".
Your eyes were teary. And he touched the pendant in his neck before looking at you again.
You sat beside him once again, but this time, he silently laid his head on your legs. And the two of you remained silent, your fingers caressing his hair.
His fingers caressing the pendant... Tenderly.
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Again, special thanks to @lupy22 and @listentothewavess for the essential help with my English!
