#twobabies

The second time around, my pregnancy was as easy as the first. I decided, with uneasiness and some fear, to labor at home. I reached out to a friend who’d done it 4 times and she recommended her midwife. After meeting the midwife, my husband and I decided to go for it. We had many questions up until labor day but we stayed the course and I had a home birth. I woke up around 5 am with contractions every 15 minutes or so. When they got about 10 minutes apart, I called the midwife who came with her assistant. I labored in my bathtub, got out when labor stalled a bit. The contractions just stopped and after 30 minutes, I decided to take it to my bed. After about 7 hours, baby girl was born. I did tear this time around. My midwife decided to not do a repair and let me heal on my own. It’s a month later and I’m practically all healed. 

Life is so hectic these days with the two small ones, that I find myself (usually try calm and very patient) very short-tempered and impatient. It’s gotten very hard for me to deal with my son’s usual unresponsiveness to his name or to your usual commands like ‘sit down’ and ‘come here’. I also feel some resentment toward my husband who also had to deal with his mother’s passing and funeral arrangements. I felt like I couldn’t ask for his help because it would make me out to be selfish and not empathetic to him. My sister comes by often and helps. 

A category 5 hurricane was on its way to us a mere week after I gave birth and we had to get in the car for, what would end up being, a 17 hour drive to my sister-in-law’s house. Again, I felt that my time to heal and rest was cut short because I kept having to show face when all I wanted to do was stay in bed and nurse. I also felt that this whole situation impeded my healing process. Although my midwife has assured me that I’m healing ‘beautifully’, the nurse in me has assessed the site and I don’t look the same. Anyway, I’m still in the healing process, so I’ll give it some more time. 

Baby girl is healthy and my son is getting used to her, acknowledging her presence here and there. He has not showed the usual older sibling ‘hair pulling’, ‘poking’, or ‘pinching’ that people warned me about, but he's not your usual child so I’m not surprised. 

Time to get back to them...